Kime-lou

Amazing- I gotta get back on the losing trend

I just said I had to have stomach surgery. Had gallbladder the year before. My boss didn't say anything except ok.

I lost weight while on night shift, not sure why, but here is what I did. Ate a meal before going in or either took it with me to eat after report and rounds. Then I would eat a little something after midnight rounds. Then after I got off I would eat Breakfast (Light- fruit and or yogurt) and go to sleep. I was always drinking something, which was good and bad. On slow nights going potty was something to do. On crazy nights (think full moon) I would think my eyes would float before I could get to potty. I tried to rotate between coffee and crytal light in very cold Water. To much caffine can make some people more hungry. For Snacks it was all fruit. Try adding flax seed and or wheat germ to meals, yougurt, cereal- this helps you stay full longer and has a lot of nutrients. When I left the hospital and went to a "normal" job, I gained about 40 lbs. Go figure.

It was hard to face reality a year and a half ago, they I was just shy of 250 lbs and had to do something to stop it before I hit 300. The first year I must say was the honeymoon period with my band. I felt like I hardly had to work at losing weight, it just fell off. It was wonderful and exciting. Then bang- my one year aniversary hit and my weight loss came to a streeching halt- the band's fault- nope mine. The first year, was easy because my weight was high and I was eating far less that what it takes to keep that weight. I couldn't eat as much as normal- so I lost weight. As the weight came off, I hit the titration point- I had finally lost down to the amount that my eating was matched. Now, I have to face reality, I can keep going with what I am doing and stay in the same zone. I can, make changes- eat even less and or add exercise. The thing is, at this point, it's not going to be so easy. Now I must really work at it. I, also, must deal with weakness in myself, that I never really got rid of. Stress makes me want to eat. Last night as I lay watching TV with the hubs (Ziva's last episode on NCIS) I started thing, boy I want a snack. The thing was I wasn't hungry. I didn't need to eat anything. However, I gave into the weakness and went and got a bowl of ice cream. It slapped me in the head as I sat the empty bowl down in the sink, that I had just done something I would have done pre-band. That was not good- I have to nip that in the bud now. Will it be easy, no, but I must do it to maintain and to further succeed on my journey. I know what I must do, I know what I need to do, yet I have not done it for months. Now, it's time to pull on the big girl panties and make some difficult choices and changes. It's time to face the music, because the reality it, if I go back to old way I will gain back all I have lost. The reality is I must, for my health, for my future, for my peace of mind- I must make these changes. Is it my band failing me, no, it is myself and my human weakness trying the make me fail. But, here is the thing- I have the power to stop it, to change it, to change it now before it goes to far. Yeah, I may have lost even more if I would have gone with the sleeve or bypass, but I likely would have run into the same stumbling block at some point. I hope I can do this!

Thanks ladies. I had some homemade icecream left from a family reunion on Saturday. I love my homemade vanilla. I was good only one snack today- small meals and tried to listen to my body - drink when I'm not sure if it's hunger or not- eat only when really hungry. Thankfully I was able to keep my sugar in control today!! Starting to feel a little better and controlling my sugar better, by being careful to eat more protein and few carbs.

I went home, to my home church, for Homecoming yesterday. The pastor spoke on being sucessful. He said in order to be a success at anything we have to admit our issues, deal with them and let them go- you can't look back and forward at the same time. Sometimes, I admit I hold on to the past to much. At 186 I still see myself at 240. It's hard to admit that I look pretty good now, because if I do I might slip up and go backward. My weight loss has stopped since summer, I have stayed in the 186-189 range. With stress, the NUT says that is good. I haven't gained- true, but I haven't lost either. I realize the definition of insanity, is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result. I do make better choices when it comes to my diet, but not the best choices. With the band I physically can not eat the amount I use to, but I don't always chose the healtiest option. I must get better at this. I know that exercise can make a huge difference, but I have yet to really settle into a work out routine. The occasional workout is BS. I walk a couple times a week and I work in the yard at least one day a week. Yes, I stay busy, most of the time. But, I know after I finish the dishes at night- I need to do something physical instead of getting my shower and crashing in front of the boob tube. Right now, I am not having issues with eating to much at the time, but to much over all. While I am not diabetic, my body is having trouble keeping my sugar levels regulated. I pretty much have to eat every 2 hours or risk getting shakey and passing out. It doesn't seem to have a bearing on what I eat. Last week, I got really bad off. I started talking out of my head- my sugar was in the 30's. A friend of mine just moved back here and she is a ER doc- she finally just got a Twix bar and made me eat it. It still took about 30 min for me to come totally out of it. I have got to see an endocranologist for test, but can't get an appointment until Dec. So until then I must eat something every 2 hours. So I have my phone set to go off- Even during the night I have hard candy by my bed to eat one when I go potty- this ensures when I do get up I can function. This totally sucks and I know it has nothing to do with my band, but still make things difficult. Work has been rough for a few months now and it isn't getting better, so with everything going on it really gets me down in the dumps. My husband is great encouragement, but he is busy to with his two jobs. I know I must now get back to basics and teach my self yet a new routine, so my body gets what it needs, not to much, but enough and timed so I can keep everything in balance. I must look forward- I can't ask myself why, how, or whine about the circumstances I find myself in- I must look forward, develop a new plan of action and empliment. Any of you have issue like this that can offer advice?

Try using wheat germ or flax seed in the place of bread crumbs- they are very healthly and you don't notice the taste in a dish such as this.

Some people don't have any issues when they fly, other have major issues. I, fall in the ladder. I carry Protein powder so I can mix a Protein shake when I get where I am going. Not much aside from liquid or yogurt goes down after a flight with me. But, I am able to sip Water while on a flight. Last time I sipped on a hot cup of coffee and that really helped me from getting to tight when we landed. Have a safe trip

My weight has pretty much been at a stale mate since around June. I have stayed in the zone between 186-189. I weigh daily, each AM in the good ole B-day suite. Last week, while awaiting my monthly visitor I jumped to 190, then the next day 187- go fig- horomones, gotta love 'em. Basically, I keep getting told that I should pat myself on the back for not gaining. True I haven't gained during a very stressful time in my life. However, on June 22, 2012 I had lapband surgery to lose weight. At that time I want to get to 175, so currently I am around 11 lbs shy of the original goal. As my weight fell off the first few months, with what seemed to be little effort, I changed my goal to 140. At this point I fear I will never make it to my ultimate goal. At this point and time I can also say, shamefully, that I do little to make my goal attainable. I don't exercise daily like I know I should- I wouldn't say I am lazy. I move, a lot, I just don't have a regimented exercise routine, that I know would help me pull toward my goal. I, also, eat pretty much what I want. I eat pizza, cake, cookies, pie, ice cream, meals- I just don't eat as much as I did pre-surgery- I don't think it is possible. I do attempt to make things healthier- like cutting salt, eating lean meats, eatting less process foods and carb- but I don't make a huge effort to eat like a rabbit as my hubby calls it. I have come a long ways- 60 lbs down from my highest- but yeah I want more, but I am finding motivation to move forward hard to come by. I have been in a 14 all summer, but now they are a little loose and I can wear some 12's. That is great, don't know how that is happening, but my body much be reshaping. I know that while I am not being hard core, I am doing something to at least maintain where I am. This morning I promised myself to make a concious effort to do better in the coming week so hopefully in the next month I can drop to 185. I am not 100% sure how I am going to do it, basically I am going to take it day by day- meal by meal- make better choices as time moves forward. I want to be realistic and do things that I can continue, knowing that if I go to rabbit food for weeks, I may loose weight, but I won't be able to maintain that. So I recommit, today I will begin with each bite to make better choices and to start listening a little closer to my bodies singles of satisfaction. This is a battle I know I will fight every day for the remainder of my life, but in order to have a life, I must fight it each day. I don't come on here much any more due to being busy, but I miss my friends- I miss my encouragers. I miss my one person who will kick my butt if needed. So firends- fire away- give it to me- help me get moving again. Everyone needs support once in a while.

Life has been tossing me a lot of lemons lately- I am drowning in Lemonade. Work has been horrid, working way to many hours. I am tired and gumpy. When life is like this making good choices isn't easy. However, I am not gaining weight, which is, I suppose, a triumph. I still try to make good choices when it comes to food, they are just a little spare of the moment instead of planned. This week I had my check up with my primary care for my anxiety med refill. While there I got my flu shot and a pneumonia shot. Since I have asthma they recommend I go ahead and get that. Bad idea. This morning my arm is swollen and very painful to move or touch, I have a mild temp, head ache, naseau and upset tummy. My band isn't happy about all this either- it's TIGHT- the yogurt is not going down easy, so I think the protein shake is going to have to come out. Doc just says take Advis and Tylenol rotating and rest. Well, I am at work- no rest for the weary. Working out isn't happening these days. My works out are cleaning, cooking, yard work and dog duty. IF I get those done I consider the day a success. Yesterday, I spent 2 hours in the yard- cut grass, rake grass, trim flowers, sweep deck. Then I went in and cooked dinner. I do really try to make sure our dinners are healthy- non process, homemade and organic. Having a garden has helped with this. While the weight loss has stopped, my body continues to change. Just bought a pair of nice dress jeans in a 14 about a month ago. Slipped them on yesterday and they are loose. So hey, I must not be doing to bad. I have stopped worrying about the scale, the weight will drop when it drops. I am moving more, sleeping better and doing more than before so that is a success in it's self. I still very much want to lose 40 more pounds and be in the 140's; maybe I'll get there maybe I won't. At this point, I know I am eating better, moving more and all my labs are perfect- so I can't ask for more than that. This journey, if nothing else has taught me to be more aware. More aware of being lazy and what I choose to put in my body. I use to not bat a eye at eating a Big Mac and a large fry. You will never catch me eating that again. It just plain out isn't worth it. Now, last week on my 4th wedding anniversary the hubs and I went to cheesecake factory and my once a year slice of heavenly cheese cake was worth it- of course followed by a long walk. I always try to move more and add more steps and movement to my day. This could be standing while working on something or while on the phone. Walking to offices rather than calling, Walking to classrooms instead of calling. To me it's all about making the little choices throughout my day that equal a healthier me. I might hit my goal one day, but right now I am good with the choices I make. I am able to look myself in the face and say ok you aren't making the dumb choices you did before. I no longer hide eating- food doesn't control me, I control it. I like these steady changes and if they scale never moves anymore, I will be thankful for the 60 lbs gone right now and the changes I have made that have made me healthier. The band is totally worth the trouble and little issues.