CowgirlJane

I hit goal in Feb 2013 after losing 150# (surgery was Dec 2011) I was morbidly obese or overweight most of my life. This morning I am 4# over goal...I have to work at this pretty constantly. I am very active and avoid fast food and crappy food generally but I do indulge too.
So, here is the scoop. The surgery is still there as a tool even years later BUT it's probably 80-90percent on YOU at that point. Given the decades of obesity, it's no wonder my body is always"wanting" to regain.
I am ever diligent that my 4# over doesn't turn into 40 or 140....right? I stay ON IT. I view obesity as a disease that I have in remission but will never be cured of. I have a level of determination that is sharee by quite a few die hards on these forums and frankly that FOCUS is one of the reasons I am still here on BP. I can't ever forget that I am not just a normal trim woman. I am someone who can easily regain. It is also one of the reasons I got skin removal...it is like tossing those 3X sweatpants cuz I ain't EVER going there again.

There is already a huge long thread dedicated to before and afters.. but it is such a fun topic I don't mind repeating!!
This is what losing 150 pounds does for you! A girlfriend of mine said the sweetest thing "I didn't know you had a teenage daughter"...LOL. I do feel like I look younger being trimmer.
Taken within the last few weeks

This was taken in December i believe - I think I was 20# away from goal,back when I was a bit curvier. I was feeling pretty good, but, I like how I look better now even if my T&A disappeared since this photo was taken.

This is my before picture at over 300#. I don't have much to say about it but I KEEP looking at my befores to remind myself how far I have come.

You have done so well - a true inspiration to all!
I have to say though, I am not sure I completely agree with all the points, but my personal experience definately matches much of what was said.
I will be 4 years in December (Dec 2011). What I can say is this year has been different then the previous ones for a variety of reasons. I hit goal in Feb 2013. Lost 150# in 14 months and have been maintaining pretty well.
I have mixed feelings about the honeymoon period arguement. I lost significant amount of additional weight in 2014 and got 20 under goal, when I had been in maintenance over a year but it was due to problems that caused me to not be able to eat. (not really sleeve related). I do think there is a honeymoon period even if it is partially "in your head". It is my opinion that they don't actually KNOW all the reasons for how the sleeve works. For example, nobody has ever been able to tell me why Water tasted metallic to me the first year or so post op. I still don't love plain Water like I used to. Why would that happen from a partial stomach removal?
Anyway, I do think the main point is spot on - you have to keep doing what you did to keep having success. There is nothing really magical about maintenance in truth... it is just more of the same forever.

Sorry...posted too soon...
I heard a study once about "willpower" and weight management. Thin people don't have more willpower they just habitually don't set themselves up for failure. Example...resist once (at the grocery store ) rather than finding the willpower to resist a million times a day once the junky food is right there in front of you. When you know a relationship is "toxic " for you it's better to change it or end it.
You have often lamented in the past that all socializing is around food. That would torture me and I spend more time with people who are active and away from food now to help me. It's still hard because others seem to be able to stay slim on alot of food...but such is my fate.

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

There is already a huge long thread dedicated to before and afters.. but it is such a fun topic I don't mind repeating!!
This is what losing 150 pounds does for you! A girlfriend of mine said the sweetest thing "I didn't know you had a teenage daughter"...LOL. I do feel like I look younger being trimmer.
Taken within the last few weeks

This was taken in December i believe - I think I was 20# away from goal,back when I was a bit curvier. I was feeling pretty good, but, I like how I look better now even if my T&A disappeared since this photo was taken.

This is my before picture at over 300#. I don't have much to say about it but I KEEP looking at my befores to remind myself how far I have come.

It is my personal experience that post massive weight loss, I thought I was not attractive enough to find a man who interests me. The last 3 plus years I learned that is not true. I am no beauty queen but being fit, clean, nice hair and skin, relatively youthful looking (all this for my age of course) puts me ahead of much of the "competition".
I think the reason I struggled with finding a great relationship was due to many things already mentioned but also because I wasn't clear in my own mind about some things and sent very mixed signals. I also went through times when I thought I was being too picky about looks (or whatever) but I just didn't feel the attraction when I tried to date someone who didn't appeal to me. I really prioritized what I want in a relationship and decided I'd rather be single then not get those things; that was important step forward. I didn't realize it at the time, but I have had some emotional growth and view things differently.
The day I admitted to myself that I want a boyfriend but the idea of marrying again gives me the heebie jeebbies was when things improved -I was just clearer in my own mind. I spent several months not dating and actually getting"ok" with the idea of being solo. I even made a list of new hobbies and interests to explore; but then I met my boyfriend and all THAT went out the window..LOL. I gladly give him a great deal of my time and focus these days. I don't expect we will be life partners but what a great time we are having!!!

It is my personal experience that post massive weight loss, I thought I was not attractive enough to find a man who interests me. The last 3 plus years I learned that is not true. I am no beauty queen but being fit, clean, nice hair and skin, relatively youthful looking (all this for my age of course) puts me ahead of much of the "competition".
I think the reason I struggled with finding a great relationship was due to many things already mentioned but also because I wasn't clear in my own mind about some things and sent very mixed signals. I also went through times when I thought I was being too picky about looks (or whatever) but I just didn't feel the attraction when I tried to date someone who didn't appeal to me. I really prioritized what I want in a relationship and decided I'd rather be single then not get those things; that was important step forward. I didn't realize it at the time, but I have had some emotional growth and view things differently.
The day I admitted to myself that I want a boyfriend but the idea of marrying again gives me the heebie jeebbies was when things improved -I was just clearer in my own mind. I spent several months not dating and actually getting"ok" with the idea of being solo. I even made a list of new hobbies and interests to explore; but then I met my boyfriend and all THAT went out the window..LOL. I gladly give him a great deal of my time and focus these days. I don't expect we will be life partners but what a great time we are having!!!

It is my personal experience that post massive weight loss, I thought I was not attractive enough to find a man who interests me. The last 3 plus years I learned that is not true. I am no beauty queen but being fit, clean, nice hair and skin, relatively youthful looking (all this for my age of course) puts me ahead of much of the "competition".
I think the reason I struggled with finding a great relationship was due to many things already mentioned but also because I wasn't clear in my own mind about some things and sent very mixed signals. I also went through times when I thought I was being too picky about looks (or whatever) but I just didn't feel the attraction when I tried to date someone who didn't appeal to me. I really prioritized what I want in a relationship and decided I'd rather be single then not get those things; that was important step forward. I didn't realize it at the time, but I have had some emotional growth and view things differently.
The day I admitted to myself that I want a boyfriend but the idea of marrying again gives me the heebie jeebbies was when things improved -I was just clearer in my own mind. I spent several months not dating and actually getting"ok" with the idea of being solo. I even made a list of new hobbies and interests to explore; but then I met my boyfriend and all THAT went out the window..LOL. I gladly give him a great deal of my time and focus these days. I don't expect we will be life partners but what a great time we are having!!!

I had the band for 10 years, found myself weghing about 40# more than I started. I revised to the sleeve 4 years ago and maintaining 150#weight loss.
I think the sleeve is easier to live with. Less hunger, less pain...HOWEVER...don't be fooled into thinking that the hunger reduction lasts forever. Many of us experience the return to hunger.
I choose a bariatric practice with lots of support and education which I think helped me be more successful with the sleeve.
I think you should research the sleeve and bypass - both good choices.
Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Kidney stone; not sure it is related to WLS..but it happened when I was over 4 years out. The pain was off the hook.
Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

So painful. I did not have an affair so I can't exactly relate, but I think I relate to that feeling of an empty spot in your heart that you try to fill. In my past I have tried to fill it with food, even alcohol but those were short term fixes. I wonder if the tendency toward "flirting" is something similiar - trying to fill a painful, empty spot in your own heart. I am not a huge counseling advocate, but it seems to me that examining yourself right now, perhaps with a counselor can be super beneficial. I lost 150# and I call 2013 as my crazy year because I was so disoriented. If I was prone to using flirting/temptations/men to fill that emotional void - it would have been bad. It might be helpful to tackle this stuff BEFORE you lose weight because WLS, rapid weight loss, becoming thin is a head trip for some of us ... and you may go through some tough, and emotional times.
So, I had a past relationship that I had just a hard time letting go of. It wasn't even the relationship, it was the IDEA of the relationship that was painful. So, there was a phrase that I found hurtful "move on let go" and I made it my password on something I logged onto daily. It stabbed me in the heart everytime I typed it, but in about 1-2 months it stopped doing that. I changed the password, and I no longer felt that wanting.
If I were you, I would remove yourself (or him or whatever) from any contact, any social media, delete his number. There is no reason you should even know who he is dating...
Good luck in working this out. I am single after being in 2 long term relationships basically my whole adult life... and although there are things about singledom I love; having a loving supportive husband is a lot better.

I went to an eating disorders clinic pre WLS to assess " what is wrong with me". I feel I was accurately diagnosed; not an eating disorder, but disordered eating. I am not 100 percent of the difference but I didnt have binge, anorexia, bulimia or anything like that. My history was of knowing how to eat healthy and being able to do it for extended periods of time but then..it was like..I just couldn't do it anymore and start overeating again. The counselor said I used overeating as an emotional ballast...like everything would be "in control" and then suddenly I just couldn't repress the urges to eat too much of the wrong junkie food.
Since being at goal my perspectives have evolved. I had a physical issue - being freaking hungry 24/7, but I did use food as a sedative and obesity as a shield and protection. I discovered that my old ways masked anxiety, protected me from heartbreak, and made me feel safe.
I know this is why I ALWAYS regained in the past...I couldn't tolerate all that. So, my real transformation went beyond losing half my body weight, it extended to becoming a more complete, vulnerable but strong person who really loves life and sucks it all in instead of wearing a shield to protect myself.
I still see a counselor from time to time and the reoccurring theme is that it is okay that I love deeply, feel losses intensely(like my dog dying this fall is still a heartbreak) and I don't need to"fix" it, it is ok to just feel it.
So in the end, I think for some of us dealing with underlying issues and changing bad old habits is key to maintaining. As a wise woman on this forum once said "you don't get over 300# without some kind of issues"...

If 100percent regain is what his patients experience I would be thankful for the info and seek a surgeon with a better track record.
Yes, some regain happens, maintenance takes diligence. I lost 150# and have been maintaining. My sleeve was Dec 2011 - 4 1/4 years ago. I'll let everyone know where I am at 5years post op in Dec.
Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Kidney stone; not sure it is related to WLS..but it happened when I was over 4 years out. The pain was off the hook.
Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I took down my profile etc - not currently doing the online thing. I have reflected on why i feel so jaded (or whatever) about it and I think it boils down to a couple of things. It takes me a long time to warm up to a person in the sense of feeling true attachment, stirrings of "love" etc. I am very outgoing/social so I am comfortable with people from the beginning, but I am talking about that feeling of being invested. What made sense to me was to casually date, likely more than one person at a time, slowly getting to know them until those feelings start to emerge. I think that is how it used to be done pre internet? I dunno, I spent most of my life as part of couple so surely not the expert on dating of any era.
Anyway, what i have found is that most relationship oriented/seeking people want you to focus on them, "give it a chance" exclusesively. I can see their point, and I have tried that a couple of times with the typical it lasts 3-4 months results. I have talked to enough others who have been single for awhile that it is very common for them to rotate through "girlfriends" or "boyfriends" in about that time frame. Long enough the newness wears off but before either is committed to working through differences.
When I tried the strategy of "just dating" I generally encountered men who were not very relationship focused and when our situation didn't turn physical right away, they tended to disappear.
I think some women really get into the being "wined and dined" or the excitement of someone new. I tried to convince myself that was fun, but really it often felt like work. I have more fun going dancing, hanging with friends and family, going riding, going hiking etc. I have been asking myself if i felt the need to be charming and entertaining (not even because i wanted a second date but just because!) and that is what felt like work? More likely it is that feeling of being interviewed, observed, watched for signs of "show stoppers" - it is like the culture of online dating is REALLY FAST I NEED TO FIND OUT IF YOU ARE ACCEPTABLE. The other experience I have is the feeling like "oh good you look like your pictures, lets go!" as though there is no real interest in me as a person. I get all that, and I probably do the exact same thing, but I hate it and am tired of it.
So, at least for now, i have decided I am not suited for this online thing. I now meet lots of men in real life that are interested in me (okay, I haven't met any that i am interested in, but it is a start!). I am just gonna keep doing the things in life that I do and just set this aside for now.

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

I had very poor results with lapband, but have been maintaining a huge weight loss post sleeve (over 160# lost). I think there is a real difference between the two procedures, but I also think there were real differences in ME too.
I was better educated, less defensive, considerably more desparate for success by the time I was sleeved. I mean, I felt like it was life or death to get some weight off. That level of motivation and unrelenting effort for about 14 months got me to goal. It is pretty easy to slack off once you have had initial success, but if you have alot of weight to lose like I did, you just can't slack off or you won't make your goal.

Nope. They weren't doing surgery "down there"

We have had a terrible terrible ski season in the Pacific Northwest. no snow.... seriously, even in the mountains.
In January we had a pittance at Stevens pass so I got all excited and headed up after a half day of work to an afternoon of skiing. My son is an advanced snowboarder, but i am still skiing the bunny slopes so we parted ways. I have to pick up rental gear whilst he owns (thanks Mom) tuned gear just right for him.
so, I am in a huge hurry to make it to my 1 o clock lesson, and the place was pretty dead on a Thursday afternoon on a crappy snow season day so I decide to multitask, dash into the restroom whilst putting on my snow pants etc. I leaned the skis outside the stall, but was gearing up inside.
I am in there a few minutes when I get this odd feeling. Something is wrong. I look around - everything LOOKS normal. Then I realize what is missing - women's restrooms have sounds... chatty sounds. The sounds of two ladies talking, or a mom with her kids.. you hear voices. always... even on dead midweek day... somebody must walk in. I hear silence. another minute passes as I am gearing up and I start thinking.. I think I need to get out of here.
I take a deep breath, open the door.. and yup.. two guys are at the sink washing up. Out of the corner of my eye I see the urinals with a dude standing there with his back to me, thank goodness - how did I miss this obvious clue - I am in the FREAKING MENS ROOM!
It's not like I can make a quick exit.. oh no, I gotta gather up skis, poles, my gear bag, etc etc.
One of MANY nice things I can say about dudes, they don't freak out about this kind of stuff. They both had the decency to pretend I wasn't there whilst I tried to look as boylike as possible in my form fitting cold weather under armours... crap... they might have seen definately saw my profile in the mirror!
So, during my lesson I tell this story to a young woman as we ride the ski lift up and she says... I almost walked in there too.. at the last minute I saw the sign!
sheesh... see how easy it is to accidently conduct business in the "wrong room"!?!

We have had a terrible terrible ski season in the Pacific Northwest. no snow.... seriously, even in the mountains.
In January we had a pittance at Stevens pass so I got all excited and headed up after a half day of work to an afternoon of skiing. My son is an advanced snowboarder, but i am still skiing the bunny slopes so we parted ways. I have to pick up rental gear whilst he owns (thanks Mom) tuned gear just right for him.
so, I am in a huge hurry to make it to my 1 o clock lesson, and the place was pretty dead on a Thursday afternoon on a crappy snow season day so I decide to multitask, dash into the restroom whilst putting on my snow pants etc. I leaned the skis outside the stall, but was gearing up inside.
I am in there a few minutes when I get this odd feeling. Something is wrong. I look around - everything LOOKS normal. Then I realize what is missing - women's restrooms have sounds... chatty sounds. The sounds of two ladies talking, or a mom with her kids.. you hear voices. always... even on dead midweek day... somebody must walk in. I hear silence. another minute passes as I am gearing up and I start thinking.. I think I need to get out of here.
I take a deep breath, open the door.. and yup.. two guys are at the sink washing up. Out of the corner of my eye I see the urinals with a dude standing there with his back to me, thank goodness - how did I miss this obvious clue - I am in the FREAKING MENS ROOM!
It's not like I can make a quick exit.. oh no, I gotta gather up skis, poles, my gear bag, etc etc.
One of MANY nice things I can say about dudes, they don't freak out about this kind of stuff. They both had the decency to pretend I wasn't there whilst I tried to look as boylike as possible in my form fitting cold weather under armours... crap... they might have seen definately saw my profile in the mirror!
So, during my lesson I tell this story to a young woman as we ride the ski lift up and she says... I almost walked in there too.. at the last minute I saw the sign!
sheesh... see how easy it is to accidently conduct business in the "wrong room"!?!

Actually, I saw an interesting analysis on the relationship between states that legalize same sex marriage, allow medical marijuana and then allow recreational marijuana. It happens in exactly that order... so... is there a casual relationship or causal?
Proud to be from WA state where love is recognized regardless of orientation and pot is seen as ho hum... bring on the coffee! :0

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

There is already a huge long thread dedicated to before and afters.. but it is such a fun topic I don't mind repeating!!
This is what losing 150 pounds does for you! A girlfriend of mine said the sweetest thing "I didn't know you had a teenage daughter"...LOL. I do feel like I look younger being trimmer.
Taken within the last few weeks

This was taken in December i believe - I think I was 20# away from goal,back when I was a bit curvier. I was feeling pretty good, but, I like how I look better now even if my T&A disappeared since this photo was taken.

This is my before picture at over 300#. I don't have much to say about it but I KEEP looking at my befores to remind myself how far I have come.

Statistically that seems to be true, but there are plenty of us who revised and did lose well. I think it depends alot on circumstances and expectations. If you are very near goal and you revise, you will have to fight to get those last pounds off! If you are more like me, and had completely regained/no value from band anymore, I think it is a different story.
I used the knowledge of this risk to think hard about what to do differently and I think that helped. Here is a summary of my stats:
March 2001: banded at 272
March 2002: lowest weight about 205
late 2003: fill removed due to intolerable reflux and too much vomiting... regaining
June 2005: lifetime highest weight 332#
2006: Lost 85 pounds on weight watchers and spent a number of years weighing in the 240s range
2009-2011: Fluctuating between 270s-310 range - diet after diet....
December 2011: start of preop 308/ surgery day 300#
February 2013: hit goal of 158# (lost 150# in 14 months)
Oct 2013: weighed 150# had plastics
April 2014: weighed about 140#
Current (Sept 2014): ranging 140-145#
I will be 3 years out from surgery in just a few months. I have had huge success with the sleeve and very poor with the band. I learned alot from my band experiences and have tried to leverage it!