Scylla

Let me share a personal story with you that may have you second guessing if you really need to tell everyone you had weight loss surgery. Back in 2004, a woman who is a friend /mom in my son's playgroup lost a lot of weight. She claimed she was doing Weight Watchers and lost over 100 pounds in a really short amount of time. Now of course I couldn't really tell you the exact time frame of her weight loss, because I was too busy leading my own life and attending to my own family and career to pay attention. This friend has successfully kept over 100 pounds off (sometimes going up/down 15 pounds) over the last 10 years. I have found myself jealous on occasion. How has she been successful when statistically speaking, most people regain their weight over time? Never once did I even consider she had WLS. It wasn't on my radar because WLS wasn't a part of my world.......yet.



Flash forward almost 10 years later. A few months ago I met this friend and a few other moms for a mom's night out. A few days before this, I had attended a WLS orientation at my hospital. Fresh on my mind were the eating habits I would have to implement after WLS - eat Protein first, chew slowley, don't drink while eating, etc. I watched my friend eat her dinner. She ate her chicken breast first and left most of it on her plate. She ate some veggies second and avoided the rice. She didn't take a sip of her drink. Not even once. Could this friend in fact had WLS back in 2004 and chose to only tell a select few? Maybe. I could ask her, but at this point I've decided not to. If she chose not to tell people, I'm going to respect her decision. Not once in the 10 years did it register on my radar that she may have had WLS. Not. Even. Once.



Here's the point I'm trying to make Weight loss surgery and the process is kind of like buying a new car. Once you buy one, you suddenly become more aware of every car on the road that looks like yours. People tend to be egocentric and aren't as focused on what we are doing as we may think.



I am so much more than a woman about to have weight loss surgery. I am a mother. I am a wife. I have built a successful career. I have many hobbies that I enjoy. I am a private person, in general. I don't want my weight loss journey monitored by everyone in all of my social circles. For me, I'm telling close family and that's it. These are the people who live with me day to day and who I really need support from. Who knows, maybe with time (and proven success) I may choose differently. For now, that is a decision that I'm comfortable with. If someone asks about my weight loss and asks how I did it, I plan to answer with a very simple, "I made some lifestyle changes and the weight is falling off" or "With a lot of hard work!"



That's the truth, right?



Trust your intuition and make a decision that's right for you.

Hi fellow Chicago sleevers! I finally finished jumping through all of my hoops last Tuesday and on Friday my doctor's office submitted for insurance approval. It will be any day now before I get approval and have to start my 30 day pre-op liquid diet!

Married almost 33 years and my hubby never new my weight until I decided to have this surgery. He married when I was heavy and I think he is a little nervous about me loosing to much weight. He has been very supportive about this journey. He even went on the liquid diet with me before surgery. Great guy.

diane1-I called the insurance they said I'm approved. I met the criteria. They are just waiting for our medical review to sign off and send the info to the doctor.

takingaleap, I am so glad to hear your husband agreed to go to therapy with you!
Your husband might not see texting another woman as "cheating" or as a big deal since it doesn't involve a physical relationship. However, texting or chatting online with someone other than your spouse creates an emotional relationship which is often even more hurtful than a spouse having an affair and saying it was "just sex".
This happened with a friend of mine. Her husband went to his 25th high school reunion and he started talking to an ex-girlfriend from high school. They became friends on Facebook and started texting. Turns out, it was pretty innocent on his part--he works nights as a pharmacist by himself and has no one to talk to that late at night and it's often slow at the pharmacy. The high school ex GF knew this and would text him at night. The texts themselves were pretty innocent, but when my friend saw them it became clear to her that things were escalating, at least on the part of the high school girlfriend. She was wanting to get together "for coffee" and had let on that she was only very recently divorced.
Once my friend let her husband know that she saw the texts and was not cool with him meeting up with his old friend and that she felt their relationship was unacceptable they met with their pastor and started going to counseling.
Best of luck to you! I hope your husband will see the error of his ways and come around to your way of thinking on this.

Medicare paid for my removal and all testing I had done prior to removal.

I work in surgery everyday. Even tho your surgeon has only done 26 sleeves has he done any other bariatric/general surgeries. And always remember hun he will have another doc with him if it's early in his career. I would allow him to operate on me. But in the end do what you're comfortable with not what everyone else says. If you feel confident then be confident in him. :-) best of luck

Obviously u are in a lot of pain but please, don't take anyone's advice on an Internet site for weight loss & expect to find answers from complete strangers. Marriage is much too sacred to turn over to ppl that don't know Anything about what all is @ stake with you & ur husband.
Do u have family,friends or minister,counselor (even if he refuses to go) that can give u emotional support & help u through this crisis?
I hope you find the right answers that will work best for everyone concerned.

First of all him trying to and doing is two different things. If this is not the first time why let it even get to a second time. There are two things I despise and that is a liar and a cheater and if either then you have to go. There is no second chances for taking my trust and throwing it away. If you don't get away from him now he will continue if this isn't the first time. Just my two cents but once a cheat is always a cheat.

My Nut said no gummy vitamins, as they don't have the same percentages of RDAs as chewables. Mine actually recommended the Costco/Kirkland brand children's Multivitamins. Similar to Flintstones chewable vitamins, much cheaper (and sold in bulk) but better RDAs in some things. She also said that I will need sublingual B-12 for after surgery and chewable calcium citrate tablets--she actually made up a schedule for me of when to take each Vitamin every day because apparently the multi-vitamins have to be taken at a different time than the Calcium citrate for best absorption. I don't recall the frequency on the B-12, but, yeah, I think it was once or twice a week.

When it comes to all the many different surgeons out there, there really is no such thing as "normal". They all have their own ways of doing things. The better question is: Can I do a pre-op diet anyway? My answer to that is YES!! It will help you get in the right mindset for what you will have to go through after, because the truth is it will be a lot harder than you imagine. Everyday will be a new fight. Not only that, every pound you lose pre-op will mean you are that much closer to your goal post-op.
Best!

Update: yesterday was pure hell. Apparently I was having a reaction to the pain meds. I was dry heaving ALL day. Today is MUCH better. Yeah!!! I can't wait to go home. Today is do different from yesterday. I think the only pain I have is from the dry heaving and not the surgery. It will get better. My loving Hubby has been with me the whole time. Yeah for him!!

What a great idea! Way healthier (and tastier) than canned broth or boullion cubes!
Not prepping myself just yet, but I should be getting a surgery date within the next few weeks and then my one month of liquid Protein diet begins. Although, I should take a cue from you and start making some homemade stocks.

I had my sleeve on January 22, 2014. It went incredibly smooth. After surgery I was up walking within hours. The first few days I found it most difficult to drink warm liquid instead of cool or even room temp. chicken broth was my friend! I never did have, and still haven't really had any pain associated with my incisions. I had pain in the middle of my spine and my shoulder pretty bad the first few days. The surgeon stated that was referred pain from my diaphram being irritated. I did not experience any nausia. Within a couple days of surgery I was out shopping at the mall and out to a movie! I returned to work within a week right after my post op.

The day of surgery I weighed 220. My highest weight was over 280 (my scale only went to 280 so I don't know the true highest). The day after surgery when I went home, I weighed 232! The doctor assured me this was just Water weight and it would take about a month to even out. I am now at 204. I find I stay at the same weight for 2-3 days usually which is suprising just because my calorie intake is still so low. I'm on soft foods for 3 more days. The things I find easiest to eat right now are soft poached eggs, cottage cheese, Soup, shrimp coctail, cheese. I still have at least one Protein Shake a day which I don't love at this point. It doesn't keep me full very long at all, but at least I know I am getting a lot of Protein. Another thing I do is make sugar free pudding and I add Protein Powder to it. That is very filling. I'm suprised that I actually am hungry frequently. I fill up fast, but am hungry again soon. I hope this passes when I am onto my new life long eating plan I keep having to remind myself to eat very slow, take tiny bites, and wait in between bites for the food to go all the way down. I threw up one time last weekend, because I took 2 bites of something too quickly and it just wouldn't go down. I hope to not make that mistake again anytime soon!

I have been overweight my entire life, since 4 or 5 years old. I have had diabetes over 10 years, which was becoming increasingly difficult to manage and I was about to have to go on insullin. My primary driver for surgery was a cure or major improvement in my diabetes. I'm happy to report that I've not taken my diabetic meds since a week before surgery. I'm waking up with a fasting blood sugar of 95 to 105!! I'm very excited.

I found Bariatricpal when I was searching the web for different issues and symptoms post op. I decided to join and I'm so glad I did. I find it very comforting to read other people experiencing some of the same issues I am going through. I hope it will be an encouragement to me, and that I will in turn encourage others.

I hope you had a great birthday celebration! Good luck with your surgery today!

Everyone's "desires" so far have resonated with me, too! Here are a couple of mine:
To be able to comfortably fit in a seat in a stadium seat. My family loves to go to hockey games, but I don't usually go because I don't fit in the seats comfortably. I have been able to jam myself into them in the past, but because of the massive pillow I am sitting on all the time (my butt) I never have enough leg room in stadium seats--I have to sit with my knees pointing sideways so they are not crushed into the back of the seat in front of me. And that's saying nothing of the major bruises I get on my hips from trying to cram myself into normal size stadium seats.
Being able to fit into a student desk at my kids' schools during open house and parent/teacher conferences. It is so embarrassing to have to stand at the back of the room when everyone else is sitting at a desk. Want to know what's even more embarrassing? Sitting in a student desk for said open house and having the student desk COLLAPSE. I wanted to disappear.
To be able to keep up with my family. We went to Disney World in 2011 and I had the hardest time keeping up, even with them trying to walk slower than usual to wait for me--I usually just sent them ahead of me and met up with them. That's no fun.

I don't have "doubts" exactly...I know I need this. However, my surgery is now less than 48 hours away and I'm now getting scared. Not for me really, but the "what if's" are driving me crazy. My kids are 8 and 10 and the slightest possibility of leaving them motherless makes me shake with fear. But I'm focusing on the positive...I'm going to be fine...and I will be a better, healthier mom. Doubts are normal. This is surgery and it's a big deal, but you will be just fine!

You absolutely need 3 Protein shake per day, there is no other way you could get your Protein intake without those 3 Protein shakes.
Your body is an amazing specimen and it is still healing internally from a major surgery, give it some time and follow drs orders. I promise your weight will fall off

Anyone that gets to know you, and likes the real you, won't care that your have some jiggley parts. If that is all they see then they aren't the right person for you!

I am sooooo emotional!!! I'm watching my 600 lb life and crying! I hope that gets better.

Water Water water! And if you can, rest. I am in day three. This is the first day I didn't have a headache when I woke up. Yesterday I tried to walk around the block every time I felt hungry. My daughter loved it and it helped distract me and may be the reason I feel better today. I'm down 6lbs since Thursday.
In my head I'm Dory from Finding Nemo. "Just keep swimming...just keep swimming." Lol.

This is my journey in video. Check it out.
http://fgr.am/f/reyoRbcmuE

I don't know why more bariatric programs don't warn their patients about the likelihood of the emotional roller coaster in the first few weeks post-op. You need to know, your family needs to know. It's totally normal.
As someone else mentioned above, a lot of hormones are stored in fat, so the rapid initial weight loss releases a lot of that back into your blood stream, so most of us are pretty emotional. Add that to lingering effects of anesthesia (which can take weeks to be completely out of your system), some post-op pain, inadequate sleep, and the fact that you just turned your life upside down, you're out of your normal routine, you're having to establish completely new habits for eating, drinking, and Vitamins (did anyone else literally need a chart to keep track of it all?), and the fact that you just eliminated what, for most of us, was our primary life coping mechanism (food), and .... well. .. is it any wonder we're a bit miserable for awhile? I woke up one night in my first week, had a bad case of the teeth-chattering shivers, and ended up full-out sobbing for no apparent reason. My poor hubby!
At least I'd encountered a few threads about the post-op emotional thing, so I sort of recognized what was going on.
As so many have posted, it gets SO much better. Yes, some of the changes are long-term, but most of them you'll adjust to quickly. Chin up girl, you're going through the worst part now.

You are so newly post op, it's hard to see how bright your future is now. I remember those early days/weeks, and i thought maybe something was wrong with me because I just felt so generally awful. Super fatigued, the weight wasn't coming off like I thought it should (I was ridiculous - it was coming off great) and just uncertainty that all would be OK. I would read threads on here about people who felt great 2 days out, blah blah blah. Results "not typical". It was hard not be short-sighted, but the truth is that if you work on making the changes you need to, you will transform your mind and body.
Now, at over a year out, I am so incredibly normal! I can eat anything and everything. I can drink Water to my hearts content. I can eat small but normal portions and feel fine. I look normal. I was wear normal size clothes. I'm normal, normal, normal. That's all I ever wanted to be. I also had/have a great life, so losing the weight, managing my diet, and moving into a healthy life just completed it for me.

Thanks so much for your kind inspirational words and advice. Knowing I might be able to gulp Water really helps!
It's honestly not at all like me to be so pessimistic or feel sorry for myself. I should be grateful I have had a chance to have this surgery when so many others cannot access it. It has dawned on me that perhaps now that I am starting to notice my clothes not fitting and the weight coming off I might also be grieving out of a feeling of loss.
Is that weird? Grieving the loss of my extra pounds? Anyone else feel that way? Although I'm obese, the rest of my life is bliss. I have two wonderful loving kids, a fantastic husband, a great career, and a cozy little house where we are warm and safe together. My physical appearance has not bothered me as much as the concern I might not be around to see my children grow up if I don't dramatically improve my health.