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Threetimesacharm

Gastric Bypass Patients
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    Threetimesacharm reacted to LifetimeLoser for a blog entry, just a rant about the forums   
    First off, I don't believe in being coddled. I understand people post on forums because they are looking for moral support or advice, but sometimes they expect too much. What I mean to say is if someone posts on a forum, then they need to expect to be supported even if it means being challenged! I can understand if the person posting is doing everything right to a tee and still not losing weight or hitting stalls, then yes they do need complete moral support because they are not in control. It might be metabolic, hormonal, genetic etc.
    The people I am talking about are those that don't get enough protein in, eat too many carbs, don't exercise enough and then complain on the forums. I see it quite a bit actually and usually just refrain from answering. In general, the same people posting and whining, are the same ones that get offended when others offer constructive criticism on why his or her weight loss has stalled or is slow.
    Being coddled will get you know where. If you really are in this to lose weight, then you should be willing to listen to the things you "might" not be doing right. We all know everyone is different, but when it comes to weight loss there is a general trend that works BETTER than other ways. Of course, there is a respectful way of disagreeing. I don't agree with the name calling, or yelling, or the "i did it this way and I lost this much weight". In a recent forum, I witnessed someone trying to tell the original poster that they didn't think what they were doing was working for them and offered advice. He wasn't disrespectful in any way. It just sounded like he disagreed. Well, the original poster got upset and then it all went downhill. It kind of got out of hand and everyone started chiming in. It was like the original poster just wanted to hear things that supported her, and nothing else.
     
    I think people just need to understand that sometimes being challenged and having someone disagree with you is in support. Would you want to go to the doctor and have them tell you there is nothing wrong with you just to make you feel better? Wouldn't you want the doctor to help figure out what is wrong with you and what you can do to get better? Granted, most of us are not doctors, but you get what I am saying?
     
    Having a vertical sleeve is a very personal experience. Some people get it and lose weight effortlessly. Others have to work harder and try everything possible to lose weight at a faster rate. If you have a question or a concern and post it on a forum, then you must be willing to get responses both agreeing and disagreeing, but all supportive. If you are looking for people who will simply shake his or her head "yes" to everything you say, then make a friend and send private messages. You can live happily in your bubble of only hearing what you want.
     
     
    *Note: I am not a "yes" woman. I am going to tell you what I did and what I helped and give you suggestions in a nice way. If I think you are doing something that isn't healthy or could stall your weight loss, then I am going to let you know because I would rather truly help you than watch you struggle and whine and complain. This is the type of friend I am and those are the type of friends I want.

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