nicole1

Hello strangers! I'm back! Wow so much has happened with everyone! So here is my update. We sold the house, got our divorce and I am happy again! I have a cute little apartment, 2 kittens (Cinna & Lily), I got rid of the family gas guzzling car and bought a 2008 Prius, and requested a sight transfer at work and got it! Things have been great emotionally. My work is easier and my life is calmer. I am back to working out 4 days a week and annexing in extra cardio 2 of those days. My eating is pretty good except for weekends. Someone mentioned cookies earlier well that is me too! Oh and I live a block away from Dairy Queen! When I first moved in it was almost a daily visit but I have gotten it down to a treat once every few weeks. I am back up to 188, but under the stress I was going through I'm going to cut myself some slack. I hope to loose a pound a week and have a new goal of 160 by next spring. If it happens sooner then great! I am no longer seeing my dr since I can afford the $250 for a 5 minute visit and a possible fill, but I think I am in the green zone and have been for awhile. I have only puked 3 times in the last 3 months but it was due to eating too fast when I was too hungry. Well that is my update. I will comment on everyone later this week! Everyone have a fantastic week!

Wow sue you have been through so much and r still a trooper! Hang in there. Well my house sold! We signed the final addendum yesterday! We will be out on 7/19. My new apartment will not be ready until 8/16 so I will rent a room from a good friend my gym buddy!!! All of the kids know now as of last night. It has been an awkward morning but I think the all knew it was coming but it still hurts. I hope to start loosing again starting next week. I'll be at my new job and back on a schedule and that always helps. Ladybandito. I appreciate the kid words. It is tough but I have to think about the light at the end of the tunnel or I'll loose my mind!! Thank you for all of the love & support!!

Hello all! Sorry I have not posted in ages. Between my problems at work and trying to sell my house so I can finally have the divorce I have wanted for 3 years has been very taxing on me. So I cut back on things and have focused on things that have to be done. So where am I now with everything? Work- only 2 weeks left and this years nightmare will be over, I did get a full time summer job but move up from an assistant to a supervisor! More pay less injuries! Home- house is finally on the market. It has been hard b/c my family is a group of slobs and no one helps to clean daily for showings so it is stressful, but the end results will make it worth it! My weight- I have not gained any and I have not lost any so for me that is a victory considering my life is in the toilet! I am still at 185. I workout 3-4 days a week still in my semi private circuit class. I have not been logging my food but still eat well in the morning and during the day. It is my evenings and weekends that I mess up on. When I am home I am stressed and I eat. I am still in counseling twice a month and that has helped. So basically until the house sells I am in limbo. We think it should sell by the end of summer so there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Ladybandito thanks for giving me a nudge!!

Ugh what a horrible week! Work has just blown up in my face & now I'm eating wrong again! I have been logging & working out but somehow the 5-10 cookies just don't make it into my log!! Maybe I just need to take a break with trying to loose and just maintain until the stress is down. I don't know!! Congrats on the fill Nikki! Sounds like it is just what you needed! Hang in there!!!

Nicki I know how you feel the aha moments appear to be few and far between these days. Good luck at the dr.

NJ2NC- I think you might be in the perfect sweet spot. My doctor said you're there when you can only drink your bfast and when you can feel your food hit your band. She said at that point eat a bite no bigger than your pinky nail, chew 20 times, swallow and wait until you feel it hit the band before taking your next bite. I have never gotten to that pint but I hit my 1 yr and now it is $250 for a fill so I am just going to try to work with what I have got. I think I am pretty close. I am tight in the am and feel hungry about every 2-3 hrs and eat about a cup of food. I have not had a PB but have felt stuck but it has always passes. Every time it was due to not chewing enough or waiting until I was starving and eating too fast. Nicki- sounds like you are doing so good! Just getting in the habit if packing you gym clothe is a step in the right direction. Be careful not pack matching shoes or you will look weird like I did a few months ago!! I still worked out. I didn't use it as an excuse. If your weather sucks maybe you need to hit the tanning beds this weekend too! My update. I tried to do liquids Sunday and ended up cheating so I did liquids Monday and Tuesday. Yah!!! I also did circuit training both days and logged my food! What really got me motivated was when the scale said 190. I kinda freaked because last time I was on it I was 180. So I am getting back on track & hitting a tanning bed this weekend!! Oh and I am nicoleabright1. On MFP or search me by email. Same as user but add @gmail.com

I used to tan when we lived in Tulsa. Maybe I will give it a try again. At least it will give me 15-30 min to myself before going home and dealing with the family. Ok so today is the 1st day I logged my food in over 3 weeks. I went over by 600 cal but I logged it and owned it!! Tomorrow will be easier since ill be back at work & at the gym after work. I hope everyone had a good weekend!!

Still in the emotional dumps. Can't get in to see my counselor until the 12th!! Work was very stressful again this week but it looks better for next week. Just got to get through until spring break! I haven't weighed myself kinda afraid to since my pants feel a little tighter. I know i need a reality check & to get back on trace but just can't seem to be motivated enough. Thank you for all of your kind words! I feel like something is missing in my life & food is not feeling the void like it used to. I totally need a new replacement behavior just haven't found it yet. Working out is still not my thing. I do it because I have to not because I love it. I don't feel energized or good afterwards I feel exhausted and sore. I can't wait to get to my goal weight just so I don't have to workout as often. I do wish I was the type of person who loved it & couldn't get enough of it but oh well I know this is a pathetic post but at least I am working at staying connected

Another rough day. Work was horrible and I cried all of the way home. If it wasn't for my daughter I would have stopped at the bakery on my way home. She suggested coffee & a chat. And that was nice. I think I need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist. I feel way more weepy and just plain old depressed lately. I know the stressors in my life can be affecting my mood but I just don't feel like me at all lately. Nicki I hope all goes well with DH. And remember antidepressants take at least 3 weeks to really start to take effect so be patient and watch for side effects. The 1st one might not be right for him. Good luck! I think I'll get some pudding that isn't sugar free. I have seen those chocolate moose ones and have not let myself try them so maybe now is the time. Otkanam I am right at 86lbs give or take a lbs depending on the day. I have been stuck there since my weigh in in January. I wonder if hitting our 1 yr bandiversary is what has put some of us in a slump?? I know what you mean about the mirror. Sometimes when I am down I see that 270 girl too but my ID badge from work always makes me smile because I can totally see the difference from then to now. You guys will love this story: I was working on a visual schedule for a 2nd grade Autistic girl and we were looking through some of my pics. She saw one of me last year sitting at my desk. She shrieks, "that's you!" I said, " yes I have lost some weight since then". She then asked, "did you have a boob job back then too because your boobs were huge!" You can always count on a kid to be honest!!!

No exercise & ate bad! I feel like I am playing Chutes & Ladders. Up to he next level the back down the slide! Well I've owned it and tomorrow is a new day! Sue it sounds like you have an amazing life! Trade yah!! Way to go Nicki!! What is your replacement food?

Ugh doing bad! What's my problem? Where did my mojo go?!

Hello everyone! Thank you for your support. I think part of my problem is I have stopped reading & posting on here and u guys have been such a huge part of my support team and I let it slide not realizing how important it is. So I really need to go back to some of my old goals. 1. Log log log! 2. Exercise 3-4 times a week 3. Read & post at least every other day. I didn't just let myself down by not posting but I let u guys down too & we gotta stick together!! 4. Stop doing the grocery shopping for awhile so I can get back on track. It is an evil place to go everywhere there are baked goods in single servings! 5. Go liquid for a few days. I might just do it this weekend since it is 3 days home & it will keep me from snacking! Well that is my plan. Nicki do you have to avoid the store right now while avoiding ice cream? Sue- way to go on vday! Only one bite of chocolate lava!! As I was reading and saw a few bites of this & a few of that I figured u were saving for desert!! You must have a very supportive husband. How has your family handled all of the change? My kid are starting to slack off on being careful what they leave out. If I don't know about it I won't eat it. I know not to go in their cabinets but when they leave it on the counter I loose my willpower! Ok this is lame I forgot your name who just lost 8lbs since the 4th! And I can't go back & see it on the app. Well congrats!! I totally agree with ur dr. It is all about what we do eat not just about what we don't eat. High protein low carbs & lots of veggies!! I notice I do way better on the weekdays b/c I pack a really healthy lunchbox and only eat what I bring & stay far away from staff lounges! Here is my weekday meals Protein shake in am heated & espresso added (a must) Yogurt for snack Either dinner leftovers mainly the protein or a deli chicken wrap - sometimes have veggie chips too as a treat! Snack is lite applesauce A before gym snack is a zone protein bar (I go at 7pm but don't want to eat dinner so I have this b4) Dinner is a protein & veggies after the gym. I cook b4 I leave & eat the leftovers after the gym it works well no seconds left! Desert if I am feeling denied that day is sugar free pudding or healthy choice 100 cal fudge bar Then the weekend hits & it all goes out the door!! What is everyone else's weekly meals like?

Hello everyone! I'm back! I totally fell off the wagon and have been dragging since! I got a nasty cold and yes in less than a month of getting over pneumonia, so I got pretty depressed. Also even though I am eager to get my divorce rolling and start my new life I have to admit it still hurts he broke my heart. So I have been just really emotional lately and cookies just taste so much better when you are depresses! I have still been going to counseling and to the gym 3-4 days a week, but I've eaten like 4 dozen cookies in the last 2 weeks and I have not logged anything so I have not been "owning it" until now. The true confessions of a cookieholic!! LOL Wow what a weight off my shoulders to finally tell someone!! So tomorrow will be a new day for me and a fresh start. I promise to weigh in & log all my food & go to the gym!! Talk to all of you tomorrow!! Hey how are the newbies? Haven't seen many posts!

I am so miserable! I got stuck at dinner and barely at anything and work up hungry! So I got a protein bar, bad idea & probably at to fast now I'm hurting! Got all the gurgling sounds & burping but it isn't coming up just hurts. I need to follow advice when given! Like sue said go liquid after bing stuck! Ok I'm relaxing now and it is feeling better! All I had to do was type & I could imaging all of your replies!! Thanks for being there guys!! Awe now maybe I can get some sleep!

Nicki you should be so proud of yourself! No meds! Yah!!! And 40% loss that is awesome!! You have been through a lot this past year and physically it sounds like you are healthier than you have been in years, so celebrate it. Don't keep beating yourself up it is only putting you in that crappy cycle we all get in of eating bad, feeling bad about it which makes you want to eat more! I have a few ideas for you. Since you use this site as your counselor you should go back to the beginning and read all of the posts. You will notice some of the best suggestions were yours!! Go back and take your power back. You have posted more than anyone and have save me from myself multiple times, so go back and read and maybe you will motivate yourself!! Another thing post on your fridge a before & after pic. Every time you go to get ice cream look at it and remind yourself how amazing you are and you don't need it to feel that way! I have fallen off the wagon 2 weekends in a row with pie slices. So I am going to look at pics before entering any grocery store and stay out of that damn bakery section. I might have to have others grocery shop for me for awhile while I reboot my system!! Meredith I am so glad to hear from you again!! What can we do to help you "reboot"? Do you have a gym near by so you don't have to deal with the cold? Or does your apartment have a gym? I will be honest I am a little jealous of you. Right now I would love to have a small apartment I could clean in 30 minutes!! I hate cleaning & I hate clutter and it feels like I need to do a donation & dump run but that would require cleaning!!LOL let me know if you need any workout clothes or shoes & what size I might have some for you! And work clothes too! Send me a separate message if you don't want to post sizes!! Ok it is really late and I still have not responded to half of you. Sorry!! Well at least I can close wit a big HAPPY BANDAVERSARY EVERYONE!!!!