Bandista

Please know that you are worthy of all good things. It's so easy to get down on ourselves when we're exhausted. Please be gentle with yourself and take good care -- you are worth it. Thank you for posting. It really helps me to read what others are going through. Life can be so stressful. When I'm able to step back and view things from a distance, sometimes I gain insight.

You are the picture of health! Congratulations on all the hard work that brought you this success -- you are amazing.

Awesome progress Jim!
I enjoyed reading your blog, and I agree, as far as our mobility goes, we should never take anything for granted. Going for a brisk walk is something I enjoyed for years, and after my car accident, the road back made me realize that it is often the simple things which mean the most.
One thought which struck me as I was reading was perhaps starting out with a more reasonable exercise goal could help. I am determined to get in 5-6 hours of cardio per week. That's just about the max of what my joints can manage. I'm retired now, but if I were still working, 10 hours of cardio would be impossible for me.
If you adjusted your goal, you might not admonish yourself if you did not reach your weekly goal. That mindset is so important to keep us focused and motivated to continue with meeting our exercise goal.
Also, reassigning exercise to a habit instead of a task does take away some of the interpretation that exercise is just another form of work. Looking forward to exercise because it helps you achieve your weight loss goals is a healthier approach IMO.
Keep up your great progress!

You are bringing up some profound issues here, Kelli -- thanks so much for writing this. I have worries about people liking me better when I'm thinner and that being more "acceptable" is just so screwy it gets my back up. Mis73 thank you for pointing out that this is not a badge of courage but part of a shielding system I've had in place for a long time. I want people to like me/love me how I am, of course, but when it comes time to help me celebrate my newfound health I need to let go of these old hang ups. It's okay to look better even if the real objective is better health. It's okay to be pretty (I have never experienced that feeling and it's hard to write this).
Some one else pointed out somewhere that we all have a role and sometimes there is resistance from within as well as from our families, community etc. to a change in that role -- for whatever that is worth.

Hunger is the body's natural response to needing fuel. Hunger will never totally go away but once you're past the post op diet and have adequate fluid in your band, it will be very well controlled and you'll be able to go long periods of time on little food.
The post op diet is rough. The symptoms you're describing are pretty common especially on the liquid phase of it. It will get easier as you progress back to normal food but right now it's crucial you heal properly so you have to tough out the post op diet. Just remember, it's a temporary and brief bump in the road and will soon be behind you.

In case no one has figured it out...I am the husband LOL. I am happy Kelli has finally joined up on the site and she can hear things first hand from a woman's perspective/experiences. :-)

Thank you, all, for the feedback! It's good to see that others can relate. You've all given me some good advice and things to think about. I appreciate it.
@Dylan -- No. I never did the modelling. Also, Jim (my husband) has been amazingly supportive through all of this. We have done most of the classes together. At our center, the band is not popular (we call it the "red-headed step child") and where he was post-op, he was able to speak to the band and his success.

Can I say that I relate as well, but wanted to add that one thing I have learnt being 5 years post banding is that I never changed. On the outside? Yes. How people treated me? Definitely. But the fundamental part of me, who I was, who I am, remains the same. That doesn't change with the what you weigh.
The difference though between me and someone who was always thin is that I recognise that someone's weight doesn't define them. And it doesn't define me. Nor should it define you. Fat, thin, you will still be you.

I enjoyed reading your story. When I met with my original surgeon, long story, I said I felt like a failure because I needed the Band! She said I was not a failure but I was helping myself with a tool. She was right. I love my tool. I love no more 'fat stores'. I can fit into booths in restaurants and no longer have to ask for table and chairs. I can keep up with my grandsons. Don't think that getting the band means you are a failure and need help. We all need help everyday. In other ways.
By the way, did you ever model?
good luck with your choice. Maybe go to the support meetings with your husband. I go every month and most of the time my husband comes with me for support.

You know Kelli, I could tell a similar story and I'm a 60 year old man, as with many of us I found a way to accept the fat and moved on through life. I have just completed my research and made the decision to go with the band, more than the research I had to self examine why now and why I am willing to tackle something this extreme. For me it came down to being here for my wife and family as an active and healthy senior, as we head into retirement. It has taken a while for me to learn to want this and begin to feel comfortable with this decision. So I think it' s a process, you have to see what it does for your future, what it will do for the health you seek, and not acceptance of people who don't support us, even if it's family.

Some one somewhere here wrote about the people who want this more than anything and how that's what it takes. Here you are at that place -- very exciting. I am pre-band, waiting to begin -- maybe I'll be September, too! Best wishes!

You are bringing up some profound issues here, Kelli -- thanks so much for writing this. I have worries about people liking me better when I'm thinner and that being more "acceptable" is just so screwy it gets my back up. Mis73 thank you for pointing out that this is not a badge of courage but part of a shielding system I've had in place for a long time. I want people to like me/love me how I am, of course, but when it comes time to help me celebrate my newfound health I need to let go of these old hang ups. It's okay to look better even if the real objective is better health. It's okay to be pretty (I have never experienced that feeling and it's hard to write this).
Some one else pointed out somewhere that we all have a role and sometimes there is resistance from within as well as from our families, community etc. to a change in that role -- for whatever that is worth.

You are bringing up some profound issues here, Kelli -- thanks so much for writing this. I have worries about people liking me better when I'm thinner and that being more "acceptable" is just so screwy it gets my back up. Mis73 thank you for pointing out that this is not a badge of courage but part of a shielding system I've had in place for a long time. I want people to like me/love me how I am, of course, but when it comes time to help me celebrate my newfound health I need to let go of these old hang ups. It's okay to look better even if the real objective is better health. It's okay to be pretty (I have never experienced that feeling and it's hard to write this).
Some one else pointed out somewhere that we all have a role and sometimes there is resistance from within as well as from our families, community etc. to a change in that role -- for whatever that is worth.

You are bringing up some profound issues here, Kelli -- thanks so much for writing this. I have worries about people liking me better when I'm thinner and that being more "acceptable" is just so screwy it gets my back up. Mis73 thank you for pointing out that this is not a badge of courage but part of a shielding system I've had in place for a long time. I want people to like me/love me how I am, of course, but when it comes time to help me celebrate my newfound health I need to let go of these old hang ups. It's okay to look better even if the real objective is better health. It's okay to be pretty (I have never experienced that feeling and it's hard to write this).
Some one else pointed out somewhere that we all have a role and sometimes there is resistance from within as well as from our families, community etc. to a change in that role -- for whatever that is worth.

You are bringing up some profound issues here, Kelli -- thanks so much for writing this. I have worries about people liking me better when I'm thinner and that being more "acceptable" is just so screwy it gets my back up. Mis73 thank you for pointing out that this is not a badge of courage but part of a shielding system I've had in place for a long time. I want people to like me/love me how I am, of course, but when it comes time to help me celebrate my newfound health I need to let go of these old hang ups. It's okay to look better even if the real objective is better health. It's okay to be pretty (I have never experienced that feeling and it's hard to write this).
Some one else pointed out somewhere that we all have a role and sometimes there is resistance from within as well as from our families, community etc. to a change in that role -- for whatever that is worth.

Our stories are very similar!
Like you, I have been "the fat girl" my entire life. I can remember being as young as 5th grade and obsessed with how huge my thighs were. I remember being teased for being big all through junior high. I remember going shopping with my girlfriends in high school and being so ashamed because I couldn't wear anything at the "normal sized" shops they went to.
I did date as a teen but my self esteem was always awful. When I hit college, like you I decided to own being a fat girl. I had more self confidence and I decided I didn't give a rip if someone did like me for me- fat and all.
...but then I had my first child at 21 years old...and got bigger and bigger. Over the years I ballooned up to over 400 pounds. Any self esteem I ever had was long gone and my health was seriously tanking fast.
My best advice is to let go of that "fat girl" mentality. Too often we wear it like a suit of armor not a badge of courage. We're teased and tormented so severely we try to muster up all this false bravado to shield ourselves from being hurt yet again. It is simply wonderful you're doing this for your health- but you have to be ok with the fact there's nothing wrong with doing this to look good, too. You're not letting society or anyone else "win" by getting the Lap Band and losing weight. YOU are winning for taking control of your health so you can live a long, happy, healthy life with your husband.
Best wishes to you

Big changes must sometimes bring up a lot of stuff for the people around us. I worry about this in my usual way of banking anxiety in advance -- what will I say, what if people like me better when I'm thinner and that feels weird, unfair...etc. And so I love how out there you are with your colleagues -- it's inspiring me to be more open. Maybe. But just so you know I like the you on the left as well -- so glad for your health, your success -- congratulations on the results of all your hard work!

Big changes must sometimes bring up a lot of stuff for the people around us. I worry about this in my usual way of banking anxiety in advance -- what will I say, what if people like me better when I'm thinner and that feels weird, unfair...etc. And so I love how out there you are with your colleagues -- it's inspiring me to be more open. Maybe. But just so you know I like the you on the left as well -- so glad for your health, your success -- congratulations on the results of all your hard work!

Out of the mouths of babes......