Canary Diamond

Hmmmm.... it plays when I click it. Or you could click on the link and watch it on YouTube.

My dog has never been happier. And his farts have never been smellier...

Love it, baby! I also cannot express my glee at your use of the word "righteous"!

But what if our dreams are reality and it's our waking life that is the dream? If that's the case, then not only am I back at my highest weight, my teeth have fallen out more times than I can count. And I should really put some clothes on before that algebra test starts.

I believe it's actually tuned to detect high levels of estrogen coupled with heat and moisture sensitivity. :-)

You nasty! Let's hear more....

Why, you offering, Doogie Howser?

"And how the hell is it that men KNOW when you're feeling like this?"

We have radar in our pants.

Bluto - "stroke" detectors?

Loved this! I'm definitely feeling more sexual myself, even though I'm just over 2 weeks post op. Poor hubby!

CorvetteGirl - That's when it started for me too! And I would say your hubby is all the richer for it...

Lmao loved your post and god bless!!!! I have been fortunate to always be healthy in that dept even as fatty fat! Maybe because i have a lover and am not single. But my performance has shot up a hundred percent as my confidence. No Im not super toned working on that goal, but every time Im with him I know in my head Im smaller than I was last time and it does something to your head. Its almost empowering! Im getting older and thought things were supposed to slow down, but I feel my drive is worse then when I was in my 20s which is awesome for me. I agree with the others if your in a small town invest in some good toys, or go to clubs in a town where noone knows who you are and get your freak on! Have fun on your quest be careful and enjoy!!!

Belladonna - First of all, I doubt god wants anything to do with this. Secondly, I would say your libido is BETTER than it was in your 20s (don't you know that's why they call it the "dirty thirties"? lol). I think your theory is dead on - a woman's biggest erogenous zone is her mind, after all.

Lol! I enjoyed reading that! Too funny...I have to agree with Arts127, you write really well. Good luck with your libido and buy yourself some fun toys until you find someone to satisfy your turbo charged cravings

Curvy - I have more toys than you could shake a veiny, engorged stick at. I used to sell them at Passion Parties to groups of tittering housewives and now they're all in a box....somewhere, where they've sat for the last 5 years. You see, aside from the fact that they've undoubtedly melted into one motley pink and purple blob of silicone and latex, at some point during my product testing (I couldn't in good conscience hawk unfamiliar wares) I came to the conclusion that there really is no substitute for the genuine article. Plus, using edible body paints by yourself is downright depressing.

You write well. Fun to read. Stay away from statues (I mean that's what showers are for).

Thank you, Artsy Fartsy, I will heed your advice. However, I may need to invest in a new shower head soon.

Thank you, Annie. What a nice compliment

Thank you for doing this! There are some that have to do with diet that I've come across...when people refer to eating a certain (acronym) way. Still haven't figured out what those mean.

Thanks, Sassy! I've heard a couple different things: Liquids go through you faster and take the food with them when the exit the stomach, thus allowing you to consume more without feeling full (as you mentioned), but the other theory I heard was that they have the potential of over-expanding the stomach, stretching it out faster and enabling you to consume greater quantities earlier in your recovery than your normally would.

I've had difficulty finding medical explanations supporting either theory, I'm assuming since our procedure is relatively new.

As someone who recently spent 4 months in a residential treatment center for eating disorders, and seeing women of all sizes struggle immensely with self-esteem, I can certainly vouch for the skinny does not = happy line. I quit binge eating, I quit drinking, I quit teaching for the public school system, I started taking classes to become a nurse practitioner, I adopted the best dog in the world. I'm happy for the first time in my adult life. This is difficult for some people to believe (e.g., my mother) because I'm still obese. The weight loss will just be an added bonus.

Thank you for this. 5 stars!

Wow - all good stuff! Really like your morning smoothie recipe - stealing it. I hadn't heard about the restriction being more obvious with solid foods. I'm still on liquids and sharing many of your previous fears. As for your trick with the denim capris, perhaps if you lie about something and they catch fire?

Thank you for doing this, Lynda! At some point could you please address why it's important to not consume liquids and solids at the same time?

Keep up the great work!

I need some clarification: Are you in a hurry to get rid of the clothes because you want them gone or because you're afraid of your husband's reaction?

And forget going to the Goodwill, I'm pretty sure you could open one of your own!

Hey, maggie914, and thanks for reading! My first suggestion to you is something you already seem to be on top of - working with a counselor or therapist, esp. someone who understands the added complications your FB brings to the table (no pun intended), and CONTINUE seeing this person on a regular basis after your surgery.This is when the big stuff is going to come up - when you can't eat your feelings anymore - and you'll benefit from having someone who can help you monitor your emotions without judgment.

I've been on Wellbutrin for 13 years and, after my pre-op break from all meds, starting taking it again 3 days post-op with no issues whatsoever. Of course, this doesn't speak for all anti-depressants or mood stabilizers, but mine never caused me tummy problems before surgery either.

Secondly, talk to your doctor. And by that I mean your bariatric surgeon, not just your PCP. Explain your fears, anxieties, concerns, and stress-level. I'm sure this is something s/he deals with all the time and will be able to offer advice or perhaps even suggestions for meds. If you don't find the surgeon to be helpful or understanding (sometimes even the most brilliant surgeons have a crappy bedside manner), talk to his/her nurse. The nurse for the local bariatric surgeon (who did not even perform my surgery) has been extremely helpful to me.

Hope this helps, and keep me posted!

This would have worked as well considering the typical teenager. Actually it works on most adults too.

(FA = Future of America, M = Ms Diamond):

FA: Ms. Diamond, How was your surgery?

M: (pointing randomly) Look something shiny!

FA: Huh? Where?

True dat!

You're welcome, Bluto! Hey, cool fact - the fictional frat in Animal House was based on my father's chapter (Zeta Xi) at Dartmouth! Should I be proud of that?

joatsaint - thanks for the singalong! I really hope you're one of my YouTube subscribers....I can tell you will leave awesome comments

libearzmom - come to the daaaaaaarrrrrk side... thank you for the congrats. I named him Bob. Because that's what he loved to do *sniffle*

OK so here's what I went with (FA = Future of America, M = Me):

FA: Ms. Diamond, how was your surgery?

M: I'm feeling fine, thank you!

FA: What did you have surgery on?

M: Oh, I had some things removed. It's kinda gross and you don't want to know about it.

FA: OK. (pause) What did you have removed? Your eyeballs? Can you see us? Are those fake eyeballs? Yeah, I think one's falling out!

M: No.

FA: But really, what did you have removed?

M: My testicles

That shut 'em up.

Thank you everyone for your helpful advice. Except you, Arts137. Smartass. I'm only with these kiddos for another week (I don't teach with the regular school district anymore), so chances are they won't see any big changes. Also, it's entirely possible they're too wrapped in their ultra-meaningful little lives to even remember to ask me about it.

Why thank you, Teresa! Your expectations of me are clearly too high.