CowgirlJane

We have had a terrible terrible ski season in the Pacific Northwest. no snow.... seriously, even in the mountains.
In January we had a pittance at Stevens pass so I got all excited and headed up after a half day of work to an afternoon of skiing. My son is an advanced snowboarder, but i am still skiing the bunny slopes so we parted ways. I have to pick up rental gear whilst he owns (thanks Mom) tuned gear just right for him.
so, I am in a huge hurry to make it to my 1 o clock lesson, and the place was pretty dead on a Thursday afternoon on a crappy snow season day so I decide to multitask, dash into the restroom whilst putting on my snow pants etc. I leaned the skis outside the stall, but was gearing up inside.
I am in there a few minutes when I get this odd feeling. Something is wrong. I look around - everything LOOKS normal. Then I realize what is missing - women's restrooms have sounds... chatty sounds. The sounds of two ladies talking, or a mom with her kids.. you hear voices. always... even on dead midweek day... somebody must walk in. I hear silence. another minute passes as I am gearing up and I start thinking.. I think I need to get out of here.
I take a deep breath, open the door.. and yup.. two guys are at the sink washing up. Out of the corner of my eye I see the urinals with a dude standing there with his back to me, thank goodness - how did I miss this obvious clue - I am in the FREAKING MENS ROOM!
It's not like I can make a quick exit.. oh no, I gotta gather up skis, poles, my gear bag, etc etc.
One of MANY nice things I can say about dudes, they don't freak out about this kind of stuff. They both had the decency to pretend I wasn't there whilst I tried to look as boylike as possible in my form fitting cold weather under armours... crap... they might have seen definately saw my profile in the mirror!
So, during my lesson I tell this story to a young woman as we ride the ski lift up and she says... I almost walked in there too.. at the last minute I saw the sign!
sheesh... see how easy it is to accidently conduct business in the "wrong room"!?!

There is already a huge long thread dedicated to before and afters.. but it is such a fun topic I don't mind repeating!!
This is what losing 150 pounds does for you! A girlfriend of mine said the sweetest thing "I didn't know you had a teenage daughter"...LOL. I do feel like I look younger being trimmer.
Taken within the last few weeks

This was taken in December i believe - I think I was 20# away from goal,back when I was a bit curvier. I was feeling pretty good, but, I like how I look better now even if my T&A disappeared since this photo was taken.

This is my before picture at over 300#. I don't have much to say about it but I KEEP looking at my befores to remind myself how far I have come.

Thanks for the heads up. Warning, the vanilla and strawberry flavors do not keep well. They curdle very quickly - but I stock up on the chocolate!

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

You might be reading too much into this. I have a sis your height, slight build and she's really big at 180-200#. I dunno, I was so miserable under all that fat I didn't care much about what others looked like....but that's just me.
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This makes me sad. I am so incredibly grateful for the work and family and friends support not just for WLS but also for massive reconstructive plastics later. remember, keep your eye on the prize which is your own health and not let this stuff derail you.

Okay, I have a "story". I went on a date or two with a guy that told me a story...he and this lady got into shaving each other. One day, she calls from the HOSPITAL because those uncomfortable bumps somehow turned into something really bad - like a nasty bacteria got in there. Her pubic area was swollen huge and it was no joke, a serious problem. She recovered, but he told me looking at that infected swollen pubic zone cured him of any future interest...
I have had surgeries, over the decades in Germany, USA and Mexico and none of them have required or encouraged shaving.

Nope. They weren't doing surgery "down there"

I went to an eating disorders clinic pre WLS to assess " what is wrong with me". I feel I was accurately diagnosed; not an eating disorder, but disordered eating. I am not 100 percent of the difference but I didnt have binge, anorexia, bulimia or anything like that. My history was of knowing how to eat healthy and being able to do it for extended periods of time but then..it was like..I just couldn't do it anymore and start overeating again. The counselor said I used overeating as an emotional ballast...like everything would be "in control" and then suddenly I just couldn't repress the urges to eat too much of the wrong junkie food.
Since being at goal my perspectives have evolved. I had a physical issue - being freaking hungry 24/7, but I did use food as a sedative and obesity as a shield and protection. I discovered that my old ways masked anxiety, protected me from heartbreak, and made me feel safe.
I know this is why I ALWAYS regained in the past...I couldn't tolerate all that. So, my real transformation went beyond losing half my body weight, it extended to becoming a more complete, vulnerable but strong person who really loves life and sucks it all in instead of wearing a shield to protect myself.
I still see a counselor from time to time and the reoccurring theme is that it is okay that I love deeply, feel losses intensely(like my dog dying this fall is still a heartbreak) and I don't need to"fix" it, it is ok to just feel it.
So in the end, I think for some of us dealing with underlying issues and changing bad old habits is key to maintaining. As a wise woman on this forum once said "you don't get over 300# without some kind of issues"...

Profile isnt my problem, get plenty of dates... just thinking my head is isn't into it all right now. I sincerely want a relationship but don't really want to date. It was fun for awhile but it just isn't right now... and often feels like a waste of my precious time. I hope I find a way forward at some point.

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

So, I am a middle aged woman and definitely have a drop in hormones. My libido has dropped some but not alot. So, what I will share is that with the hormone drop my girl parts can get...uncomfortable. I found topical hormone treatments helps build back that"thin tissue" and it is very low risk Healthwise (much lower hormone level than pills).
The other comment, and it may not apply to anyone posting here...but there are things a man can do that drives me wild with anticipation. The mental part of it becomes even more interesting and important as I have aged. I feel as though I have ready overshared...so will stop now.
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Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

If 100percent regain is what his patients experience I would be thankful for the info and seek a surgeon with a better track record.
Yes, some regain happens, maintenance takes diligence. I lost 150# and have been maintaining. My sleeve was Dec 2011 - 4 1/4 years ago. I'll let everyone know where I am at 5years post op in Dec.
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Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this!
We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

OK. I am not great at multi-tasking. I am going to delete my POF profile and hope for the best. Wish me luck.

When we write things on forums, it isn't just the original poster, or the responders who read it. I betcha there will be many lurkers who will read this thread and it's good that they can see various points of view. My remarks are targeted at those people who are trying to understand this surgery and if it is a good idea for them. It's a freaking scary proposition to have part of your stomach removed!
My personal experience as a sleever can be summarized like this:
Preop - Terrified and anxious, I had to get short term medication to make it through the last week before surgery. The word "hot mess" comes to mind. It wasn't because I didn't want to be sleeved, it was because I had such a fear of the operation, such a fear of failing AGAIN (I was a failed band patient and there is no feeling of failure like failing after bariatric surgery) First weeks post op were very miserable and I was still fat. Struggle to get in enough Water, exhausted, anti-social, diarrea all that stuff. I never regretted it though because I knew this often happened and I just had to "muscle through it" Introducing solid food was another awful experience. I felt like I had to do it perfectly right since I was so desperate to succeed. I feared damaging my sleeve, I felt sick to my stomach, everything tasted weird, Water tasted like it had metal in it.... and I was still fat. The next few months were surreal. I didn't feel like myself and I can't even articulate why. While I got the hang of eating properly, it was disorienting for food to taste bad, to eat so little, to have food restrictions, eating FELT LIKE A CHORE. Then, I had an "ah ha" moment - this is the window of opportunity to change my relationship with food. Food is not recreation, it's nutrtion - novel concept for me! I often felt I would be happier just not eating, but I realized that is another form of disordered eating, so I took on the approach that food is like medicine - follow my surgeons and NUTs directions and take it on faith it would get better. Still fat, but down alot. By 3-4 months out, people were noticing the weight loss, I was feeling more myself emotionally, I was not as naseaous, I could tolerate a wider variety of food and it started tasting normal. I was in a good workout routine and loving that I could do more. Yes, still fat, but not nearly AS fat. I started thinking that amazing things MIGHT be possible. At around 8-9 months my appetite returned, my weight loss slowed and I was still about 40# from goal. I made a conscious decision to evaluate what was important to me and I got my butt back on track with good steady losses. At 14 months I made my goal of losing 150#. I could wear cute clothes, people didn't recognize me, I could eat pretty much anything (exceptions are rich ice cream gives me cramps and spicy food can irritate my tummy a bit) I am nearly 5 years post op and living a good life as a normal sized, active woman with a loving boyfriend. I am living a day to day life that I could only dream of. Many people dont know I had surgery - I eat small portions of very normal food. My kids are shocked when they see my before pix... but they tell me I changed inside too, not just the weight loss. I wear makeup, I love to dress up, go out, social butterfly all that. Life is pretty damn good and I am thankful for the help of the sleeve to get me here.

In fact, there was a fairly strongly worded post created by a site administrator making it clear that "vets" are not really that important here and supposedly cause the issues. There are snarky people everywhere on the internet, but many people who are maintaining at goal provide positive support. I relied on it when I was preop and beyond, but probably more for motivation and seeing the vision of what was possible to achieve post sleeve. I have come to the conclusion that advice is not particularly welcome AND now that everyone sees things on mobile devices they can't see tickers, signatures and other things that I found so motivating in my early stages. Bottom line, since it is hard to view the photos and the "stats" it is much harder to find experienced people to use as your motivation, mentor, etc.
Kindle, I normally don't care for "flounce" posts but I am pretty much there with you on your reasons and want to let you know that you will be missed.

There is already a huge long thread dedicated to before and afters.. but it is such a fun topic I don't mind repeating!!
This is what losing 150 pounds does for you! A girlfriend of mine said the sweetest thing "I didn't know you had a teenage daughter"...LOL. I do feel like I look younger being trimmer.
Taken within the last few weeks

This was taken in December i believe - I think I was 20# away from goal,back when I was a bit curvier. I was feeling pretty good, but, I like how I look better now even if my T&A disappeared since this photo was taken.

This is my before picture at over 300#. I don't have much to say about it but I KEEP looking at my befores to remind myself how far I have come.

Here is another perspective. ...I had sleeve in Dec 2011...took me 14 months to lose 150#. For the first time in my life I am maintaining a normal size for over 3 years now!!! The whole thing with WLS isn't how fast you lose it, it's how long you keep it lost!
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