RAAinNH

It has been a while since I posted anything. I guess that is because there hasn't been too much to report. I just looked at my last post, and it was May 31, and I weighed 214. As of this morning, I weigh 199! I haven't been under 200 in at least 15 years. I'm only 9 lbs away from my doctor's goal of 190, and 19 lbs away from my goal of 180. I've lost a total of 75 lbs now. I thought I was losing quickly, but now that I think about it, 15 lbs in a month and a half isn't that quick. I want to be at or below my doctor's goal by my 6 month follow up. Guess I need to step it up!

We got a treadmill, and today I had my first session, and it's also my 29th birthday! I burned 451 calories in an hour! I'm so stoked!!! I can't wait to continue working out in the mornings and seeing the inches melt off! Bonus, there is an ipod/mp3 jack and speakers so I can listen to my own music while I'm sweating away!! Makes it a billion times more effective! Lovin life, lovin my sleeve!!

I will almost make 6 months post op, and I have a great many things to be thankful for. We all strive to hit numbers on the scale, but it is all the little accomplishments that really make a difference in how we feel and the way we move. I've compiled a list of all the things I have noticed since surgery that have changed for me.
 
1. My blood pressure has dropped 20 points (*note that I have never had high blood pressure)
2. I have dropped 2 shoe sizes
3. I started out doing 15 minutes of cardio and can now do 2 hours non-stop of medium to intense cardio
4. Foot pain is GONE
5. Knee pain is GONE
6. Back pain/sciatica is very rare
7. Migraines have subsided and only come about when I get a massage or have a lot of neck tension
8. I don't need an extension for the airplane
9. I am now considered a regular at the gym
10. I am able to look in the mirror more and for longer periods of time
11. I rarely need to take a nap in the middle of the day
12. I can work a 8 hour shift with no problem...used to work only 4 hours because my back and feet would be killing me
13. pants size went from 28/30 to 20
14. I am seeking out new active things to do instead of avoiding them
15. I don't have any bathroom problems: (this one is quite embarrassing), but I used to have a lot of issues...even wiping my ass where I would be in tears because I couldn't reach! I don't have any of these problems anymore
16. Sex is way better! Being on top is an option now and an enjoyment :0)
17. I get a compliment every day
18. My towels fit completely around me now
19. I am more social
20. I watch less tv
21. I need my husband's help less with everything
22. I am 14 pounds away from being the same weight as my husband!!!
23. I enjoy working out
24. I am comfortable with what and how I eat...I don't obsess anymore
25. I am now trying to motivate others
26. I am so busy living my life that it is hard to get on the computer and post blogs...I'm trying though

My second week postop was SO much better than the first week. The addition of kefir (liquid yogurt) in my diet really helped to bring my diarrhea under control & everything in the whole world looked much better after that!
 
My surgeon had me on 2 full weeks of clear liquids plus skim milk postop. It was definitely tough to go that long on just clear liquids, even with skim milk & the addition of kefir one week in. I was aware that many other docs do not require 2 weeks on clears, but I just figured this was my karmic payback for having a generous pre-op diet that was not just a bunch of shakes. Even though I had heard this might happen, I was still surprised to find myself never experiencing hunger...either physical or head hunger. A couple of times I was in a restaurant or somewhere else around yummy food, but I was barely tempted. The food looked good, smelled great...and still, I only had a tiny ripple of want, and then I forgot about it.
 
Here's what else surprised me, though...the number of pre-op and post-op sleeve peeps who encouraged me to cheat on, or disregard, my surgeon's instructions! Granted, nobody was encouraging me to eat a cookie or something like that, but several folks encouraged me to have some yogurt, or a protein shake, or pudding. Even though I knew it it probably wouldn't hurt me to give in, I chose to stick to the plan as outlined by my surgeon.
 
Maybe it's a small thing, but it seems to me that developing our self-discipline skills is a big part of this journey. I assume that my surgeon has chosen his post-op guidelines because he believes them to be the best way to ensure a successful start. Part of the information we learn on this & other WLS sites is just how much variation there is among surgeons, and their pre- and post-op plans. We know what other folks are being told by their doctors, and sometimes it might be easy to think, "Well, that person's doctor said it wasn't a problem, so why does my surgeon care? It won't really matter if I just....." I know that suggesting that someone have a yogurt is not the end of the world, but rationalization and justification are twin pathways on the slipperiest of slopes. I don't want to get started down that road. I will be the first to admit that my self-discipline skills can certainly use some work, but I am making the best effort I possible can to be successful on this journey.

Going to a party today where I will see people that I haven't since Christmas.
My surgery was in January and I have lost 96 pounds.
At Christmas my skirt/pant size was a 24. Tops were 24 to 28 or XXXL.
 
My sister bought me an adorable skirt and a sexy slamming blouse. Skirt size ---> 6 !!!!!!!!!!! The blouse is a plain MEDIUM. I cried and so did she. I kept looking at the tag on the skirt like it had to be wrong.
 
What a moment. I feel liberated and I feel like I have finally won the battle. I have no regrets going through with this operation. I am very glad I didn't have the bypass or the band. I feel very healthy.
 
Happy girl!! Have a good day everybody.

I must admit, I'm a "closet" sleever.
 
No family or friends know what I'm about to do because I choose not to share. i feel ashamed that i cannot lose the weight on my own. I've been trying for years only to regain the loss weight & then some.
 
My mother has been petite & tiny all of her life, so shes never understood my plight. If she knew, oh would I hear it... Yup, even at the age of 49, she still tries to be controlling. Our phone discussions are never about life events initially, the 2nd-4th question from her is, "HOW IS YOUR WEIGHT?". {I cringe at this question}
 
My friends are all shapes & sizes. My smaller friends call WLS a cop out. My overweight and obese friends say they're ok with their weight, but they're always on a "diet".
 
Instead of acceptance & encouragement, I'm sure I would receive critcism & hateration...{Hateration= a form of jealously and negative emotion about your situation or circumstance, b/c individual isn't able to obtain/acheive the same success}
 
The "excuse" I plan to use with all (including coworkers) is, I had my gallbladder removed & I'm now watching what I eat with a high protien & low carb diet with excercise incorporated within.
 
Yes....... this is my story & my truth. MY truth shall set me free.
Thanks for stopping by...I now feel a little lighter, less burdened.

I'm learning my way, so I apologize in advance for the repition. This was posted yesterday
 
I've been struggling with my weight since I was a child...Always gaining and never losing.
 
Excercising, watching what I ate. Green Juicing & organic eating. Cutting back the salt, decreasing the sugar, omiting the bread, bagels & donuts. Stoping the fast food quick trips, increasing the steamed veggies, and loving fish & fowl.
 
Drinking water, carrying water. Drowning in water. I have water in my car, my desk drawer, a bottle in my purse...It became my newest accessory.
 
I've done Nutri System, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and starving. I've used videos, joined classes at the gym, water aerobics, kick boxing, walking & jumping rope around the track. With minimal results, I started crying, lost hope & then binge eating.
 
I have high blood pressure, sore knee joints, an achy back, & a sad spirit. Yet I continue to smile on the outside, because fluffy people are supposed to be happy & jovial.
 
I'm a 49 y/o female that needed help.
 
I started my journey January 2013 by attending a Bariatric Center of Excellence Seminar in the area. It motivated me & I realized this was the help I needed. I immediately signed up and went to my 1st appointment in Feb 2013.
 
I followed the instructions of my insurance carrier, jumped through all of their hoops, crossed my T's, dotted my I's and was still declined the sleeve in May 2013. I questioned, how can that be when I'm in such bad shape?
 
The Bariatric Center of Excellence filed an appeal on my behalf June 2013.
 
I received a call yesterday.
My appeal was approved, YAY!
Anxiously awaiting 2mrrw to schedule my Sleeve Day. I'm grinning from the inside out!!
 
Please be my support.... Thank you for allowing me to share.

Well, hello all. I suppose this will be where I will share the journey of my future sleeve. I'll start off all formal.
 
My name is Eric. I am a 28 year old oil field mechanic working for one of the largest well services companies in the world. I love my job, always have. I have been in south Texas for roughly 3 years now, last 2 I have spent in a supervisor role managing equipment repairs in our maintenance department. The first 4 years of my career I spent as a field mechanic living out of an F-550 service truck. Spending that much time on the road, in hotels and sleeping in a truck really kills any good intentions of eating well. in the last few years, I put on about 70-80 lbs. But enough about work. I currently weigh in at 376 lbs with a BMI of 52 I believe, seeing this number hurt. I don’t "feel" 376 lbs. I stay very active at work, walking close to 5 miles a day just around the facility, so I suppose staying up and on my feet doesn’t allow the weight to take its toll on me the way a sedentary person would, i guess. You could say that I am on the healthier side of morbid obesity (lol) as in, I take no medications, my BP is spot on, blood work has always been good. I have no bad number but my weight. So maybe that’s why I don’t "feel" 376. Maybe someone with a similar feeling can give me their take on that.
 
I am lucky to be married to an awesome girl, who herself had the lap band put in about 4 years ago or so and dropped close to 100 lbs. Watching her struggle was tough, but we got through it together and I think I put on all the weight she lost. She is behind me 100% and I know for a fact this will be very important in the months to come.
 
About 6 months ago, I had my first consultation with a clinic in San Antonio only to find out a month later that the hospital they use for the surgery wasn’t "approved" by my insurance as a facility to perform the procedure; obviously, this was a progress killer. I became kind of bummed about it and let it go. Here we are in June, (bite me, I'm a few days late ) and decided that I wanted to try another stab at it. So I found an approved hospital, and then tracked down a doctor that used it; backwards i Know, but had to be done. So last Thursday I had another consultation, awesome doc, nice staff and has totally re-lit the fire that I had 6 months ago. I the six months that passed between consultations, I had only gained 3 lbs, not bad i guess considering my bad habits.
 
So thats me in a nutshell. I'm here, ready to do this. Started my 3 months of supervised weight loss per insurance regs, and I am going to take it seriously. I'm tired of being the big guy. I put a few before pics on here from my wife and I's diving vacation in the caribbean from last August, I think I will use these as my before pics, because the Caribbean has been our best dive trip so far, so good memory with a fat picture, haha.
 
 
Later,
 
Eric

Consume Adequate Protein (Minimum: Women 80 to 100 grams / Men 100 to 120 grams)
Eat and Don’t Drink your calories (Except Protein Shakes)
Stay Hydrated (Minimum of 64 oz of Water)
Cut out Sugar, Sweet N’ Low, Aspartame, and Splenda (Stevia is good or
Eat Your Fruit and Veggies
Consume Small Amounts of Good Fats Frequently
Choose the Right Carbohydrates and Always Eat them Last (Protein then Veggies then Good Carbs if you aren’t 80% Full)
Eat 3 Small High Protein Meals and 2 High Protein Snacks Daily (2 to 4 oz. per meal every 3 to 4 hours)
Eat Slowly, Chew Food Thoroughly and Stop Eating at 80% Full
Take all your Required Bariatric Advantage Vitamins/Minerals Daily

 

Bariatric Advantage Multivitamin (Either 3 Capsules twice daily or 2 Chewable per day)
Bariatric Advantage Calcium Citrates Chewy Bites (1000 mg per day – Take 2 hours before or after any iron containing supplements. Can be divided into 500 mg doses)
Bariatric Advantage Iron (Females 29 mg, Males 18 mg – take 2 hours before or after calcium supplements.
Bariatric Advantage Sublingual B12 (Dissolve 1 tablet under the tongue daily) OR have Bariatric Dr write a prescription that you take once a week.
Bariatric Advantage Vitamin D3 – 5000 units (Take 1 capsule daily)
SPECIAL NOTE: They highly suggest Bariatric Advantage because they not only meet the requirements, but are one of the few companies to test that the product work correctly in your body).
 
He also suggested that I take Krill Oil 1000 mg a day and Juice Plus if I can afford it.
 
1. Bariatric Advantage Vitamins/Minerals & Meal Replacements, KetogenX protein supplements (bars
and crisps) and Nectar Protein Powder
2. Quest Protein Bars available at www.questnutrition.com/bariatricrd
3. Juice Plus® available at http://www.kylefjuiceplus.com/
4. Vital Choice Krill Oil available at www.vitalchoice.com
5. Just Like Sugar™ (healthy sugar substitute) available at http://www.justlikesugarinc.com/

I am officially six months into this journey and I couldn't be happier. I am half way to my ultimate goal. I've had a couple of ah-ha moments lately. This past weekend I went shopping and realized that just because something fits doesn't mean I have to buy it. In the past anything that fit was an automatic purchase as there were so few things that actually fit. Now I can pick and choose! That made me so amazingly happy this weekend. I am also now fully aware of how my body drops weight - this will be a losing month and next month will not. I tend to stall with every 10 lbs now - but I am moving in the right direction and that is what is important.

This picture is of me the day of surgery and then at 6 months post-op! -69 lbs!!!
BIG GOALS:
Get rid of the "Big O" - I want to be out of the "obese" range for BMI (about 4 more points to go on that one)
Have lost more weight than I have to lose - that will be in two more pounds - but it is a day I am so looking forward to...
Get rid of any and all clothing with an X after the size (it's an emotional attachment - none of them fit me any more)
Do a zip-line - that's been on my list for a while - gonna knock it off this summer

I'll post more when I have time to think about them. Life is simply too busy right now to think straight. Oh - one interesting thing happened last weekend. We went to a party and after my boyfriend mentioned that it seemed like I really had a good time. I told him that before my surgery I dreaded these kind of events because I felt so self conscious and worried about taking up too much space in the crowded room, and I simply got tired of standing all night. Now I have none of those thoughts/worries/issues. He was surprised to hear me say this - I guess I really did suffer in silence for years!

Wanted to share a rundown of my surgery day and 1st week Postop. I was sleeved on June 11, 2013. Here goes:
 
Surgery day!: the surgery itself went smoothly. No complaints or complications. When I woke up, I did experience some nausea. I also felt a little too sedated. My mind was like, "ok, Misty, you need to get up and walk." But my body was like, "F*** that." My mom and husband brought me to my very comfy hotel room and I was instructed to start sipping on water at 10pm. So, I did. And I vomited. I did have some mild pain, but I couldn't tolerate the pain medication (I couldn't tolerate the water). Recap of the day: pain- very mild. Nausea- holy hell.
 
Day 1: I continued with nausea until I hit the 24 hour mark. Then I was able to drink. Magic! The day's intake totaled 5oz, and I was super proud of that. On this day I met my new best friend = Gas X. I attribute the Gas X with me feeling so much better. Oh! And I was allowed to take a shower!! (A shower cures everything). That evening Dr. Borland came visit me, and gave me terrible news = no bowel sounds! Ahhh! Some people might be like, "so what?" But in my mind (my nurse mind) I pictured myself with an NG tube, large midline abdominal incision, and a colostomy. Ah! I took Phenergan that night, not for nausea, but for sleep.
 
Day 2: I was able to leave the hotel. Home sweet home! After the car ride, I did have some mild soreness and a little trickle of blood at the bellybutton site. No biggie. And on this day I learned the value of burping myself, yes, like a baby.
 
Day 3: ok, we talked about no bowel sounds- Since the doc told me that, my ridiculously obsessed self kept listening for my bowel sounds. And I had been hearing increased grumbling. Yay. And today??? A BM!! Yes, thank you, I was happy for myself too. Today I felt no pain or soreness. I walked to the mailbox a few times- I was afraid to leave my driveway. I had a total intake of 17.5 oz!
 
Day 4: Feeling good! Walked outside a little. No pain. Total intake of 19 oz (I felt like I pushed it too much). I was feeling much stronger until I had to wash my hair-- OMG!
 
Day 5: Felt great!!! I discovered today that my engagement ring no longer fits. but and I got 21oz in with no problem. And today, I ventured past the mailbox into the street!!!
 
Day 6: I woke up feeling weak. After thinking about it, I believe I was a little dehydrated. I actually slept late this day. So my observation= sleeping too much= not drinking= dehydration= weakness. I did some light housework, walked outside, had an all around good day once I caught up on my fluids. And I went on my first outing: Walmart to shop for thickened liquids: dear god that was exhausting. Lol
 
Day 7: I started my protein shakes! And vitamins!! After all that clear liquid, I was kinda excited for protein. Feeling strong! Feeling good! I went to my first Postop appointment. Lost 22lbs! Yay! I will see my doc again in 2 weeks. Oh, and I learned I love V8.
 
So that was the first seven days. Honestly, I thought I'd be worse. And with no pain medications, I felt like I did well.

Hey there everyone.
I know I have not been keeping up on my blogs... I guess its because I am now out living life and discovering who I am as a normal person. Finding out I like to hang out, I like to go to the gym, I don't mind being in front of a crowd now... As for normal life its kinda hard rite now, I just started a new job and its not really paying out what I hoped, so the bills are a bit tight rite now. But I can tell you that my cloths are not! I am having to sew and alter many of my cloths because I am loosing so fast! Thank god I can sew! Or I would be in cloths that looked like sacks and togas...lol
 
This sleeve is proving to be the most wonderful "tool"! And yes, everyone was right to say its a tool for weight loss! Its the thing that helps keep me on track. The reminder that I have a goal and that I don't want to stray from my mission.
 
As of this week I am 14 weeks post op. I have lost 71 pounds and almost 45 inches! (9 inches off my waist alone!) I have gone from a size 22 pants to a size 16! Everything looks and feels different. I can cross my legs when I sit, I can run up and down stairs, I can be on my feet for longer periods of time, I am starting to be able to ware high heals again! And when I pass by a shop window, I don't recognize the person I see in the reflection... The little changes and victories are endless! I am so happy I made this decision.
 
There are a few things for me that I have noticed are a little different than some of my other sleever friends. One is I am hungry regularly. I don't really know if it is what they call head hunger, or if my body is just telling me to eat more. I know that I am satisfied rather quickly, but I do feel hungry often.
I am able to eat most anything I want (in moderation) I have a little bit of a hard time with fried foods. I try to stay away from them in general, but sometimes my will gets the best of me... I am normally sorry in the end because my tummy dose not really like it... In general I am at about 1000-1100 cal a day... And I loose about 2 or maybe 3 pounds a week rite now...
 
I have been on the low end of my protein the past couple weeks. I have been making it a priority over the past couple days so I hope to see my loss pick up again. I have noticed it slow down a little. Im sure this will help. My other problem area is water ( I know, I am preaching to the choir on this one...lol every one has a hard time with water) I have been trying to drink allot more! I keep a glass full at work now and a bottle in my car. What ever it takes rite?
 
Well, I think I have covered most of the things that are going on with me. I want to be able to keep a record not only for myself but for all of you who might find a little help or hope in following my story. I know I am not supper interesting, or amazingly charismatic, but its my story... and maybe it will help someone...
All I got is my experiences and my personal victories...
 
To all my supper awesome friends out there... Thank you for your support! You guys are awesome! Sarahr and TTL you girls are the best! I am always able to talk to you guys... and especially my friend VSGkirk ... You have been so wonderful, and such a great friend... Thank you!
I am so glad we live close.
 
Until next time. Keep up the good work!

Well, it's been awhile since I blogged, so I Thought I should do another blog on how it's been going for me now 7 months post sleeve. I can't believe that it's been 14 months since I started my weight loss journey, and 7 months since I was sleeved! I'm down 109 pounds now, and only have 26 pounds to my goal weight. I feel 20 years younger, and the best that I have felt in many, many years! I'm off all my prescription medications other than my hormone pills. I use to take (2) different blood pressure pills 2X'S a day, Prozac for depression/anxiety, Prilosec for acid reflux, and I had high, BAD cholesterol, and LOW good kind of cholesterol. I also had bad knees, and back pain all the time! I would get tired and out of breath just doing simple little household chores. I had turned into a "hermit", and never wanted to go anywhere, or do anything in public where I would be judged for my weight. I have come such a long way, and it hasn't been an easy journey, but SO WORTH IT! I'm no longer a "hermit", and actually enjoy going out in public and doing things. I now exercise several times a week by either walking our dogs for almost 4 miles, or riding bikes with my husband at least 5 miles. I actually ENJOY doing this, and look forward to it! My times doing both things have greatly improved the longer I have been doing them. It use to take me 1 hour and 40 minutes to walk the 4 miles with our dogs, and now I can do it in a little less than an HOUR! The bike ride use to take me 50 minutes, and now I can do it in 32 minutes. I use to be dead TIRED after coming back from my walks, or our bike rides, and collapse in my chair when I got back. Now when I get back I still feel great, and not all out of breath, or dead tired, but feel so good, and accomplished! I use to wear a size 26 W, and now I'm wearing a 12/14 regular womens depending on the clothes. I haven't been this weight, or size in clothes since the 1980's! It seems so strange to say I weigh 100 and something, and not start with 200 and something! I was close to 300 pounds (285 pounds) when I started this, and I know I would have been OVER 300 pounds by now if I hadn't made the choice to get sleeved last November 2012! It's not the "easy way out" like some people think! It's taken a lot of hard work, and determination to get to where I am today. The sleeve is only a "tool", but an awesome tool! You still have to eat healthier, and get off your butt, and DO SOMETHING! I'm 55 almost 56 years old, and I feel like I'm in my 30's again! I'm even thinking about entering a 5K walk/run coming up in our neighborhood later this month. If you would have told me I would be thinking about doing something like that a year and a half ago, I would have said, "You're nuts"! LOL I feel so much better about myself, everyone tells me that I look so much happier, and younger. Getting sleeved is one of the best things I have ever done, and I have no regrets!

I started this journey in October 2012 and now its June 2013 and I am down 100 lbs.... It wasn't easy either I have made a lot of mistakes somewhere daily but I kept my focus worked out, even when I made bad choices I didn't let them affect me the rest of the day like I have done in the past. I have done weight watchers, counting calories and nutri system and have never lost much or stuck to something so hard. At first I felt like this was wrong because I was dropping weight fast and that I couldn't do it on my own before. Well I couldn't do it on my own I needed help and I found it and I will never look back on those 100 lbs or bring them with me to future. This is the best choice that I have ever made and I would do again if I had too... This has changed my life and I can’t wait to lose the next 75 lbs! :wub:

I have struggled all my life with my weight. I was the chubby kid, the porkly pre-teen, the fat teenager and now I am a morbidly obese adult. Yikes that was a very strong sentence. Yes I had 3 yrs of my early adult life that I was just chubby which is only because I am short (5'3) and was actually happy with my weight and would enjoy shopping and looking nice but it was a short lived 3 yrs. I fell down a hill one evening and tore my ACL in my knee and had to have surgery. I ended up being in a cast from my hip to my ankle for 9 weeks. I wasn't able to do anything and started gaining weight. I went from 140 to 180 by the time the 9 weeks ended and felt sick. I had bills that had piled up due to not being able to work and got extremely stressed out with that. And by the time it was over I had to quit my current job because I couldn't stand for more then 30 mins at a time and get a desk job. You can only imagine what occured after that. My butt widened and my jean size kept going up. During this time I also met the man of my dreams and was happy, he moved in with me after 6months and we got engaged after 9months. I was too embarassed to work out in front of him and started going out all the time eating at fancy restaurants and seeing movies. He wasn't an active person never worked out and ate what ever he wanted, he was also 6'3 so he hid his weight well. Unfortunately his mother was a great baker too and made awesome desserts that melted in my mouth way too easily. By the time we got married 3 yrs later I was up to 230 and getting married in a size 22 dress. In the years following we started a family and had two beautiful girls. Of course through each pregnancy I held onto at least 20 lbs of my pregnancy weight. I had bad post-pardon depression after my second daughter and started eating late at night eating my way to 320 lbs ! I have attempted pretty much every diet known to man and some I succeeded with and some I didn't. I have spent tons of money on food delivery services and programs. Now age 34 I have decided to take the plunge and have Weight Loss Surgery- Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. I have been working really hard the past 6 months to re-program my thoughts and feel I am prepared for this. I started the actual journey on 12/10/2012 at 318 pounds. I have lost 18 as of today. I have been taking it slowly only because I have arthritis in my feet and my knee can't handle this weight and now my hip pops in and out of place at least once a week now. My surgery is on July 22nd and I am beyond excited , nervous and anxious. I am ready to become that healthy and happy woman, mother and wife that my family and I deserve to experience. I want to be a good role model to my kids and reverse the damage I have already caused with them. I want to teach them good food choices and be active with them so we can enjoy our lives!!!

I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"
 
It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.
 
So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.
 
I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.
 
The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.
 
The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!
 
So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.
 
Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.
 
So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.
 
Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.

I am currently reading 703: How I Lost More Than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life by Nancy Makin. It is a well written memoir about her struggle with obesity. I Googled her this morning and came across an excerpt from an old blog post of hers that resonated with me. This same struggle will be one I deal with for as long as I am alive, hopefully I can continue on this path with honesty and grace.
http://www.amazon.co...-1&keywords=703
 
 
http://nancymakin.wordpress.com/
 
Your plan may be vastly different. Small steps make for big changes down the road. If you can’t do a lot, do what you can; excuses are just that… excuses for not moving forward. If you do this, you are sabotaging your future. If you act like a victim, you’ll always be a victim. If you want change, change the things you can, however insignificant they seem right now. Each positive act will bring results, just as surely as negative ones do…. they will change what you think, about you, your capabilities and about the world around you.
Do it for yourself, because you are valuable. Exercise, ie: activity, is only one aspect of a human being’s life. We are a mixture of body, mind and spirit. Neglecting any one of the “whole” causes the disconnect that leaves us faltering, unsure and feeling incomplete. Give your love and time to someone else today in any way you can and watch the magic that’s released. You will begin to treat yourself as you treat others… Little gestures move mountains.
 
Believe.