Margie122

Thank you for your post. So glad you checked in with us and updated us on what's going on. Every day without any fanfare or kudos, people do for each other out of love and respect and that's what I've gotten out of your post. Obviously mom did something right to have raised such a wonderful daughter who can manage both mom's care and not falter in managing her own life.

I am so glad you reached out. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I definately know how stressful that can be having been at my Mother's side for several years before she finally passed at 67 years old.
Unfortunately I was at my heaviest so i am glad you are near or at your goal and still maintains through all of this. Taking care of your parents seems so much harder than taking care of your children.
Please take some time for yourself and go to your meetings if they help you. We are always here as well.
Take care and keep us posted.

Bless you. Taking care of parents is an honor. I was lucky to do so with both... dad left us last year after years of being bedbound at home and his mind deteriorating.
That said. It is draining and emotional Glad you have some health started on your side, just remember you!! '
Hydrate. Walk. Counselor... massage. Whatever helps you to be present!
Please let us know how you and your nursing skills fare.

So sorry that you are going thru so much stress. I personally know all about this. My mom passed away 12 years ago from Lung Cancer. We didn't know she had Cancer until she was down. We had moved to Idaho to take care of my Mother in Law. My A** HAT Step GUY (because he doesn't deserve to be called a DAD) told my sweet Mother that it was time she let me go take care of my Mother in Law. My mom had just been diagnosed with her Cancer. Needless to say, I rushed back to take care of her. She ended up dying in a Hospital because I did NOT know that you can give them extra medication for the pain. My Mother in Law became worse and just gave up....the difference is we had HOSPICE and learned so much about how you CAN give them extra pain meds. Do whatever it takes to make them comfortable. Now knowing all of this, I hope and pray that my family uses HOSPICE also. That is a wonderful program. If and when you get to that point please please check into it. Hang tough but....don't forget to take care of YOU!!!

God bless you for what you are doing for your mother. She is probably recovering well due to your interest and care! Many of us women have been in that caregiver position, and while it's difficult at the time, you will never regret the days you had/have caring for her.

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

It's been a long time since I've been on bariatricpal.com and I've missed it. My life changed drastically on 6/20/2016 when my mother had a large right sided hemorrhagic stroke. My life was the hospital ICU, acute rehab hospital and finally the subacute rehab. She didn't come home until the end of September and then had a setback where her vitals were so low she had to be readmitted to the hospital for 3 days and then do another week at the subacute rehab. She finally came home on 10/2. My stress levels haven't gotten any better since her coming home. I'm thrilled she is home, but she cannot be left alone. This means we have a home health aide for 11 hours a day, from 6AM to 5PM....while I am at work. Medicare and her private health insurance pay for none of it. We've had to modify the house, and stairlifts are also not covered.
Luckily mom is a fighter and just turned 67. She had the gastric sleeve in March and thank goodness she lost weight because her stroke recovery would be so much harder for her and me. I like to say she is full of piss and vinegar. She is DETERMINED to walk again and I know she will do it. Unfortunately she's very impatient and I have to remind her of her "gains" even though they may be small, every day. She's done SO WELL since June it really is amazing. In the life of a stroke 4 months isn't a lot and there is so much she can do on her own that I'm amazed.
As for me - I had my gastric sleeve surgery in August of 2015. I am SO THANKFUL I did because if I was 295lbs there is no way I would have survived the last four months. I would not have had the stamina or the strength. Weekdays I am up at 5AM and out the door at 6. When I get home I am constantly running around, up and down stairs, etc....trying to get laundry done in between a million other things. Transferring her from the wheelchair to the chair, or the chair to her bed is also serious exercise. On top of it I decided to go back and pursue my bachelors degree. I must be crazy! I had signed up before she had the stroke and I only have 11 classes to get my degree. Luckily I was able to switch to online courses and have already completed one. I had homework due by 11:59PM and it just happened to be on the night she was taken to the ER and I actually logged on from the "cubby" we were in while she was resting. I kid you not, less then 3 feet away from me in the other "cubby" a guy was getting a rectal exam. All that separated me from them was the curtain. I guess you do what you have to do! I submitted the last assignment at 11:45PM. She finally went up to a room around 12:30.
My weight has been semi-stable during this time. At first I couldn't eat....just couldn't hold anything down. Then I wanted everything that was bad for me. Then I realized that wasn't making me feel any better so I had better stop. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much existed on Decaf iced coffee, egg & cheese on english muffin from Dunkin Donuts, and Protein bars. I know it's not the greatest but it was all I could muster. I was getting up at 5AM and not getting home some nights until 10...and I still had stuff to get done at home.
Right now I'm 175. People say I'm thin enough. I have some loose skin on my stomach but it's no so terrible that I can't hide it and I have some loose skin on my thighs and upper arms. It's not enough to make me NOT wear a bathing suit or a sleeveless shirt. I feel good, and clothes fit well. I would like to get down to 165 but if that doesn't happen that's ok too. I'm comfortable where I am. I know if I had skin removal surgery it would probably get me there or close to it. That's probably not in the cards for me right now. Don't know if it will ever be.

I see my PCP next Tuesday. I am also going to see a therapist next Wednesday. I had to ask my PCP for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I have cried every day since 6/20, sometimes several times a day. I know that's not healthy. I'm taking an anti-depressant, but I've only been on it since 10/25...and it takes about a month to come up to it's full effect. I hope it helps. I'm also taking .5mg of clonazepam for the anxiety in the morning and at bedtime. It's not a lot, but it's enough to keep me steady. I hate having to take those medications, but I need them right now. Some day I won't hopefully.
I know this is a long post - if you made it this far thanks! The one thing I need to make time for again is my monthly meeting at my bariatric center. I have only been to one meeting and that was in October. It was a celebration of everyone who had done well and had surgery the year before. I wore a lovely black dress and "big girl" shoes. I felt wonderful. I need to make the time to get back to my meetings because they are important and they keep me grounded. I'll figure out a way.
Margie

@@Christinamo7 I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your dad. You said ... "I just do not really "want to" anything - and that is probably normal right now." I feel the same way. I have been dealing with a health issue for my mom and I don't want to do anything either. I feel dull. I feel flat. I cry every day. On 6/20 I came home to find her on the floor in the midst of a stroke. I could have lost her. Right now she is in Rehab and has a very long recovery ahead of her. I don't even want to imagine if it had been worse. I am really just so sorry for your loss......I hope that you are able to stay healthy and be comforted by the friends and family that surround you.

For the past few weeks I have been hovering in the low 200's with the exception of a week where I got sick and ended up gaining weight. On Monday 12/21 I was 200.2 lbs....
I'm so close to Onederland - but my period is due on 12/26 and my weight is up to 201.8 today. I'm following the program, and I know this is temporary, but my goal was to be be under 200 by New Years.
It can still be done...it's just SOOOOO CLOSE. I haven't weighed this low since high school. In fact, I can't ever remember being this low as an adult. I remember being in the 220's and thinking how big I was....I never imagined getting up to 295.
I know it's strange, but seeing the "1" as the first number just holds a lot of meaning for me. Really, I don't think physically I will feel any differently at 199 than I did at 200.2 but MENTALLY it means everything.

Thanks for listening & Merry Christmas!

STUPID QUESTION - if you join a "CLOSED" Facebook group - does it show up on your facebook page that you are a member?

I am encouraged that you have managed to keep the bulk of your weight off for so long. I'm also encouraged that when you recognized the gain you were able to start taking it off again. Congrats on getting back on the wagon!

I know how you feel. I lost a pretty decent amount of weight before my surgery and purposely started eating differently months in advance of my surgery. Mostly everyone at work has been awesome. There is one woman though, who is DYING to know EVERY LITTLE DETAIL and it's just the way she asks. It's so annoying. She was walking in front of me one day and turned around twice to look at me. She sits across from me. She turned around and said, "Hey you've lost weight" to which I replied "Yes I have." She then said "You've lost AT LEAST 20lbs". (I had lost over 80 at that point but I did not correct her). I said "Yes I have thanks". She repeated it again....AT LEAST 20lbs!
What is irritating is that I have openly told many people here about my weight loss. They didn't make me feel like an asshat and asked appropriate questions. They let me give them information. I know she knows I had surgery, but she won't ask.
The other day she came over to my cubicle and told me about her GIGANTIC nephew and his GIGANTIC wife who were both having that weight loss surgery. I just nodded and said how great that was for their health. She repeated how GIGANTIC they both were. She then came out and asked me how much weight I have lost. I told her "a lot".
I have to work with her only 1 day a week in the office - THANK GOODNESS. I don't think I could take much more. I sympathize with what you are going through.

You look amazing!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Wonderland is an amazing feeling. You have done soooooo well! You should be very proud.

@@Christinamo7 I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your dad. You said ... "I just do not really "want to" anything - and that is probably normal right now." I feel the same way. I have been dealing with a health issue for my mom and I don't want to do anything either. I feel dull. I feel flat. I cry every day. On 6/20 I came home to find her on the floor in the midst of a stroke. I could have lost her. Right now she is in Rehab and has a very long recovery ahead of her. I don't even want to imagine if it had been worse. I am really just so sorry for your loss......I hope that you are able to stay healthy and be comforted by the friends and family that surround you.

Hi - do you have an OBGYN that you are being followed by for the heavy periods? I too suffered from heavy periods and was anemic, but nothing like what you are going through. I'm sorry this is happening to you. There have got to be some options for you I would think. Be an advocate for yourself and see what is available and what might work for you...I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Inner Surfer Girl - thank you for your kind words. Yes being as healthy as possible will benefit the both of us. That is what is keeping me going. I have little to no interest in food but I know I have to eat to stay healthy. I'm still wearing my fitbit and trying to get my 10,000 steps in a day. Some days I do really well and others not so much. When I'm at the hospital I want to be by her side and that doesn't equate to a lot of steps at times.
My NUT from my bariatric program has been great. He has been very helpful with suggesting certain readings that might comfort me and reminding me to take care of myself. My mother's bariatric surgeon has been great too - she called me to tell me how sorry she was to hear about my mom and said she would be more than happy to call the NUT at the rehab to discuss her dietary needs.
It is a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining. The flowers are amazingly bright. But I feel dull. I will get outside for a bit before I go to see her at the hospital. I'm going to a friends house for a few hours today for a cookout. Honestly I don't want to go, but it will be good for me to do it.

I am so sorry that you and your mom are having to go through this but I am so glad to hear that you aren't letting it overwhelm you and sabotage your eating. It really sounds like your mom is very lucky to have your presence and capability. Being as healthy as possible will benefit both of you in this extremely stressful time.
I am definitely sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Peeps,
I hope you don't mind, but for the next 9 weeks I'm going to use this post as an accountability post. I need your help. My one year "surgiversary" is coming up in 9 weeks on 8/17. I have been stalling at around 187-189 for a while now. Prior to that I was stuck in the low 190's and I did a 5 day rest. My original goal was 165. I am keeping that as my stretch goal but right now my goal is 175 by 8/17.
I am asking my bariatricpal friends for help. I know that ultimately the goal is my own, and only I can do it, but any advice, etc. from people who have been there, done that, or even newer peeps who are working it would be appreciated!
I have struggled before and coming to these boards for support has been a huge help.
Thanks in advance!
Margie

I was on the bus home the other day and when we passed the high school I saw that they had a sign for Bay Path University. I've been wanting to go back to school and get my Bachelors (I have my Associate Degree) so I looked it up. They have a campus at the high school for their "One Day A Week" college. I talked to one of the Admission's peeps today and I filled out the online application. I even completed the financial aid paperwork, but I know I won't qualify. Luckily my work will reimburse me up to $6,000 a year for classes (as long as I get a "C" or better). The school even has a "deferred payment" program knowing that most jobs won't pay until after you get your grades.
I'm going to start in September. I'm excited. I haven't been this excited since finding out my surgery was approved.