Gijane2012

Nature's Bounty Vitamin Protein Shake is great. I use my blender to mix it.....good with water or skim milk. I never tried a shaker so I don't know if that makes a difference (someone mentioned earlier their supplement should be used with a blender). I got at Costco, but you can get at Walgreens, Drugstore.com, CVS and Amazon. Good luck all.

I concur, great first blog. Well said and I totally relate.....in most ways, we all do. My surgery is 8.23.12. I look forward to this journey and I encourage you to write, write, and write. Time for change. Love it.....write more.

Good luck Sherry77, Keep us posted on your progress. I am about 25 days after you. Surgery in Melrose Park at Westlake Hospital. This site has been awesome for me in this journey. I never utilized a support system/network before....until now. I love it and I hope you do too.

I think your reaction from people is what I will get from them. I recently did a video of me...something I stayed away from was videos and cameras. I was like, wth, I let myself go. I already know. Regardless, for you, stay focused and know you are moving forwards and don't look back. I know I won't when my time comes. I totally get your entire blog there though. My turn soon. Definitely embrace the compliments. We have a tendency to look on the flip side...but dont.

SleevenChica, you definitely feel me.....yep, we need an Intervention, lol.

I've been a bit obsessed with this site. I've read so many blogs and other posting....I've even started writing my own blog. I think I need to step back because no one can rush time. Time will come in its own time. I have a challenging job, got vacation coming and then same week I return, I have surgery. I just want to bypass it all and go to surgery. I say that but I know or at least believe, I'm waiting the surgery but I think of the pain some people have had after surgery. I've been reading too much, processing and not processing it all. Another part of me thinks what if it doesn't work. Yes, I've been super positive about this but all it takes is a seed of negative thinking and it can truly grow into more. I think I am going to have to take a few days away from this site just to get my bearing. This site is a good thing for me but I am a bit too focused on it. I need to do other stuff. Maybe a brief break. I get up getting on the site, check my email for responses....get home and I am here. I am way past my bed time and I am here. I've never utilized anything to this magnitude. It is good but too much too fast for me. I have to go to bed and I will be back........probably in the morning, lol.

Thanks all. I am good. I just want my turn and I try to patiently wait. I want to move into next phase of my life. I know there will be physical pain (from surgery), mistakes (possibly eating wrong) and hopefully great triumph (weight loss). I get excited for all those there in a place I want to be in. Just want my turn with a great weight loss. It gets scary because I felt like this with Lapband only to fail. I cannot leave my support system. Thanks for all comments.....it helps me a great deal.

Thanks Dooter!

Great read, I enjoyed it.

I remember when I had the Lap Band, right after surgery I was like never again but the next day was better. I see I might experience the same thing post Sleeve surgery so I will be mentally ready to tolerate it. Better days your way...........thanks for the update.

I had the LapBand and it was definitely trial and error. I had points where it was so tight I became dehydrated. I lost weight but it was constantly and randomly vomitting. Eventually the LapBand became defective (leak) and now I am about to get Sleeved. As stated in previous comment, read this site and you WILL see many who are moving away from "crapband" to become Sleeved. Due diligence is the ticket and I know you will make an executive decision to get Sleeved. Good luck!!!

Love your post too. I am anxiously waiting to be Sleeved on 8.23. This website is my savior. I come to it to write how I feel. I come to it to read stories like yourself. It is all inspiring. As each day passes, my belief in knowing my life is about to truly take off becomes stronger. I am joyful about this opportunity. I called the insurance company and had them fax over my approval letter just so I could read it a zillion times. Words cannot capture how I feel inside....I want to implode. May you continue to lose weight but more importantly share your experiences. It is purposeful. Thanks!!!

Something is taking over me and it is called change. This is my second attempt to weight loss. I had weight loss surgery in 2009 and it did not work. I had Lap Band surgery at the time and now I am waiting for 8.23.12 when the defective Band will be removed and I will be Sleeved. So, what is the changing and believing in me stuff all about? Well, the LapBand started off ok...that is if you call vomitting all the time and feeling dehydrated because I could barely sip water. I lost weight that way until one day it stopped. Each time thereafter when I went for a fill, nothing happened. Not enough fluid, let me go back.....still nothing. Hmmmm, let me change providers because "they" don't know what their doing. Hmmmm, same problem, different place so it must be..................me. Not only no weight loss, I experienced weight gain. Needless to say it took me too long to figure it out I wasn't the problem.....the LapBand was. I internalized the failure as my own. In June 2012 I became empowered about my health. I went back to my original provider and the LapBand has a leak. Geez, it did not take a rocket science to figure that out but I was mentally in it and I made it my failure....it had to be "my fault." If only I would have been empowered and proactive before.....I could have save myself the mental knockout and the beating my body is taking for added weight gain. June 2012 I decided "no more." When I was told the band was the problem I also realized I was the problem for not believing in me. For not even thinking the Band was defective.....it was easier for me to think I was defective. Enough. Since that time, I have been proactive with getting my insurance to approve having the Band removed and getting Sleeved. I did not take a back seat and wait for things to happen, I played what I believed to be a significant part in making it happen. I called the provider and insurance company constantly to make sure my name was in their "head." I wrote a letter to the insurance company, had it notarized and all so they heard my story regarding my failed LapBand. I told myself if I got denied for Sleeve it would not be without me doing all I felt I could do. It may not played a part in their decision making but it played a huge part in believing in me piloting my aircraft. Enough insecurity. I wasted so much time and what I realize is that I don't have that kind of time to lose anymore. I'm calling myself out. This website has become a part of my voice. I did not use support systems. I tried to figure it all out myself. I mean, I am successful taking care of my family. I am successful being a good friend. I am successful following through on the clients I serve at my social services job. Yet I fail me. It seems like I should have seen this but when you are immersed into yourself, you cannot see yourself or maybe I refused to look. Whatever the case, I am moving forward. I believe. I am empowered. I am motivated. I will be intentional about my acts. I will achieve weightloss. I see it now because as excited as I am about my surgery in August, I am taking necessary steps now. I am watchful of what I eat. I am reaching out to people on this site instead of be a voyeur of this site. I need this site. I am thankful for it. I read the stories of where I am, where I was and where I am trying to go.......it all energizes me. Anyone reading this who is doubtful.......believe. If you never believed in anything....if no one believes in you.....take all of that and believe this time. Believe you have a right to happiness. You have a right to be heard, to be seen to be acknowledged by all those who made you invisible including if you did it to yourself. I will say this always. I've seen beautiful, fashionable and confident heavyweight women. Women who are comfortable in their own skin. I don't believe the world needs to be skinny. I do believe we should love ourselves and if we don't, we should do what we need to do to bring about change. This is my change and my newfound belief in me.

Thanks Kellie x......well said!!!! I love that..."Sleeved and relieved."

I've read many blogs, entries on the site and really my story is yours. I wondered what was I going to write when it seem like repetitious in nature. Hmmmm, I thought, I alway stay silent because I think my voice is unworthy of being heard. I said to myself, I will write whatever I want. I never utilize support systems. I've always figured it out myself and held my own. It is part of the reason I have failed at weight loss. I literally have carried the weight of "my world" on my shoulders, thighs, stomach, jaw and everywhere. I told myself it is time to do something different. Writing this blog is my public voice through written words. I am always behind the scenes. I take pictures.....................of other people, as I stand behind the camera. I am in meetings, listening, silencing my voice. Anyway, a friend told me I should do a video diary of my weight loss. I was like, he must be crazy. Then I thought, I have to do the opposite. I started videotaping me yesterday. I was like "UGH" I look horrible. I was like, is this what people see when they see me? It is a reality check. I sucked it up and kept videotaping. It became a necessity as I will channel my discontentment into losing this weight when I get Sleeved. Let me tell you a little about me. First of all, 10 years ago I lost 100 pounds on my own. I worked out, juiced, made smoothies and ate pretty healthy. Four years later I was diagnosed with rectal cancer. I had major surgery,radiation treatment and then chemotherapy. Sometime after I finished my treatment I became depressed. My body was so different. I had problems I never had before....I still do. I gained weight. Eventually I had LapBand surgery. It helped me lose some weight but then it stopped working. I thought the problem was me. I changed health providers only to have same issue. I gained more weight. Well, in June 2012, fed up I went to surgeon's office to give LapBand another try. What I found out is that my band had a leak....it was defective. All the time I thought it was me and it was the darn band. So, I like many, went through the process of trying to get approved to have it removed. Last week I got approval to have band removed and to be sleeved. It is a month away and it cannot come soon enough. I have an 8 day cruise in between now and the surgery and I swear I don't want to go on cruise. I want to reschedule my surgery to earlier and use my vacation to recover. I am trying to be patient but I feel like I will finally get a turn to have weight loss. It has been hard to lose weight with depression, body aches and challenges I cannot bring myself to put on paper at this point as a result of bowel resection surgery. I feel I let myself go and this surgery offers me an opportunity to get my life back. I've always wanted to be fit, active and eating right but when your mind becomes your own enemy, the simpliest thing becomes most challenging. Everyday people don't get it. I used to try to help them understand but I've concluded most want to believe what they want to believe so I leave them right there in their ignorance. Another thing that pushes me to "do something" is I have moved up in my professional career. I write that still not believing I got a job like I do. I have a position that thrushes me into the spotlight of my employer. Everyone will know who I am and have to deal with me at some point at my employer. I do public speaking and it is forcing me out of my comfort zone. It is also allowing people to see me as I saw myself in that video....UGH. I am better than this. I've said many times that fat is not necessarily ugly. It is ugly when you don't wear it well, when you are not confident in your own skin, when you don't "rock" your fat.......................I am none of that. This blog begins my journey of getting to a new me. I know I will never be who I was, I don't want to be who I am but I want to be someone who is comfortable in her soon to be new skin. I've been through a lot (most I have self minimized) but I know good things are to come because I can confidently say I deserve it. My first ever blog..............................the journey begins.....my voice shall be heard.

@echowits- Thanks so much. I cannot wait.

Hey, I have BCBSIL/PPO too. You could not be as bad as me. I called them every other day (would've been everyday to check status). A little exaggeration there but I was on them. One thing I did and I am not sure if it helped at all but I wrote a letter and had it notarized and titled it an "Affidavit of My Experiences." I initially wrote letter June 25th and had it notarized. The insurance company had rec'd the info from my doctor's office, however they quickly responded requesting more information from provider. I wanted to at the time to send my own response (affidavit) but I held back because I thought I was being "neurotic." As time went by was becoming impatient and fixated on this (totally not my personality). Sherri was off work during holiday and insurance company stated they had not rec'd a response. By the time I talked with her and she indicated she had submitted papers to them, I did not care, I faxed my letter to them. It was 2 days later I called and found out I was approved to have defective band removed and to become Sleeved. I was the person who believed in natural progression and the journey. I am learning things are imperfect and I need to be more proactive. I thought to myself if the insurance company is going to "deny" me, I needed to feel I did all I could for them not to deny me. I don't know if the letter made a difference or if Sherri's submission did it alone. I know I will no longer take a back seat to things I have for so many years. I've always advocated for others (family, friends and clients at my job) and it is time I advocate for myself. Don't doubt yourself. Be ready for your next move. I called BCBS more than I called any entity. I thought they would be irritated but I realized "they" is an "entity" and entities have no feelings. I was like, it is not like the same person answered the phone. Hang in there and believe. I get the turmoil though so how you feel is natural. I have used this site to calm me down. I try not to overwhelm my friends that know of my new surgery. (I felt like a public failure with band so I limited those who know of impending Sleeve). Be encouraged and believe you are already approved.

I look forward to that experience. I remember when I lost the weight before. It was my biggest accomplishment....more than even my educational achievements. Weight loss supercedes it all. I cannot wait. I get so much energy from people like yourself and the many others who write their experiences.....so inspiring, encouraging and motivating. August 23rd cannot come soon enough for me. Thanks!!

Hey, I think what you are feeling is normal...it has to be because I feel it too. I have Lap Band and it it did not work for me. I recently got approved my surgery to have the defective band removed and to get Sleeved. I was excited when I got approved for Band and I shared that excitement. When the LapBand failed me, it was a public failure. I have shared with a smaller group of people about my impending surgery late August. In the back of my mind, I wonder too will the Sleeve fail me. I acknowledge the thought and push it away because I know it won't fail me. I get on this site and use it for its purpose...support. I go to Youtube and look at various sites about Sleeve. I get filled up on confidence. I envision my success. I know my mind takes me back to my failed weight loss but I am going to reprogram my thinking until it comes into fruition. This will work for you and it will work for me. It has worked for so many on these sites. Yes, I got excited like this with the Band but the difference is the Band failed me, you and so many others. It will take work with the Sleeve but it seems far from what we all went through with the Band. Hang in there, be confident and believe....I am going to believe for you. I cannot wait until 8.23.12. Believe!!!!

chitowngirl, I am in.

Hello ChiTownSleevers. I am in. I get sleeved on 8.23. I am live on the south side of Chicago. I am open to working out, walking or whatever. I am so excited; I got my news today that I was approved. Oh, my surgeon is Dr. Fred Tiesenga. I had my lapband at West Suburban in Oak Park but I think he will do this surgery at Westlake in Melrose Park. I live south but I love west suburbs.

Geez, so comforting to come to a place where there is commonality. I read your post and was like, omg, it is so my story too. I am waiting for my insurance approval. All of the fluid is out of my band and my weight is increasing by what feels like the hour. I try, I try and I try. My surgeon's office submitted the paperwork in a timely manner however when the insurance company requested additional information, it was like my file went under the "do not touch list." I call respectfully every so many days bouncing from insurance company to doctor's office. It is so frustrating to feel like my life is on hold. I go on this site and it is comforting to read the various posts yet I feel like will I have the opportunity for the sleeve. I mean, there is no guarantee the insurance company will approve me......I just feel they should and they will. I am eating better and trying to exercise because regardless of approval or not, I have to do that anyway. Sighing as I wait. Sighing as I look at me slimmer, better, happier but waiting on someone to write "approved." So thankful to read people like yourself and the others on this site that knows exactly how I feel. Comforting.

Thanks for re-posting, definitely "food" for thought. I have not had my surgery yet but it makes me think what will I do when my "friend" is not in my life as it was before. It is a reality check. I will see the impact of my food addiction. Wow. Enlightening. I have a higher awareness. I love this site, I always take away something good each time I am on it. It is like I read the right thing for me at the right time. Thanks!!!!

Inspired. I read the various postings on this site and most times I am speechless because I relate so much to the various postings. I feel like someone is writing my story. My failed Lapband. I am anxiously awaiting approval from the insurance company. I feel inspired, empowered...motivated plus so much more when I read. I've finally found a place I feel understands. Anyway, proud of your weight loss and keep on losing. I cannot wait until I get to paved road of success you are walking.