Comfy_Blue

Hi Naya, I won't lie and say it's been easy. The majority of the time, I'm okay, but there are those times that I miss my old frienemy and we have a little reunion. I was a bit depressed this week because I caught a really bad cold. I know that sounds silly, but understand that prior to my procedure, I used to catch 1 -2 colds a month (I'm a first grade teacher) because all I ever ate was fast food. Now, I'm eating a lot of fruits, veggies and my immune system has become much stronger. I haven't been sick in 3.5 months. Then, outta nowhere I'm knocked on my ass by a severe cold. I had to take off Thursday and Friday due to my illness, and Wednesday night into Thursday I found myself emotional eating because I was so bummed about my cold. Granted I wasn't eating large portions, but for my sleeve it was a lot because I normally eat 3 meals a day and 2 Snacks. The food was a comfort but it also made my belly hurt and I actually pooped Thurs and Fri which is rare for me because eating so little food, I usually poop every other day or every third day. Anyhow, on Friday morning I weighed myself and saw my weight had gone up from 182.5 to 183.2. It may have just been a coincidence, but that helped me to reign it back in. People say you shouldn't weigh yourself daily, but I do because it helps make me accountable and when I start to emotional eat, I think about my numbers going up on the scale. I also want to watch my weight. When I gained 100lbs I barely ever got on the scale, nor did I pay much attention to how my clothes fit. I'd tell myself I was just "bloated" that day or the sz 12 jeans were cut wrong which is why I needed a sz 14(then 16, 18, 20 and almost a 22)

Has anyone else experienced looking smaller on camera than in the mirror? I've lost almost 60lbs, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I look "average" sized and don't see much of a difference. However, if I see a photo of myself, I am always shocked because I look so much thinner than my mirror reflection. Example: Yesterday I was looking at myself in a full length mirror in the dressing room and while I was thrilled to be in a size 12 jeans, I thought I looked about the same. I decided to snap a picture to commemorate the occasion, then when I looked at it I was shocked at how small I looked. I thought it was just that angle, so I took several more and kept looking at the mirror and the camera trying to figure out which was real. The same thing happened last weekend. My husband and I were out eating lunch and he asked to take my picture (we were sitting so it was from the waist up). I was like, "Ugh, no!" and hid my face, but he kept begging me, so I let him snap a few. When he handed me the camera, again I was taken back that I looked so small. I kept looking at it over and over trying to comprehend the image. When I went to use the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and again, I didn't look nearly as small as the picture.

OMG i am the exact same way. I went to the store with my mom and i immediately started looking at the large and extra large sizes before heading over to Women's (basically the plus size section). I think my mom has dymorphia issues in regards to my body because she found a cute shirt that was a loose large (seemed more like a 1x) and insisted it would fit me. It was cute so I bought it. I tried it on at home and my husband was like "yeah baby, that looks too big on you. Maybe you should see if you can find it in a medium?" When i returned a medium shirt to another store (not because it didnt fit but i didnt like the color) mom was like "that shirt looks teeny. You should get it in a large" i just kinda laughed to myself. Edit: One day I was feeling especially vulnerable a e a little nostalgic for the days i could comfort myself with food, so i actually out on my old sz 18 jeans and XL shirt(both of which used to be too tight) and it made me feel safe. I like being smaller, love it even, but there is that rare occasion I miss the fat

Hey Everyone Thank you for all the kind, well thought out responses. I'm sorrry to be so late replying, but after nearly 3 months of feeling awesome, I got knocked on my a$$ by a cold. Thank god for the camera, because without it, I would be completely convinced I look about the same. It's so funny because it was easy for me to believe that it was really me when I'd take pictures of myself in my heavier days and I looked fat. However, when I take pictures now (with the same picture nonetheless) and look thin I'm like, "It's an illusion/the angle/the lighting/I just happen to have my body positioned perfectly". Damn you body dysmorphia!

I'm sorry. I clicked send twice and double posted

I'm sorry. I clicked send twice and double posted

Has anyone else experienced looking smaller on camera than in the mirror? I've lost almost 60lbs, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I look "average" sized and don't see much of a difference. However, if I see a photo of myself, I am always shocked because I look so much thinner than my mirror reflection. Example: Yesterday I was looking at myself in a full length mirror in the dressing room and while I was thrilled to be in a size 12 jeans, I thought I looked about the same. I decided to snap a picture to commemorate the occasion, then when I looked at it I was shocked at how small I looked. I thought it was just that angle, so I took several more and kept looking at the mirror and the camera trying to figure out which was real. The same thing happened last weekend. My husband and I were out eating lunch and he asked to take my picture (we were sitting so it was from the waist up). I was like, "Ugh, no!" and hid my face, but he kept begging me, so I let him snap a few. When he handed me the camera, again I was taken back that I looked so small. I kept looking at it over and over trying to comprehend the image. When I went to use the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and again, I didn't look nearly as small as the picture.

If it was as easy as "just dieting" and "eat less, exercise more" t there would be no fat people. Telling an overweight person to just exercise more and eat less is like telling an alcoholic to "just drink less" or a drug addict to "just dope up less". With drugs and alcohol, you can abstain from them to help keep your addiction in check. food isn't like that. With food you have to eat it in order to live. So life as a food addict (which is why/how I gained so much weight) is like being an alcoholic or drug addict who has to drink/take drugs 3 times a day to sustain life. Anyway don't listen to people like that. You do what works for you. For some people, dieting/eating better works well. For others, it doesn't. Take my friend and I. She went to college, became a Vegan and lost 60lbs and has kept most of it off for the last 10 years. I went to the same college and tried every diet there was (weight watchers, slim fast, starving myself, Lemonade Diet, working out 3 hrs a day while taking Phentermine, etc) and I ended up packing on 100 lbs in the last 10 years. Based off my own experience, I feel most overweight/obese people are that size due in part to genetics, but a lot of it is unresolved issues and we're using food to help us cope. Also overeating is as American as apple pie. Most of our holidays, milestones and comfort are food-centered (Christmas, birthdays, funerals, family get together, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, etc) so many of us come to equate food with love and community.

The Pros - 1. I love my new body and the confidence it gives me. 2. It feels so good to be able to fit into (most) medium sized shirts (compared to XXL and some XXXL's) and a loose sz 14 jeans (compared to a tight 18, a snug 20 and a comfortable 22) 3. I lowered my cholesterol and blood pressure! 4. I haven't been back for a sleep study, but my sleep apnea seems to have dissipated. I'm no longer groggy in the morning and husband says I stopped snoring. 5. I've stopped hiding from cameras and floor length mirrors because the image doesn't make me sad anymore 6. My watches and bracelets aren't so tight they leave marks on my arms anymore. 7. I no longer feel self conscious because I know I'm the heaviest or one of the heaviest women in the room 8. I have a glow about me I NEVER EVER though I would ever lose weight (I believed I would be that .1% the surgery didn't work for) but seeing myself be disciplined enough to do the Clear liquids pre-opt diet, follow each stage of my post-opt diet, then lose nearly 60lbs between October 2013 - March 2014 has inspired me to take control of other areas in my life such as: 1. Grad School: After 7 years of putting it off, I finally enrolled in graduate school and begin next month. 2. Therapy: I started going to therapy to get to the root of why I was eating so much. It's only been two months, but I am happier, more upbeat, less tired and my patience level is improving. 3.Clothes: I've started dressing better (not necessarily sexier, but instead of throwing on jeans and a t-shirt, I take my time to color coordinate and wear more stylish clothing). 4. Better hair style: I also have started doing my hair differently (when I was heavier, I wore my hair bone straight to try and make my face look smaller. Now, 60lbs down, I'm able to wear my hair in it's natural curly state because my face has thinned out and is more oval) The Cons: 1. Every once in awhile I miss stuffing myself with food. I didn't know I was suffering from depression at the time, so food gave me comfort. It made me feel loved, safe, satisfied, etc. 2. Sometimes I resent my husband (I think it's a little twinge of jealously) when I see him piling his plate high with food and I've got a little, teeny, tiny dessert plate of food that I'm only able to eat half of 3. My surgeon said I need to wait 18 - 24 months to get pregnant (I turn 30 in a few months and would like to have had a baby sooner) 4. Sometimes I feel guilty, especially when I see other friends, family and coworkers struggling with their weight. Like the other day at Macy's my mom was complaining about her weight and how some of the clothes she liked didn't fit. I used to be able to commiserate with her.

I weigh myself anywhere between 1 - 3 times a day. I have a weight watchers scale and once I got on it and though that morning I weighed 192lbs, the scale said I was 185lbs (in the evening nonetheless) so I'm a bit paranoid now. I also use my husband's scale to verify mine. I weigh to keep myself accountable and to keep an eye on my weigh fluctations. when I don't drink many fluids my weight tends to be higher because i am retaining Water. also heavier in the evenings or when I'm on my period. I used to weigh myself like once every few months which is how my weight went from 150lbs to 2i45 lbs in 10 years.

I have a group of about 5 friends from high school. We don't all get together often (conflicting schedules, life and distance) but we're all very close and each others support network through big life changes. (Ie: marriage, first child being born, death of a family member, graduating college, buying a new house, etc). Hence my confusion why they have been the only ones who don't seem to notice my weight loss. Now bear in mind I have lost almost 60lbs and unlike my parents, coworkers, husband and other friends who see me more often (and notice I'm smaller) i would think my decreasing waist line would be most noticeable to my group. Heck, when my husband took a picture of me on his cell phone two days ago and showed me I gasped at how much smaller I am. I kept staring at the picture sure that it wasn't me or that my head had been photoshopped onto a thin woman's body (lol). Anyway how have your close friends reacted to your weight loss(and about how much have you lost)? I figured my heavier friends might not mention it because they are self conscious of their own weight, but two of my friends are very thin (like a sz 8 and sz 6) and they haven't said anything either. I started to wonder if maybe they never saw me as "fat" and just as myself, so that's why no one notices my weight, or if they notice and feel weird saying anything.

I'm happy to hear that most of your friends have been supportive. Not sure if my friends think I'm sick or not. Looking at pictures of me "then" and "now" I feel like I look a lot healthier. I have more energy and I feel more bubbly. Hopefully it's just the awkward thing and not that they aren't happy for me

i'm so proud of you! Entering Onderland is such a good feeling. I'm glad you found so much help and support on BP. I love seeing the scale go down and feeling a difference in my clithes. I'm sure you have gone down at least a size by now. It feels so good to feel your old jeans getting loose in the thighs and waist. keep up the great work! Cya in the century club!

I don''t have children, but I do have a Southern husband that likes to eat. I was having the same problem, how can I cook healthy stuff for me, but things that still are hearty (and quick) for him? I started gong on pintrest while in my full liquid faze and searching for recipes under "clean eating", "vegan" and low carb/calorie. I found so many useful recipes that mimic the classic, high caloric foods I love. Zucchini lasagna, quinoa (tastes like rice), chicken teriyaki(with low sodium soy sauce, a small amount of organic honey and white meat chicken combined in a crock pot. I eat it over quinoa which I cooked with zucchini and plum tomatoes and I swear it tastes just like Gen. Tso from the local carry out), cauliflower Soups something called a twice baked cauliflower casserole(it tastes so much like potatoes my husband forgets they aren't and keeps calling them potatoes when we eat them). I also take portabella mushrooms and put pizza sauce, low fat mozzarella cheese and a few pepperoni's (for husband) and bake them to make a healthier pizza. Husband also cooks chili with turkey meat which is so delicious and high in Protein. Helps keep me regular. Freezer bags are my best friend. I usually cook on Saturday and/or Sunday evenings and freeze some of the food. Or if it's around the middle of the week and I notice we aren't really eating a certain dish, I throw it into a freezer bag and seal it. Then a week (or two or six) later when in a pinch, i open the freezer and have several options to defrost. There are also some great food blogs created by bariatric patients like "the world according to eggface". I also really like "Bunny Food for my Rabbit Teeth". It's doable once you get into the rhythm of cooking for yourself and have a cache of go to recipes that are yummy, but meet our dietary requirements. OH and crock pots are also helpful. I like to find recipes online and on Pintrest for the crockpot so I can throw them together, then turn on my crock pot and forget about them.

Today I was eating some chicken and noodles and I started feeling too full and my nose began to leak a very thin mucus that had the consistency of Water. It's so thin and watery that sniffing it back up doesn't help and it refuses to dry on it's own. (I know, I know. Disgusting) If I don't dash for a tissue, it'll run out my nose and down my face (Double disgusting) From what I've read on the forums, that seems to be a pretty common thing. Unfortunately I'm not sure if it applies to me or not because my nose runs at random throughout the day, especially when I bend my head. This started happening about 2 years before I had my surgery. My dad is the same way. I've been told it's allergies, but I'm not one to do a lot of sneezing, have itchy eyes, hives, etc.

I'm nearly a year late, but thank you for posting this. I stumbled upon your name by fluke (I google'd "century club, bariatic and your posting about being in the century club from 2012 came up.) After reading your post, I was curious about your profile, so I clicked your name, then your blog which led me here. Anyway, I never thought about how we come to learn that fat is bad, how the hatred of who I was (and still am inside) began. It puts things in perspective and makes me aware that when I have children I shouldn't speak of my former overweight self in such negative light. There's a good chance I may have overweight/obese children if we don't instill healthy life style choices because my husband's family are all morbidly obese and my family range from "a few extra pounds" to morbidly obese as well. I feel like I'm rambling. Must be the lack of protein (lol). So thanks again for the posting and way to go on your weight loss! I see from your profile that you're down nearly a person. Go you!

When I eat out I usually opt for salmon if it's available because it's high in Protein. I also eat salads and avoid the bread bowl. I can't find anything to eat that I actually want at McDonalds, Chipotle(steak burrito bowl w/no Beans was my favorite), any most fast food restaurants, so I don't go. Even though I'm almost 30, I sometimes order off the kids menu at Bob Evans and other s. At IHOP I order the senior sampler which is like 1 egg, 1 pancake, 1 sausage, 1 bacon, 1 ham. At Red Lobster I eat shrimp scampi and a caesar salad

I drank a skinny vanilla latte on Saturday. It was really cold and I was outside a lot so I wanted to warm up. I drank about half and chucked the rest. I am allowed decaf coffee, but I don't think express come decaffeinated and I don't really like drip coffee. Aside from .that one cup I haven't had anymore coffee and don't plan to. I was a Starbuck's junkie and fear if I start having it again I will trigger my caffeine addiction and not be able to stop.

that's wonderful! it feels so good when something doesn't fit because it's too big. i would highly reccomend you keep those size 20 jeans as long as you live just to remind yourself how far you have come. when I get down or feel like I haven't lost enough or still feel fat, I put on my old sz 18s (which were super tight and barely fit) and it helps me put it all in perspective. I plan to keep them as a constant reminder of how far I've come. I hope you'll do the same

I'm so happy that there are enough people on here that don't weigh daily to give you advice. Unfortunately I am not one of them. When I was heavier I rarely weighed which made it easier for me to deny the pounds as they slowly crept on. Daily weighing holds me accountable. when i'm tempted to buy a butterfinger Peanut Butter cup and gobble it down I remind myself i'll be weighing in the next day and it helps me. Last Friday through Sunday I didn't cook for myself at all and only ate fast food and at restaurants. It was only 3 days, but by Sunday night my weight had crept up from 187lbs to 189.8. (190 in the evenings) If I hadn't weighed I probably would've took some leftover chinese food for lunch Monday and stopped at starbucks for a skinny lattee. But seeing how eating out effected my weight, I opted to take in some homemade chili I had frozen, fruit and Water. for lunch today I had salmon and veggies.

I don't eat much bread because I am paranoid about weight gain, plus it swells up in my belly and i get that stuck feeling if i am not careful. I especially am not a bread fan because I don't drink with my food so my mouth feels dried out after i'mdone and i'm stuck feeling that way for 30mins. lol right now my husband and I just ate some cold cuts. he ate 7 inches. I had like half of a 3in and was full.

Aw, thank you. I really appreciate that because I did feel kind of shallow/lame for wanting her to see me. Though we've been friends many years, we do have a bit of a rivalry going on and whenever we'd get together with other friends, I'd kind of dread seeing her because she's been steadily losing and maintaining her weight for the last 10 years while I was ballooning. I didn't realize how bad it was until she posted a pic of us from HS and I saw how tiny I used to be.

I do the exact same thing. Sometimes I just have to take a little drink, especially when I go to restaurants. It's really hard because the servers bring out drinks first and I never know how long the food will take. So there're been times I will chug an entire glass of Water then 5 minutes later our food arrives and I can't eat any. Other times (like last night) I didn't touch my glass of water for fear the food would arrive any second and it ended up being about 45 minutes after placing the order. I was pissed because I could've drunk for 10 minutes easily, then had enough time to wait. So now I try to either drink on my way to the restaurant or take a few tiny sips of water if I'm feeling very thirsty the moment I get to the restaurant.

My honest desires: 1. I want to not be afraid/ashamed to post pictures of myself on facebook because I don't want people to see how big I've gotten 2. To have a healthy pregnancy 3. To completely rid myself of sleep apnea 4. To no longer be the "fat" one of my friends (in HS, my friend Jane was chunky and I was thin. Now she's super thin thanks to a Vegan diet and I was chunky and I could tell she delighted a little in that. Looking forward to getting back to my old, thin self and having her see me) 5. No longer avoiding my husband's work/family gatherings because I am embarassed about being the fattest woman in the room and/or that people are like, "DANG, his wife has a pretty face and nice personality, but she looks a lot bigger than in the photos" 6. Being able to buy clothes without trying them on first (I've actually done this several times so far and it feels great) 7. For my knees to stop crunching from the excess weight 8. Even though I'm sure I will always see my imperfections, I am proud of how I look and enjoy seeing my slimming form in the mirror