Nicci

Were you scared of the surgery at all? PLEASE keep us posted, I am pre-op and need to hear all the truth about this surgery that i can. Would you mind if I added you as a friend?

From the mouth of babes! So honest and I really like how you handled it. Good job mom and this is a very special NSV to you! Keep it up!

Well I have had 2 of the 3 suggested and I never even had the idea of death cross my mind for either. Kind of puts me at ease for the surgery. Thanks Julia
Lily

Ok, just to put some perspective into this --
The death rate for giving birth in the U.S. (in 2007) was 8.7 percent.
The morbidity rate associated with tonsillectomy is 2% to 4%
The morbidity rate for a laparoscopic gallbladder surgery is 1.9%
The point is, I could go on and on about the chances of dying in surgery (or from complications) -- but the fact remains that VSG morbidity rates is .5% -- that's TINY compared to giving birth, having your tonsils out or having gallbladder surgery (one of the most common surgeries in the U.S.).
I know that having an elective surgery for obesity is scary. I think we can all admit that we were all a little bit scared. But please don't focus on one thing and make that the reason why you might not consider having a surgery that could ultimately save your life.
As for myself, I KNEW that if I didn't do this FOR ME, that I would die - it was only a matter of time -- I didn't want to not see my children get married or leave my wonderful husband alone. I also wanted a new lease on life - I had not been living my life - I had given up and had given up everything that I found enjoyable about life, except for food. What a waste! So I gave myself the very best present I could give myself - a way to take control of my obesity and live a normal life.
I really really hope you reconsider this -- please feel free to message me - I know how scary it is to consider the surgery - it took me a year to get up the guts to even see a doctor. But I if I had the chance to do it again, I would run to the doctor and beg to be operated on immediately.
Take care, I hope this helps. Julie

Last night I was thinking about your situation. It occurred to me that maybe something you are eating is causing the sinus stuff. I bet you are allergic to something that is making your sinus cavities inflame. Just a thought.

Just an update to my previous reply:
2 months out now and I went thru a period of "WHY DID I GO THRU ALL THIS?" … because I had a 6-week stall, and my sinus stuff came back (sigh - thought the surgery had made it go away), which doesn't sound like much but it makes me really sick. I didn't regret it exactly, but I seriously wondered if all the effort and suffering was worth it.
Today, I'm still sick with the sinus stuff BUT I woke up to a sudden 5lb drop. The first time I've been in the 270s since 2 years ago, when I caught mono and gained 30lbs. So that's 35lbs in 2 mos, which is not great, but I'm hoping it'll move along again now.
I am not one for regret, generally. I'm big on making the best choice possible and simply acknowledging that I am human and fallible, if it turns out to be wrong. And then moving on.
I was terrified of the surgery because it's so permanent. So little in life is. Feud with your family? You can change that. Move to a foreign country? You can change that too. Marry the wrong person? That is something you can fix. Maybe fixing those things aren't easy, but it's possible.
Not so with the sleeve.
However, I am glad I did it. As long as I lose weight - however slowly - it's worth it. I don't have to obsess about food any more, either what I plan to eat or what I need to try not to eat. It has definitely helped my CFS/fibro, and that's a big deal.
I think sleeve-regret is even lower if you don't have emotional issues with food -- using it for comfort. I never mourned my ability to eat a lot of food (for which I am VERY grateful), because that's never been a thing for me. I've occasionally wished I could eat a couple more bites, but I also wish I could win the lottery so that's okay.

Any regret????? ABSOULUTLEY - Everyday
Every day I regret that I lived so many years miserably eating out of control. Every day I regret the heartbreak that I suffered by peoples cruel words, thoughts and looks towards me and my obesity.
Every day I regret that I did not make the choice to have WLS sooner.
You may read this and feel I am full of regret, and maybe I am .... however... I also am thankful Every day that I "woke up" and made the personal choice to get help with the battle against obesity. I am thankful that somehow I made the decision to have WLS, and chose the sleeve. I am thankful that for once in my life I am finally focused on eating healthy, daily exercise.
WLS is a very personal choice,,, for me, my biggest regret is that I took so long to realize it was the right choice.
My best wishes to all on this link, no harm should be intended on choosing to post your opinion.

Bryn, don't you dare apologize and the same goes for tamz too. Geez, Karelia posted if anyone wished they hadn't done it, and those few souls who are brave enough to admit this is harder than they expected aren't allowed to post in peace. Nobody's trying to convince anyone not to have the surgery, but an honest discussion of the variety of experiences post-op ought to be possible, and this ought to be someplace you can come when you truly feel like crap and get a little support! Many of us may not have friends or spouses we can share fears and tears with.
Honestly I don't think anyone who was truly sorry would hang around here very long. I've already found myself another forum with more long-timers, where the conversations are generally a lot more introspective, and the people are a heck of a lot kinder to each other. One poor woman posted this morning that she is sorry, one year post-surgery, because her life for the past year has been one complication after another. She's getting a ton of love, support, and where possible advice from those who've been there. Am I sorry I did this? Certainly not, at least not at this point. I'm so grateful to have had no surgical complications, to be able to be off the narcotics, to be able to keep down all the Protein supplements and liquids (knock on wood) and for having enough energy most of the time to get out and walk several times a day. But at the moment it hurts like crap, maybe I got out of a chair the wrong way yesterday or something. And I realize that I'm one of the LUCKY ones - life is a lot harder for those who had complications or are suffering from a lot of nausea. I for one think it's pretty clear Karelia is very intelligent, ready to make as well-informed a decision as possible, and perfectly capable of distinguishing the relatively minor pains of immediate post-op from serious long-term regret.

I think it depends on how the relationship was before surgery. If it was s@#t before then after there can be a lot of resentment. Im still trying to figure out that out for myself

My 6y/o daughter cried when someone told her she was just like her mom (they meant her personality) because she thought it was their way of calling her fat. She was constantly telling me I'm too big and she even excluded me from a picture she drew at school of her family because I was too big I wouldn't fit on the page with her dad, brother, sister and herself. (Yeah I cried when no one was looking). After having decided to go through with this surgery I feel better about the way she views me now because I know it wont be forever. The other night though, we were watching the actual procedure on youtube and she came in to the room and apparently started watching it as well because the next thing I know I'm hearing her say "That's NOT going to happen mom! There is no way I am letting someone hurt you like that and make you bleed. You're not having that surgery." LOL, well yes I am having this surgery and it will make all of our lives better! It just seemed so weird to see how her young opinion changed so quickly once she seen what it actually involved, she decided she would rather have a fat mom then to let her mom go through all that. She doesn't have a choice in the matter, but it was very sweet to know she was concerned for me.

I know that the er horror stories are often exaggerated, lol, my mom was an er nurse for many years, now shes an educator. I think she is only against the idea of me having this surgery because they use to teach their er nurses that when a WLS patient comes in with a sense of impending doom chances are the patient will expire. But you're right, soooo much has change in WLS in just the last 10 years alone! I will try to remember what you said if my recovery nurse panics, lol, I was way to groggy to be sarcastic (and her fear poured over in to me. I was hoping she would tell me not to worry about it, that it was another patient but no she admitted it was I whom had the elevated HR, btw thats how out of it I was at that point I couldn't even feel my heart taking off and I'm a sensitive one, my anxiety keeps me in pretty good tune with the rest of my body).
I believe at this point I have decided to move forward and stay on the surgical path. I deserve to have a full and long life, and to enjoy the life I lead without trying to avoid photos and hiding behind someone else on the rare occasion I allow someone to take my picture. I deserve to love what I see in the mirror. I am worthy of all of this, even if I am terrified. I feel like this is a "leap of faith" for me and I just have to trust in my doctors and listen closely to my body so that I get medical intervention if necessary (even if it means finding a different bariatric surgeon post-op because the surgeon who did the procedure isn't listening to me, as Miss Iggychic did! And good for her for continuing to push, she listened to her body and did everything she could to get the help she needed.). 321 lbs isn't ok for my relatively small frame to carry around for long!

I drink coffee without sugar and 2 oz of milk...I am allowed to have it...weird

No, I (knock on wood) have never thrown a clot before, but there is a first time for everything and given my current weight (which is the largest it has ever been) I'm sure my chances are increased. As far a Varicose veins go I have never really seen them in someones foot before, mainly just their calfs, hands and arms....so I wasn't sure if a foot one, which constantly has pressure placed on it while standing/walking, would bare any increased risk.
I did mention that I have PCOS, which honestly other than cosmetically, hasn't impacted my life (oh and I had to use fertility medication to get the child that died an hour and 10min after his birth, as well as my twins). It's more preventative measures in my mind, not that I have to explain my reasoning for even having an interest in this surgery to you or anyone else. I think it would be great to FINALLY know what it's like to be average to slender in size, and at 30 I still have plenty of life to live and cute clothes to wear (well not at my current weight, clothing options are limited and tend to age a person or just be down right gaudy!). So yes, I would like to look good. I would like to know what it feels like, just once in my life, to have a man literally sweep me off my feet, I would like to go to theme parks and be able to ride the rides without fear of embarrassment of not fitting in the seat or possibly breaking the cart off of its hinges, to be confident and comfortable in my own skin and not feel as if I am being judged based on my appearance but to know any judgement being cast is based on my character! I would like to go white Water rafting or mountain climbing with the girls. I would love to be more actively involved in play with my children and possibly even coach one of my daughters softball teams instead of sitting on the sideline and trying not to draw attention to myself. I would like for my 6y/o not to cry when people tell her she's just like her momma because she thinks that is their way of calling her fat (which shes not). I am entertaining the thought of possibly having this surgery simply because I can!
Thanks for asking It went pretty well and the surgeon agreed that this is probably in my best interest, given all the attempts I have made in the past (she laughed when I went as far back as Richard Simmons Deal-A-Meal plan and his sweatin' to the oldies routine). She gave me a book entitled "Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies" and she said it's informative yet entertaining I am optimistic at this point. She wants me to continue to jump through the hoops, and she continued to remind me that I am not obligated to commit to this and even once the surgery is scheduled I can cancel it at any time, even the day before the surgery if my feet get too cold Apparently Sweden has done studies on people whom are 20+ years out and they have a significantly decreased death rate from cardiac related deaths and incidence of cancer. I would love to read some of these studies as so many people in my every day life tell me that this is so new, blah blah blah, we don't know what it will do to you 10 or 20 years down the road. I'd enjoy battling them with the Swedish statistics and show them that yes we do know and this is why.

For those who my story has affected, I"m not sorry I've had that effect on your decision, in fact I'm happy that it's made you assess where you are in life and if you are ready at this time for the surgery (or ever). I wish to hell I'd have seen my story prior to my surgery!
My complications were real, and dismissing them lightly frankly peeves me off. So do comments like the walk to the mail box...that's actually not factual. Surgery is high risk, at a minimum 1-400 die, 1-100 have complications from minor to major. Those are high risk numbers for someone with no comorbidity issues. I was telling someone today....cut a hole in your chest and ram a garden hose between your ribs, then make sure its suctioning 24/7 from your lungs....you will now never cheat on a diet again!
I went through hell and back. Serious pain and torture to bring me back to a "maybe you'll make it but we've got six weeks more of concern minimum". 45 days in pain, 22 in high level hospital care, 250,000 in additional costs that most insurance wont cover and I lost 45 days, and almost my entire life with my 6 year old child. I easily could have left him without a mother because of this surgery. I did research the surgeon who has a great reputation (read about dr hodad on line) and paid for the best money can buy. I followed every rule to the letter, and almost died. SO casual dismissals kind of peeve me off frankly.
For me, I wish I'd never put myself at risk. Never. It's not worth it at my weight and my good health. But for others, it's the perfect option. Nicci and I have talked and hopefull Nicci what you got from my chat (gad what drug was I on then LOL) was that yes, likely it's a good option for you BUT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE READY!!!!!!
If you are in doubt, anyone, don't move forward until you arent. It's not chickening out to not be ready. Its using your wisdom to reassess where you are in life and if this is the time for you. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I wish you all the best Nicci. You know that When it's the right time for you, it will be the right time. You just do what feels right in your heart!
Dawn

Thank you soooo much for your support and encouragement. It truly means a lot to me, I have a lot of negative people in my life which I am assuming will change when/if I do go through with the surgery, I have heard of many people whose friends turned out not to truly be their friends but in fact their frenemies, or significant others whom just couldn't handle the new and improved partner. It's a breath of fresh air to come on here and actually be supported and encouraged no matter what decision I make!

Thanks guys...I am listening to ALL of you At 4:45pm I called my doc's office back and admitted to them I am scared and my fear was the reason I canceled. IDK if this is a "sign" of any kind BUT the receptionist totally understood and said that my appointment time was still available if I wanted to re-book it.....so I did. Tomorrow at 9am I will be going in to talk with the surgeon about all of this and letting her know all of my fears. The last surgery I had was just this past April, I had to have my ankle re-fused because it didn't heal right the first time. When I woke up in recovery my heart started to race on me and my nurse kinda scared me with the panic I could hear in her voice (she was yelling to the others "This one is going tachy! Mine is going tachy on me!" I kept asking her who was going tachy, if it was me? Finally she told me "Yes, you." so I bared down and took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds and released it and my heart rate came back down to normal before she ever had the chance to get me any sort of meds. Not sure if that was just like that I came back to normal on my own or what but it freaked me out pretty good. Later I asked the doc about it and he said no one had mentioned it to him but that maybe I was just having a slight reaction to one of the anesthesia drugs? He wasn't completely sure what could have caused it....but this was orthopedics not GI).

I'm not here to judge, or to convince you to have, or not have the surgery. However, I would like to say...please know that we all have to decide for ourselves whether or not you are ready for this life long commitment. Yes, there are success stories & there are the horror stories. I went into this knowing full well that I could end up in the 8% of those of who have it all go wrong. Luckily I ended up in the 92% success ratio. Terrified?! I sure was but I'm glad I went through with it. There will be struggles here & there on the days ahead. I'm willing to accept that & deal with what's ahead. Good luck to those of you who have yet to make the commitment. Know that those of us who went through with the surgery are here for you. Best of luck to all

I am sorry you had a bad experience with your surgery. I just wanted to tell you that as a nurse for years, your nurse was very unprofessional and maybe inexperienced. An incident of tachycardia ( yes, heart racing ) is not a reason for a nurse panicking, especially in front of a patient. Many people wake up from surgery and it takes awhile for their vital signs to adjust!
As for the horror stories - you should hear the ones I hear following emergency department visits out and about town. I will hear stories about visits that I was personally present for, and their versions are dramatically different from what I witnessed. That is not to say that in "their" perception they are describing it is not true but often when the outcome is not as they expected for example; waiting longer than they wany; not getting the medication they want; expecting chronic conditions to be "fixed" in an ER visit; or having the physician tell them that they cannot do anything form them.
Someones visit may go as follows: they come in with their child with a cough and fever and have to wait 20 minutes for the current triage; after triaged they have to wait 20 minutes to come back; after coming back they have to wait 20 minutes for the doctor to see them because we have 2 motor vehicle crash victims; a chest pain; a baby being transferred and a pshych patient taking up a bed; we draw blood; it takes 2 attempts; the chest x-ray takes 30 minutes because the MVC victims are being done; Respiratory Therapy does a breathing treatment; we give medication for the fever (generally we have to wait an hour for it to kick in). During all of this time, the child is fussy and crying but VS are stable except the fever. Baby is fussy, and it takes 2 nurses to give the antibiotics; Finally, the fever comes down; the labs are good and the doctor prescribes some more antibiotics and they have to wait for 20 minutes for the discharge paperwork. Baby is still fussy because they are sick, but we cannot make that go away!
After all of this, here is the point of the story, in our perception - this was a totally stable patient and a 3-4 hour ER visit is the norm with everything going on.
The patients story which I heard the next day in the store was: Baby was really sick and it took hours in the ER to even be seen - they did not care that she was crying and hot. When we got in the back the nurses did not even know what they were doing and stuck her twice to get her blood. Even though she was screaming they made us wait forever and then they did not even admit her - they just sent her home with p prescription and told us to give her tylenol, We are never going back to that place!
I know this is a long story, but while I do not want to minimize the risks, on all of the horror stories, how many of them were done by physicians that were not researched; in facilities that were not the greatest; did not comply with pre op and/or post op instructions; had pre existing conditions that they do not disclose on thier stories such as smoking; alcohol or drug usage?? I agree with the others that have posted, the risk of obesity and its health related problems are looming out there and shaking thier fist at us on a daily basis!! We are going into this with great expectations and not without thought and prayer, you can do it.
And, if you ever have a nurse do this again, ask her calmly to take her own pulse before panicking!!!!

one day at a time... just do it!!!!
My hubby did not want me to do it because of the risks... then I showed him that the top 5 reasons for death for women are ALL caused by obesity... I was more at risk for dying while walking to get the mail than to have this surgery.
I am now off pre-diabetes medication and my blood pressure medication... I am also jogging my FIRST ever 5K on October 27th... I never would have thought that this was possible... I only had surgery 8 weeks ago... Went to my first appointment on July 18, then ran through all of the appointements and had surgery on August 9....
I have only one regret... I am 41, wish I had done this ten years prior....

For myself, i look at why I'm on this forum in the first place. Faliure at dieting is why I'm here. Things will never change for me unless I try something different. As far as the friends go, if you lose them they were never your friends to begin with. I would rather find out now. I'm just looking for quality of life. You can get terrified when reading on here as well as encouraged. If you get too scared then wait : ) The surgery isn't going to disappear and will be here when you are ready and if you are ready. Could be this isn't the choice for you. I hope it all works out for the best for you Nicci. MY surgery day is Nov. 9th and Iwill be posting my surgery story as it unfolds. I guess the most important thing I would like to pass along is that food is KILLING us. Its just a slower death .

(Ctrl/Cmd+V)
Nicci, I'm so glad you re-scheduled your appointment. I read the responses to your post and was amazed at the support you recieved! I just joined this website last night and must say this is great!
Good luck on your journey and I hope to watch your progress!
Yael770

I ended up with 3 clots now and am on Coumadin and lovanox. I still am glad I had the surgery. I was unlucky but, when my clots resolve I will be thin and healthy. No one can make you ok with having surgery if your terrified. what we can do is support each other let you know from our experiences. My advice research research research. Make a list of every question and ask your surgeon. Every surgery has risks, some of us did get stuck with complications For me obesity has more long term risks that the sleeve surgery. For every me and iggy there are 100 everything is awesome posts. Honestly trying to choke down Protein Shakes and getting my liquid in is more of a hardship than the clots are at this point. Hope you make the best decision for you based on knowledge not fear. Regardless what you decide to do be comfortable with your decision.

Nicci
I am a lot like you. I am 31 years old, in Nursing school, and preparing to go through this surgery. I have had several surgeries in the past so I am not to worried. My mother doesn't like the fact that I am going through with this surgery. She is a nurse too, and has heard the countless problems people have had. If you are in nursing school, take that information you have learned and put it to good use. You know what can happen and you know what the nurses are going to do to prevent any problems. Yes it is scary to have any surgery. There are always risks. You just have to have faith.

You did not chicken out. You need to make that you're mentally ready and that you do your own research on all WLS procedures, like I wish I did.