I feel lately I have had a lot of firsts....first major surgery, first time putting myself first, first time owning my health, etc
I have to say that it definitely is hard to choose yourself first. Anyone with children, a spouse, family, etc knows what I mean. You feel as if you are cheating them out of being there. It has taken me many years to come to understand that what I thought as putting them first was actually an excuse for me to continue to be unhealthy. How was I putting them first if I wasn't taking the best care of myself? This is a VERY hard lesson to learn. As I look around at my family members and family history of chronic weight related issues I put my foot down. There was a voice deep down saying "me, me...did you forget that I am here?" This time I chose to listen.
I have not always been overweight...alright "morbidly obese". This is something that has been rolling along pretty much for the past 15 years. You know the story....get married (get comfortable), have children (more comfortable with a few pounds) and before you know it you are a shell of the person you once were. Years go by and you lose a little and gain more and back and forth. Many of us have the same story. My weight loss surgery journey originally began two and a half years ago, Dec 2009 with a seminar for the lap band. I went and listened and then said I will give it another try of doing it myself and bailed on following through. Two years later I found myself at the seminar again with a firm grip on my nerves and actually listened with more conviction about choosing me first.
After going through the 3 months of NUT, psych appointment, surgeon visits and pre-op testing...I took a leap of faith with myself and God .
I had clear liquids 24 hrs before surgery and was officially sleeved on 7/17 at 10am.
I am currently 10 days post-op and completely intrenched in the full liquid diet. What can you say about liquids? Not a whole lot . Anyway, I am just passing time until Tues when I get to start the greatly anticipated puree stage. Never thought I would be so excited about eating food the consistency of baby food. But here I am and readily counting the hours.
This past 2 weeks has given me time to do a lot of thinking!! Sometimes I wonder if the liquid stage is just as much for learning to listen to your body and conquering some of your food obsession as it is about letting your body heal.
I have found that everyday that voice is getting a little stronger and I can't wait to begin to have NSVs and see the weight come off. I will take each day of passing time to consider the gift I have been given of my life, living longer, spending more time with family and friends. I am 38 years old and have a lifetime ahead of me and plan to make it the best I can!!
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