TamaraS

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

Excellent article on Emotional hunger Vs. Physical hunger
http://www.livestrong.com/article/14885-emotional-vs-physical-hunger/
 
 
Am I hungry? important questions to ask-
http://amihungry.com/whatisamihungry.shtml
 
Recognizing hunger signals - http://www.myfooddiary.com/resources/ask_the_expert/hunger_signals.asp
 
Head Hunger-
http://myfoodmaps.com/head-hunger/
 
3 steps to take to become aware of head hunger
http://www.livestrong.com/article/512246-how-to-tell-the-difference-between-real-hunger-emotional-hunger/?utm_source=popslideshow&utm_medium=a1
 
head hunger -
http://www.palmyrasurgical.com/adjustable-gastric-band-guide/living-with-your-gastric-band/dealing-with-hunger-after-surgery
 
 

My little reward for losing 85 lbs!! 1ct diamond pendant... just a little somethin' from the hubby
Now, I did want to reward myself at the -100 lbs mark, but who am I to tell the man no?!
 
THANK YOU SLEEVE!!!
 
What was some of your rewards for reaching a goal?

5'7''
surgery date 12-12-11
HW: 265
GWfS: 250
DoS: 238.1
CW: 187.5
GW:150
 
Ok.. so I normally write how well im doing in my blogs, and honestly this week isn't really different.. Im doing well. I think I am actually doing really well with my weightloss, but here is the thing, when people ask me what im eating and how im losing the weight.. i kind of feel bad cuz the truth of the matter is.. Yes, im am exercising my butt off.. LITERALLY, but im also eating what ever I want, and that is a bad thing.
 
Let me explain... Its not like im just eating junk food, cuz im not. However, if i feel like eating chips, or a cookie, or whatever happens to pop in my mind, well then i eat it! Not like a huge portion of it, but just a bite or two to satisfy my craving. And this early in the the game its just a really bad habit that I am forming. I still eat healthy food for the most part, but im 13 weeks out and i eat fast food, carbs, and sweets!
 
Its funny cuz as i am writing this i have to stop and pause, and i think, wow.. im insane.. i went and had this surgery and im actually sabotoging myself..WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!
 
In my mind i think im justifying myself by saying well im goin to the gym enough to counter what im putting in my body, but the reality is... a year down the road when im at goal and i DONT have to go to the gym every day, what will i have just done to myself.
 
Im not writing this to condone my actions or to even make and excuse for them.. I just think that i need to be honest with myself and those of you that take the time to read my blog each week. Yea im gettin results.. and to be honest even while writing this im still really happy with my weightloss, and my body, because yea even tho i eat bad things sometimes, i still work my butt off in order to keep losing the weight.
 
Im having the worst inner turmoil right now.. and i just want be as good a role model as you all have expected out of me.
 
Anyways, now that ive written an essay ill get to at least some of the good stuff...
 
I went shopping the other day, and here is the awesome part... I bought 3 pairs of pants.. IN THE JUNIORS SECTION..size 13. I was soo excited!!! And to top off the great deals, i bought a medium shirt.. GO ME!!!
 
and you know me.. no blog is complete without a picture.. this one i took just last night.

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

I'm sitting here, working in my home office, dressed in jeans and a soft, thin, brushed red sweater. Why is that such a big deal? Well, because the jeans are size 16 and the sweater is from American Eagle, size XL. These are normal sized clothes and they aren't binding or pinching or look gross. I look normal.
 
I'm still 200+ pounds and have more to lose than I have thus far, but this is just so awesome. This is the first time in 15+ years I've worn normal clothes and felt so comfortable.
 
I love my sleeve. I love my surgeon...........and I love my hubby most of all, because thru thin, emaciatedly thin, thick, thicker and thickest this man has loved me for me. When I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, when I was a younger me, angry with myself for what I felt I had done to myself..........this man loved me. And I sit here now, happy as can be, sipping tea, wearing jeans with a soft red sweater...............enjoying the little things...........and the littler me.
 

My mother left at 7am this morning. My hubby left for work at 8am. So here I am all by myself. Well, thank goodness I'm feeling better. Slept about 6 hours straight without having to get up and take pain pills (tylenol). So at noon, after I made my own lunch, pureed chicken salad, I found my car keys and went to the store! Woot Woot! I can still drive! LOL. Felt good to have my freedom back. Unfortunately was only at store about 10-15 min and had to leave-bowels were talking to me-and they said "Let's go!". I have stopped the stool softeners but I have had really loose stools the last 2 days. Better than no stools-which I did for 6 days. I'm wearing my Danskin 8 inch binder with a washcloth folded over the area on my left that is still bothering me, it seems to be working. Looking forward to seeing my surgeon Friday-got some questions!

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

today I weighed 198 pounds for the first time in many years.
 
It seems I really did need an attitude change...lol
 
The food is still mostly proteins.No obsessive behavior there...a few carbs makes no difference but boy do more exercise make a huge difference.
 
We now run up to 6 km 3 nights a week.It is still 95 degrees some nights and it takes a lot of mental strenght to go out there.But I want to lose weight.
Tuesdays and Saturdays we play roun robin squash for more than 2 hours.
Sundays and Tuesdays I have reformer pilates class.On Monday,Wednesday and Friday we run.
 
I also try to do some circuit training in the gym twice a week.Should step this up a Little to build more muscle but its a work in progress.
 
I am very,very,very,very achy all over.My right leg (in front from the thigh right down to my lower leg) aches all the time and sleeping without pain killers is DIFFICULT.But I want to be thin.
 
We went to a Ill Divo concert last night and this morning my friend told me that I looked very pretty last night.She says people looked at me.This really freaked me out as I am tall and my hearts desire has always been to just blend in with thw crowd.Now I feel even taller for some reason and I know one notices taller people just because we stand out.All this means I have to start dealing with my fear of man or my life might be a little difficult in future.
 
I will post pics of before and after tomorrow if I switch on my mac.Ipad does not upload onto this website and I cannot figure out how to upload with my Iphone.
 
So,I've now lost 99 pounds.To celebrate we are going for a run tonight.Also to see how far we can run without stopping so that we can start with a more structured running program
 
 
 
 

The last few days have been more energetic, and I have not taken naps, though I was tired and needed to sit and rest. I've been to the doctor, and he said the scab is normal...but I have to tell you... I don't think it was...I say was because it loosened again, and spun around, then clinged by a thread of connective tissue, and so I pulled on it to see if it hurt. It didn't so I finished taking it off....and then began the bleeding. I can only assume it was a capillary forming a connection....or losing it's connection. Since then, the wound has run clear fluid and gotten smaller, less red and raised on the edges and the middle has filled in a lot more. I think my body was trying to get that scab off! ...amazing what a body can do, how it thinks on it's own.
 
I went to my first post-surgery support group, and it was interesting, to say the least. There was a loud woman there, who sat next to...you guessed it!...me! She interrupted everyone who was talking, including me, and afterward another woman and I got to hear her entire life story, fraught with contradictions, and the spit that sprayed across the sidewalk, onto my arm, as she reached up and moved a hair out of my face with her grody hand, while revealing that her girlfriend who was her fiance, died of cancer! Whoa! She wants to carpool with me! I don't think so! She wiggled her parts all over and showed us very visually how the plastic surgeon who visited held her vagina in his hand, and how she has been single for 8 years...but how she is married to a man now and divorcing after one year, and how this surgeon was getting her off...good grief! Everything she said had shock value to it, and was incredibly unproductive, irritating, and funny. I found myself wondering if I behave that way-if I annoy the bologny out of other people, and I hope to God, not! You never know who is going to show up to that meeting.
 
Today, I am hungry, like all day, I've been hungry. I did lose another pound, today, but all I've wanted to do is eat...and yes, my belly has been physically hungry. Last night, my daughter made flaky buscuits. Once or twice a year I will let her bake them. Trouble is, that's all I've "wanted" to eat. Yesterday, what was left of a gallon bag of meatballs I made in preparation for the surgery was cooked slowly on the stove with sauce for the children....they ate all the others that were in the bag at other meals. I really wanted meatballs after the surgery, and couldn't get or really have any, anyway....so these, my delicious meatballs were smelling so good, and I'm allowed meat. So, I had one, and then the rest of the day, at the other four. I wanted more than what was left over, and wished I had more. Now, I'm wondering, why on Earth am I wanting those buscuits....and what's up with the meatballs?! I know I'm hungry, and haven't been able to eat more than about 500 calories, but today, I have been very hungry...and stuck to high quality protein, except for the bit of buscuit I allowed myself to have....but, I can't have those things in the house, anymore, and told my daughter that they won't be coming back because they are not healthy for any of us.
 
What I don't want is to feel a drive to eat whatever it might be, ever again....whether my hunger is real or not. I need to figure out how to sort this out. On October 15, I have a meeting with the psychologist, and I'm going to talk with her about it.
 
I walked at least a half mile today, and did two loads of laundry, as well as looked after my two little buddies who are both ill...daughter with headache, and son with stomach bug. He slept for twenty-four hours straight...hopefully, he can go to school in the morning. He is very upset about missing school...which is a welcome change from previous years. I prayed for them to be well, as they have prayed for mommy.
 
I am now down 35lbs...and as I write this, I am wondering if PMS has anything to do with my increased hunger. I do get hungrier at that time, and have more pain in my back, as well. I wonder what other ladies go through regarding cravings and hunger post-sleeve, during PMS time...and how they handle it. I have had to take those buscuits and dump water on them, then put them in the trash.
 
I had pain that made me think I was dying after my procedure...and one thing I never want to happen is that I'd forget that suffering and trade it in for a buscuit! And I reject my own rationalizations that lead to making it ok to have one...because that one does not satisfy...another one is always wanted. I want to be successful, and this is thee last resort, it's now or never!
 
My skin has bee so dry that nothing helped. My skin would slough off after the shower when drying with the towel. I went on a search for lotions and remedies, and found a new lotion by Dial called NurtriSkin. I bought the extra dry with shea butter version and I like it. The lotion seeps into the skin and moisturizes for a long time. I also liked the Mango Aloe Vera lotion that Sally Beauty sells, but the Dial one works well enough. The scales on my elbows that were literally sticking off my skin have smoothed and healed, and the backs of my hands are improving, as well. The rosacea is also calming down, as my face has been incredibly red for weeks after surgery.

Just had my first post surgery protein shake. A day or so ago, my husband and I went to GNC and stocked up on different types of protein powder. Different brands, flavors, some no-sugar-added, some fast release, some slow release, some "meal replacement" powders which include fiber.
 
The GNC guy said casein is a slow-release protein.
 
This particular brand I tried today makes a thick mixture with water. I like that. Pre-op I was drinking Amp Extreme 60 (very tasty!) which mixed thin with water and slightly thicker with water. I like the feel of more body in the drink.
 
So powders are different, and I'm glad I bought a variety to try.
 
Been faithful with my two 10-minute daily walks: one right after I wake up and one after dinner. I got the 10-min regular schedule idea from <The Expert's Guide to WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY by Garth Davis, MD.> Good Book.
 
I feel fortunate not to have any problems drinking. This would be a lot harder, otherwise. Prayers and thoughts to all those out there whose stomachs aren't as accommodating as mine. Hopefully, you'll get more tolerance with time.

Earlier I posted this post about being sick of the sleeve and desperate and doing the duodenal switch...blablabla...yada,yada,yada........
 
Then I went back to the gym to play a game of squash.We played hard and fast and my goodness it felt soooo good.
 
This all made me decide that I will lose more weight.Even if I have to learn to run a hundred km at a time.I will do whatever I can to lose the last 38 pounds.
 
My friend is a personal trainer and I will start train with him next week.I need to start doing some serious muscle building.
 
My goodness,why would I not lose weight if I really work hard?Why do I feel that its not fair that my weight loss have stopped?Who said life was fair?
 
No more chip on my shoulder about this.Yes,I might have terrible days where the scale might affect my mind but I will think positively about losing weight and getting to goal.
 
Tomorrow morning before we go out with friends I will do some exercise and in the afternoon I will either go and swim in the sea or I will go walk while it is still 97 degrees!(swim sounds like fun!)

So I made it!! Surgery was 9/21, wow there were some moments that I wasn't really sure I had made the right choice. The nausea, the pain and the taste all fun and adventurous! But now at 1 week and 2 days out, i am almost up to 64 oz of water a day, walking just over 1/2 mile a day and at 2 8 oz protien shakes, I am working it!! Things still taste funny, and I am learning to just deal. But oh by the way the weight loss? Yep super psyched about 15 lbs in 1 week. So to all preoppers, just hang in there it's all going to be worth it!!

I think one of the hardest things we deal with is the advice of others who may mean well but often don't understand why we need surgery.
 
Click below to go to the blog
 
The Advice Of Others

So not a whole bunch has happenend since my last blog, just hungry still. I thought it would become easier but it hasn't. Day 3 was the worst so far; I had headaches and was even nauseous for most of the day. However I'm still trying to stay posistive. I finally told my family about my surgery and they gave me some much needed encouragement. Most everyone in my family is small, like sizes 4 thru 8. So I'm excited about looking like I too am part of the skinny jeans family.
 
We had a yard sale on Saturday and I went ahead and got rid of a whole bunch of clothes. We made over $400, so now I have some funding for a new wardrobe when the time comes. I never really knew how dedicated you must be in order to do this. I knew it would be hard, but I guess food is a bigger krutch for me than I realized. I do feel great about getting rid of everyting though. I keep trying to focus on the payoff. No health problems and no uncomfortable rolls of fat. However like most people I'm so ready to get back to normal, and I haven't even really started. I have so far to go. 4 months before regular food.
 
I think we forget how much food is not only for nourishment, but also how socially it affects things too. Get togethers, BBQ's, social gatherings, dinner time with famiy, date night, all of these and a million more not mentioned all involve or revolve around food. So before I end this entry, a little advice... don't sit around like I am. STAY BUSY during your diet and try not to dwell on not eating. Try not to plan anything that has food involve. Wishing all good luck and would love to hear from those who got thru this that were weak like me.

Today I had kind of a large supper -- by recent standards -- of salad and fish. I've been reading about salad being disagreeable after WLS, so I wanted to eat it while I still could.
 
Seemed so slow while I've been waiting for my surgery; now, seems it's approaching quickly. Today is Thurs. I'll start liquids Sunday; fly to Tijuana Tuesday; have the surgery Weds.
 
A week from now, I'll have my sleeve. Excited. Scared.
 
We bought a lawn mower so I've been mowing for exercise. It's funny, I feel so tired just walking around; but when I'm doing something, I don't feel as fatigued.

I'm 3 weeks out and have lost only 18lbs. Havent' lost any last week. I hear this is pretty common. I know i am eating/drinking right. Taking 70g protein/day, and around 400-500 cal./day. I feel normal finally (since about day 12)... I had surgery in Tj. Mexico and had a very good experience with dr. Almanza and his staff. My follow up dr is Dr. Swain in Murray Ky. Everything is going normal... No nausea good restriction, and walking 1-2 miles/day. Just been walking 2 months or so. Plan to start running more and more as the weight comes off and i get in better shape. I walk very quickly and am progressing well with that. People are starting to notice the weight coming off. While i'm in a stall i still can tell my clothes are becoming more loose everyday. Haven't weighed in 4 days,, PLan to only weigh once a week instead of daily like before. It was discouraging to me to be in a stall and weigh everyday... Thanks for reading my jumbled thoughts...

Do any other pre sleevies feel like things move slow to get thru the process. I had my first stop class one week ago and have been waiting for the call to have my psych appointment......no call yet. I have a three week periodoff of work starting at the end of November and I am really hoping that everything will be in place by then. Please give me patience!

Seminar July 5th
 
Surgeons office visit August 24th
 
Nutrition class August 27th
 
Psych Evaluation August 30th
 
Insurance request submitted September 10th
 
Approved September 17th!
 
I really didn't think this day would come. So many personal hurtles and worries about insurance. Im estatic! I really look forward to starting my new life which won't revolve around food. It's going to be hard, so hard, but it will be so worth it. I just hope and pray I make it through surgery <3.
 

Seminar July 5th
 
Surgeons office visit August 24th
 
Nutrition class August 27th
 
Psych Evaluation August 30th
 
Insurance request submitted September 10th
 
Approved September 17th!
 
I really didn't think this day would come. So many personal hurtles and worries about insurance. Im estatic! I really look forward to starting my new life which won't revolve around food. It's going to be hard, so hard, but it will be so worth it. I just hope and pray I make it through surgery <3.