CharmingTortoise

I'm so jealous, I'm in 18's right now and can't wait to get in to 16's. Congratulations on your voluptuous hips!?!

I am by far no expert on anything , but you bring up alot of legit questions , and your not alone. But one thing I have learned in my life is if you dont or cant love yourself , how do you expect someome else too? Example a decent man. Your scheduled for surgery so thats a major plus , you will be given a chance to improve yourself in many ways , take the opportunity and run with it!!! Dont waste it with thoughts of self sabatoge, you are worth this and you can do this!! Take it from a self sabbatoger im trying my hardest to get out of it , I am my own worst enemy. I am going to try to change my whole being with this surgery my thoughts my eating habbits , everything. For once I want to be a winner. If you ever need to talk I m around feel free.

I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.
I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?
Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.