magtart reacted to Jen35 in Trying to open up
Thank you for posting this. I know I'm only 10 weeks post op and I don't have all the answers, but I do know myself. I've been seeing a therapist for quite a while now in order to get to know me better . I am a food addict - it really doesn't matter what the food was, I loved the taste, the comfort, the feeling I would get from overeating. I have never successfully dieted because if any food is off limits, that made me obsess about it more until I ate it and ate it .... Overeating was my issue.
I had the sleeve to break that cycle and help my addiction. Now, I can't overeat to get my "high". Every food gives me restriction (some more than others) but I haven't found any food that slides right through my sleeve, including Water. Now, I don't really have any food that is "off limits" or "bad". If I want a taste of pizza (or ice cream or whatever) , I have a TASTE (a small bite or two) and that is enough for me. I know some on this forum will yell at me for eating this way but for me, this works. My therapist agrees with this because I've always had the mentality that this food is good and this food is bad. And if I eat this bad food, then I'm bad - which just makes me want to say screw the diet and the cycle continues. Post sleeve, I don't obsess or crave what I can't have because I know that I CAN have it, just limited amounts, if I choose to eat it. But now it's my choice to eat this food in moderation or that food in moderation. I'm in control and I'm satisfied now with a taste. And I don't "evilize" any particular food.
Others may find that completely elimating certain foods is best for them - I am not going to judge them or tell them that is wrong. And I'm not saying that my way is going to work for everyone else. It works for me right now. Down the line, I may adjust what my food plan based on my journey at that time. But in 11 weeks (1 wk pre-op, 10 weeks post-op) I've lost about 50 pounds and have been successful so far. I really don't need others on this forum telling me how "bad" I am for doing what is best for ME. That's what got me to 244 lbs in the first place - feeling like I'm bad because I ate this or that, or because I'm fat, because I don't deserve to he happy, healthy, etc. Labeling people, judging them, how is that really helping?
magtart reacted to sharonintx in Trying to open up
RE: Slider foods and restriction.
I realize that a lot of people find that some foods slide right through and they are able to eat a lot more of the things that are considered bad. It's kind of like with the Hair loss issue. A large majority lose hair.< /p>
But not everyone fits the same mold. For me, there are no slider foods. Everything fills me up. Nothing slides, drinking while eating does not make the food flush right through. When I first joined this forum the consensus to most of the things I posted about eating was that as soon as I was properly healed I would discover that I was stretching my sleeve and that I would never lose weight if I continued to eat as I pleased rather than follow a specific diet set out by a professional.
I do appreciate the good intentions, but you cannot lump everyone in the same category. I don't have anything close to a stretched sleeve. And now it's having to worry about what happens in 2 years? I don't think so. I eat what I choose, lose weight at a reasonable pace, and simply will not spend half my time worrying about what may happen. What kind of life is that? It won't be my life. There has always got to be someone that wants to throw in the what ifs, the warnings, the implied disgust that some of us are negligent sleevers. I do appreciate the words of wisdom but let us remember that each individual is different and we cannot put each other in a one size fits all category. I think it's great that some people are very determined to stick to a diet plan and make it a lifestyle. I wish you the greatest success. It would be great if everyone was wished success no matter your personal opinions. I say that I will continue to have success in the manner I choose and in 2 years I will still look great. PS: I never set a goal weight and won't be doing so. This is a wild ride and where ever I land will be fine by me. Lets all be secure enough with ourselves to offer support without being negative towards anyone else's choices.
magtart reacted to Canary Diamond in blog post - what not to say to a friend who has had weight-loss surgery
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. People who've never been seriously overweight (or underweight, or paraplegic, or victims of 3rd degree burns, or sufferers of a host of physical aberrations that make one hyper-sensitive about one's appearance) often have no tact in such matters. I would NEVER make a comment about another person's body. I might say, "That color is great on you!" or, "You seem tired today," (not you LOOK tired today) or "You have something green stuck in your teeth," but never a comment that insinuates I presume to understand or mirror another's self-image.
magtart reacted to cindymg in SCARED....
I had a six month approval cycle dictated by my insurance company also, but actually it gave me time to really decide if the sleeved life was really for me. Plus I needed the time to get the upper GI, psych eval, stress test, etc.
Don't know if I was supposed to lose weight during that time, because the closer I got to the surgery, the more I ate. Some people call it "food funerals." I called it the "dead man walking" diet (you know, the "every meal is my last meal" syndrome). Like you, I wondered how I was ever going to go out with friends again, what I was going to do if I couldn't go out a drink beer and inhale chips and salsa.
Since my surgery, where I thought I was going to miss certain foods and eating large portions whenever I wanted, I actually feel free and released from that addiction. I don't miss my old habits, old foods don't taste the same anymore, and I feel so much better now that my diabetes and high blood pressure are under control.
As far as missing the eating and drinking with my friends, I find that I actually enjoy my friends more now that I am not obsessed with the chips and salsa, or the bread basket, or the plates of Pasta. I eat my small portions slowly and can then sit back and talk to friends.
For me, the sleeve is giving me a chance at a normal life. No regrets.
As far as negative reactions of people to the sleeve surgery, maybe I'm just old and bitchy, but I don't really take much crap from anyone. Remember what Ann Landers (or maybe Dear Abby) said, "no one can take advantage of you without your permission." Translate that to "no one can make you feel bad without your permission."
Good luck on your journey! It will be amazing!
magtart reacted to UTGal99 in Rain On My Parade ...
Honestly, I hate to say it....most people are just ignorant and uneducated about bariatric surgery in general. And it is easier for them to eye roll and make judgments than it is for them to educate themselves.
I say good for you! I am glad you are taking this big step to regain your life. I did it 8 weeks ago and it is the BEST decision I have ever made for myself. I have lost 32 pounds in 8 weeks and feel AWESOME! No complications, no nauseau, very little discomfort pain when healing. I am really doing super and you will too!
If you and your partner have made the decision for you to do this for your life then who cares what everyone else thinks and I wouldn't bother telling people if they are going to be negative about it. I hate that it has been this way for you, but I assure you once the weight sheds off they will all be extremely curious to what your secret is!
Good Luck to you and keep your chin held high....I leave you with these two quotes from Dr. Seuss:
"You're on your own and you know what you know - you are the one who will decide where to go!"
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!"
That Dr. Seuss knows what he's talking about it....
magtart reacted to M2G in I understand y they want our liver to shrink b/f surgery
Not every surgeon requires a pre-op liver-shrinking diet. My surgeon doesn't do this for anyone, regardless of BMI, etc. He has a special tool that holds the liver out of the way during surgery. Also I think he likes to tell his patients that he thinks pre-op dieting is "mean" lol!
magtart reacted to susan6161 in What was I thinking?
Ten years (yes, ten years ago) I started researching weight loss surgery! I finally decided to proceed and was approved in June. In mid-July I started a 4 week pre-op diet where I lost 20 pounds. A few days before surgery I started doubting my decision...was this too drastic?...would I be successful?...would I be able to handle this?...what if something went wrong?...should I give dieting ONE MORE TRY? Thank goodness I did it! I am now 6 weeks post op and am down a total of FIFTY POUNDS!! Am I excited? Heck yes! I set a goal to lose 50 pounds by my birthday in November and reached it 5 weeks early. My next goal is to be down 75 pounds by Christmas. I did not tell my parents about my surgery and can't wait to surprise them when we go to visit. I am so glad that I finally decided to do this and now I keep wondering why I waited so long! What WAS I thinking? Better late than never. Good luck to all sleeevers---your stories are inspiring!
magtart reacted to endless80 in I know most people or carb crazy but will I ever be able to eat a sandwich again?
Thanks for responding guys and letting me know what you can have. I am going through some mental hurdles right now trying to decide if this decision was the best decision of my life or the absolute worst. It does seem to get easier daily though. This is where the rubber meets the road though with me. I am 2 weeks and 1 day out. By now, if I were on a diet and not sleeved it would have flown out the window by now and I'd have a heap of McDonalds sitting in front of me as I typed this. But I can't now, this is my path. In a way I am mourning my old self but on the flipside to that coin, that person was literally killing me.
So thank you for sharing, it does get better.
magtart reacted to SleevedJune62013 in Where do I stop...goal weight related....
I'm having issues with the advice "stop when you feel comfortable". Stop what? Stop exercising? Stop eating healthy? If you're suggesting we "stop losing weight" what is the solution? Cakes? French fries? Potato chips? That's a slippery slope. I've NEVER had a problem gaining weight before surgery but this may be a reality for some of us in the future. Good luck and I stay HEALTHY.
magtart reacted to SpecialK1960 in Too Small :(
I know - ladies only - but the guys are boring and well, I like women. And uninvited as it is, I think I can add a different perspective. You said " I've spent my whole life telling myself that I'm beautiful bigger, what if I hate it being skinny? " You know what? You are admitting that you had to tell your self you look good when you were big. Guess what, that is BIG PERSON thinking!!! You no longer have to tell yourself that your appearance is acceptable. PERIOD. It is. You are you and you should not have to convince yourself that you look good - not when you are big and trying to rationalize your appearance when you are unhappy with it. But it is a broad and clear statement. You do not have to base your opinion of yourself on your appearance. Thick, Thin, no matter. That is just a look. You have made a huge life change - that is great. But with that make the attitude change - My self worth is not that same as my appearance and my weight is not the source of my beauty. You may have to get used to the look of a thin you. Basically, by being thin you will conform with what others expect of you. What about you? What do you expect? Thin will be a new look. Regardless, it will be how YOU look, love it, embrace it - thick or thin - it is you. Love you, you do not need to feel bad about your appearance. Be proud of your decision, your sacrifice - and your new thinner self. good luck.
magtart reacted to Indigo1991 in 5 months out and loving everything :-)
So, five month anniversary and I sometimes can't quite take in all the changes in life over that time. Short period, monumental change.
Am I the same person? Yes, I am. But I feel as if someone has polished me. I feel shiny and full of energy, like I did many years ago. I am calm, confident and happy, emotions that have been buried beneath misery, uncertainty, frustration and anger. Not all weight related but summed up by my failure to deal with my health and weight.
Life is now full of endless possibilities. I see no barriers. I am even considering taking up running. Me, the girl who was told from a child that I was built for comfort, not speed.
I mentioned this in another post but I am beginning to like how I look, all of me. Yes there are some lumps and bumps but so what? I have restarted a social life and hosted a dinner for business colleagues last night with 4 courses. Didn't even panic - chopped up the starter and hid it round the plate: ate most of the piece of fish; had some sorbet from the pudding; and ate some oatcake and a bit of cheese. Sounds a lot but wasn't really - but no one noticed other than the man next to me who said he liked a woman who didn't fuss about her food, lol. If only he'd known :-))))) Now to get on with the next challenge, dating - eek!!!
When I had the surgery, I did so with great hope of change but not sure what it would look like. Now that I am here, I am not sure I can actually explain what this all means to me. It's pretty overwhelming to be down six sizes, there are times I barely recognise myself, lol.
I can tell you all the things I can now do that I couldn't before. But I wish you could see inside my head and see the new me or feel the pleasure I take in life now. This surgery has given me a second chance ... and I will not waste it.
Thanks for listening :-)))))
magtart reacted to Sweeteyes27 in What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"
magtart got a reaction from gamergirl in What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"
I guess I'm the camel because it is my back that is breaking. I just turned 59 and my back is in such bad shape I can hardly move around anymore. I have spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, and arthritis in my spine. I have already had two cervical surgeries with fusion and cadaver bone implant and one lumbar surgery. I now have two more herniated discs in my lumbar spine,. I know I would not be suffering like this if I were 100 lbs. lighter. I am also on two blood pressure meds.
I have been fat all my life and it is time to make a change if I want to see my son get married and make me a grandchild. Yesterday was my 59th birthday and I just went for it. I started the process. Can't wait!