CowgirlJane

Like you, I was fairly high BMI when I started this. I had more than non stop comments - I had people have effing meltdowns on me - happy for me, shocked for me, jealous of me, in disbelief I turned out so good - ha. I work for a global company, so some people I don't see often, so this has gone on for a few years.... I made a decision to help people through this. My attitude is this - for much of my adult life I weighed in the 200-300 (all time high 350!) weight range and these people were very good to me through all that. I consciously chose to be patient, smile, accept all remarks (Weird and cool) as meant with good intentions. Only 1 person really annoyed me, and in the end, that was fine too - she is just kinda nutty and said some very wild things. Example - she kept checking my badge to prove it was really me. AFter about the 20th time, that joke got old.... The good news is, that years later, nobody remembers I was obese - isn't that crazy?

I vomited a couple of times a few months post op. In both cases, it was from "wolfing" food. Just not a long term issue for me. I think if you are vomiting weekly, you need to eat slower, eat less at a time etc. The best advice is to never seek to feel full, eat to absence of hunger....

My sleeve was Dec 2011; hit goal Feb 2013 after losing 150#. I was a pretty prolific poster, including sharing my plastics experience. There is alot of truth that people just move on - WLS itself isn't really that central to my life. Another reason haven't posted here much lately because I concluded that newer people prefer advice from other newer people - advice/input from me simply isn't relevant and I am okay with that - it just isn't a good use of my time. It took me a while to figure that out - but it is the simple truth. Part 2 is that as much as i would like support from other vets (my experience is maintaining has been much harder 5+ years post op) I can't seem to really find that here. I have always disliked OH, maybe that is where many "vets" have moved to, but i didn't. So, it is unfortunate for me that there isn't an active Vets community anymore because this site was a big source of support for me a few years back. There are a lot of Facebook groups, but I guess I prefer the forum format.

I feel like I went through a lot of emotional changes after losing 150#. I think you really need to be in a good headspace to have success in dating and love. I am in my 50s. finding a compatible man with a mutual attraction and good match lifestyle wise is very very hard. I have made a friend (not dating) with someone I like spending time with, but due to a variety of reasons - I don't see it as a long term future. A big one is he is 13 years my senior and has some pretty serious health issues. Story of my middle aged single life. I am thinking I may wind up single. I have been in 2 long term relationships in my life, one of them a marriage - maybe I am just not cut out for that in spite of the fact that I want to be part of a couple.

okay, my build is kinda skinny butt, top heavy by nature. Wearing jeans, it is fine but I just bought a daring new outfit - which I love, except it makes my butt look even flatter and skinnier than it it is! This is the item, I got it for a song on their clearance rack: https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/Lattice+Neck+Jumpsuit/570147604 Never in my life have I been able to wear a jumper (pant type) because I always looked like a barrel in anything like this! It is a classy looking outfit and I think it is very flattering - except it makes my butt look even flatter than it is. Because it drapes, it does tend to hide the top/bottom size difference (I am 2 sizes bigger on top than bottom!) so that part is good. I was thinking about trying to find some sort of shapewear, pantyhose or something to help. i don't really want to wear fake butt pads, more like something that gives a bit of shape. Any recommendations?

I can't believe it - 4 years since that scary day I was sleeved! I couldn't be more pleased with my results!

We have had a terrible terrible ski season in the Pacific Northwest. no snow.... seriously, even in the mountains. In January we had a pittance at Stevens pass so I got all excited and headed up after a half day of work to an afternoon of skiing. My son is an advanced snowboarder, but i am still skiing the bunny slopes so we parted ways. I have to pick up rental gear whilst he owns (thanks Mom) tuned gear just right for him. so, I am in a huge hurry to make it to my 1 o clock lesson, and the place was pretty dead on a Thursday afternoon on a crappy snow season day so I decide to multitask, dash into the restroom whilst putting on my snow pants etc. I leaned the skis outside the stall, but was gearing up inside. I am in there a few minutes when I get this odd feeling. Something is wrong. I look around - everything LOOKS normal. Then I realize what is missing - women's restrooms have sounds... chatty sounds. The sounds of two ladies talking, or a mom with her kids.. you hear voices. always... even on dead midweek day... somebody must walk in. I hear silence. another minute passes as I am gearing up and I start thinking.. I think I need to get out of here. I take a deep breath, open the door.. and yup.. two guys are at the sink washing up. Out of the corner of my eye I see the urinals with a dude standing there with his back to me, thank goodness - how did I miss this obvious clue - I am in the FREAKING MENS ROOM! It's not like I can make a quick exit.. oh no, I gotta gather up skis, poles, my gear bag, etc etc. One of MANY nice things I can say about dudes, they don't freak out about this kind of stuff. They both had the decency to pretend I wasn't there whilst I tried to look as boylike as possible in my form fitting cold weather under armours... crap... they might have seen definately saw my profile in the mirror! So, during my lesson I tell this story to a young woman as we ride the ski lift up and she says... I almost walked in there too.. at the last minute I saw the sign! sheesh... see how easy it is to accidently conduct business in the "wrong room"!?!

Michael (mine!) is a great boyfriend but we had a couple of strong disagreements. After the first one we both just ignored it, second one we had the discussion "is this relationship worth it?" And we both strongly said YES! After the 3rd we spent a few days apart and he told me thought he finally had it figured out. He can be very adament about something and it triggers an unconscious fear reaction in me and I get unreasonable. I also figured out what set him off. So we don't walk on eggshells and still have strong personalities and opinions but we respect each other enough to find ways to speak our minds without setting the other one off. He is not perfect but I am deeply flawed as well. I've never been with someone who I feel completely honest and the "real me" without fear of rejection. That's worth a lot.

Ok, my opinion is some people hide their crazy pretty well....like it can take months before you begin to know a person . However I personally can't build a relationship while juggling many men. What I did when I met my boyfriend is i dated, non exclusively for around 6-8 weeks. When I was ready to be exclusive I stated my desire/intentions. I knew he was pretty into me so he was GLAD to hear me say this! We just celebrated our 6 months together, and we see each other almost daily. It's going good.

Sept 1 will be 6 months since I met Michael. He has been teaching me to golf (driving range) and he was so proud of how well I did my first time on the course. I am a beginner for sure, but I was alot better than others I saw - thanks to his coaching! We have an awesome love life, I know all of his friends, he knows mine... its feeling like a for reals relationship. My joint pain is really a problem though. I keep trying to just muscle through it, but it makes me feel sad. It makes me fear becoming disabled, of feeling like I did when I was obese. And the issue on these forums - don't worry about it. It is just the constant theme that vets are "the problem". If you don;t read or post much you won't even notice it, but I am just kind of done with wasting time on it.

@@feedyoureye Kim, Wow that is alot of drama and stress. The whole maintenance thing is such a battle. I started my sleeve story at 308, maintained under my goal of 158 for a long time, even got down under 140 at one point. I am now about 173 -175 and holding steady for several months (at least I stopped gaining!). I still like my looks but my arthritis is really a problem and I know I would be better 20-25# lighter but I can't seem to buckle down and make it happen. @@UK Cathy How are you doing now? Would love to hear an update! @@Oregondaisy Denise are you still seeing Mike? I am doing awesome in many many ways but I got some pretty bad news. You know I have a bum hip (right) and when I went in for my 4th injection, the ortho doc saw my CT scan I had done with the kidney stone. It was not intended to view arthritis but he told me I have severe arthritis in my right hip, moderate in my left, and severe to moderate in my lower back. The scan didn't show my upper back, but I feel like I have it there too. I have already been diagnosied with severe arthritis in both knees. Obesity has taken a real toll on me and I am angry at myself over it. I realize that isn't productive, but it is hard to let go of the regrets and grief sometimes. Good news I am doing really well with my boyfriend. He has taught me to play golf, he is so loving to me. He has alot of flaws too - don't get me wrong - but I am enjoying having a lover and friend by my side. Work is hellish. Layoffs mean I got more work. Grateful for a good job, but pretty tired.

I went on decaf first, but by 6 weeks post op I was back to a normal consumption. I am nearly 5 years post sleeve and drink coffee daily.

Over lake in Bellevue has one open to all - don't need to be a patient. 5 years ago I went once, very good, at the time bypass focused.

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

FWIW - I posted this on a different thread. I never had regrets, I feel I had no choice as obesity was quite literally killing me, but it sure as heck wasn't easy either..... My personal experience as a sleever can be summarized like this: Preop - Terrified and anxious, I had to get short term medication to make it through the last week before surgery. The word "hot mess" comes to mind. It wasn't because I didn't want to be sleeved, it was because I had such a fear of the operation, such a fear of failing AGAIN (I was a failed band patient and there is no feeling of failure like failing after bariatric surgery) First weeks post op were very miserable and I was still fat. Struggle to get in enough Water, exhausted, anti-social, diarrea all that stuff. I never regretted it though because I knew this often happened and I just had to "muscle through it" Introducing solid food was another awful experience. I felt like I had to do it perfectly right since I was so desperate to succeed. I feared damaging my sleeve, I felt sick to my stomach, everything tasted weird, water tasted like it had metal in it.... and I was still fat. The next few months were surreal. I didn't feel like myself and I can't even articulate why. While I got the hang of eating properly, it was disorienting for food to taste bad, to eat so little, to have food restrictions, eating FELT LIKE A CHORE. Then, I had an "ah ha" moment - this is the window of opportunity to change my relationship with food. Food is not recreation, it's nutrtion - novel concept for me! I often felt I would be happier just not eating, but I realized that is another form of disordered eating, so I took on the approach that food is like medicine - follow my surgeons and NUTs directions and take it on faith it would get better. Still fat, but down alot. By 3-4 months out, people were noticing the weight loss, I was feeling more myself emotionally, I was not as naseaous, I could tolerate a wider variety of food and it started tasting normal. I was in a good workout routine and loving that I could do more. Yes, still fat, but not nearly AS fat. I started thinking that amazing things MIGHT be possible. At around 8-9 months my appetite returned, my weight loss slowed and I was still about 40# from goal. I made a conscious decision to evaluate what was important to me and I got my butt back on track with good steady losses. At 14 months I made my goal of losing 150#. I could wear cute clothes, people didn't recognize me, I could eat pretty much anything (exceptions are rich ice cream gives me cramps and spicy food can irritate my tummy a bit) I am nearly 5 years post op and living a good life as a normal sized, active woman with a loving boyfriend. I am living a day to day life that I could only dream of. Many people dont know I had surgery - I eat small portions of very normal food. My kids are shocked when they see my before pix... but they tell me I changed inside too, not just the weight loss. I wear makeup, I love to dress up, go out, social butterfly all that. Life is pretty damn good and I am thankful for the help of the sleeve to get me here.

I think it is excellent for preops to see all sides of bariatric surgery - the good, the bad, the ugly. @@GinaCampbell I would respectfully request that you update us when you hit about 3, 6 and 12 months post op. It is good information for people regardless of the conclusion you draw.

sip sip sip When you are eating food (they didnt even LET me eat food at 2weeks out)... chew chew chew - tiny quantities and slow. Go slow, listen to your body. There is so much swelling those early weeks, it can be pretty rough.

Ex's don't get a vote. What an asshat.

Amazon prime day had a big discount so I took the plunge. I haven't been in a cooking mood so haven't even taken it out of the box, but want to experiment. For those of you that have one - any advice on where to find good recipes etc? Any favorites?

When we write things on forums, it isn't just the original poster, or the responders who read it. I betcha there will be many lurkers who will read this thread and it's good that they can see various points of view. My remarks are targeted at those people who are trying to understand this surgery and if it is a good idea for them. It's a freaking scary proposition to have part of your stomach removed! My personal experience as a sleever can be summarized like this: Preop - Terrified and anxious, I had to get short term medication to make it through the last week before surgery. The word "hot mess" comes to mind. It wasn't because I didn't want to be sleeved, it was because I had such a fear of the operation, such a fear of failing AGAIN (I was a failed band patient and there is no feeling of failure like failing after bariatric surgery) First weeks post op were very miserable and I was still fat. Struggle to get in enough Water, exhausted, anti-social, diarrea all that stuff. I never regretted it though because I knew this often happened and I just had to "muscle through it" Introducing solid food was another awful experience. I felt like I had to do it perfectly right since I was so desperate to succeed. I feared damaging my sleeve, I felt sick to my stomach, everything tasted weird, water tasted like it had metal in it.... and I was still fat. The next few months were surreal. I didn't feel like myself and I can't even articulate why. While I got the hang of eating properly, it was disorienting for food to taste bad, to eat so little, to have food restrictions, eating FELT LIKE A CHORE. Then, I had an "ah ha" moment - this is the window of opportunity to change my relationship with food. Food is not recreation, it's nutrtion - novel concept for me! I often felt I would be happier just not eating, but I realized that is another form of disordered eating, so I took on the approach that food is like medicine - follow my surgeons and NUTs directions and take it on faith it would get better. Still fat, but down alot. By 3-4 months out, people were noticing the weight loss, I was feeling more myself emotionally, I was not as naseaous, I could tolerate a wider variety of food and it started tasting normal. I was in a good workout routine and loving that I could do more. Yes, still fat, but not nearly AS fat. I started thinking that amazing things MIGHT be possible. At around 8-9 months my appetite returned, my weight loss slowed and I was still about 40# from goal. I made a conscious decision to evaluate what was important to me and I got my butt back on track with good steady losses. At 14 months I made my goal of losing 150#. I could wear cute clothes, people didn't recognize me, I could eat pretty much anything (exceptions are rich ice cream gives me cramps and spicy food can irritate my tummy a bit) I am nearly 5 years post op and living a good life as a normal sized, active woman with a loving boyfriend. I am living a day to day life that I could only dream of. Many people dont know I had surgery - I eat small portions of very normal food. My kids are shocked when they see my before pix... but they tell me I changed inside too, not just the weight loss. I wear makeup, I love to dress up, go out, social butterfly all that. Life is pretty damn good and I am thankful for the help of the sleeve to get me here.

I am also convinced that we have different nutritional needs. My boyfriend is a trim athletic man. He is a light eater, but grazes alot. I gain weight when I eat that way; he says he gains weight when he eats too much Protein, more typical meals. We compromise by him joining me in mini-meals so I don't get hungry and graze on chips and crackers that he keeps around. He appreciates it that I don't insist that he eat "man sized" portions... so our compromise works. Anyway, my point is that I don't believe one size fits all.

I am a few pounds over goal - but still a normal sized woman. It will be 5 years in December, a dream come true!!! I don't know about Whidbey Island, but Providence, Swedish, Evergreen etc all have support groups. I went to Puget Sound Surgical in Edmonds - they are now called Evita I believe. I recommend them highly, I trust the surgeons but also had good experiences with the entire "program."

I am so sorry for your pain. In my opinion, looking to date right now is not ideal. Time helps clear the mind, makes room in the heart for a new and true love. I have observed that when you look for love when you are so freshly hurt, or not in a good headspace, you risk attracting the wrong person. As to the "why" - I ask myself that about so many people all the time. Just read the news - why do people do such awful things to other people? It is unanswerable, but it is important to believe that they were the ones in the wrong not you. Nobody deserves this kind of blatant disrespect and cruelty and I hope you don't let it make you feel less than desirable.

Hi, I am NE of Seattle. Tons of support groups around here, what general area do you live?

I am a successful sleever, big advocate....however if you have GERD or diabetes please investigate the gastric bypass as it has a.much better track record on those two points. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App