Kitt3000

B-52 you are truly an inspiration to all of us, thank you for sharing that with us.????????

Never never never give up on yourself. Go to the doc, get a fill and get that band working for you. You deserve good health and success!!! We are all human. Climb back on that horse. We're here for you!

Hi there, put those medical professionals to work -- they are there for you! Please don't beat yourself up. You chose weight loss surgery because you want a healthy future -- that was a big decision. Pat yourself on the back for that and know that we all get where you're coming from and truly you are on your way. I am some one that needed several fills. No shame in that -- it's just science and how we all vary. At times I was (am) frustrated by how long it felt like it was all taking -- is taking -- but in truth I needed the time for all the behavioral adjustments I had to make. For me it was a process to really learn to notice everything and then to listen. A year later and I am amazed by the results. Getting that appetite monster off my back was a miracle but I needed the fills for that to happen. Otherwise it was just dieting and we all know how impossible that was and why we elected surgery. Good luck to you -- you're doing great.

Not un unusual, your body is in the healing adjusting phase. It can take five or more adjustment fills to get where you want to go. Each fill gives you the opportunity to adjust your eating habits, size of bite, time between bites, length of meal, quantity of meal , quality of your meal, no eating between meals, eating your allotted amount of Protein first, then veggies.
There are variations between doctors and fills. Some give larger/smaller amounts, some frequency of giving fills. Each one of us is different, each persons regime will be somewhat different. Try not to focus only on the scale, I know that is hard, but instead, use your energy to plan your food choices and amounts carefully, you need to move, exercise of some sort, you cannot out exercise a poor choice of diet.
It's ok. You are going to do fine if you give the process a chance to work. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line (again, I know we all want instant results) , but a new way of life. The band does not work as quickly as some other weight loss surgeries, patience and persistence should get you where you want to be.
All the best!

Not un unusual, your body is in the healing adjusting phase. It can take five or more adjustment fills to get where you want to go. Each fill gives you the opportunity to adjust your eating habits, size of bite, time between bites, length of meal, quantity of meal , quality of your meal, no eating between meals, eating your allotted amount of Protein first, then veggies.
There are variations between doctors and fills. Some give larger/smaller amounts, some frequency of giving fills. Each one of us is different, each persons regime will be somewhat different. Try not to focus only on the scale, I know that is hard, but instead, use your energy to plan your food choices and amounts carefully, you need to move, exercise of some sort, you cannot out exercise a poor choice of diet.
It's ok. You are going to do fine if you give the process a chance to work. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line (again, I know we all want instant results) , but a new way of life. The band does not work as quickly as some other weight loss surgeries, patience and persistence should get you where you want to be.
All the best!

Not un unusual, your body is in the healing adjusting phase. It can take five or more adjustment fills to get where you want to go. Each fill gives you the opportunity to adjust your eating habits, size of bite, time between bites, length of meal, quantity of meal , quality of your meal, no eating between meals, eating your allotted amount of Protein first, then veggies.
There are variations between doctors and fills. Some give larger/smaller amounts, some frequency of giving fills. Each one of us is different, each persons regime will be somewhat different. Try not to focus only on the scale, I know that is hard, but instead, use your energy to plan your food choices and amounts carefully, you need to move, exercise of some sort, you cannot out exercise a poor choice of diet.
It's ok. You are going to do fine if you give the process a chance to work. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line (again, I know we all want instant results) , but a new way of life. The band does not work as quickly as some other weight loss surgeries, patience and persistence should get you where you want to be.
All the best!

Just packed up all my oversized towels to bring down to Florida to use on the chaise lounges down at the pool. I replaced them all with 'regular' bath towels because the oversized ones are way too big for me. I can wrap it around me almost twice and I can't tuck it in because it's too heavy now.. Never thought I'd have to replace my towels of all things...

Sounds like you are where I am right now too. I'm trying to tough it out until Tuesday, but Gatorade G2 is my best friend right now. The first week was fine, had to change to new BP med, the pill is huge. Easy to get stuck. Now my band is feeling tight , painful, and having trouble eating more than one bite, or getting enough liquids. Arghhhh!

Stuffing yourself at Thanksgiving is no longer an option after bariatric surgery. Imagine a typical Thanksgiving meal. The Calorie Control Council estimates the average Thanksgiving meal can add up to 3,000 calories. The entire day can add up to over 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat. That’s 3 sticks of butter’s worth of fat.


Stuffing yourself at Thanksgiving is no longer an option after bariatric surgery. Imagine a typical Thanksgiving meal. The Calorie Control Council estimates the average Thanksgiving meal can add up to 3,000 calories. The entire day can add up to over 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat. That’s 3 sticks of butter’s worth of fat.
Check out www.caloriecontrol.org/articles-and-videa/feature-articles/stuff-the-bird-not-yourself to find the calorie content for typical Thanksgiving foods as well as healthier recipes.
How do you survive this calorie and volume challenge? First, remember you are a bariatric patient. Second, have a plan about what you can eat on Thanksgiving. Know what bariatric diet phase you need to follow.
If you are pre-surgery and not on the all liquid diet, practice chewing to applesauce and stop eating when you feel comfortably full. Remember, before surgery it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to recognize that your stomach is full. If this is your first Thanksgiving after surgery, consider skipping the main meal and joining the group for visiting later. If you are comfortable enough to join the gathering, bring your own food or Protein Shakes.
Consider bringing your own pumpkin Spice shake. Start with an 11 oz. ready to drink vanilla Protein Shake with at least 15-20 grams Protein or make your own. Mix together with 2 tablespoons canned, 100 percent pumpkin and ¼ teaspoon pumpkin pie spice mix. This is a shake you can have before the pre-surgery liquid diet or starting 6 weeks after surgery. May you have many blessings this Thanksgiving.

I want a pretty dress or two, and to be able to wear sleeveless tops when it's really hot.......I have already met some serious goals such as dancing the night away (twice!), wearing a fun little dress, getting my hair cut off, being out in the world and comfortable.....I'd like to secure the ropes on all that while getting off the next ten and the next and the next. That should do it as to goal, though I'm not sure what the number is going to be. I have strength and fitness goals -- dealing with some serious arthritic pain and it's winter here, too. I want to strengthen my core and while I've done a 5K I'd like to set my sites in smething a little more. I want to ride my bike more, the bike I just got this year. That was a goal, but now to really make friends with it this spring and summer. And fall. Okay, here's a real goal -- get through this winter feeling enthusiastic, proud of myself and in my body.

I have to admit, when I had surgery I tried to "temper" my dreams with reality -- telling myself I might be about to get to 160 or maybe even down to 150, but no lower. I didn't want to be disappointed. Now, I'm sitting here at 135 with a BMI of about 23 and wondering how that happened! I'm enjoying the smaller, cuter clothes and exercising like crazy. I feel like my body is finally on my side again!
But, like many of you, too, I'm looking forward to some beach weather! Not sure how the excess, wrinkly skin will be in a swimsuit, but I'm gonna rock one anyway!

My dream is to be able to ride all of the roller coasters at Dollywood this spring. I went with my husband and parents last spring and my husband skipped half the coasters because I couldn't fit in the seats and he didn't want to ride alone. We're going back with my parents and my sister's entire family in April and I am going to ride every coaster twice with my husband to make up for last year!

You know...just thinking about a nice warm walk on the beach, sand warm and squishy between my toes cool ocean breeze blowing with just a hint of refreshing mist...I would be wearing a bathing suit no matter what because well I just don't care what others think I know I look good
It just sounds like an awesome fantasy right now in this deep freeze!! I'd love to have the dogs running along the shore tossing a frisbee at them and playing fetch. That would be an added bonus!
So now I'll take my leave and get me to the Bariatric Doc and take another step closer to making dreams come true!!

I love this!!!
My dream is to be on the hunt field (fox hunting) riding my horse, laughing, as we canter and jump in the crisp fall air. My goal is to be back in the saddle by June.
LET'S DO THIS!!!!!
Jennifer

So here's the thing, Steve. We are all traveling the same "journey" -- we simply have different ways of getting to wherever our goal might be. One thing I can say with almost absolute certainty about this board is that we've all been fat, many of us most or *all* of our lives. We've all had our share of issues relating to and unrelated to our weight. I'd almost bet that we are all looking for better health, healthier relationships, love, friendships, acceptance, maybe online, maybe not.

Many people here have had MUCH easier lives than you, I'd bet, and many people here have had much harder lives. Something my grandmother used to tell me when I was complaining about whatever was happening in my life was that there is always going to be someone smarter, dumber, prettier, uglier, richer, poorer than you. We have no choice but to work with what we have been given and do the best with what we've got.
If you want to be here, I want you to be here. If you want to contribute and talk and chat and vent and Celebrate, fabulous! If you don't, if you think that this is an unhealthy place for you to be, then don't be here.

What I don't want for you, and I say this with all the sincerity I can muster, is for you to continue to tear down the potential to build some really great relationships. Do you know that I have met *in person* at least 10 people from this board, one of whom I consider one of my closest friends? I belong to an outside group with 50+ people from here, a group that I would not trade for the world as they are my closest allies in this struggle towards better health. These fabulous people that I can call friends (and yes, there are about 10 guys in that count) are the only people who can really understand what I am going through. They understand the fears, the joys, the struggles, the accomplishments... They understand how it feels to be constipated for a week and then have poop Soup for three days straight, to be able to eat chicken one day and then heave it up no matter how it's prepped for the next three. They get it when I am excited about a new pair of jeans or a new recipe. They get how great skinnier sex is and how I might feel about my loose skin flopping around when I Zumba. My non WLS friends are happy for me, too, but it's not the same.

I do not want you to lose that option here and I am afraid that you are working really hard towards that very end. It's OK for you to be on your journey just as it's OK for me to be on mine. Our goal is the same, but the path we are taking and the things we will see and experience along the way may or may not be the same. I won't judge you if you don't judge me and I won't be offended if you disagree with me as long as you agree to the same.

It's not OK to call names. It's not OK to tell people to "F off". It's not OK to tell people they are WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! and it's not OK to think that your way is the ONLY way.

It is ok, however, to share your experiences, your triumphs and your disasters. Make friends, Steve, I know you can.

Ten months ago today I was banded. Woo hoo! What a wonderful ten months it has been.
I'm feeling grateful for you folks today, and hopeful for 2015. My therapist tells me to dare to dream.
So today I'm daydreaming about summer 2015. Will I be at goal weight? I sure hope so! Gotta get this body moving more! I started walking the stairs at work as a planned exercise. Ten flights up and ten flights down each day. Too cold to walk outside.
Hope everyone is having a good day.

I don't know the origins of this particular pearl of wisdom, but I find it helpful: "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." It's in line with the Tony Robbins wisdom: "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." And another related idea, this one usually misattributed to Buddha: "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die".
They all get at the same thought - forgiveness and letting go are crucial to your own healing. I don't know how you do it, you just... do. I remember being amazed that a good friend was able to forgive her father for sexually abusing her as a child, to the point where they could have a relationship to benefit her mother in her final days. I am still astonished at her capacity for forgiveness, and was ashamed to acknowledge that I was hanging on to petty grievances on nowhere near that scale. I don't know how she did it, but I know she felt it was necessary to get past it in order to continue forward.
There are some good books on this topic that might help if there are particular actions you're having trouble forgiving. I know it takes practice and commitment, just like any hard thing.

I have read many responses here that say Forgive but don't forget...and I think that is where we keep holding on to the hurt and maybe even making it worse then the actual offense.
Yes there is a lesson here, but there are lessons everywhere in good things as well as bad. When you forgive someone for something you need to forget about it to move on. If you keep telling yourself that you have forgiven but you have not forgotten have you truly forgiven?
It's impossible because somewhere you are still remembering and harboring the feelings of hurt and pain. They may be buried deep down among the piles of forgiveness you have covered it with but it is still there festering like the potato in the pocket someone wrote about because you have not forgotten.
When we truly forgive and forget we are able to let go of the hurt. We are able to dissociate ourselves from the bad feelings about or toward that person; that behavior or ourselves. It becomes part of our past. We have learned and we have grown stronger in the experience of it. That does not mean that we need to keep harboring the thoughts of it to learn our lesson. If you refuse to forget you are still nailing yourself and your loved one to that proverbial cross every time you revisit it and experiencing the pain of it over and over again.
If you take this saying literally Forgive & Forget here are the definitions of both words.
Forgive:
To give up resentment against or stop wanting to punish (someone) for an offense or fault; pardon.
Forget:
To treat with thoughtless inattention; To banish from one's thoughts.
Makes sense doesn't' it?
It is in this way that we are removed of the burden that causes us to feel guilty or ill willed about an event or behavior that we have experienced. We can never un-live or un-learn it but we can choose to forgive, let go and forget.
Of course this is much easier said then done In forgetting we are relinquishing our need for control of ourselves and others.
I like this saying also when it comes to forgetting and letting go...when all else fails. Let go and Let God.
Give it over to a higher power, (what ever that is in your life) take a deep breath and know that you have done your best.

@@LumpySpacePrincess you are very wise with high emotional intelligence. A mentor long ago told me that she practices the rule of presumed innocence when I asked her how do I deal with some people. Presume the person doesn't know that they are <insert emotion here "hurting" "insulting" etc> you intentionally. Then you can start to detach your emotions from the situation and see the person in a different light.

I find that something truly hurts only if I love the person. And in this context I am talking about big hurts, not the ordinary kind. And we hurt each other, more than once. It was very protracted. But I felt that what he did to me was very very unfair and the retaliation was not equal to the hurt I caused him. This was not a romance but an important relationship to me. Sorry to be vague but I love the person and I have forgiven him, so I will not talk about him. Otherwise those negative feelings will begin to assault my tender heart again.
I tried to repair the relationship but he did not respond to my kindness. I waited. I waited some more. Then I grew depressed. I began to emotionally eat but I soon enough snapped myself out of that. Then I grew angry that he had been so unkind, so unloving, so unforgiving, so selfish, so < fill in the blank >.And I was going to hurt him back.
During this time I had been working on spiritual growth (I still am, actually). I wondered why this had happened? What was I supposed to learn from it? I don't believe in "I wish" statements. To me that is powerlessness. We cannot change the past. But we don't have to keep putting it in our present and ruining our future. We have the power to create our own destiny. So I did the work.
I met with a spiritual leader. I meditated (guided meditation). I read books, online articles, and did some journaling. I prayed to have the Holy Spirit fill me with love. And all of the sudden I could not hurt this person back. And I did not understand it at first because I have always been the type of person to get justice (not revenge, justice). I still believed with every Fiber of my being that what this person did was so very wrong and yet I was unable to hurt him back. And my spiritual leader explained it to me. He said that my soul loved his soul and that was the deepest love there is because I was sacrificing something gf myself for what was best for him.
I want to stay in this place of love. But this still hurts. I don't know if that is because I have not forgiven him or if I have not forgiven myself.

I have a very emotionally abusive, controlling ex-husband. His abuse was one of the reasons I let my binge eating disorder run rampant until I was well over 300 pounds. He would call me up and yell at me, telling me I was the reason he was late to work because I asked him a question before he left (nevermind that he'd left an hour late to begin with), or yelled at me that I was hiding the things he was looking for or throwing them away (I wasn't). After awhile, I started to realize all the insults and abuse he was throwing at me wasn't even about me, it was about how he felt he was so fragile he couldn't take responsibility for anything he did or his entire self concept would crumble into nothing.
I thought about this for a long time, and thought about how utterly miserable he must be within himself for him to lash out at others like that. Then I just felt sad for him, that he has to walk through life with the burden of such misery, how every day must be so difficult to walk around seething with such anger and hurt and depression.
Forgiveness for him wasn't an instant action. It took a long time after my realizations to really forgive him. It came in bits and pieces, and yes there were even times I took forgiveness back. After all, my emotions about the situation were still valid, and I was allowed to have them. The difference was I no longer allowed my feelings about my past to dictate how I lived in the future. To me, not forgiving him would have been like carrying around a daily reminder of his abuse for the rest of my life.
Think about it like this: carrying around negative emotions towards others is like putting a potato in your coat pocket. At first its hard and smooth and you don't mind sharing space with it. But what happens when its been there for a few months? It starts to grow eyes and take up more space, then it gets soft and starts to smell. As it continues to rot, it turns to mush and has now permeated the fabric of your coat, soaking through the layers and ruining everything around it. You want to stick your hand in your pocket to get warm but all you feel is stinky mush.
Throw the potato away before it turns to mush and you'll be much happier.

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"--Buddha
I'm just not going to give the other person that power. That's why I forgive. Period.

I believe that when I hold on to anger and bitterness, that I am hurting myself more than the person who wronged me. So for me, forgiveness is in my own best interest. However, that doesn't mean I will forget the wrong. And in the future I am less likely to give my trust to that person.

Forgiveness is far easier than forgetting, and forgiving can be the hardest thing you'll ever do. When you forgive someone, you release. You release the person(s) involved, and you release yourself from the sadness, anger, hate which all contribute to very harmful effects on YOU. Now, I agree with Elode, and believe as she does. But God did not make us stupid. Do NOT allow the same wrongs to happen to you again. Learn from the past, and carry on.

I think Gandhi's quote says it.
How can you forgive when you feel so disappointed and hurt - but that's a heavy load to carry and I find I am punishing myself more than all others when I stay there for very long. I get stronger by letting go but need to have the strength to do it.
While it doesn't excuse another's poor treatment of me (or you or anyone), I find taking responsibility for my contribution to the"problem" helps me get a bit past it.