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Nykee

LAP-BAND Patients
  • Content Count

    1,842
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Nykee

  • Rank
    Bariatric Master
  • Birthday 01/19/1971

About Me

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    girl scouts camping
  • Occupation
    disabled
  • City
    Albany
  • State
    Oregon
  • Zip Code
    97321
  1. Nykee

    Starting over, 5 years after surgery

    My band is not slipped and my pouch is not stretched out. I got it checked a few months ago. I live with it being too tight because it doesnt work for me otherwise.
  2. Nykee

    Starting over, 5 years after surgery

    wow this is my same exact story. Its been 8 years for me and I have Not had the unfill - Im scared to death of gaining weight. Ive lost 140 pounds BUT I have over 140 left to go- For years its just pain, stuck, choke, cant take my meds, malnourished, eating is a joke, constant heartburn, etc etc... but no weight loss to show for it. I KNOW if I got the unfill, I would gain the 140 back, soooo I cant risk it.. Im even thinking about getting a fill to see what happens. I wish I could get a gastric bypass. - Good luck on your do over! Let us know how it goes!
  3. 8 years. And no major problems. (I did have some small issues in the first year)
  4. Just... in the exact same position I was when I left off here years ago. I am STILL around 320 pounds... and i am STILL TIGHT and have restriciton problems constantly. But instead of trying to fix it with prednisone, I just deal with it. I choke every day. On food or water. I think.. ill just start off with a food journal. I just gave up cookies yesterdaty or so I tell myself, we shall see. I gave up candy 10 months ago, and have had NO candy since. Which is mindboggling. I have not done a food journal for months. I got to see where I can make changes. See if what I THINK, is really the Truth. Tuesday April 12th 11am. - 2 pills and one gulp of 100% Grape Juice. 12:45pm- 4 tortilla chips 2:30 - One inch section of granola bar ariel handed me and I took. 3:30 -Now.. and Im hungry. but... ya. I can still feel that granola bite, in my throat. 5:00 = 3/4 cup mashed potatoes with gravy (from this dinner thing, i fed the meat to the dogs) 20 ounces 1% milk, with nesquick 7:40 - eating Rye chips right now. hey. I should go to fit day.
  5. I wont post in here any more since i am making people uncomfortable... Ill come back when I am doing all the right things and have just great things to report about my situation.
  6. Thank you. I thought everyone got dumping syndrome. I was counting on that to keep me away from the sugar. I guess I better do more research. I dont want to eat those things, I just cant seem to stop, no matter what I try. I was hoping the dumping syndrome would work for me. Thanks again.
  7. I think your right.. but then I think, NO.. the junk food is providing enough calories to justify my 300 pounds. People think I dont eat and are confused, but really choc milk and cookies add up fast. I also eat Beans, sour cream and chips. So I AM getting the calories and all that. I think about the health thing and then I think about how I was in a wheel chair 5 years ago.. and my diabetes was out of control.. and I had sleep apnea.. and NOW I DONT.. I healthier than I have ever been.... and I just want the next 100 pounds to come off, to be even more healthy. but, still.. I know what you wrote it right.. Thank you.
  8. The fact that I say I will not follow the rules.. is because for 6 years I have tried and I have had the best of intentions and I have failed. I might follow the rules for one day or one week.. or even a couple months.. but, I always fail eventually.... I dont feel LIke I am MAKING EXCUSES, as I am just stating FACTS... MAYBE one day I WILL do it, and succeed, but I have not so far so why should I continue to fool myself and lie to myself that I will.. Im just staRting to believe i NEVER will. I DONT have eternal hope for the situation. Thats all... I tell myself not to buy the cookies, all my family isnt allowed to get me cookies and never do, my care provider will not get me cookies., but I still find a way.... I dont know any one here is saying that I am so horrible.. when isnt there thousands of obese people on this site, of whom ATE TOO MUCH, DID NOT HAVE CONTROL< ATE shit that wasnt good for them... for many years, always failing to stay on diet, always giving in and eating junk, .. I know Im not the only one.
  9. i decided to go get an unfil. And then go back and get a fill. And just kinda start the whole process over again. As I have been stuck for a few years now, in this rut, where I cant lose any weight, yet my band is really tight, I eat Cookies and drink chocolate milk so the calories and fat get thru.... and I choke on real food every day... and I have been afraid to get an unfil because I have lost 100 pounds and I dont want to gain any back. So I decided to just TRY this, at least its SOMETHING... I figured if It doesnt work, i can always go back to being overfilled (in order to not gain weight) So how long do I stay unfilled.. What if for just that ONE or TWO days, I realise how normal It is, how free it is and how I been living in misery all these years.. What it I come to my senses and I dont allow my self to be overfilled any more.. and what if that leads to weight gain, BUT I choose the weight gain over ever going back to living this way... I kinda tell my brain right now, that Im just sick and there is no way out of it. Ya know, like an unfil is not possible and I just have a sickness I will have to live with... and well, thats what I do, I just live with it... I HATE EATING FOOD. I LOVE NOT being able to eat food. I LOVE how I always turn down going out to eat, and I always so NO to all food that is offered me and i never eat in front of anyone. I LOVE how I am not a slave to fast food, and how I just dont care about pizza and Chinese food any more. YEA I still feel like a slave to fruit juices, flavored milks and cookies and chips.. (BUT NOT CANDY!! I gave up ALL candy 10 months ago! I made it a rule one day and I never touched candy since, I used to eat it all day long, cuz even if the band is tight, it can usually go down) I wish I could make a rule about cookies now, and milk.. but I feel like I would starve, im already hungry constantly as it is. So. I think I am gonna do it. I SURE HOPE the fear doesnt get the best of me. I wish I could say the right thing right here.... BUT being honest, my goal is to get another nice tight restriction. I DO NOT WANT TO BE ABLE TO EAT.
  10. What are you talking about? If I can eat cookies than I can eat real food. Cookies crumble into almost nothingness.... and chips. And slip thru the band. DUH
  11. Thank you so much.. !!!! I guess I was thinking of the gastric bypass like the band, like I would have permanent restriction... thank you for pointing out that is not true. You also gave me the best idea I have heard.. A start from scratch thing. .. What if I go get an unfil with every intention of getting another fill, later. I can start over to find that sweet spot. I would have to deal with finding a good fill, the money it cost, figuring it all out. It would be like starting over. I would get gung ho again, and I would try to follow the rules.. and maybe I would actually succeed this time. who knows. BUT ITS WORTH TRYING.... this is the only thing that has ever made sense to me, as to a reason to go get an unfil.. I can tell my brain that I am being banded again or something. I can tell my kids, and they can help me, they do so much for me, but I sneak the junk, If this whole Journey was like REDO.... everyone would rally around me again.. THank you.. Im crying.. I know what I am gonna do. !! (when I get my tax refund, lol)
  12. Thank you for the link. OF course I know what the RIGHT advice is. Basically the right advice is, DO THE RIGHT THING .. OR... STAY the WAY you ARE. (and try to be happy with yourself) BUt.. I am NOT WILLING to stay the way I am and be happy with it.... and I am PROVED to be Incapible of doing the right thing.. SO I AM Going to find a way to lose the weight.. whether its the right way or not. ANY WAY.. ANY WAY.. ANY WAY I can do it.. is what I am gonna do... I am just at such a desperate point, that I feel, when is it time to stop TRYING to do the right thing, .. and just do what will WORK. So far, THE ONLY THING THAT HAS EVER EVER EVER WORKED FOR ME, is having a really right band, that limited my intake of food. THAT IS THE ONLY THING that has worked... sooooooo, ya.. IM stupid and im selfish and im crazy, what ever. ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOSE THE WEIGHT. I figure the Gastric Bypass will allow even less food, drink, calories... into my body, and thus it will work!? They say that people can stretch their stomachs out, but I dont do that, cuz when my body says you cant eat, I dont force it. I will only eat as much as the bypass allows me to, without discomfort. ahhh forget it.. I keep going on and on.. II do thank you for your help. tho. oo
  13. I went to counseling for probably 10 years total. I have been a part of dozens of support groups. I have taken specific therapy sessions. I have done all different kinds of I also have a BS degree is Psy, with some work beyond that. (they dont offer financial aid for masters programs or I might of gone further) And used to council at women centers and Rape crisis, ect.. Myself.. You dont know me. You just cant handle real honestly when you see it. I assume. I KNOW what is going on... I KNOW why I am fat... and KNOWING is not the key... That is another thing I wont wait another 20 years for, WAITING to be Mentally fit enough to stop eating too much. I been working on myself inside and out, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.... and I have failed. JUST LIKE everyone else here who might still be obese 20 years later. Just because I cant get a hold of "whats eating me" doesnt mean I dont deserve to lose the fat.

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