Reputation from LumpySpacePrincess

LumpySpacePrincess got a reaction from ambernshearer in Unsupportive Family Member Rant. June 14, 2020

Your mother's comments sound like my mother's before my surgery. My mother has never had addiction problems, so I can't relate to that. But yeah, my mom told me I just needed to apply myself, work harder, etc. She was actually really pissed about it for awhile; I even sensed that she was disappointed in me.
Since my surgery she has been very supportive. I think she knew it was the right thing for me to do, since I've been overweight since I was 8, but she was scared of something happening. She told me stories about people she heard about that had died because they couldn't stop losing weight. It was terribly invalidating, but once I realized that she was scared it made more sense.
I also think a lot of mothers take this sort of thing as a failure in their parenting, that they couldn't help their children with something like this.
Maybe this will help you and a lot of people understand about these situations. There is a form of therapy called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), that has what's called the ABC theory. A: an event happens; B: we have a belief about the event; C: we have an emotional reaction to the belief. So in this case A: your mom was told you were having surgery; B: she believes "I don't want my daughter to be harmed; that would be unbearable"; C: she feels anxious about you being harmed.
This is a great way to analyze the reactions of others because it allows us to take a step back and realize that its not the event or a person people are reacting to, its the belief about that even or person. Best thing to do is just validate her concerns by saying "I totally understand how you could feel that way. I agree this is potentially dangerous." Keep validating and eventually people stop feeling defensive and will open up more and hopefully become more accepting.

LumpySpacePrincess got a reaction from ProudGrammy in Does having a baby ruin your sleeve and weight loss? October 20, 2017

I had to sign a form stating that I agreed to not intentionally get pregnant for a minimum of 2 years after the surgery.
That said, no, your sleeve will not stop working as long as you don't increase your portions. The amount we should eat at 2 years post-op is more than sufficient to support a fetus. I would also add that while pregnant you shouldn't change your diet up much. Pregnancy cravings might get to you, but if you indulge too much you probably will gain back a lot of weight.

LumpySpacePrincess got a reaction from Malina in What is your advice? July 10, 2017

My best advice to everyone is to find a good therapist, not just for eating issues, but someone you can talk to when your emotions go haywire, when relationships change, and your mindset about so many things changes. I can't stress enough how important it is to take care of your emotional self as well as your physical self while losing this weight. None of us got to where we are because we have healthy food behavior, and its important for success to address this as early on as possible.
My other advice is to always under-eat your sleeve! You will have better restriction at 6 months, 10 months, a year out if you do this. The reason many people feel they can eat more after 6 months is because they have been eating to capacity, which causes the stomach muscles to relax to allow more food in at a time. The stomach is a muscle and it will do what you tell it to do, so if you're always eating to the point that you're full, it will remember that and adjust itself so you can eat more without pain next time. This will become more important around the second month when solid food suddenly start going down a lot easier.
Lastly, do not put moral labels on food. Do not label food as something you can't have. When you do this, you give the food power over you in a very real way. A lot of people talk about "eating clean", so then what happens if you eat something that's not "clean?" Does that make you dirty? You may not think so on a conscious level, but subconsciously these thoughts can run rampant and derail your progress with thoughts of "I'm a failure." I see that so much on here! Make your weight loss about forever food, not diet food!

LumpySpacePrincess got a reaction from GBLady41 in How to forgive someone? April 10, 2017

I have a very emotionally abusive, controlling ex-husband. His abuse was one of the reasons I let my binge eating disorder run rampant until I was well over 300 pounds. He would call me up and yell at me, telling me I was the reason he was late to work because I asked him a question before he left (nevermind that he'd left an hour late to begin with), or yelled at me that I was hiding the things he was looking for or throwing them away (I wasn't). After awhile, I started to realize all the insults and abuse he was throwing at me wasn't even about me, it was about how he felt he was so fragile he couldn't take responsibility for anything he did or his entire self concept would crumble into nothing.
I thought about this for a long time, and thought about how utterly miserable he must be within himself for him to lash out at others like that. Then I just felt sad for him, that he has to walk through life with the burden of such misery, how every day must be so difficult to walk around seething with such anger and hurt and depression.
Forgiveness for him wasn't an instant action. It took a long time after my realizations to really forgive him. It came in bits and pieces, and yes there were even times I took forgiveness back. After all, my emotions about the situation were still valid, and I was allowed to have them. The difference was I no longer allowed my feelings about my past to dictate how I lived in the future. To me, not forgiving him would have been like carrying around a daily reminder of his abuse for the rest of my life.
Think about it like this: carrying around negative emotions towards others is like putting a potato in your coat pocket. At first its hard and smooth and you don't mind sharing space with it. But what happens when its been there for a few months? It starts to grow eyes and take up more space, then it gets soft and starts to smell. As it continues to rot, it turns to mush and has now permeated the fabric of your coat, soaking through the layers and ruining everything around it. You want to stick your hand in your pocket to get warm but all you feel is stinky mush.
Throw the potato away before it turns to mush and you'll be much happier.

LumpySpacePrincess got a reaction from GBLady41 in How to forgive someone? April 10, 2017

I have a very emotionally abusive, controlling ex-husband. His abuse was one of the reasons I let my binge eating disorder run rampant until I was well over 300 pounds. He would call me up and yell at me, telling me I was the reason he was late to work because I asked him a question before he left (nevermind that he'd left an hour late to begin with), or yelled at me that I was hiding the things he was looking for or throwing them away (I wasn't). After awhile, I started to realize all the insults and abuse he was throwing at me wasn't even about me, it was about how he felt he was so fragile he couldn't take responsibility for anything he did or his entire self concept would crumble into nothing.
I thought about this for a long time, and thought about how utterly miserable he must be within himself for him to lash out at others like that. Then I just felt sad for him, that he has to walk through life with the burden of such misery, how every day must be so difficult to walk around seething with such anger and hurt and depression.
Forgiveness for him wasn't an instant action. It took a long time after my realizations to really forgive him. It came in bits and pieces, and yes there were even times I took forgiveness back. After all, my emotions about the situation were still valid, and I was allowed to have them. The difference was I no longer allowed my feelings about my past to dictate how I lived in the future. To me, not forgiving him would have been like carrying around a daily reminder of his abuse for the rest of my life.
Think about it like this: carrying around negative emotions towards others is like putting a potato in your coat pocket. At first its hard and smooth and you don't mind sharing space with it. But what happens when its been there for a few months? It starts to grow eyes and take up more space, then it gets soft and starts to smell. As it continues to rot, it turns to mush and has now permeated the fabric of your coat, soaking through the layers and ruining everything around it. You want to stick your hand in your pocket to get warm but all you feel is stinky mush.
Throw the potato away before it turns to mush and you'll be much happier.

LumpySpacePrincess got a reaction from Icantbelieveit in Before WLS and After CTT! September 11, 2016

I had WLS in 2013 and lost almost 170 pounds in 10 months. This year, I decided it was my year to finally get my flaps removed. What a difference!!! I hope everyone can see the attachment.
My surgeon was excellent, very caring, and most importantly very experienced and knowledgeable about what he does. Couldn't be happier!