Bonawanabfree

I'm in the club also. Need to refocus today.

Be patient and try not to beat yourself up when you stumble. Its just about recognizing your issues and trying to correct them. Know that your relationship with food goes deeper than your stomach. This is a mind game and you will learn how to play it. You will hate food and love it at the same time and that was the hardest part for me.

You'll be able to drink lots of Water just not all at once. Sometimes I am really thirsty and I go gulping like I used to and then my stomach tells me that I need to chill out. So then i drink a little here and there. Its the new normal.

You'll be able to drink lots of Water just not all at once. Sometimes I am really thirsty and I go gulping like I used to and then my stomach tells me that I need to chill out. So then i drink a little here and there. Its the new normal.

I have been approved for the sleeve. No surgery date yet, but just getting the approval feels good. I am very excited and can't wait to start this journey. I have contemplated this option for several years now, but it was not an option on our insurance until this year. I am feeling very blessed. I love bariatric pal and plan to use it alot through this journey to learn from others and find support.

After the week I've had, watching my husband undergo the challenges of cancer treatment, this whole post seems so unimportant. Sure people want opinions after losing weight, working their asses off (literally AND figuratively) to reach a goal only their eyes AND minds attempt to aspire to, they're simply hoping they will find others who either have reached that goal, or are trying to reach their goal, without a mean spirit to burst their bubble. SO WHAT IF THEY NEED A DIFFERENT BRA? SO WHAT IF THINGS DON'T LOOK TO OTHERS AS they SEE THEMSELVES?
Yes. people will say they look amazing, but the POINT they are making is it ISN'T just the LOOK that is amazing, IT WAS THEIR JOURNEY. Their journey was/is amazing. If you don't get this, maybe WLS isn't for YOU.

Full caffinated coffee with that horrible but delicious french vanilla coffee creamer. 2 cups a day.
I just don't want to give it up.

Here's the best part of this...I have no guilty pleasures. I eat anything I want. I just do it sparingly and in doing that, without the guilt. For me, the guilt was always the amount I ate...or that I was the fat woman with Ring Dings, chips, and soda in her shopping cart. Life is so much better this way with a cart full of lean Protein, veggies, good carbs...and a few treats like thin pretzels, SF jello/pudding, and unsalted nuts.

I think you may be suffering from PTSD from your previous experiance and maybe talking to a professional is exactly what you need. I would first advise you to get checked by a doctor. You should go to your surgeon and if they dont meet your needs then go to someone else.

Well, one week ago I was just about to undergo my initial anesthesia. What a crazy week! Today I am in almost no pain and my incisions have almost all healed. For anyone worried about the surgery, there is some pain, there is an inconvenience factor, but overall no big deal.

In 2005, I walked away from a ten year second marriage because his mental health issues were becoming worse and he refused to take medication to ease and control his symptoms. I made a strong effort to pray and stay, but when he began to mistake me for a punching bag, I had to go. I escaped to a womens shelter in the middle of the night and never looked back.
After leaving that relationship, I was confused for a while. With my first marriage of 23 years I had to leave because he became a serial cheater. My first marriage was when I was 19. I had been Daddy's good girl for 19 years, Green Meanie's good wife for 23 years , and mean ol' rotten A**hole's domestic slave for ten years. After I freed myself, I had no idea what food I liked to eat, what clothes I liked to wear, or even what music I liked. All my life was spent doing what the men in my life wanted me to do and be.
It took a while to figure out who I was, when no one was there to influence my decisions. Leaving was not as tough as I thought it would be. I have enjoyed being a strong and independant woman. I even went back to college at the age of 54 and completed my bacheor's degree in Business Management.
In 2006 I met a lovely genetlamen whom I am still with. He is kind a sweet and even nursed me through some serious surgeries and a stroke. He treats me like the queen of his universe. If I had been too timid or a afraid to leave those two other idiots, my life would still be a living hell.
What I am trying to say is that leaving a bad relationship where you are neither loved nor respected is not a bad thing. A one-sided relationship does not nurture our spiritual essence that lives inside our human containers. Men and women both deserve to have loving companshionship. I say that if your closest relationship is a hot mess, then do what the original poster and I have done. Walk away and don't look back.

@@Babbs
@@JustWatchMe
@@drmeow
I want to thank each of you women for telling me exactly what I need to hear. It is tough but it will get easier. i have never been married and I have been invovled with controlling men before in my life and i want nothing to do with it. His issues are not my issues and i will not allow someone to drain the greatness of who i am to appease his own ego. i dont ever want to be with another man that needs to know my every move, It is very oppressive and abusive. he actually has admitted to me that he knows he has issues and that he knows that what he is doing to me is abusive and so i gave him a choice, Either leave me to find happiness or get the help you need to learn how to cope. I gave him many chances and sometimes it seemed as though it was going to work but a leopard cant change his spots. We are who we are. Now i am actually excited about my future with me. I never felt lonely because i love my solitude. No dating for me for a long time. i want to just know me.
PS...Babbs-Im 32...

I have been with a man for a while and we were engaged to be married. Everything was going well but he has major insecurities and constantly thought I was being deceitful and always accused me of cheating. As of Thursday last week I we have been done. It is finished. he was so wonderful in so many ways but there was that one thing that ruined all the good stuff. I have never cheated on anyone and i am not deceitful in the least. I give everyone the respect that I would want to have given to me. i am loyal and true and I have never done anything to deserve this. I am sorry i am here talking about my bull but i thought it would be nice to hear from others that have been through this. It seems as though right when i needed him the most is when he would be c9ome very insecure and accusitory. i dont want to be with him anymore. I know this is for the best but it still does hurt. I put so much of myslef into this relationship and I just have to learn from it and move forward. Onward and upward. i have goals and big plans for my life and there is a piece of me that is just upset because i feel as though it was all in vain. I think I had just gotten to a point that i was over it anyway and that is why it seems easier. He was so supportive of so many things in my life and so wonderful and it scares the hell out of me that I wont find that with anyone else. I know i am just going in circles but I had to send my feelings about this into the universe and release them. thanks for taking the time to heart me out. Its not that i think he is a bad person, I just feel he is confused and scared to death of what love can do to him. Every relationship is a risk but we cant hold on to the past and be scared of our own shadows. We cant find love unless we try to love with trust and faith.

@
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. Thank you everyone. It is nice to have people in my corner supporting my decision.

@@Babbs
@@JustWatchMe
@@drmeow
I want to thank each of you women for telling me exactly what I need to hear. It is tough but it will get easier. i have never been married and I have been invovled with controlling men before in my life and i want nothing to do with it. His issues are not my issues and i will not allow someone to drain the greatness of who i am to appease his own ego. i dont ever want to be with another man that needs to know my every move, It is very oppressive and abusive. he actually has admitted to me that he knows he has issues and that he knows that what he is doing to me is abusive and so i gave him a choice, Either leave me to find happiness or get the help you need to learn how to cope. I gave him many chances and sometimes it seemed as though it was going to work but a leopard cant change his spots. We are who we are. Now i am actually excited about my future with me. I never felt lonely because i love my solitude. No dating for me for a long time. i want to just know me.
PS...Babbs-Im 32...

I have been with a man for a while and we were engaged to be married. Everything was going well but he has major insecurities and constantly thought I was being deceitful and always accused me of cheating. As of Thursday last week I we have been done. It is finished. he was so wonderful in so many ways but there was that one thing that ruined all the good stuff. I have never cheated on anyone and i am not deceitful in the least. I give everyone the respect that I would want to have given to me. i am loyal and true and I have never done anything to deserve this. I am sorry i am here talking about my bull but i thought it would be nice to hear from others that have been through this. It seems as though right when i needed him the most is when he would be c9ome very insecure and accusitory. i dont want to be with him anymore. I know this is for the best but it still does hurt. I put so much of myslef into this relationship and I just have to learn from it and move forward. Onward and upward. i have goals and big plans for my life and there is a piece of me that is just upset because i feel as though it was all in vain. I think I had just gotten to a point that i was over it anyway and that is why it seems easier. He was so supportive of so many things in my life and so wonderful and it scares the hell out of me that I wont find that with anyone else. I know i am just going in circles but I had to send my feelings about this into the universe and release them. thanks for taking the time to heart me out. Its not that i think he is a bad person, I just feel he is confused and scared to death of what love can do to him. Every relationship is a risk but we cant hold on to the past and be scared of our own shadows. We cant find love unless we try to love with trust and faith.

@@Babbs
@@JustWatchMe
@@drmeow
I want to thank each of you women for telling me exactly what I need to hear. It is tough but it will get easier. i have never been married and I have been invovled with controlling men before in my life and i want nothing to do with it. His issues are not my issues and i will not allow someone to drain the greatness of who i am to appease his own ego. i dont ever want to be with another man that needs to know my every move, It is very oppressive and abusive. he actually has admitted to me that he knows he has issues and that he knows that what he is doing to me is abusive and so i gave him a choice, Either leave me to find happiness or get the help you need to learn how to cope. I gave him many chances and sometimes it seemed as though it was going to work but a leopard cant change his spots. We are who we are. Now i am actually excited about my future with me. I never felt lonely because i love my solitude. No dating for me for a long time. i want to just know me.
PS...Babbs-Im 32...

I have been with a man for a while and we were engaged to be married. Everything was going well but he has major insecurities and constantly thought I was being deceitful and always accused me of cheating. As of Thursday last week I we have been done. It is finished. he was so wonderful in so many ways but there was that one thing that ruined all the good stuff. I have never cheated on anyone and i am not deceitful in the least. I give everyone the respect that I would want to have given to me. i am loyal and true and I have never done anything to deserve this. I am sorry i am here talking about my bull but i thought it would be nice to hear from others that have been through this. It seems as though right when i needed him the most is when he would be c9ome very insecure and accusitory. i dont want to be with him anymore. I know this is for the best but it still does hurt. I put so much of myslef into this relationship and I just have to learn from it and move forward. Onward and upward. i have goals and big plans for my life and there is a piece of me that is just upset because i feel as though it was all in vain. I think I had just gotten to a point that i was over it anyway and that is why it seems easier. He was so supportive of so many things in my life and so wonderful and it scares the hell out of me that I wont find that with anyone else. I know i am just going in circles but I had to send my feelings about this into the universe and release them. thanks for taking the time to heart me out. Its not that i think he is a bad person, I just feel he is confused and scared to death of what love can do to him. Every relationship is a risk but we cant hold on to the past and be scared of our own shadows. We cant find love unless we try to love with trust and faith.

@
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. Thank you everyone. It is nice to have people in my corner supporting my decision.

@@Babbs
@@JustWatchMe
@@drmeow
I want to thank each of you women for telling me exactly what I need to hear. It is tough but it will get easier. i have never been married and I have been invovled with controlling men before in my life and i want nothing to do with it. His issues are not my issues and i will not allow someone to drain the greatness of who i am to appease his own ego. i dont ever want to be with another man that needs to know my every move, It is very oppressive and abusive. he actually has admitted to me that he knows he has issues and that he knows that what he is doing to me is abusive and so i gave him a choice, Either leave me to find happiness or get the help you need to learn how to cope. I gave him many chances and sometimes it seemed as though it was going to work but a leopard cant change his spots. We are who we are. Now i am actually excited about my future with me. I never felt lonely because i love my solitude. No dating for me for a long time. i want to just know me.
PS...Babbs-Im 32...

You are very wise to realize this about him and break it off before marrying. I am going through a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage, and though our problems are quite different, I'm in a group with other women who have shared similar relationship problems as you describe. And if he's like this now, it will be even worse after marriage.
Though it may seem like it now, I think no relationship is ever in vain or wasted, b/c you (hopefully) learn something about yourself and others with each one. You have learned that this is abnormal behavior and that you are strong enough and smart enough to choose better. And at some point you will likely find someone who is supportive in ALL the ways you need him to be.
I think writing about it here and/or in a journal is a very good first step in freeing yourself. Realize and accept that you also need to grieve the loss, b/c it wasn't all bad. Take your time getting back into dating and work on taking care of yourself!

Good for you. I'm divorcing an emotionally, mentally and financially abusive narcissist after 23 years of marriage and two kids. It isn't easy, but going to sleep each night NOT exhausted by crazy talk and wondering what shoe will drop next is worth the pain of divorce. My kids can breathe, I can breathe, and the dog doesn't vomit three times a week anymore.
Stay connected here. It helps me a lot.