diamondkized

I have heard the same thing about people knowing others who died from the surgery. Myresponse is well I know people who have died from being fat so now what. I am having surgery 12/10 and I am anxious for a new life and that's all that counts.

i almost didnt want to chime in but i felt compelled to. i work in the bariatric department and i woulr rule against it. certain insurances will cover it but it is considered to be experimental. I thought about it at first due to the fact that it was basically turning the stomach inside out and you could resume normal activity soon but i havent heard enough positive feedback to even consider that route. to me it seems a bit unnatural to flip the stomach inside out for weight loss. i dont know- to each its own i guess.

You should of told her that her face reminded you of James brown and it was upsetting you. Smh people need to learn to mind their business and give advice when you request it.

I am having my sleeve on December 10th and I was so excited but now I am thinking that I may have to postpone it. My husband and I have always had issues but lately it seems that they are boiling over. He has been trying to get his business off of the ground and buy a rental property and there are times where i dont even see him. I have gotten so emotional about it that i try to talk to him and it ends up in an argument. I am hearing more and more comments like- if you arent happy leave cause he is just trying to better his situation and him basically telling me that I need someone else who can be what I want. I am heartbroken and scared that any day now he is going to leave. The problem is- he was my support for me to have the surgery. I have five children so I cannot possibly do it alone. He is basically all the family and support I have. I am so confused right now and I have been crying all day. Its hard to convince someone that all you want is for them to be your husband and its obvious that he doesn't want to be. I dont know what to do. Am i emotionally capable of doing it?

Wow, you ex chased you for years, I wonder what made him wake up and realize he made a mistake. You are definitely right that if I am not happy no one is happy and I don't want my kids to see me that way. They deserve to have a mom who is there for them 100%. I actually took them out today just to get some air and to show them that I am ok. One thing I have learned from the people on here is that they have been more supportive than anyone else that I know. Congratulations on your marriage and on your weight loss journey I am sure that you will be successful.

Another member brought up the idea of counseling and I think that it is a great idea. You guys have offered great advice and it is amazing how you learn new things each day. The communication between my husband and I was a lot better once upon a time it's just amazing how we have got to this point. Sometimes I think that we got together so young that we may just be growing apart. When I said that he supported me I meant by going to appointments etc. He is self employed and as many of you know the work is never steady. I pay the bills in the household and he helps when he can financially and by taking on other responsibilities. I know that financially I can take care of myself and the children but it is also emotionally draining. I lock myself in the room because I don't like for my kids to see me that way. I thought of postponing it for the very reasons you described although I would never want to. The picture is not a good representation of my weight. My bmi is actually way over which is the reason my insurance will cover the surgery. I actually tried the Protein diet, the adipex and the b12 shot diet, and everyone else before I came to this conclusion. I know that if I don't do anything eventually I will get some of the things I am afraid of. Thank you for your insight and it sounds like you and your husband have great communication which is something that I hope to have some day.

I wish I knew how many times people have told me to just work out. Omg!!! My husband is one of those people who gain weight then lose it just as quick as it comes. The nutritionist told us how men naturally lose weight faster and for the first time he was listening. I still have co workers who say well if fat people didn't sit and eat all day they wouldn't e fat. I sometimes wish that he holds on to that weight a little longer than usual just to see how it feels.

I agree with you. Men say they want a supportive wife but I see that's not always the case.

I believe God will take care of it. I am going to try to let go and let God

I thank you for the encouragement and you are right. I would be upset if I didn't do this. It's also good to see that there are some positive sides of the sleeve as far as marriage goes. I was hoping my husband would e the way yours is but his loss. I am one sexy beast!

Thank you for your posting. I have been praying for things to work out and I believe things will work out or the best. I guess that I am just afraid of how things will work during that time. God forbid I have any complications! One thing Is I have always wanted the sleeve for me and he wanted me to do it the natural way but I weighed my options to do the best for me. I am certain that it won't change the marriage but I am looking forward to the uplifting that I will feel by losing weight.

I have had trust issues but I learned that they can kill a relationship. I have let my mind wonder about what may be going on but at the end of the day I will never know. I try to believe what you do in the dark will come out in the light. I think that I pt too much focus on him and I don't want o continue to do that. I want to Celebrate the fact that I can have surgery soon to change my life. It's just hard when you are dealt a blow like this when you need all the support you can get.

I think you are absolutely right. Believe it or not reading these posts have been a great help to me. I think I lost myself a long time ago and I just stop living my own life. I thought about going for myself ut I know I didn't want to sound like I was crazy. I have been thinking of ways to get myself back into life before this drives me crazy.

December 10th for me!!!!

Wow. I guess I never thought about it like that. I swear that I try to be supportive with his goals but he won't allow me to. This new house he is buying, well he keeps saying when the time is right he will show me. Everything he does is labeled as his business and nothing to do with me. You are right though, I fuss a lot about him not being here and I think it makes it worse but i don't think I should have to keep my feelings to myself. If I can find at least one person to help. Me during the surgery I will do it. He keeps saying that I can't deal with his work ethic and that I need someone else and last night he decided that he would leave. I'm not sure if he just said it or if it's true but I'm done arguing. I never walked out on him no matter what. I was willing to fight he isn't.

Unfortunately my friends are single and single minded. Everythie you have a problem there solution is to leave and find someone else. I made the mistake of just making life revolve around him so I am basically alone.

I am glad that you and your husband are doing well but his attitude is a reflection on this marriage. I get the feeling that he is not into me anymore and judging by the comments he says to me it's a o brained. I can't tell you how many times I've been called stupid and told my feelings don't mean anything. I wish I could have fealty with this after the surgery.

I would love to see a counselor but it takes two to make it work, and he is not emotionally in the marriage anymore.

After the fight we had last night and being called stupid and ignorant because I want to be included on major endeavors like buying rental properties (I forgot to mention that I am the only one carrying the household financially) and that it's not acceptable for him to work all hours and we only see each other 30 minutes a day he basically said since I cant handle what he is trying to build then he will leave. I'm not going to argue I guess he doesnt love me anymore after all.

First and foremost thank you for reading this. My husband has gone to my appointments with me, he has listened to my rants and raves about how I feel about myself etc. It seems that he is trying to get his self on track but he is leaving me behind. Its kind of like he doesnt want me to be involved in any decision that clearly I should know about i.e. buying rental property. The late hours are causing more arguments because my mind starts to wander and I guess by him telling me that if i am not happy to leave pretty much tells me that he is on his way out the door once he gets on his feet. I am sure that I will need some help because I have five children with the youngest being 1 year old. I wouldnt have anyone to help me to transport them to and from school or anything like that. I just want to be happy. I want to get the surgery for me.

Thank you for replying to me. I really dont know what to do. I have just locked myself in my room after work and I haven't even looked at my kids. I talked on the phone to my husband who could really care less about how I felt. I don't have any other support and I have gotten into the habit of not telling my friends my issues because they are quick to tell me that there must be someone else and to leave. I love him and I definitely do not want to let my family go so I am lost. I thought the surgery would help with my issues (concerns about getting bigger and losing control, gaining self esteem, avoiding co morbities, and just trying to live and enjoy life) and it could have been a positive thing for us.

right! i think that the first thing i buy will be some sexy undergarments that are not made by hanes!

I am new as well and my surgery date is December 10th. I am in the same boat that you are in as far as not having any serious health issues. That is what almost prevented me from going through with the surgery. I had to rethink that decision because just because I donthave the issues now doesntmean that they will not develop. I think that it is something that will enhance my life and I owe it to my kids to be able to be there for them 100%

I just want to wear underwear that doesnt have to be folded when doing laundry. My kids fold them like they are damn towels

I am having surgery on December 10th. And although I am looking forward to it I am getting more and more afraid of how I will look afterwards. I am about 5 foot 4 and I am ashamed to say that I weight almost 260 which is the highest I have ever been in my life. Just think last year I weighed 160 but after I had a baby and the weight won't come off. I lost weight before on the modified fast and I looked fine- thats when i got down to the 160 which was about 75 lbs in 6 months.Other than my chest went from a 46ddd to 36dd I didn't have saggy skin. I am just scared of how I will look after the fact. Is this stupid?