QueenCityGal

I never really felt overweight even though I knew rationally when I was. I was always just so very active that I didn't have time to feel it I guess. But I was also horrified at any pictures taken of me and would usually be the person behind the camera. It wasn't really until the night before my surgery when I took a couple random "before" pictures that it hit me. I just cried like a fool for hours when those candid photos showed me just how large I really was.
But what's getting me is that now after the surgery and almost 80 pounds lost in total is that I still feel morbidly obese. People do the complementing thing now and I have more energy which was a surprise but it doesn't really matter. I can't see it when I look in the mirror. I still see the me I was the night before my surgery.
On the upside, people do say that it takes some time for your brain to catch up to your body since the changes are done so fast. Fingers crossed for that one! So far the only way I can really "get" how much I've lost is if I take the one outfit I kept from before and hold my current clothing up next to it and marvel at how tiny they seem in comparison. lol

I'm always horrified by my pictures. I was very shapely and at a healthy weight as a young adult, when our self-image is formed for the most part. I hate when I think I really look good because I did whatever today....and then someone takes a picture and what do you know! I'm FAT! How the heck did that happen I wonder?
But wouldn't you know it, when I was 120 lbs at 5'6, and measured 36-24-36? Oh then my thighs were sooo fat! That's what I thought then.
I'm hoping that now that I'm all grown up, I can get m weight and my self-image aligned in a realistic fashion.

It blew my mind when my daughter showed me a picture of myself she had taken on the sly before my surgery....I was so upset to see how large that photo made me look because I never saw myself that way....sure I would suffer abuse from ignorant people... I knew I was big, but not that big....I always tried to carry myself with pride no matter how big I was...
She took a picture of me a couple months ago sitting in the same chair and instead of spilling over onto the arms of the chair there was room to spare in the seat....
When I think of that first picture I want to die........
10 months out, I can cross my legs and wear a XL to a L in most clothes.....
I was on a waiting list for 4 years....Can't believe it is my turn to get this straightened out and feel healthier....
You will not fail...You won't be perfect because none of us are ...But if you want this bad enough you will reach your goals.....Mind over matter and changing your eating habits and working with your tool, you will succeed...
Go girl go!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very perceptive.
There is a difference in the way we perceive ourselves and they way we actually are. My mother could not believe that old woman in the mirror was her. Now that I am 64, I know what she meant.
I did not begin thinking of myself as fat until the physical limitations and discomforts set in. Now I think of myself as thin but not perfect which is OK with me.
There is a body-mind-emotion connection. When changes occur in any of them the others must change accordingly. Change takes time and work, it is not automatic. If you want the best for yourself you will lead the body into health and ability. Irrational and illusionary images must be defeated with self-truthing as in the case of your friend.
You are facing reality and that is good. Remember, you are looking at a temporary picture. You are making change happen. When the time comes that the obesity is gone you will be able to adjust your self picture and enjoy the new you because you faced the old you head on.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see and how do you feel about yourself (before and after surgery)?
Last night I got a bit of a wake up call. I was at a party where there were lots of picture being taken. I saw some photos of myself, and was like "holy crap, is that really me??" Was not feeling too happy because I look really large in pictures, yet I never felt like I had gained so much weight back, and didn't see myself as being so overweight. Reality check, bigtime. I'm way larger than what I perceived. In the mirror, In my eyes I still saw that person that I was 10 years ago, but on paper (and on screen) the fact is that I am so NOT that person I was 10 years ago... and not perceiving the true reflection of the person I am in reality helped lend itself to the big weight gain (again) I now think. "But I don't FEEL that large, so I can't possibly look so fat in pictures..."
Contrarily, I have a friend who had a full bypass a few years ago. She's dropped almost 200 pounds, yet she tells me she still "feels fat". She is far from that and looks good.
I know I'm overweight, but don't feel it sometimes. Well what I mean is that I do feel it physically (because I'm uncomfortable) but I don't feel that people see me that way or that I look that way, it's very strange. I suppose I need to keep looking at pictures of myself to reinforce my reality and the fact that I really need this surgery to happen. And when it does, I don't want to fail at it.

This is a wonderful statement. SO very true. THANK YOU.
And thanks to the rest for chiming in, I really do appreciate that. I'm out of my small funk now and psyched once again to be going to week #2 of the seminar at Synergy tonight. One more week of that, a shrink eval and then insurance submission. Then bye-bye you evil stomach!! Yessss.
It's unfortunate that sometimes the people who you want to (and think will) stand by you and support you the most in a difficult time, are the ones who turn their back on you. In the past it's only made me a stronger person, lesson learned. Who needs them now?! Let them snub their nose but while they still can't bend over to cut their own toenails, I will be sporting my old size 10 leopard mini skirt and looking smokin' hot again (well... ok I can at least dream about that and hope it may come true, right??) haha

Thank you! Wow you JUST had it done? Please do share your experiences! I have some good and bad feelings about Synergy, which I will speak of later. I'm probably going to pick your brain as you go along your journey but I promise not to bug too much
I was wondering, since many of us WNY-ers are coming out of the woodwork, maybe someone can make a "WNY Group" on here? According to Caruana yesterday, he has "sleeved" more than 400 patients in the area so there's gotta be more of us out there.

Well hello there people!
Glad to see there's some Buffalo peeps on here. I just joined up today (after lurking here for a while and reading tons of stuff), because I finally had my surgeon consult and signed my consent papers today. Yay! I'm seeing Dr. Caruana, and he is doing the sleeve which was both my choice and his recommendation. Soooo, now to finish the pre-surgery process (and what a process it is!) and get my insurance auth (which will probably be sometime next month)... in the mean time I'm hunkering down and preparing myself now with eating and behavioral changes so it won't be such a shock afterwards. I'm totally stoked and I can't wait.
On that note, I hope to chat with you all going forward and maybe meet up someday for coffee and cake?? Errr... I mean just coffee? Ok... SIPS of coffee??!!?
Oh and am I the only one here who is going to really miss having my daily dose of a Timmy's double double??!!? aaaacck!!
Cheers (from the Elmwood Strip area)!

Hmm... the link should work, I tested it. Did you click on the red type in my post above? That's the correct link.
If you're using your mobile maybe you clicked the wrong thing by accident. Try this instead:
http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/groups/show/255-buffalo-and-western-new-york/