SDH

Ugh not as fun, I got my woman garbage & I retain a lot of water. so I had to try to step up my water intake to compensate. At least its almost over.
 
I had a rough week in dealing with that, but as of today I am cleared puree food! Hallelujah!!! I am normally not a Hummus fan, but that was some great food. Dinner tonight was low fat refried beans, a bit of guacamole, a bit of salsa & a touch of sour cream. in total it was maybe 2oz. but it was good. now it's to introduce the other pureed foods, I bought some baby food, for days when I have to run, sounds bad but when your hungry, you never know. I figure I will keep eating the soups where I have a freezer full & as they told me today 1-2 protein drinks a day for a very long time. which is fine by me. makes it easier.
He said to drag a bottle of water everywhere, when people start eating they forget to get water in & get dehydrated. I usually do any way. now I'll be checking my urine again to make sure today I am a long way away from my goal of 64oz I maybe have 30. so I will be drinking, drinking, drinking... in sips, sips, sips.....

I have been working diligently on managing to get my 64oz of fluid & actually have worked out to get 74oz, the liquid includes 3- 17oz bottles of water & 3- 8oz protein shakes, I have found routine & drinking the same thing work the best for me & I also divided it up into 1/3's throughout the day. yet I feel I always have a bottle of liquid in my hand. by night time I am so happy to not have something in my hand, but my nurses scared me about dehydration. so every-time I go to the bathroom I am always looking at what color it is. yes I do that. I have been hitting my goal of about 70 grams of protein. & the last 2 days I have also had about 1/4Cup broth, with a shake of Mrs Dash (my new best friend) I don't add that total to my fluid counting even though I could the last 2 nights my family has had hearty meals, like lasagna & ham & tater casserole. (I made these ahead of time to help if I had problems with surgery) I haven't so much wanted to eat them, more I have a horrible habit at the end of the day of snacking. That's where the soup came in. I have some mixed feelings I need to work thru before I do eat real food. I have a few idea's like changing what my evening pattern is, I have some projects to start as soon as I have a bit more energy & my incisions heal up a bit more, I don't want to ruin anything I have worked so hard to do.
 
Today I had a great couple of personal victories, 1- my oldest was mindlessly eating a big muffin for breakfast, & I thought, I use to do this, now that kind of repulses me. 2- I got to drive to do an errand. I felt so free, where I haven't hd pain med's I knew I felt good enough to do it. Both of these put me in some deep thoughts about how my life was going... I could have eaten 2 of those muffins before, & if I don't get my health under control, then I might have to rely on others to get me around. it just helps me know I have made one of the best decisions of my life. I promised myself on New Years this year I will take back my life! I am on my way!

I have been lost in thought for awhile, running all kinds of emotions.
So I thought I will do my old standby. Make a List...
a List of Why I am wanting to keep my head up & not cheat, not give in to my belly...
all its moaning & groaning of thinking it wants something Sweet or Salty... or something besides Shakes, protein, veg's or a single piece of fruit..
 
things I want to be able to do.
~sit in a both when I go out to with my family.
~not have to worry about whom is driving, due to the seatbelt issue.
~ride any fair or amusement park ride.
~be able to go buy cloths that don't come from The Big Girl section (basically anything without a X or few)
~be able to not have fear of people asking when I'm Due.
~for that matter no terrible comments or remarks.
~to be able to actually Smile without hiding the pain of something.
~to not have to worry if I drop something & have to pick it up in public.
~be able to go swimming at a public pool without giggles.
~when family & friends gets together to not worry about a chair breaking.
~to be able to ride the dirt bike.
~to be able to wear high heels again when I feel like it.
~to do a 5K without walking.
~going skiing.
~go tubing.
~go rollerblading again.
~ride a horse without extra stress.
~go on the zip-line.
~go golfing without getting to tired.
 
 
I have many more that have rolled through my head & now that I sit to type they have disappeared.
This Journey is for me, for my Health & Happiness.
Sometimes I just have to remember that.
 
this was just a quick rant.
I'm so ready for this change.
Happy Trails to everyone on their own Journey!