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deedeemuffin

Gastric Sleeve Patients
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Everything posted by deedeemuffin

  1. deedeemuffin

    Totally Off The Wagon

    Happy,Thank you so much for your response. One of the most anxiety producing areas in my life is trying to go back to school. This past semester I decided to take classes at a state school that supports adults returning to school & allows you to do all your classes through independent study at home. The main reason I chose this route was so I didn't have to face class rooms with their small arm chair desks or trying to huff & puff my way from one class to another. I think because my heart wasn't in what I was doing I did not complete all my work. I was given an extension until July 30th to finish my work. I haven't picked up a book in a month. I really want to go into the health care field...specifically Radiology Technology. I mustered up the courage to register for just 2 classes in the Fall that are prerequisites for the program at a "regular" school where I have to actually attend classes. I figured that maybe with my weight being down & continuing to go down that I might finally be in a position to go to school for what I actually want. I am 34 so I would be 37 or 38 when I graduate. I would also be going into a whole new career. I have so many fears that go far beyond teeny,tiny desks. Lately I have been thinking that I made a huge mistake & should withdraw from those 2 classes before the semester starts. The amount of stress, fear & anxiety that seems to come hand in hand with trying to get a degree has made me question if it is even worth it. I also have the mind set of "I fail everything I try". My self-esteem is in the toilet. You say that you surrounded yourself with friends. How did you manage that? I literally do not have even one friend. My weight has made me so self-conscious for so long that I withdrew from life until I was left with only my boyfriend & a couple family members who love & support me. Your post has made me think that I really NEED to go to school & get my degree. Maybe I don't have to be a failure at everything I do. Maybe this can be something that will help my self-esteem if I can complete it. Any other tips or suggestions? I already very much appreciate your response.
  2. deedeemuffin

    Totally Off The Wagon

    I also did a mindfulness journal as part of my pre-op. Maybe I will pick it up again. Thank you.
  3. deedeemuffin

    Totally Off The Wagon

    Thank you for posting & I would certainly welcome you keeping me in your prayers. I was raised as a Christian. God & I are a little out of touch right now. My 26 year old wonderful, loving baby brother died & I have not been able to come to terms with it. I don't understand why God would take him, but leave me. So, although I don't feel very connected to God at the moment you are welcome to pray for me.
  4. deedeemuffin

    Totally Off The Wagon

    I am sorry to hear of everything that you have been through. You are obviously an amazingly strong person. I have been through/am going through some other personal issues that I did not share. I am not using them or anything else as an excuse. Even if my life were "perfect" I might still be having this issue. I appreciate you sharing & your encouragement. I too struggle with low self-esteem. I also felt like I got a do over with my sleeve. I am afraid that maybe I have ruined it due to my behavior the past 2 weeks. You are probably right. I probably need to go back to square one...water & protein shakes. Although I very much feel like it I have not completely given up hope. I hope that I will be able to come back & share some progress with all of you in the weeks/months/years to come.
  5. deedeemuffin

    Totally Off The Wagon

    Laura, Thank you. I did read the book & of course am totally not thinking about it right now. Thanks for the reminder. I definitely need to go through it again. You are the best!
  6. deedeemuffin

    Will i loose my big girls?

    I am a little over 100 lbs down so far & my chest is like two deflated balloons. I went from a 52G to a 42DDD & still deflating. I am going to need a serious lift by the time this is all over.
  7. Feeling absolutely just stuck!

  8. deedeemuffin

    200lbs from goal / body issues

    I can very much relate to your struggle. I started with around 240 pounds to lose. Although I finally lost slightly more than 100 pounds I still regularly feel like I am so gross. I hate myself for letting my body get to that point. I struggle with the fact that I am already seeing significant loose skin. I feel like my body is just "deflating". The weight is coming from all the good parts first...butt, boobs, etc., but sticking to my belly & face. I feel like even when I'm at a healthy weight that I'm going to look just as gross, if not worse, with a tone of hanging skin. I don't say all this to discourage you, but to let you know that there are other people sharing in your struggle. This weight loss journey can be very emotional. The sleeve allows us to start taking off weight that we couldn't in the past. Some of us (I definitely mean me) used to use food as a coping mechanism. Now that we can't use food, our personal or emotional issues that we had pushed to the back burner start to boil over. I know that there is therapy, support groups & my surgeon's office has a psychiatrist on staff to help deal with patients post-op just as much as pre-op. They recognize that this is psychologically demanding & draining. I also have not taken advantage of these opportunities. I think about going to get some help often, but am too nervous. So, there are a couple things people in our situation can do. One is Celebrate any victory you can. 80+ pounds is awesome! The fact that you are continuing to do what you can to take care of yourself is wonderful. Realize that this is not a race. We will get to our goal in our own time. Some people fly right through other people (me again) slowly inch our way there. Let's try to keep on working towards what we know is ultimately better for us & stop beating ourselves up & nit picking at our perceived imperfections. Also, try to focus on some NSV. That can be key when we have so much to lose. Some for me have been fitting in a restaurant booth again, my car steering wheel doesn't dig into my stomach anymore, etc. Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts & feelings. I also have been struggling, but have been trying to put on my happy face. Your post has given me courage to share on the board here which I will do today. In the meantime hang in there sleeve sister!
  9. 7 months - 105 lbs (only 5 lbs this month, but that's okay!) And OF COURSE the pics! It's working. I'm working, We're all working! What a difference 105 lbs makes...not just in appearance, but how I feel! Aside from my trip to the hospital last night, I've been feeling awesome!
  10. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    Of course. It's actually right on my ticker underneath my signature if you look. My starting weight was 418. I am now at 313. I can't wait to get into the 200's. I'm not going to even worry about the 100's yet! There is people of all different starting weights here, though. You know when I look in the mirror I feel like I don't look any different now, but when I put the pictures side be side it was eye opening!
  11. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    Congratulations to you too! You're doing a great job yourself!! I hear you when it comes to still feeling like a newbie. I feel like I make rookie mistakes all the time...lol. I'm SO glad to see that you're doing so well too.
  12. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    I'm sure you will. The guys on here generally lose more quickly than the gals! Just stick to your plan & you will do great.
  13. Well, I am 7 months out & I spent 10 hours in the ER last night & this morning. I will be 7 months out on the 27th. I thought that I had this sleeved life under control! Well, I know we never stop learning and this definitely applies to the sleeve. I have been very good about getting in my required Protein & Water with a few missteps here & there. Yesterday I went to help my grandmother with her massive garden. I made myself a Protein shake worth 30g of protein & drank that before I left knowing the rigorous physical work that was ahead. I drank water before I got there. Water after about 2 hours of work & water another 2 hours later. That was not enough water! We can't chug down a 16 oz bottle like we used to. I wasn't feeling well, but decided to drive home. Within 5 minutes I had to pull over to vomit. I had to pull over 4 more times in a very short period of time. I think I had a guardian angel though. I was out in FARM country. Throwing up on a deserted stretch of road with only fields late on a Sunday night. A young man showed up within minutes. Thank God, because at that point I couldn't get off the ground. The whole experience was terrifying. I was disoriented, week & was just hard vomiting bile. I spent the night in the ER. Three IV bags of fluids & many drugs later I was released. I am on strict orders for physical rest, extra hydration & follow up with a couple Dr.s (PCP, Neuroligist, Obgyn) within the week. The ER Dr. wanted to do a cat scan, but we ran into a hiccup. My urine test came pack positive for pregnancy. My blood work was not definitive. So, no cat scan & I need to follow up in a week with my obgyn for a second urine & blood pregnancy screening. Now to any finger waggers, I am on the pill, take it every day at the same time, don't miss doses & haven't taken any antibiotics. So, every precaution has been taken. So, my lessons for today...drink more water than you think you need. The sleeve requires vigilant proactiveness in this area. Reaction is limited & too little too late. Also, for the women, even if you are back on the pill you might want to consider being a little more proactive in this area too. If my trip to the ER & story prevents even one person from exoeriencing what I did then it will be worth it. I will certainly be taking better EVEN BETTER care of myself now than I was. Stay well my fellow sleevers!
  14. deedeemuffin

    Before and After Pics

    You have done amazing! I can't believe how well you have done in 1 year. Congratulations. I would love to be down 140 in my first year too. I'll tell you Dr. Weiss knows his stuff. He might not be warm & fuzzy, but he's great at what he does & I love the team at Tristate!
  15. deedeemuffin

    Before and After Pics

    Just saw that you are a Patient of Dr. Weiss also. You have done amazing! I am down 105 with 100+ still to go. I am also 5'10" so your pictures are awesome inspiration for me to get to my goal. Thanks!
  16. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    That it does! Don't let the smile fool you. Living with the sleeve IS hard work, but worth it in the long run!
  17. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    It doesn't look like you need any advice from me. You seem to be doing an awesome job yourself! Congratulations. I am not even half way through my journey yet. The only advice I can give to anyone is just stick with it. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, but just get back on plan asap. I don't beat myself up when I have a slow month. I just follow my orders...get in my Protein, Water & activity. Everyone has different preferences as far as what works for them. I think consistency is key. Have faith in yourself & the process. It may not go exactly as we plan, but it does work. Keep up your awesome work!
  18. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    Thank you everyone! I'm feeling good & ready to keep being a loser! LOL
  19. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    Thanks, but those cute kiddos are my nieces & nephew. Hoping they'll have a cousin within a few years.
  20. deedeemuffin

    First 105 lbs with Pics! :)

    Absolutely! There's a long post floating around from earlier today detailing my epic night last night. So, You get the abbreviated version Believe it or not at 7 months out I'm still learning. I went this whole time without any problems or complications. Worked too hard outside, got massively dehydrated, had to be taken by ambulance to the ER. Lots of fluids & meds later I was released. Also, found out that I MIGHT be pregnant despite using bc pills. Positive urine test, inconclusive blood test. So, I wait a week & go to my obgyn for a retest. Quite a night. Still learning...
  21. It will be a first time for me IF the 2nd round of tests come back positive. So, still another anxious week of waiting!
  22. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. It wasn't in the plan yet, but what will be will be I guess. (I have been with my guys 7 years & we were going to get married September 2014 & THEN baby!) lol...nervously awaiting my appointment next week.
  23. Spent the night in the hospital and am just exhausted today!

  24. I know that I should be happy losing 105 pounds in less than 7 months, but I am SO ready to be out of the 300's already!

  25. deedeemuffin

    Problems with Dairy?

    I am almost 7 months post-op & I think I might have developed a problem with dairy. I've only noticed over the past couple of weeks. I am a vegetarian so I use dairy a lot towards my protein. I eat A LOT of cheese sticks. I haven't needed the antacids that they give you post-surgery for months. I use almond milk in my coffee and smoothies. I don't think that it is an acid problem as I have no upset with coffee, tomato sauce, oranges, etc. I had 2 string cheeses for lunch & I have been in horrible pain for the past couple of hours...acid reflux up to my throat, a lot of burping & gas. (Gross, I know. Sorry.) I'm just wondering if anyone else has developed problems with dairy. I'm also wondering what I am going to do for protein of I cut out my cheese & yogurt. My NUT is very supportive of a vegetarian diet, but not so much a vegan diet. Any experience or recommendations?

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