Miss Mac

So.......why are you still there? That is a question my doctor asked me when I first confided in him about verbal and emotional abuse in a previous relationship. He encouraged me to do whatever I needed to do to find a place of mental, emotional and physical safety. This same ex would chide me about my weight and then bring home donuts. Not just any donut - hot Crispy Crème Donuts..... My life was full of mixed messages. No one needs to live with constant confrontation. Sounds like your kids would benefit from a calmer environment, too. Hopefully you can find a resolution shortly. As for work, it's only eight hours, it's only eight hours, it's only eight hours...........

Don't beat yourself up. Sounds like you are having a dark day today. I agree that if there was a psychologist involved pre-op, it might be helpful for you to touch bases again. We all get tired of being strong.......and since you don't have anyone supportive in your circle, by all means come here to the forum to rant or to cry. You did the right thing to take control of your health. Family is resistant to control. Find an outlet for your stress. If you cannot afford a copy of 50 Ways to Sooth yourself Without Food or The Emotional First Aid Kit, I will send you mine. Then when you are done, you can pass it on. If you go into my profile on this site, you can send me an individual private message. We have all been through some junk. Don't be shy.

When I entered into the 12 week pre-op program for my sleeve, I had no idea how I was going to eat 60 grams of protein a day. I was a fruit-a-holic and maybe got in 15 grams a day. Now, six weeks later, 60 grams is easy, and a few times I have passed 90 grams! My pre-program diet had healthy choices, but it was really lop-sided. I had been wondering for years if I should just go to a nutritionist. Now I am appreciating the delay in preparing for my sleeve. I have learned so much about balance in my food choices. There is another appointment coming up Friday, and when I get on the scale it will show me DOWN 15 pounds. I am not used to my weight going down. This whole process is great, and I am glad I jumped in.

Thanks. I just snooped around on mybariatricpantry.com and ordered some sample packages.

Congratulations on making a decision that will change your life forever. What it comes down to for all of us is Quality of Life. You have a supportive partner, and that is the greatest gift of all. I am 5'4" and started my journey at 235. I have gained 50 additional pounds in the last two years, despite my best efforts to lose weight. The weight has started to affect my posture as well as factoring in on other co-morbidities including a stroke in 2010. Although it is inconvenient for you to stop smoking, a stroke or heart attack or abdominal aneurysm is more inconvenient. So, it looks to me like your hubby loves you and wants to have you around a long time. No doubt he will be by your side to encourage and support you through this. Stay on the forum, here. You will find endless tips and help through peoples' individual journeys. Welcome.

unjury.com and chikenutrition.com are the two I just ordered. There are others.

Never heard of Chike, but I just took time out to order the sample pack. I ordered a sample pack of Unjury yesterday. Like you said, good idea to know what I like and have it stocked before surgery. Thanks.

Chicago here, but I have a sister and a sardine can full of first and second cousins in the area around Westport and Greensburg, Indiana. An ancestor of mine, General John Hunt Morgan (Civil War) came through there tearing stuff up,thinking he was gonna whoop some Yankees, but when he got to Cincinnati, bad Karma caught up with him and he got put in his place. I am still in the waiting process for a sleeve too, but I have my second nutrition appointment and my psych appointment coming up on Friday (the 13th? - oh crap......)

Maybe your hospital has a Patient Advocate on board.

On the website lookhuman.com you can get a t-shirt that says YOU DO YOU. So, my suggestion is to just do what you need to do to get healthy. Yeah, it's gonna be scary, especially if you have never had a surgery before, but that is how this forum got here.........so that you have someone to hold your hand to get you through the tough parts. Sorry that you don't have support at home, but you do have support here.

oh man....you can get shingles more than once? I had them a year ago and was in a very dark place mentally for the worst two weeks of it. I sure don't want to go through that again. All in all, it took three months to completely clear up and quit stinging. I feel for you having to go through all that at the same time with your sleeve. Thank goodness your medical team brought you out and you were able to kick off some weight.

Nutrition guidelines from my NUT at Loyola University Health Systems for my pre-op 12 week program was this: 1) 60 + grams of protein (which is about 45 more grams of protein than I was eating) 2) Only 2 servings of fruit (not endless gobble fruit fest like before) 3) Eat more beans, not so much potatoes and bread 4) Eat the protein first, then veggies, then fruit, then I shouldn't be so hungry for starchy foods. 5) Total daily calories 1100. Log daily on myfitnesspal.com to maintain accountability 6) weigh and measure - a visual "cup" of food is not the same as an actual measured cup of food. Actually this one has been my biggest lesson in portion distortion. So far, five weeks into this part of the program, I am down 15 pounds.....so, it's working. I need this surgery so badly that I am willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to undo an adult lifetime of mis-manageing my diet. Food is not my friend. I have found out in the last five weeks that I do not need NEAR as much food for fuel as I thought I did.

Add this to the list of reasons that I am glad I made this decision for my upcoming sleeve: I just replaced a 3 year old high quality mattress because my weight destroyed my side of the bed.

Before I made the decision in August to do the vertical sleeve, I was afraid I would have to give my travel funds to my daughter or a niece because I struggle to walk even around the house. But I think now, with my sleeve coming up after I finish this 12 week program in early November, I am going to add Scotland to my bucket list. And, thanks to the surgery, I will be given the gift of a much bigger bucket! My passport is good until 2019. I've never gone anywhere with it, but I was a federal employee at the time, and they were giving them away like candy at work. Well, I had to apply and pay, but I had it like within a week! One of the places I want to see in Scotland is Cardoness Castle, the original McCulloch homestead for my lowland border clan McCullochs. And I would want to wonder over to Hadrian's Wall on the English border. My understanding is that Hadrian gave up on trying to take Scotland because the border clans (My People LOL) were too fierce, so he built the wall to keep the McCullochs, McDonalds, McDougals, Ross's, Munroes, and Gordons out of England. All that to say this.....I am expecting the sleeve to give me a new lease on life. I know the recovery will be challenging, but I have to take the risk. And by the way, my last name has morphed to McCullough because we spent our Scottish Plantation years near Dunluce Castle in County Antrim, Ireland from 1609-1726.....then off to America. Family history stirs a fire in me because I strongly believe that we need to know whose shoulders we stand on. Since retiring early last year, my genealogy project has helped occupy my stroke recovery time and fill my days. I knew we were Scottish, but I had no idea we were THAT Scottish. So, how do we sleevers contact each other individually?

This is so encouraging to me. I, too, am counting on my upcoming sleeve to resolve pre-diabetes issues and get me off of multiple meds. My weight and my numbers have been going in the wrong direction for years. It is interesting that this forum reaches to Endinburgh, Scotland. One of my paternal ancestors, Godfrey McCulloch (hence the username Miss Mac) was executed there in 1697 - the last person in Scotland to be executed on the iron maiden. Well, that's the murdering horse-thieving McCullochs. Thank goodness we had some Presbyterians on the other side of Luce Bay to balance out the family Karma. Recently, my youngest brother had some DNA work done, and the results take us straight back to ancient stone builders on the Orkney Islands. Resolving health issues and losing at least 110 pounds would enable me to travel from Chicago to my ancient homeland. Right now I can't even walk around the block. Congratulations on your results. I needed to hear what you had to say.

Da Bears! Hi there.....I am southwest of the city in Alsip, retired federal employee, getting my sleeve in November, too. Will probably get a date with my surgeon's appointment later this month. My pcp referred me to the Bariatric Program at Loyola Universities Gottlieb Hospital. Everyone there has been so kind and helpful so far. I am hoping to lose about 110 pounds. I am 5'4" and 235 pounds when I started this journey. My mother passed away not much older than I am now. She was 5'2" and weighed 320 pounds when she had an aortic abdominal aneurysm. I just saw myself gradually becoming my mother and I had to break the cycle to be able to keep walking. My whole family is huge. My oldest brother had a heart attack at the age of 47 - he weighed 420 pounds. Most of my cousins and aunts and uncles are 300 plus. What is your story? Where in the Chicago area do you live? Who is doing your surgery? Welcome to the forum. You will find help and reassurance here.

Not from Nevada, but that lake behind me in my picture is Lake Tahoe, taken from a lookout on the Nevada side. I was in Reno for a business convention in 2009, and hopped on a tour bus that took us out and about for 4 hours. Tahoe is gorgeous! What a beautiful place to live and enjoy your recovery. My sleeve is not until November, so you will be ahead of me. Good Luck and welcome to the forum.

I don't know if this is the right time to suggest this, but there was a psychologist on Oprah years and years ago who was speaking on lopsided relationships. She suggested that instead of thinking "I love him/her - why do they treat me this way?" Start thinking "Why would I love someone who treats me this way?" Well, this change in perspective got me out of a dark way a couple of times. P.S. I don't like confrontation either. Oh man, sorry for the tough love, but here goes..... If this is your normal instead of an isolated incident, why are you still there? I had an ex-husband who isolated me (geographically and emotionally) from my family and friends for ten long years, so I guess I just have a zero tolerance on controlling behaviors now. It took a violent death threat for me to realize that my patient longsuffering endurance was not going to keep me happy or alive. I am sorry that this person is running interference on your desire to communicate with another person. Come on back and talk to us some more. Maybe some one else has a more clinical and less sensitive take on this than I do.

My psych evaluation is coming up on the 9/18, same day as my surgeon visit. I am actually looking forward to it because the damage to my self image comes from former spousal abuse. I was able to make a daring escape in the middle of the night, and got a divorce, and moved far away, and went back to college at the age of 56, but I never got counseling. His hurtful words come back often, but I have to knock them away like cobwebs. My self-worth shouldn't depend on the ghosts of rages past. I (and you) are loveable and worth being loved. It is bad enough that people can hurt us so much with their words, but I do encourage you to not mentally abuse yourself. The surgery can definitely be the catalyst that gets your health on track. I agree with 2Big2Skate that a psych visit can help you get your thinking on track so that the surgery has complete advantage for you. I am looking forward to mine to help me put my surgery in the proper perspective.

Sounds like you are a modern nomad. My first ex-husband moved the family 14 times in 23 years. We were always looking for a place to live, changing utilities and libraries and churches, out of touch with old friends, getting drivers' license changed, kids were the new ones in school nearly every year, changing doctors, forwarding medical records......what a hot mess. He had a chance to take a permanent position with his employer, but it would have meant less money because he would have been considered unpromotable. I wish you the best in making that decision. My vote is for being happy and stable and having roots.

One of the requirements of my 12 week pre-op program is to weigh, measure, and log my food on myfitnesspal.com. So, it's a habit now, 4 weeks into the program. I am no geek, but I can function in the program. It's helpful and reduces guessing about what nutritional values I am getting every day.

Won't have my sleeve until November, but in past surgeries the catheter has been put in after they had me under anesthetic. When the nurse takes it out, it's not so bad. I don't know what your modesty level is, but I find that the older I get, the less I care. Just do what you gotta do and let me go home.

Of the eleven surgeries I have had, I was never instructed to not use a recliner, and that includes two knee replacements. With my most recent surgery (ACDF), I had four vertebrae in my neck replaced with cadaver bones and hardware, I was in a hard collar for six miserable weeks and was INSTRUCTED to use a lift recliner and sleep in it too, to reduce strain on my spinal cord. Several times I have been sent home with compression stockings, and every time I was instructed too "get up offa that thang" and move around every hour or so. You can get DVT just from a long plane flight. Our experiences with the sleeve are so individual. Follow your doctor's instruction. He/she has their reasons.

Yep. I bought the sleeve book as the download version. Very informative. I know that once I am on the far side of the sleeve, I will refer to it more. I also bought the Emotional First Aid. That one was recommended for my bariatric program.

61 until December 1. My pre-op surgeon visit is coming up September 18. Here's the thing about exercise - it does get more challenging as we get older. I will need to lose 100 pounds to get any range of motion or good form going, but here is what I am doing: I invested in a variety of exercise DVDs so that I could not get bored so easily. They have very different effort levels. I have one for bedfast people, several for chair work (chair salsa, chair tai chi, chair pilates, chair strength training, and my favorite Chair Boxing). In my collection are DVDs for Hula, Bollywood, Belly Dancing, African, and Salsa. I found a Richard Simmons Sweating to the Oldies boxed set on sale, and have done Zumba with my walker. Walk Your Belly Flat can be done with a walker. I just stand up, hang on, and try to keep up, sometimes at about half the pace. She has three 1 mile increments that take 15 minutes apiece and can be done standing in place, in your home. On any of these, 15 minutes is about all I've got. If I do 30 minutes of anything, then I can do nothing for the next 3 days - just exhausted. So do what you can and know your limits. Now, about that ice cream......what I have reduced myself to is Aldi's sugar free creamy popsicles - 14 calories apiece. Not the same, but compromises have to be made for the greater good. Here is the sleevers' mantra - PROTEIN FIRST.