Kitt3000

I left because I was bashed upon a ton by others at my same stage, who are veterans now, like me. I believe that this is a journey that is different for everyone and we should practice empathy and kindness. A lot of "newbies" have poor pre-op support. There are more and more wls docs now and not all of them give nutritional advice. Also, the mindset of having to eat on a rigid diet type regime forever post surgery simply won't work. People reach their goal weight and regain when they try and do that.
During my weight loss I did not always follow the rules. I certainly cut my caloric intake but I was never a perfect patient. I still lost to my goal and then some. Perhaps I had an easier time because I did allow myself some leeway. This is not an all or nothing journey. It's really hard to expect someone to live on a diet 100% of the time forever and be able to have any real quality of life.
Newbies are looking for advice and we can give it to them and still be kind and have empathy. Maybe they won't lose all their weight. Maybe they will regain. Maybe they will suffer. That's their journey. Who ever said being overweight was a crime anyway? Props to them for trying and for asking for advice.
I feel a moderate approach is always best and I feel many of the vets on here are rude, patronizing, and just plain mean- all in the name of "tough love". You know what? Sometimes it's better to just give a little love. Weight issues are painful. Be kind.
I'm here to help who ever I can with what I've learned and I refuse to judge anyone else's life decisions.

I just love that saying, " not my circus, not my monkeys" !! Laughing still...

It's really interesting with the changes in style and vanity sizes over the years. Here is what I did. First if I did not love it, it was donated right away. Next, I wear jeans almost every day, but each pair was different in fit, I admit, I just donated all except one pair in each size. Some I never wore because I passed right by that size. I kept all of my polo t shirts, another item I wear almost every day, because Tshirts material is very forgiving when it come to stretch. Whatever next seasons (coats) - you likely will only need one, get rid of the rest. You are probably getting my drift by now. Get rid of everything except for two or three like items and sizes. Once you loose your weight, you are going to want new small great looking clothes because there are going to be choices you have never had before. I would clean the closet out to zero, even shoes, because believe it, your shoe size is going to change. Have a great yard sale, include purses and accessories, display as best you can, then save the money for new items. I literally had thousands of dollars of clothes in fab condition, mostly designer lable. This maximized my return. Facebook is a good idea for photo and selling items, it's just going to take a little time to do pictures and set up delivery & payment. 99% of my closet was empty, but it was so freeing! A new me deserved new clothing in great colors that fit my new body, because man does it change! There were some items that were new with tags that I was able to donate to a club for silent auction that was very satisfying as well. If you can make three piles keep, donate, sell, only look at it for less than a minute and decide. If you had great memories attached to it-take a picture of it. I look at closet space like real estate- it is high dollar limited space, only so much can go in, only keep or buy it because you love it, not because it was a good price. Good luck, have fun with your new dress up fashion show!!

It's really interesting with the changes in style and vanity sizes over the years. Here is what I did. First if I did not love it, it was donated right away. Next, I wear jeans almost every day, but each pair was different in fit, I admit, I just donated all except one pair in each size. Some I never wore because I passed right by that size. I kept all of my polo t shirts, another item I wear almost every day, because Tshirts material is very forgiving when it come to stretch. Whatever next seasons (coats) - you likely will only need one, get rid of the rest. You are probably getting my drift by now. Get rid of everything except for two or three like items and sizes. Once you loose your weight, you are going to want new small great looking clothes because there are going to be choices you have never had before. I would clean the closet out to zero, even shoes, because believe it, your shoe size is going to change. Have a great yard sale, include purses and accessories, display as best you can, then save the money for new items. I literally had thousands of dollars of clothes in fab condition, mostly designer lable. This maximized my return. Facebook is a good idea for photo and selling items, it's just going to take a little time to do pictures and set up delivery & payment. 99% of my closet was empty, but it was so freeing! A new me deserved new clothing in great colors that fit my new body, because man does it change! There were some items that were new with tags that I was able to donate to a club for silent auction that was very satisfying as well. If you can make three piles keep, donate, sell, only look at it for less than a minute and decide. If you had great memories attached to it-take a picture of it. I look at closet space like real estate- it is high dollar limited space, only so much can go in, only keep or buy it because you love it, not because it was a good price. Good luck, have fun with your new dress up fashion show!!

That is such a hard situation to be in. I'm assuming your sister knows you had the surgery?
If so, you are an obvious testament to how the surgery can literally change her life and turn things around for the better. I don't know if there is much else you and your brother can do besides continue to be a living, breathing example of a way she can prolong and change her life when and if she decides she's ready.

I'm not so much looking for advice because there's nothing I can do about this but I am really starting to worry about my sister. She is morbidly obese and I know that she has co-morbidities such as diabetes and hypertension. I can also see that she has trouble climbing steps and just moving normally due to her size.
I also know that her joints are starting to bother her and while she is still much more mobile than I was at her size, she is heading down a very bad path and all she has to do to know that is to look at my scars from my bilateral hip replacement.
My brother drove me home last night after we spent the day at my sister's apartment. My brother is a runner and in fantastic shape for a man of his age. I look and feel better than I have in 20 years. While driving me home, he told me of his concern for our sister's health. That scared me because he really does think her heart will give out if she does not start to take care of herself.
I've been asked by both my dad and my doctor to speak to my sister about her weight and see if I can convince her to do what I did. I've already said that I would never do that and I won't. I know that if the situation was reversed, I'd hate it if my sister came to me even as a loving sister only concerned with my health and tried to talk to me about my weight.
No one can make or even influence this decision for someone else. I know my sister will have to go through something bad in order to face having to make such a huge lifestyle change. I also know that she may die early because she doesn't want to do anything at this time. I love my sister and she is my best friend. I am starting to allow myself to think about her not being around for our retirement. It makes me so sad and afraid and yet I am unable to change anything.
Anyway, I just wanted to vent. Again, there is nothing any of you can offer in terms of advice but I did want to share. I know others have or are going through this with their own loved ones.

I'm am truly sorry for your loss. When you posted how proud your dad was of you and he was going to take you shopping it actually made me cry because it made me think of my dad. I've never lost someone so close to me so I don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you. I don't know your background but I always read my Bible and pray when I need help coping with any trial. 2 Cor. 1: 3, 4

In all honesty, my dad, probably same generation? Would have said, this is what's being made, eat it or not, your choice. It's what their parents did, some even born during depression years when if you had anything to eat, it was a blessing.
Having said that, I have vegetarian sibs, one veg child, one super clean eater, one only organic, free range etc.. So, I do the best I can, but sometimes, all it takes is asking, could you set aside some sauce only for the vegetarian, sauce and organic or free range etc... And it works out. The other option is bringing your own version and not missing out on quality family time. I see my sibs about once a year, and it always saddens and disappoints me, when the one who is strictly organic refuses to come, possibly because something was prepared incorrectly. Part of the problem was so many family functions revolve around food, because let's face it, everyone has busy work, school, athletics, etc... But everyone needs to eat, and feed our relationships too. Good luck to you, you are right in that it gets easier the longer you are on your path to health!

Mornings are typically a hectic time in most households. The snooze button on the alarm is tempting and time seems to slip away with all jobs to do before you head off to work. Too often, thinking ahead and planning something suitable for lunch is not part of the busy morning schedule. Lunchtime rolls around and you are left heading to the local deli, bakery or café, navigating menus and trying to dodge the many tempting options on offer. Not only does this cycle take its toll on your wallet, but also makes it very hard to stay on track with your health goals.


Now is the time to step out of the above cycle and start planning and preparing some tasty, fresh and healthy weight loss surgery friendly lunches. The trick is to PLAN AHEAD, so that all you have to do during the morning rush is ‘grab and go’, making taking your lunch to work the easy option.
To ensure your lunch is going to keep you satisfied, use the following formula:

lean Protein + low GI carbohydrates + salad or vegetables


Prepare Ahead Options
I like to put time aside on a Sunday to prepare lunch items for the week ahead: salads, frittata, mini quiches, meatballs and patties all work well.
Some ideas to get you started include:
Rice salad: Combine prepared ‘Rice Plus’ (a blend of white and black basmati rice, quinoa, barley and other grains), finely diced capsicum and celery, dried cranberries and mixed seeds (including sunflower and pumpkin). Dress with soy, fresh ginger, lemon and a little oil and top with a grilled chicken tenderloin.
Meatballs: Prepare lean mince, chicken or turkey meat balls and bake in the oven. These can be frozen then taken for lunch with a fresh prepared salad.
Vegetable and egg crustless quiche: Grate zucchini and carrot, dice capsicum, Tomato and mushroom and place in baking dish. Pour in a tub of cottage cheese, half a cup of grated cheese and a mixture of 6 eggs with one quarter cup of low fat milk. Bake for 30 – 40 minutes until golden.

Leftovers
Leftovers can make great lunches, when serving up your dinner get into the routine of dishing up an extra serve into a container ready for the next day – just watch your portion.
Grab and Go
There are lots of options you can either have on hand at work or quickly grab in the morning for days you haven’t been able to be prepared. Following are some ideas to get you started:
Grainy crackers with:
small (approximately 100g) tin of flavored tuna
cottage cheese
sliced cheese
nut paste
hummus.
[*]Wrap or grainy bread with:

tinned tuna or salmon and salad
hard boiled eggs (boil ahead and keep on hand in the fridge) and salad
baked Beans and grated cheese.



If you need Snacks over the day don’t forget to take these too, or that vending machine/charity basket/staff room cake can undo all your hard work. Some ideas to get you started include:
fruit
yoghurt
30-40g nuts
hard- boiled egg
cheese and crackers.

Either you can't keep track of who you are disagreeing with, or there are two therapists in this thread, because I'm the former therapist. But if there are two of us, hello therapist buddy!
Earlier you said 'sorry for your loss', again I think there is some confusion - I have MS, but I'm not dying. I'm not professionally frustrated either - I'm a stay at home mom now, and I find that to be really fulfilling. I don't need internet forums for surrogacy for my former profession, because while I mention it when it's relevant, it's not how I define who I am. And I'm not here for drama either - I get enough of that with the MS.
I came here because I was raised to know that you don't kick someone when they are down. Depression, frustration, and loss of willpower are not weaknesses, they are normal human responses to overwhelming stress and change. So when I see someone getting kicked when they are down, someone struggling to keep their head above Water being deliberately shoved back under the surface, I step in to provide defense and support. It's instinctual, a fundamental part of who I am, its been automatic my whole life. In a supposedly supportive environment, I don't know how not to do it. I responded flippantly only because it seemed that that's how the OP viewed the situation, based on their post. It was not some drama heightening technique, it just seemed to be the way the OP wanted discourse. I don't want pandering in this group, it does no one any good, but neither do I want people being vicious simply because being anonymous strips away consequences. I see it over and over and over on the internet, and while that is how it is some places, places of 'support' are not it, unless they are defined that way from the start - which this group isn't.
"If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen." Yes, duh. But what if the kitchen had a big sign that said "when you are frustrated and exhausted and you just can't bear it anymore, come on in, you'll find support here."
Be honest - if we were all physically in a room, and one of us was crying because of the stress and the overwhelming change in her life - would you tell her to leave, that she was too weak to be a part of the group?
I'm just so done. It's so stupid, the more I explain myself, the less you'll listen. Really, I only still respond because there may be someone quietly reading who needs the support, who needs to know that someone empathizes with them and why they're here. Since this got moved off the main board, I probably don't have to worry about that anymore.

You rock!

It has nothing to do with weakness. Depression is a physiological phenomenon, a biochemical mechanism that can be stirred up by huge life change and/or major trauma. It doesn't make sense, it's not always rational, and that's because ration is not a feature of the brain structures that control emotion. They operate independently of our rational mind. When someone's mind is already off kilter due to major life changes and maladaptive biochemical processes, something a simple as a post on a website really can be a kick in the teeth. That's because the mind is already reeling from these changes. It can take time for a person to get sorted out, to mentally get back on their feet to the point that they can just dismiss ridiculous comments on the web. We're all human, and so we are all vulnerable, we can all be stressed when someone, even a stranger on the internet, pushes on our weak spots or kicks us when we are down.
Frankly, in this day and age, with the widespread knowledge of depression and its causes, I'm shocked that you don't know all of this. I used to be a therapist, and most of my patients had at least some basic knowledge like this before they even sought out care.
I hope your post doesn't scare off people who are, however temporarily, in a dark place, and are sensitive to comments, on the internet or otherwise. It is absolutely normal to feel the way they do and experience sensitivity to the opinions of others. I mean, the opinions of others are exactly why we are all here!

You rock!

(Re-printed from my Surgeon's website)
1. Your co-worker heard a strange noise and doesn’t bat an eye…knowing it was your stomach.
Patients often ask me why their new pouch makes odd gurgling noises. It could be too big of bites or eating too quickly. It could also just be your stomach moving around and making noises for all to hear
2. You have a space heater under your desk in the middle of July.
It may be in part to losing some “insulation” but many postop wls patients are colder than they’ve ever been using more blankets at night and space heaters to keep warm.
3. Your alarm just went off for the third time today to remember your next Vitamin.< /b>
While bariatric Vitamins have become much more simpler in recent years, it still takes reminders to get in your vitamins. Your family might even hear the alarm and hand you your calcium!
4. Protein is always first on your mind at your meals – it might as well be plastered inside your forehead.
Protein…protein..where’s the protein? Protein is what fills you up and keeps you full! You get the most out of your surgery when you focus on lean and solid protein sources.
5. Your waitress keeps asking if the food is okay. And if you’re sure you don’t want a drink.
When you can only eat an ounce or so, the wait staff may think something is wrong with the food. And what do you mean you don’t want anything to drink??
6. Your pants are barely holding on but you’re still holding off to go shopping.
Just make sure you don’t carry a heavy object and walk up a flight of stairs. At least not around anyone
7. Speaking of shopping, you still go to the plus sized section first out of habit.
It’s hard to wrap your mind around your new body. Leave plenty of time and stay patient with yourself as you find out what size your body is. Take a good friend to be your “runner” and someone to talk it out with.
8. You get overjoyed at the release of a new Protein Bar flavor…or a sale on your favorite Protein Bars.< /strong>
Quest® has a new flavor?!?!??! Ahhhhh!!!!!!
9. You rejoice at the small things like crossing your legs or getting a pair of boots that zip up your calves.
Some things you’ll never take for granted again. It may seem like nothing to others, but to you it’s something big.
10. You use lingo like “wls”…”bariatric friendly”…”pouch”…”vsg”…
You gotta know the lingo to be in the club!
11. You smile as you think of how far you’ve come and get excited to think of where you’ll be soon.
Patients wonder why they didn’t have their surgery sooner.

Not un unusual, your body is in the healing adjusting phase. It can take five or more adjustment fills to get where you want to go. Each fill gives you the opportunity to adjust your eating habits, size of bite, time between bites, length of meal, quantity of meal , quality of your meal, no eating between meals, eating your allotted amount of Protein first, then veggies.
There are variations between doctors and fills. Some give larger/smaller amounts, some frequency of giving fills. Each one of us is different, each persons regime will be somewhat different. Try not to focus only on the scale, I know that is hard, but instead, use your energy to plan your food choices and amounts carefully, you need to move, exercise of some sort, you cannot out exercise a poor choice of diet.
It's ok. You are going to do fine if you give the process a chance to work. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line (again, I know we all want instant results) , but a new way of life. The band does not work as quickly as some other weight loss surgeries, patience and persistence should get you where you want to be.
All the best!

How great to spread the good energy on going forward. ????really insightful Because what's left behind....didn't work
We all have chapters yet to be written

I have never met such a strong group of people as are here on this forum. I am honered to know each and every one. @@JustWatchMe, I have been following your story and am in awe of your strength and determination.
I am so glad to call you friend and so happy for you for taking this important step to get your life back. You are an amazing woman. Congratulations on each and every accomplishment.
Liz

Today is my one year bandiversary. I am at the lowest weight I have been in decades. I started at 302 and today weigh 194. I've lost 108 pounds and have just under 50 to go. Almost all of the weight so far was lost in the first 7 months. Then I bounced around with the same five pounds up and down for the next five months.
This past two weeks I became energized again and I now believe I will make it to my goal weight this summer.
Life with the LapBand is incredible. Although the band doesn't stop me from overeating (that's my job) or from choosing high calorie foods, it does help me to stay satisfied on less food for several hours. In other words, the hunger that always derailed all of my previous dieting attempts is solved. The band takes care of hunger between meals. All I have to do is ... everything else.
Everything else means choosing solid Protein and passing up carbs. Limiting alcohol which is pure sugar and has the added side effect of allowing me to feel it's ok to nibble while I drink.
Everything else means no snacking between meals. Snacking wakes up my hunger.
Everything else means no tv eating. Ever.
Everything else means walking. Taking the stairs. Every day and lots of times a day.
Everything else means saying no to helpful people who suggest just one bite won't hurt. I know better.
Everything else also means ...
... Working on the reasons I turn to food instead of to people.
... Seeing a therapist twice a month.
... Going to OA and to CoDA.
... Believing in success and never letting go of the goal.
I didn't get WLS to be prettier or sexier.
I didn't even really get it because of all of my health problems -- high blood pressure. sleep apnea. GERD. Debilitating osteoarthritis. Swelling in my feet and legs. A dozen different medications to take each morning. Horrible lower back pain.
I got WLS because my life had narrowed to unbearable dimensions, where I found myself at age 53 in an emotionally abusive marriage with a raging narcissist. Marriage counseling failed. I ate every night into what I call my food coma. If I had my food, all the chaos around me would temporarily go away. Until it didn't.
I knew that I could never get myself and my college age girls out of that environment while I kept eating. I had to stop. I couldn't stop. But I had to stop.
I looked into WLS and started the process. My husband was coldly critical but didn't say much. I didn't ask permission. My daughters were very supportive.
I got my surgery. I started exercising. I dropped weight quickly and felt better immediately.
A few months later, when his rage escalated, I took my girls and the dog and left him. I haven't looked back. My divorce is in process and it's the most painful thing I've ever done. He continues to try to manipulate the three of us from afar and has stalled the divorce at every turn. It's costing me a fortune. It's worth every penny.
I stopped losing weight five months ago. Last week my divorce therapist and I talked about this. My identity as a wife - poof. My identity as a mom - fragile with my girls away at college. They don't need me every day anymore. My identity as a daughter - in extreme flux since I'm living with my mother right now. She has control and anger issues herself, and that's a daily struggle. I spend a lot of time outside of the house. It's time to focus on my new identity.
My head is back in the game today. I'm making better choices. I'm making new friends and finding social things to do instead of living like a hermit. I'm working on the underlying psychological issues that allowed me to live for years as if I didn't matter.
I know that without WLS I would have never stopped eating. If I'd never stopped eating, I would still be on that couch, waiting to die.
I am proud of the changes I made in the last year. It is so much more than going down in size. I have truly recovered my self. The self that I buried under food all of my life.
I'm scared witless about finding a new house and starting over. I'm scared to make decisions for myself. I was told my whole life that I didn't know what was best for myself. I don't believe that anymore.
Today I know better. I know that I made a good decision getting my LapBand and I made a good decision leaving and filing for divorce. I will make good decisions when it comes to a new home and taking care of my new body.
I see threads on here often asking if WLS changes a relationship or harms a marriage. I'm one person who got WLS because I needed the strength to do what I knew I had to do.
Happy surgiversary to me. My whole life has changed and I couldn't be more grateful.

You go girl!
I went to my 10 year HS reunion during the twenty minutes I was thin at age 28. It was amazing. I danced with a guy I had a crush on years before, and we won the twist contest. (He's an amazing dancer and I just reaped the benefits of it!)
On my way out of the party I met my future husband. Although that relationship has had a recent turn, back then it was a very happy ending to a very happy evening!
Enjoy every minute!

Woo Hoo!! I got an email invite to a work reunion on the 26th. I've seen a number of these folks since I left the company in 2007 so many of them have seen me both larger and smaller. But for those who I haven't seen in a while...oh boy!!! I can't wait to walk into that bar and soak up the compliments.
I know I've said in the past that I don't care to be scrutinized even if it's positive but I'm not looking to show these folks up...they were all very kind to me no matter what my size. I just want to share my success with them and I can't wait till the get together.
What a change up from getting invites to things and the first thing I think about is 'can I get there with the pain I'm in?' or 'what in the world will I wear (fit into)' I bet it will be a blast.

Hi Jake, good luck to you -- here's to a new spring and summer of health. It will be great to have these issues behind you. Let us know how it all goes! Best wishes.

I'm sorry for the loss of your band, but I appreciate you sharing this important story with us. Good luck to you!

I saw the new surgeon with my UGI results today. The lapband must be removed due to esophagus and pouch dilation. Yes, pouch dilation is a real complication. I am getting sleeve revision during the same removal surgery in 3 weeks. I have an enormous amount of mixed feelings, but, I know one thing and that is, I will be forever grateful to the band because it saved my life and I made a promise if I were to lose the band, I would never bash the band or become a band hater or make anyone feel like the band was a bad decision! Facts are facts, when I signed on the dotted line, I knew that this type of surgery, like all others, had potential complications and it was my decision to take a gamble on the band. Period! I become angered with the opinions of others that don't understand what a banded person goes through. As it has been said again and again that support sites, we mainly hear about the negative or about issues and we don't hear much about the very successful banded people that have been banded many, many years and don't post on these site often. I definitely have no regrets!I I will miss the band! The only thing that I will say is that I thank God that I have insurance that covered most of my fills, checkups and now revision. I can't even imagine if I were out of coverage. If complications are becoming more pronounce with the band, Ehthicon should provide help for people that no longer have insurance coverage or help push for affordable bariatric insurance coverage. Just my opinion.
Did I fail the band? I'll take some responsibility, but not all. I think of myself as a compliant band patient, but who knows anymore. I have talked about my severe allergies and massive drainage in multiple posts. I will reiterate - if you have severe allergies - the band is NOT for you. I will admit that at one short period of time, I became non-compliant with the rules especially with not eating slow and chewing well and stretched my pouch the first time. I had a deflate for 6 weeks and pouch shrunk back to normal. Once you've stretched the pouch once, it will probably happen again. I started measuring my meals to prevent pouch stretching, but, allergies continued which probably contributed to pouch and esophagus dilation. On top of this, the revision doctor tells me that I was fitted with a standard size Allergan band and I probably should have been fitted with a large, which makes the most sense. May be why I could only hold 2.2cc's at most without being too tight. With all the fills, unfills due to allergies, which were always done under fluoroscopy, my band doctor checked my band frequently and is why we found my issue early enough. If you don't get anything out of my post, Please, Please have the band checked at least once a year.
I want to thank many of you for your help and suggestions that you offered in my many times of distress. Be well, Be safe and most of all Be respectful to one another and beware of opinions of others. Remember a very successful banded person is not a doctor! Always, check with your doctor when you are not sure. The "know it alls" mean well, but they are way off at times. I will probably not be coming back here as often because I joined a band to sleeve revision support group and am enjoying the respect and compassion they seem to all have in common. Good luck in your journeys and may God bless each one of you! Jake

First, let me say, I am so happy for you to finally have the professional help and support that you needed from the start. Some people on the board will not understand this, hey did you not do your research on the dr/ facility better, bla, bla, bla! Bottom line is, it happens folks! Band is placed and no follow up, no nutritionist, no support group.
My opinion, is just that, an opinion. It actually sounds like you are in a good place. If you are hungry, eat, if you are not, don't. If you throw up, do a few days of liquids to let that irritation settle down. Put your eating utinsel down after every bite. Most importantly, savor each bite of whatever you choose to eat. Don't fight your band, if it's saying no way today, well, try another day. Drink your Water 1/2 hour or so before your meal, stop putting a glass of something in front of you until you can ignore it. Haha, in a restaurant, fill it full of salt water- that will teach you quick!
You can live off your body fat for at least 6 months or more, take your Vitamins, eat what you can, enjoy seeing the scale go down, and then start to figure out nutrious foods and drinks. Most did not get obese by eating healthy. ???? I'm thrilled for you! Now go for it!

Sounds like you are where I am right now too. I'm trying to tough it out until Tuesday, but Gatorade G2 is my best friend right now. The first week was fine, had to change to new BP med, the pill is huge. Easy to get stuck. Now my band is feeling tight , painful, and having trouble eating more than one bite, or getting enough liquids. Arghhhh!