Oak Park Lorena

I see, so you the keepers of the forum will flame and insult anyone who doesn't read all the threads first to make sure it is the right forum? Good to know. Also, if this is a forum to discuss being single, why are there people who are married and in relationships doing all the posting? Maybe you should turn your friendly, helpful gaze on them and rip their heads off, too. Maybe start with OKCPirate. He's in a relationship, no? What's he doing on a single's forum? Why aren't you shooting your rule-breaker flames at him?

I wasn't necessarily speaking of OKCPirate's post, I was speaking of the posts by those who felt the need to chastize the OP and insult her for having the temerity to speak up. And I don't know that she was rude to him, she was rather blunt, but I don't know that it's rude. I think that there are many people on this site dispensing advice when it's not asked for and often when it isn't appropriate. I'm not surprised that there are people who don't appreciate that.

Sorry, but how is a post entitled "Single and Looking!" a question? There was no question, looked like a rather factual and exuberant "hey, I'm here" kind of post announcing that someone was looking for kindred spirits. Good thing all you vets were here to set her straight. I honestly think this board needs a thread about cyber-bullying, I cannot believe how many snarky, mean-spirited posts I've seen just in the couple of days I've been back on here. Yeah, I'm looking at you @outsideMatchinside. What a mean post, totally unnecessary. I think it's a shame that those of us who have endured being the butt of so many insensitve people all our lives because of our weight come here to look for comrades and get this nonsense instead. Didn't your years of struggling with your weight make you at all empathic to others? I don't really care if this angers some of you, I suspect that the worst offenders on here will be the most offended. I stand by my comments and I am sure that there are others on here or who like the OP in this thread, flee after getting so much "advice."

Yeah, jeez, samathajo, posting about being single and looking for other singles in a forum called "singles forum," how ridiculous.

Dave, I think one of the best messages to send a woman is one that picks up on a topic that they mention in their profile and asks a question about it. E.g., "I see you are a music lover, too, are you going to Lollapalooza this year." Something like that. It shows that you actually read their profile (which most guys simply don't, they are responding to pics), that you have something in common andyou're giving her something specific to respond to. A lot of the message I get just say "hi." Not the best conversation starter. We women do get flooded with loads of messages, the majorityof which fall into the "hi," or "I really like you're X (fill in body part here.)" It's not hard to stand out, in a good way, from those!

Ha! I love this! You are totally right about seeing the same people. I'm onto my 4th dating site after a hiatus and it's depressing to see many of the same faces. Maybe there's a parallel with the sleeve and online dating, you have to fail a lot before you succeed! Congrats to you and the hubby for finding one another

The two hardest things for me are: 1. I can't eat more than about 1,000 a day or I start gaining and that's even with regular exercise. I have seen 3 different nutritionists and they were surprised, but that is indeed the case. The only carbs I ingest are eitherr in the form of fruits, veggies or beer (yes, beer, see my other post!). I don't eat bread, I don't eat Pasta, I don't eat rice, I don't eat processed foods any kind. I don't eat any sweets except fruits and that's pretty much just in the summer when they are ripe--I do eat a lot of waterrmelon, it does have quite a bit of sugar, but also lots of Fiber so it's considered low glycemic and is 50 calories in a cup. I pretty much stick to lean proteins--most fish. I eat one of those giant bags of spinach from costco every week, I saute it so that I can eat a larger portion, raw it's too bulky. One of the realities of losing weight after being heavy most of your adult life (whether you lose with a sleeve or WW or anything) is that for some of us, your metabolism may not be your friend. I've had my tested pre and post surgery and despite all the exercise, my metabollic rate went down after surgery and has stayed down. Being restricted to such few calories can make life difficult. I was downed with foot surgery for several months and the pounds just started rolling in. I"m back at the exercise now, but I have accepted the reality that I have to exercise every day to maintain my weight loss. Number 2: I'm with the OP with the liquids. I still cannot drink and eat in the same space of time. I can have a little sip, but that's about it. I have my beer for dessert! I have no regrets, I'd do the surgery all over again and would recommend it to anyone.

Sorry, Dr-Patient, but I respectfully and completely disagree with your assertion that the comments made to me in response to my post were "fine." This is a forum for people who have all gone through a similar procedure, for discussions of pre-, during and post-surgical issues, this is NOT a site to request or receive a medical or psychological diagnoses. I don't know if you are any of the others posters on this forum are licensed physicians, but whether you are or are not, it is completely inappropriate to "diagnose" people based on forum posts. Moreoever, I specifically stated that I was looking for support and commiseration. I've noticed that many of the veterans on this site are fond of dispensing pseudo-medical advice. The purpose of a forum like this, in my humble opinion, is to share experiences, provide support, and yes, give advice, but not of the arm-chair medical variety--that is not of much help to anyone and most likely is inaccurate or possible even dangerous. We all have loads of doctors and nutritionists we can call on to render such advice, let's be here as humans for one another who have all gone through and continue to go through a tough and challenging procedure! I'm sure this post will alienate many of you, but after reading through so many posts that are of the ilk I received, I feel it's something that needed to be said.

Ha! Lots of them, you'd be surprised. The main culprits are big stouts, some aged in bourbon barrels, that have a lot of residual sugar and hence a lot of calories. And we're talking about 12 oz bottles. They're delicious though!

It's funny, I still cannot really eat much salad, the bulk still does not work with my stomach. I do eat veggies, regularly, mostly cooked broccoli, asparagus and cauliflower, but rarely a salad. My recent discovery in terms of something bulky/low cal and satisfying is watermelon. Despite the sugar, it is considered a low-glycemic food because of the high Fiber content. It's 50 calories a cup, has loads of anti-oxidants, is very filling and is yummy!

I do agree with you to some extent, you DON'T have to go to the gym to work out. Walking is terrific, I did a ton of it after my surgery, it really helped me get rid of all that darn air trapped in my tissues, ugh, and I walk at least 5 miles every day. Plus, there's lots of other things you can do outside the gym besides walking-- planks are one of the best things you can do to strenthen your core. Push ups, crunches, squats, lunges--all can be done in the comfort of your living room with no equipment whatsoever. BUT, sometimes, going to the gym, trying a new class--kickboxing, hot yoga,--whatever the thing of the moment is, can help motivate you or get you out of a rut! So, there's my wishy-washy answer

Hello, thanks for the message and I'm sorry to hear that you are in the same boat! It is kind of crazy how fast the weight can come back on. There's no question that formerly overweight people will always have to be vigilant with the calories much more so than their same weight counterparts who have never been heavy. Getting married is a huge life change. I know that for me when I married my now ex husband, we were not great influences on one another. Part of our "nesting" was cooking and eating a lot and not working out much! As far as your comments about the gym/cycling/spinning, this is what I can offer you: start small. Every gym has stationary bikes, I would suggest starting with that. Most of them are programmable, you can push yourself as much as you're ready to. Spinning is a great way to burn a huge number of calories, the classes are usually fun because there's good music and there's definitely a sense of group commradarie, BUT, I did spinning when I was in very good shape and it is very challenging. I don't think that's a good place to start if you haven't been working out much for some time. Once you've gotten to the point where you can do a good work out on the stationary bike, you might even just try cycling on a spin bike on your own. They are more like racing bikes in terms of the seat and the pedals. Most gyms have one or two mixed in with the other bikes or you might even be able to go into the spin room when there's no class. And I totally hear you on the cost of food! I started my own business and have to really watch the expenditures these days. I eat a lot of canned tuna and sardines!

I guess I need to make this clear, the surgery I had had nothing at all to do with the fact that I run, I have had a myriad of foot troubles since childhood including a congenital deformity that has caused me no end of misery. When I was pre and post surgery, I really couldn't do anything, walking, biking, swimming, yoga, pilates, anything, so that is a lof of what contributed to my weight gain. Running seems to get such a bad rap. I love running for a host of reasons, it's not just that it is one of the best ways to burn calories, but it requires no special equipment, you can do it pretty much anywhere or any time you'd like and it really does let you just zone out/get into the zone (your choice!) in a way that not many other things do. I think people criticize running as "injury inducing" out of habit, I actually think that my years of running helped me avoid injuries because it is a fantastic way to strengthen not only big muscles like quads, but all those little muscles in an around the ankles. Running has never been my only form of exercise, but it is one of my favorite forms. Yeah, I have a bike, but I live in a very high density/high traffic area so riding it is not that much fun, you spend the whole time worrying about cars. The trails near Chicago are very dangerous for women, unfortunately and even so, you'd have to pack your bike onto the car and drive some distance to get to one. I'm back to running again and to yoga and to pilates and to doing my usual 5 miles a day of walking (I'm a fanatical fitbit tracker!). The point of my post was to say how hard it is to start again, especially with the additional pounds, but I appreciate your response nonetheless!

Yeah, it is interesting that it is hard to work up the momentum and excitment. I had gotten myself in good enough shape to run a very grueling relay marathon where I ran 19.5 miles. It's hard now to kind of start all over again. I did occassionally go to water aerobics, I know a lof of people poo-poo it as an "old lady" workout, but if you actually push yourself, it is a very strenous hour! Thanks for the response!

I do thank you for the response and sorry if my post seemed a bit snappish. I am just dealing with the frustration that accompanies realizing that I created a new food crutch for myself, albeit a liquid one. I love my craft beer an often joke that I wish I could subtract the alchol from it! It is hard to give it up becaue it is the only tasty treat I really have in my diet. After surgery, things that I used to love and overeat like ice cream or big plates of Pasta with rich sauces are just not an option, my much smaller tummy just does not like them. The beer being liquid is easier to accomodate. I know that the calories make it something that should be a once in a while treat, it's just hard to give up having a treat at all! That is I think the hardest reality of life post surgery--you cannot look to food OR drink for comfort or reward, it's just not an option as a former/current overweight person. I do appreciate your message.

Thank you for this post. I am nearly 3 years post-op and have experienced weight gain (just posted myself about it!) and didn't really consider the menopause aspect. Funny enough, it turned out one of my last regular periods was the day of my sleeve surgery. I was told to expect irregular periods post-op, so I didn't really think much of it until I was over two years out and had only had a handful of periods. I haven't had the blood tests to confirm it, but I'm guessing that I am well into it at this point. I have noticed that the weight gain has not been in the areas that have histocially been my problem areas--thighs and butt. I have always been an hourglass, but the new weight seems to be all in the belly and love handles, never something I had before. Thank you nature!

Yes, you are so right! And you are much smarter than me as far as nipping the weight slide in the bud. I was so down with the pain and surgery, that I kind of just let it slide that all of a sudden my pants were too tight! It's much easier to battle back 10 lbs than 40, but better 40 than 80! Surgery is really, really tough. It's amazing how much it takes out of you and what a toll even just a week or so of being immobile takes on your body.

Thanks! I think you are right on with the food diary. I used one for the first year and I should definitely get back to it. As I said in my OP, the issue with the beer is really the calories and I have to start taking those into account!

Thanks! Now that I"ve had the surgery on my foot, things are really fine. Unfortunately, I live in the flatlands of the midwest so hill walking is not an option! I'm working in the arc trainer and spinning to try to get an intensity level equal to running, thought that's hard! I am totally on board with the "protien first" approach and have consistently stuck with that since my surgery.

Hmm, well, I'm not sure why you assume that someone who drinks is an alcoholic. I'm fairly certain and confident that I am not, so AA would not really be much help. As for therapy, sure, I've been in therapy my entire adult life. I'm a big fan of therapy, but again, as I said in my OP, I know what I should do, but doing it is tough, I'm looking for others in the same boat, not for people who want to pathologize what is simply the human experience!

Ba zing! You look great, love the dress!

You look great!

Wow! You look terrific, great abs! Really can tell you've been hitting the gym. Congrats!

While a little more $$$ than Old Navy, Title Nine has really cool work out clothing. They only have a few bricks and mortar stores, but a good site with regular sales. The Prana stuff runs very small, but the Title Nine brand is pretty forgiving. I'm a size 10/12 now and easily fit into lots of medium or larges, most of their stuff goes up to XL which would be like a 16. They have great running stuff, yoga stuff and I love their swim suits. I'm a runner and they have the best running bras, bar none. It's not only cute stuff, it's very good quality, much better than the Old Navy stuff that tends to fall apart or look ratty after a few washes. I get tons of compliments when I wear their stuff to the gym. Lucy also has nice stuff, a bit more plain, but their "perfect pants" are really great and very flattering.