Mariposa Bella

Well, let me give you some background on my husband and our relationship. When I met him, I was instantly captivated by this tall, dark handsome gorgeous guy in his cowboy hat. Wow, he was striking. Still is. Well, guess what- this good looking guy noticed me too. All through our relationship I always felt unworthy of him, I knew I wasn't ugly but I also knew I was fat and I felt so unsexy. I was always very proud of what a good looking guy I had and although I know all the good qualities that I have, I never felt pretty enough to be with such a good looking guy. And what made things worse some of his family members would gossip that the only reason he was with me was because I was rich. After being together for two years we decided to purchase a house for us to live in and around the same time he bought himself a new truck, so rumors started flying that I had paid for them (I didn't of course). Wow, little did they know that I was a divorced, broke student that had to work full time to support herself and her daughter. It really hurt me. I thought well I must look that bad that people are justifying a good looking guy being with a fat girl like me. Well anyways, like all relationships we had rough Patches and good times. We eventually got married and had two more children ( I have one daughter from my previous marriage). My husband is not a very affectionate person, especially in public. (never learned it from his parents). I know he loves me, but he rarely tells me he does, he does show me, but he is also not the type to offer a compliment or critisism for that matter. All the times that I complained about being fat he would just tell me "well if you don't feel comfortable with yourself then do something about it, don't just complain and not do anything to get to where you want to be." But he never complained about me being overweight. I was the one that didn't feel comfortable. My self esteem was so low that I was constantly terrified that this gorgeous good looking guy would find some skinny girl and leave me for her, so this made me an extremely jelouse and possessive person towards him. After yo yo ing with my weight for so long I decided the band was for me. I know I was a lower bmi than most here, but I was tired of being fat and wanted a different life. Slowly after two more pregnancies the pounds crept up more and more and that was it. I could not take control of my weight on my own, so I needed help. I talked to him and he was 100% supportive of my decision, not once did he question it, he gave me the money and said if this is what you want, then go for it. He was concerned for my safety but I reassured him and presented him with all the research I had done. Well, I thought for sure that once the pounds dropped he would be so much more into me, or would lavish me with compliments. But guess what he is still the same man, nothing has changed. He loves me the same and treats me the same. I question him and ask him, don't you think I look hot, cause others sure think I am. He hates when I say that. But as I said on another thread, while on vacation, he looked straight into my eyes and said I think you have lost enough weight and you don't need to lose anymore. I don't want you to get anorexic (As if that could ever happen, ha, ha..) but anyways, for a guy that doesn't know how to express his feelings, this was the biggest compliment anyone could have ever given me. I love him so much. And hey late last year he almost beat up some guy in the produce department at Wal-Mart that was staring at me.. I keep telling him, he is just going to have to get used to me being so damn fine, he, heeee.......No really, I know this is a long post, but what I'm really trying to say is that, losing weight will not change someone else's attitude or feelings towards you. You will change, because the self confidence that I know have makes me be a better person and a better wife to him. And yes, there will always be younger, prettier girls out there with better asses and breasts than me. But that is okay, because I finally feel good about myself and know that the love that he has for me is not messured by what I look like but for who I am inside. And I am still me, just better and with more confidence in myself ready to take on the WORLD!!!
P.S. In the last nine years since we have been together, he had gone from weighing 180 to 210 and he is not fat because he is so tall and so muscular, but I love teasing him about how much more he weighs than I do...

Wow, really?? I have lost weight many times, sometimes the right way others through fad diets and doctors assistance and then gained it back like most of us with weight problems. Having the band was a HUGE commitment, I was able to maintain my weightloss for 5 years until it eroded through no fault of my own. Having the band I was forced to reduce intake but isn't that what the sleeve has done for you? I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I was 190 lbs when I got my band and lost 60 lbs. I loved it, looked great, felt great. It wasn't easy but it helped me eat with moderation. Which is something my mind and body apparently don't know how to do on their own. I had to eat 6 small meals a day and followed all the rules. If I hadn't been committed I could have been eating ice scream or milk shakes and junk food which as so happens are band friendly vs eating healthier options of food. Why are all of us on here then if we can achieve weightloss on our own with diet and excercise. Do you think I'm so stupid that I don't know that is what I should be doing??? Why did you get the sleeve couldn't you just follow your dieting advice from above? Just saying? I don't know why I choose to be fat? If I had the answer to that I would not be here. You wouldn't be here. I am 200 lbs and I don't want to gain more, I do try. I diet, excercise, do it for weeks, don't see results or stuff goes bad in my life and I quit. I don't know why, why doesn't my brain get it??? Wish I knew, I have been on a journey to find those answers and don't know why I was born without the will power and ability to eat healthy and moderately on my own without the need to have a band or sleeve. I'm glad that you have shown true commitment and didn't need the sleeve because you were able to diet and excercise on your own....oh wait, I forgot, you did get the sleeve. I wish you nothing but success in your journey. As for me, I still struggle with the fat monster who for my entire adult life seems to get lost, but then finds me again. He must be online and keeps track of me through Facebook....LOL

That is exactly my problem, I will take a piece of cake over steak any day of the week (I love steak too, but I like cake more). I am an emotional eater, and the only thing wrong with that is that I eat FOR ALL OF MY EMOTIONS, SAD, HAPPY, DEPRESSED, ALL OF THEM.