Jack Fabulous

Good for you. Isn't it funny how we all equate normal to be something different? Usually it is the pple that we look up to. The so called pretty pple that have the looks, the good jobs, the great family lives and many friends. But just maybe we are the normal ones, ever think about that.
Best of luck on your journey.

Do you have any weight loss support groups in your area? Possibly thru your surgeon or NUT's office? Maybe being around other people dealing with the same issues, and speaking to one another about it can help. It might be comforting to know you are not alone, and it would be a great opportunity to learn new social skills in a small, intimate group.

It's funny how our perception differs from others. I definitely understand how you feel. I was smaller when I was younger, and people would say I look good, ect. I didn't believe it. Stress, ect caused me to gain weight, and now I'm trying to get healthy and learn to love myself like I should be loved. We have to learn to love ourselves. It's nice to see that she gave you motivation to start building your positive attitude. You'll get there.

I don't see a double chin

congratulations! i'm sure it'll be fun and interesting! first meets are always a little weird, because you don't know the person! but that's sorta what you're there to do, right? just pick some place where you have always thought would be cool to hang out as a guy & like Dooter said, just ask people questions about themselves.. people love talking about themselves.. my best friend doesn't even ask me how i am doing on the phone.. she just starts off like "girl.. let me tell you what happened to me today!" lol you'll see that there's nothing to worry about once you get there and it sounds like it will be fun! you'll have to keep us posted on how it goes. fingers crossed for ya!!! hope you have an "i love you man" kinda friendship with someone. lol (you should see that movie if you haven't, it's hilarious)

That's AWESOME!!! This may sound dorky, but I don't want you to have to beat the crap out of anyone.... make up a list of about 10 or 20 stock questions and when you don't know what to say, you ask questions. People LOVE to talk about themselves. You ask one question and you'll be nodding and shaking your head and saying "uh huh" for like....half an hour.... And they'll think you're like...the greatest guy they ever met!
(OH-- and I finally lost a pound BELOW my bounced up weight. Yay!! I really need to kick my own butt. Turns out I was all swollen up from Aunt Flo visiting!! I've been in menopause for a couple years, so this was a shocker!)

Thank you for posting this. Many people do not talk about some of the struggles you can have after losing weight. Me, for example, I have really struggled to realize that I am not big anymore. So many times, if I see someone looking at me, I feel that they are judging me still, looking at my flabby arms or thinking that "she shouldn't be wearing that".
I am not as shy as I used to be either, but I too find it difficult. I still feel sometimes like the biggest one in the group, or that people won't want to be friends with me. Our bodies might lose the weight, but our brains don't lose the baggage.
I really don't have great advice. The only thing is to say that congratulations on embracing your new life and making an effort to put yourself out of your comfort zone. It takes a lot of courage to try new things! Like the old saying goes, "fake it until you make it". Just keep going and it will get easier! And congratulations on your weight loss too!

This is so true. You have made so many changes already and have done great. I love that your challenging yourself to socialize more with others. Sometimes I can feel rather reserved but other times I am totally amazed at myself when I just get out of my head and start talking to others without worrying about saying something stupid. If I say something stupid, I just laugh and make a joke of it. I love to use humor. Just be true to who you are and you will be just fine.

If you figure this out, will you enlighten me? I play much of the same things in my head that you said. We should TALK!

I feel the same way, glad to hear that Im not the only one struggling with this.

and THAT is what the journey is about!
Weight loss isn't a magic wand or a magic pill. It doesn't mean all of the sudden you will feel love or be "in the club" . . . that's why sometimes weight loss is so slow. There is so much that we need to catch up with and learn from.
Don't be embarrassed anymore on what you weighed because you took steps to change it. Work on those insecurities because 140 lbs lost (I think that's your goal right)... you are gonna ROCK!
And obviously you are already well loved. Congratulations sweetie, u r rocking this, continue on and enjoy the journey!

JFAB! You are going to get there. It took time to gain it, it's going to take time to lose it. You don't want it gone too fast because skin will hang worse. So be patient ok? You are doing superbly! Just keep the nose to the proverbial grindstone and BE PATIENT. It WILL happen if you do what you are doing, with a few tweaks here and there, which you are working on. EIGHTY SIX POUNDS LOST!!!!! WOW in a short time. Better than 1/2 way there. ...... it's all about perspective! YOU GOT THIS!

I also write about a lot of these issues in my blog. I did not tell anyone until I was approved and had a date. Then I felt free to tell everyone. Some people tried to talk me out of it and others were supportive. I was strong in my convictions and knew why I was doing this. Yes, there was SOME shame in allowing myself to get to 330 lbs, but, now that I have lost 56 lbs, every one says how great I look and I FEEL great and have a lot more energy. Drop me a note if you need to talk, I'm around. I write about my journey at http://jfabulous43.wordpress.com/

Don't be embarrased. Your past is past. Be proud of the fact that you have done something for yourself to be a much healthier person and just keep on looking ahead. It sounds like all the gushing is from people who are excited for you. But what really matters is how you feel about yourself.
Congratulations on your weight loss! Enjoy the compliments!

I think your reaction from people is what I will get from them. I recently did a video of me...something I stayed away from was videos and cameras. I was like, wth, I let myself go. I already know. Regardless, for you, stay focused and know you are moving forwards and don't look back. I know I won't when my time comes. I totally get your entire blog there though. My turn soon. Definitely embrace the compliments. We have a tendency to look on the flip side...but dont.

Don't look back, your NOT headed that way! Feel good about about yourself and where your going now. Life is too short, enjoy!

OMGosh, I could've written this myself.... except I started at 349 and am only 5'6". :s I am HORRIFIED at pics that were taken only 6 or 8 months ago. I want to burn them and pretend that "that me" just never existed. YIKES... (I have before and current pics in my photo gallery if you want to be horrified too! LOL)
This Part:
"You were so fat that I was really worried about you. When I stood next to you, I could hear you having trouble breathing and I was scared for you. You’ve had trouble walking and getting around. You look a lot better and a lot healthier now.”
My sister in law said the EXACT same thing to me just the other day! Unbelievable!!

Yoyu are moving ahead and they loved you then since they are noticing your loss-- if they said nothing then they did not care back when you were heavier! Congrats on the new you

Two things come to mind as I read, J. Fabulous. We have an almost infinite capacity for self-deception, and an equal or greater capacity to change. Thank God.
The second thing is that your weight loss (in so far as your personal journey is concerned) IS private but the observable evidence of the changes you are making can't be hidden. In no universe I know of is an apology required. And all that "gushing?" People are happy for you, stunned at the changes you've made, and trying to express that. Obviously, they cared enough about you in the past to be happy for you in the present.
Just say, "Thank you." Bask in the happiness for a bit, and then get on with your life. Compliments and criticism are like perfume and s**t - both smell and you don't eat either one.
Congratulations on your weight loss, your journey to better health, and the whole new future you have. You so rock.
CE

Someone stood close to you. someone was concerned about you. I'm sure he was not alone. You WERE LOVED. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE LOVED.

" All of these comments from other people make me quite nervous. While I appreciate it, they feed into my insecurities.
" Now, I am just embarrassed about my weight. I’m embarrassed that I let myself go to such a level. I’m embarrassed to even discuss it. It’s almost as if I feel like I owe the world an apology for being so fat.'
I FEEL THAT WAY ALL THE TIME!!!!!!
I thought I was insane for feeling so horrible when people made comment about my weight loss so far. I will walk away feeling if you think I look great now that I have so much to lose HOW DID YOU THINK OF BEFORE? and some really go over board with the loud comments and don't realize this is a private matter/fight! I don't really need you announcing to the room that I am losing weight. Worse is when they openly ask me in a room full with people how much have I lost?!!!!! like really?!
Thank you for posting this!

I need to see you logging on MFP again too!!! I don't know how you feel about using MFP, but it REEEAALLLYY helps me with the whole "reality check" thing, and you can see right away how destructive your food choices are. And HONESTLY log EVERY bite you take, good or bad. You know we won't judge, just encourage. I ate ice cream yesterday like a fool, and logged it, and saw what it did to my day. Now i don't want it anymore. BLECH. POO POO!!!
Get on the stick. We're here. We'll bug you. This is important and we're not going to let you blow it!!!

I think that the fact that you are able to recognize that you're "falling off the wagon" and that you seem to be feeling some kind of guilt for this, that you are not far from hopping back on the wagon. Since I'm only 4 months post op, I'm still in that "I'm going to stick to the rules no matter what phase" but I know that once in awhile I'll take a taste of something not so good for me and to me that feels like that in the future I'll fall off the wagon and into my old bad habits too. Whenever I don't follow the rules for the day like my protein or fluid intake is too low, then I start keeping track of my food intake on a phone app. I find that if I know I'm keeping track of the food I put into my mouth, or what I exercise, that I'm more apt to do better. I have always turned back to the food diary and it seems to always do the trick. You're doing great and just the fact that you acknowledge things are going sour in your routine is a good sign I think!

I agree with the above comment, the fact that you are realizing what you are doing is half the battle! Get back to your good habits and try to remember how you felt at your heaviest that always helps me when I get to feeling like I just want to eat what everyone else is.

stop yer whinin'... "only lost 2 lbs last week" sheesh