mil621

For me' date=' I learned a lot of faulty beliefs about food as a child. My Dad, who had schizophrenia, was never very loving (actually extremely abusive) but on occasion, when he felt especially happy, he'd share his joy, and love with us buy buying junk food. I remember him carrying me on my shoulders at around 4 years old down to the corner store and bought me those little chocolates wrapped in foil in the shape if a football! That's a special memory for my because I've had very few experiences of feeling loved by him. (Food = love) I was the oldest of 9 children. I had a lot of responsibility and stress growing up seeing as my dad was unreliable mentally and our mom was a raging alcoholic with a mood and anxiety disorder. I felt very comforted with food. I liken it to a drug. I could eat so much pizza that it would get me high. I would feel relaxed and happy afterwards. (Food=escape) I was never called fat in kindergarten, but that changed in 1st grade. It was so humiliating. I was ostracized from my classmates and I hardly ever had friends through out school. Thats when I knew I was fat. My mom said I wasn't and that it was baby fat and I'd grow out of it. I didn't. I got bigger and bigger. I went through a little phase where I tried not eating. I wasn't very good at that. (Food=companion) So this little fat girl grew up to be a fat teen with very low self esteem. The first boyfriends I had at that time were real scumbags and of course that's all I thought I deserved, subconsciously anyways. They were into the drug scene and I made some pretty poor choices back then, experimented with drugs, sex, and alcohol. During this time I lost weight. I remember fitting into a size 16 and I felt like I was getting skinny. Food wasn't an issue for me at that time. Male attention was my drug of choice. It sure felt good to feel wanted and be given compliments and to have that void in me, that deep dark hole of just desiring to belong and feel significant temporarily filled by the strange men. By the grace if God, I was able to pull my self out of that. But at 15 and having had many many horrible experiences, I developed depression. And there was my good ol' frenemy FOOD. (Food=antidepressant) I got my first job at Taco Bell. I was 16. I ate whatever I wanted. I was up to 230lbs and 5'3". There were times I tried to diet and exercise, just never worked out. I met my husband there. He liked me because I was big. He was into that. I never felt pressured to lose weight and he treated me to anything I wanted. (Food= love) He didn't do it to hurt me, he saw feeding me as making me happy which it would do. For years though, I'd cry to him. "I'm so fat, my knees hurt, my back hurts, I can't climb stairs, I broke your moms chair, I hate my self, that's why I can't get pregnant, I'm too fat, I can't lose weight, I need help, promise to help me?, don't let me eat too much.... And on and on. He'd try. He would really try to help. The addiction was too powerful. I decided I need to do something about it. I started researching fertility treatments and they assured me if I were to lose weight I'd greatly increase my chance to get pregnant. I researched the lap band back then, before anyone really heard of the sleeve. I decided that that's what I wanted. I had to lose 30lbs to get the surgery and I put my butt to work! I wanted a baby! I was infertile for 5 years and once I lost those 30lbs I got pregnant. I was around 250-260lbs then. I said well to heck with getting the lap band now! At the end of my pregnancy with my son I was a whopping 310 lbs. (Food= I can eat more when I have an excuse...I'm feeding two!) Some of the weight came off and I was pregnant with my daughter at 276lbs. I was 300lbs at the end of that pregnancy. I was the fat mom. The lazy mom. I was the fat wife that just found out after (at that time) the whole 9 years I had been with my husband he had been cheating on me with another woman!!! I was not going to be fat anymore!!! I pursued wls and had my sleeve on 2/13/13. I am down 116lbs. Currently weighing in at 185lbs at 6 months post op. I have had the most bumping road I could have imagined for my self. I have had several breaking-up and getting-back-together episodes. I had an extremely slutty stage too where I was reverting back to what filled my void as a teen since food wasn't an option anymore. I cheated on my husband with random men. I was a mess. As for right now, I'm doing good. I'm happy with my husband and have not been promiscuous. Doing pretty good eating wise and working on becoming a better me. I'm learning to love myself in a way that heals my void so that I wont rely on an external substitute. I am learning to be really nice to me. Now if I can only quit smoking! Lol, but really I need to.[/quote']

Wow that's very inspirational and must have taken alot of courage to share with people. I for one have been up and down with getting it done. I hear stories the good the bad and the ugly. I hear stories like yours and although I don't or can't relate to ur story but maybe with a few things it kind touches home with a few things. I want to do it because of health reason HBP and my butt not fitting in things but also to look good, I hear wow ur beautiful but I don't see that when I look at my body, my arms are too big I have love handles and forget my butt. Maybe u can share a little if ur experience about ur surgery I'm a week away from getting mine and so nervous haven't had any surgery since 95 so apprehensive.

my Soups are homemade which are better' date=' but when my Protein intake are low my resource is Bariatric Choice, is an amazing website that is design for bariatric patients and high in Protein. For example chicken Soup a box of seven 10.95 and has 15 grams of protein, they carry numerous variety.

I also, consume from them the hot chocolate which has 15 grams of protein an is delicious!

i drink muscle milk light 4 oz with 1 scoop of Zero carb Isopure unflavored powder which contains 39 grams of protein per scoop.

G2 from gatorade is great and plenty of Smart Water which contains electrolytes to avoid dehydration.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

Is that very pricey because some websites take advantage because these are things we need to use? What about Vitamins and Calcium do we have to use those

Yes' date=' i have loss 39 pounds since surgery and was sleeved on 7/12/13. I also, had high blood pressure, diabetes type 2 and taking numeros medications. when you go to the Cardiologist the trick is to be relax or else your exams will not be favorable.. even at day of surgery you have to be relax if not they will even can cancle your surgery. I definately feel awesome and you can do it too !

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

I know relaxing is key thanks for the tip and info so wow u almost lost 40 lb in a month or so that's awesome. What drinks and Soups are u eating where can I buy it?

Remember this is a life changing tool' date=' you will be able to eat what you want but smaller portion, just think you had spend all your life eating what you loved and that had bring you were you are now ! be patient and enjoy one day at a time... after surgery you would not feel hungry at all, so its like painless weight loss..

when you go out on dates and with friends you will be less expensive because you will not be able to finish a whole plate, with friends you can share an order or take a goody bag home! Youll be fine, just worry to recovery healthy and f

steady, drink your Protein and most importantly your Vitamins.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

OMG u sound like you feel great and like a pro. Wow I want to feel like that I'm just So scared this stupid heart thing I have to go for a second opinion at the cardiologist that's what has me more worried ya know. Then I have a bit of a hernia boy I swear I know that this is a life changer for heathy reasons but I better look super hot after this lol. Have you lost weight already?

Good luck on your day...

Sent from my iPad using VST

Thank you nervous my day is sept 10 at Lenox hospital I just hate that throw up feeling the first day and the way I won't be able to eat that I love. How and what do I eat when I go out with my friends or on dates. But still have to be cleared by my doctor I didn't pass the EKG so I have to see a cardiologist they said my left ventricle slightly enlarged

of couse you should be scare' date=' but trust God hands and you will be ok. the surgery itself for me was not a major thing just bring uncomfortable the first day, then day two and three was a piece of cake. the crew at the hospital I was were God sends. am loving every day that goes by with no regret. I have lost since surgery 36 pounds.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

Awesome I hope I have the same experience, thank you let's keep posted

Bronx in the house! was sleeved on 7/12/13 at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan with Dr. Kini... awesome experience

Sent from my iPad using VST

How was it? Are you in pain as the days approach I'm freak in out. I'm doing mine on the 10th of sept in Lenox

Yes I am I have an appt with my surgeon on Thursday and see if he can refer me to a cardiologist in the hospital once they look at my EKG report because it was read by a nurse practitioner on the day I did my preop work.

So I'm thinking maybe she read it wrong because I did my chest X-ray the doctors said that looked fine I'm messy ally cleared for that

I would get that checked out first' date=' then proceed with everything else.[/quote']

Yes I am I have an appt with my surgeon on Thursday and see if he can refer me to a cardiologist in the hospital once they look at my EKG report because it was read by a nurse practitioner on the day I did my preop work.

OMG just found out that I have a enlarged ventrical what am I gonna do? Do u think they will stil do it?

My surgery is scheduled for Sept 10th. Just wondering if anyone else has the same date!

Hi I'm also having surgery on that day in NY. Now I have one question did u have to do the FMLA paperwork if ur gonna be out if work more than 2 weeks I was thinking 20 plus days and dies HR have to tell ur job because I didn't want them to know

I was wondering can we have slim fast or Special K drinks?

Wondering can we drink slim fast drinks or dies that not have enough Protein

Has anyone started incorporating Protein Shakes in their diet in prep for post surgery? I have started but I feel so hungry!! I feel my stomach is the size of a gallon of milk lol ::cue the dramatics::and that little shake just isn't doing me justice - I am hanging in there tho' date=' but was wondering if it was just me.....[/quote']

I don't know what drinks ur drinking but it's mind over matter we all know that. Your probably hungry because u need to eat more Protein I eat nuts like almonds or Peanut Butter on a fruit. I haven't gotten my liquid diet but since I'm always putting myself on diets I have done the slim fast drinks then I will have a light yogurt and some nuts that keeps me full until dinner

Hi everyone September 10th and super anxious and excited bit apprehensive.

september 23rd here as well! so insanely nervous.. like' date=' really gonna puke nervous. such a big step. I just have to keep looking at the future and not the present. one minute I'm ready to jump onto the operating table and the next minute, I'm ready to jump out of my skin. LOL.[/quote']

Me too why is that feeling

I guess we are pretty much excited I hope we can be this excited a week after our surgery anyone doing it in Lenox hospital

And very excited for you that's less than a month away!!!

Yes and I'm very scared and anxious and excited at the same time. You hear all these stories if pain gas and stomach noises can't eat or drink like before and I get a little worried ya know. I know this is what I want because although alit of people are like what u look nice curves are great big and beautiful embrace ur curves I feel uncomfortable that I can't wear a size 10 or smaller because my ass don't fit in it or the cute little bathing suit although I try to look on the brighter side of things and eat right and excercise just not enough.

Tentatively scheduled for September 11th.

Lol I'm tentatively scheduled for sept 10th

I hadn't thought of the physical tools like measuring cups' date=' etc. I have an electronic food scale, but I forgot about getting some of the other stuff in advance. Good reminders![/quote']

What's h-pyloren and how do u get that?

I'm in NYC as well. I'm getting my surgery at Columbia Presbyterian.

@cheryldiane80 when is ur surgery mine is Sept 10th

September 10 sleeves where are you!!

I'm getting sleeves at Lenox hill hospital scared and anxious and happy a bunch of emotions going on. What to eat how I'm gonna feel. The amount of Pain I'm going to feel.

This may sound funny or weird' date=' I was sleeved Aug. 21, 2012, down 93lbs! Which is fantabulous!!! Here's the thing, I've noticed that I can't laugh like I used to...just a few chuckles gives me that laughter pain you get when you've laughed so hard you almost peed your pants!! It's weird that long deep laughter is gone! Anyone else notice that???[/quote']

You know I get on here and hope that all I hear are the good things or that things will be normal on here, which brings me back to should I get it done, I mean I want to because I'm over weight and want to be healthy but then I read stories like yours and wonder OMG this is true I'm not gonna be able to laugh the way did

Oh and I have lost 30 pounds since last Sunday (when I had my last meal). Since the day of surgery I have like 20 pounds.

Wow sounds pretty scary, I mean the chest pains . I'm a little scary cat I would be freaking out. So does everyone stay that long in the hospital? That's a long time 4 days and are they sure the chest pains are from gas and won't lead to further complications. I fear all that I wonder is it worth it. I mean I want to be healthy and thinner but wonder if all that is worth being 50 or more pounds thinner? And 30 pounds that's great congrats you only need 20 more ?? What was ur starting weight? Mine is probably now 224 I'm short and small boned so when I lose weight my fear is I'm gonna look sickly. Well I hope your journey isn't too difficult. feel free stop and chat anytime and say how your doing.

That's good to hear I was a little apprehensive never heard anything about him so glad that now someone can actually write about it and I can hear it first. Lol

Hope you continue to feel good, how did you take care of your nausea?? And is it completely gone. Have you actually lost anything since .