Caribear

Hi all, I need some input here. The insurance company I am currently with requires nine months supervised diet before they will approve surgery. I am going to my third month appointment later this week. However, because our family has been blessed with a new job for my boyfriend, we will probably be losing this insurance in the near future (medicaid). He and his dad are taking over a local business, and they will probably not be able to offer us insurance any time soon. Plus with my pre-existing health conditions I am afraid that we will either be declined for a private family insurance plan, or it will be prohibitively expensive. This means that I will probably end up being self-pay. So here is my question: If it were you, would you just forget about the supervised diet and go right for the surgery ASAP, or would you continue for the remainder of the diet, or something in between? And why would you do this instead of the other options? I'm sort of torn about it. On one hand, I want to just get it done and get on with it. But on the other hand, I feel like it might be smart for me to continue with at least some of the diet to give me time to prepare physically and emotionally. I need some other opinions to help me figure this out. Thanks!

Oh my goodness, Ky, I am so sorry. I'm sending you hugs and prayers. I can't tell you that I know how you feel, because I haven't been through the things you have. But I have been through some pretty serious traumas, and have struggled with PTSD from them as well, and I can tell you that the only thing you can do in those dark moments is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I've been at the point where everything seemed so overwhelming that I couldn't see myself getting through it, but I just had to keep reminding myself that the sun will rise tomorrow morning, the world will keep turning, and life will go on whether I chose to participate in it or not. I had to keep doing the things I knew were good for me, even if I felt too numb to care. And now on the other side I see how all of that has molded me into a person that I like a lot better than I liked the pre-trauma me. I also have chronic pain, and I can tell you that you eventually get used to it, as miserable as that sounds. You have to be forgiving of yourself while you find your new normal. I know things can get overwhelming, but I also know that you can do this. Sending you love and hugs and prayers <3

I'd call your insurance company and see what they have to say. It might just be a mix-up. And I'd call the anesthesiology office too to see what they say. I can't imagine that your insurance would pay for the procedure but not the anesthesia.

I don't have it, nor do I know anyone with it, but I think this would be best discussed with a surgeon. It may not be an issue because lap-band is much less invasive than many other surgeries, but this would definitely be something that your surgeon would have to determine.

I agree with the others, I didn't want to be cut up and rearranged so much that it was non-reversable. I have heard from several others with BMI over 50 that their surgeons were pushing either RNY or BPD/DS. My surgeon has suggested this to me as well, and his reason was that RNY and BPD have higher average success rates. But for me, the numbers aren't different enough for me to agree to be chopped up and stitched back together. No thank you. Your informational seminar should help you decide, but let me say this - don't let anybody pressure you into doing a procedure you're not comfortable doing. Average numbers are just that, the average. It doesn't mean that you can't do better or worse. It's all up to you, really.

I'm so happy for you! Doesn't it feel so great when all your hard work pays off? Go you is right!

Hi Lisa, I haven't been banded yet, but I think it's normal to go through this. It's a major life change. For a lot of us, I think we get sad because we have an unhealthy relationship with food, and the surgery means we have to change it. I have heard several bandsters comparing it to a "break-up" with food. It's always been there, it's always been a comfort to them, but it was not a healthy relationship, so they had to end it. Another thing, especially if you've had a long road to get here, is that depression that comes with the accomplishment of a goal. It happens to a lot of college students after they graduate. You spend so much time working towards this goal, and once it gets here, there's a sense of loss because you've become so used to the "working towards" part. You may have some depression and "what have I done" feelings right afterwards, too, just so you know. But I know you can do this.

I'm from north of Dayton here, not banded yet but hopefully will be in the fall. Nice to meet you!

I'm sorry yesterday was such a rough day for you. I sympathize about the migraines, they just throw everything out of kilter. I am glad you are feeling better today though. I had a rough food day the other day too, so I'm feeling your pain there as well. But yay for the nsv, and double yay for realizing that all you have to do is take a deep breath and keep going forward. I know you can do this!

Hi Tamara, nice to meet you!

We all have different triggers that cause us to overeat. For some people, it's celebrations. For others, it's stress. Or boredom. But for me it is depression, and everything that entails. I would regularly just get into a "funk" where I had super negative thoughts. I got very depressed, and sometimes really angry. I would pout and feel bad about myself, and bad for myself, and eventually end up deciding that nobody cared. And if nobody else cared, I didn't care either. And inevitably, this would end up with me binging on whatever I could eat in the highest volume. The more, the better. That little voice was telling me that I wasn't good enough, and I was trying to shut it up with food. A few years ago, I started to realize that this is what I was doing. I worked with my therapist to try to stop the behavior, because I knew in my head that it was bad for me. But when I would get in that mood, I would get to the point where I just didn't care. My emotions would override my sensibilities every time. And then I suddenly got a revelation. I realized two things - one, that just because my stomach felt a certain way didn't mean that I was hungry; and two, that even if I was hungry, that was ok. It was like someone flipped on the light switch and suddenly I could see clearly. It's not that these ideas were new - in fact, I had been talking about them with my therapist for a year and a half. I honestly can't tell you what it was that did it, but it just suddenly made sense. It went from being words to being real. And I was able to stop binging almost completely. Almost. Yesterday, for whatever reason, that all-too-familiar funk came back. I don't know why. It started out a pretty good day, but as time went on, that little negative voice started getting louder and louder. And before I knew it, I was brooding and thinking about how nobody cared about me. I tried getting myself out of it, but I just couldn't make that voice shut up no matter how hard I tried. And so shortly after my son went to bed, I baked and consumed an entire roll of flaky butter biscuits. With jam. Not all at one sitting, but over the course of several hours. It was as if I couldn't stop myself. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, and I winced at the idea that I would have to write this in my food journal. I imagined the disappointed look on my nutritionist's face when she found out. And I felt awful about that as I licked the jam off my fingertips. It is just amazing to me that such things can happen to a person. How in my head I can know something is the wrong thing to do, yet somehow my emotions put me on auto-pilot and I end up doing it almost against my will. Let me say for the record that I am not crazy, so far as I know. And I am not schizophrenic or bipolar. But every once in a while, my emotions just hijack my body in such a way that I could never explain to someone who had never experienced it. Today I have huge, painfully swollen feet because those biscuits had something like 500 mg of sodium each, and there were eight of them, so that puts me up to 4000 mg just from the biscuits. And because of this, I have vowed that I will not buy those biscuits again. But on the positive side, I do finally realize that this is not the end of the game. All I have to do is clean up the mess and keep moving.

Hi all, long time no blog. Sorry it's been so long, things have been super busy and drama-filled here at home. My boyfriend and his dad have been renovating the business they just bought, so he's been gone all day, every day since the beginning of this month. Then he comes home and works on the computer until I don't know when. He's been under so much stress that it's starting to become a problem for all of us. They've been working frantically to try and open by this weekend, St. Patrick's Day. But unfortunately, today he found out that the previous owners pulled some not-so-funny business with the liquor license, so now that plan has to be scrapped. I've been pretty good food-wise, though, despite all the stress and chaos. I will fully admit that I have had several episodes of stress-induced sugar indulgence, but nothing that has been so bad that it's affected my weight. Thank the Lord. But that brings me to the confounding question. The question that I've been asked about a half-dozen times this month. Every time someone finds out that I'm losing weight, they smile and say "Great, now you don't have to worry about having surgery, right?" It would be frustrating enough to hear that from anyone, but especially so because I've heard it from my mom, my nutritionist, and even my family doctor. And it makes it even more hard for me to get excited about losing this weight. I already have that little negative voice in the back of my head saying "So what, you've done this before! You've lost more than this before, and look what happened! You gained it all back and then some! So you might as well give up now because you're going to fail anyway. Why suffer any longer, just go to the store and buy yourself a bag of Reese's cups and forget about this nonsense!" I guess this question bothers me so much for two reasons. The first reason is that I feel it's too early to decide that I can do it myself this time. My gosh, it's only been 22 pounds. Let's not jump to conclusions. And secondly, if anyone is going to decide that I can do this myself, it should be me! I don't want to be pressured out of surgery just because I've lost 22 pounds! I've got six more months to make up my mind, and then I will decide. Not before then, and not because somebody else thinks I should or shouldn't. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on the positive. I'm working on my food issues, my eating habits, and my emotional relationship with food. And it's hard to believe it, but it's getting easier to ignore that little negative voice. I don't think it'll ever go away, but it is getting quieter, and for that I am incredibly thankful.

I know how you feel about the sugar. I looked for an alternative for a long time, but I can't stand the artificial sweeteners, and I just don't like stevia. But recently I started using coconut sugar, or palm sugar. It doesn't have any fewer calories, but it is supposed to be low-glycemic and keep your blood sugar stable. And I really can tell a big difference. Plus, I think it tastes really yummy! Kind of a nutty, maple-y, brown sugar kind of taste, but not coconut-y. If you are looking for an alternative, you may want to try it. In any case, I wish you the best on your fast. I know how rough it can be, and I'll be praying for a quick and painless detox for you.

You can do this, Kathy! That, I think, is the beauty of the lapband - you can always start over.

Hi Kristy, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I agree with the walking and pool exercise. For a while they were the only things I could do at all. Maybe you could look into some aqua aerobics at your local YMCA, something like a silver sneakers class. I know how much of a struggle it is when you hurt so bad, but it really does help the pain. I hope you don't have to deal with RA too - I just found out that I probably have serum negative RA. I don't know what kind of meds you are on, but a lot of the ones they use to control fibro can cause you to gain weight. I would imagine that they might also make it harder to lose weight as well. Also, check out your sodium intake to see how high it is. I recently found out that I am sensitive to sodium, and cutting it back has helped kick-start my weight loss again. And sodium sensitivity may be made worse by the fibro, since we tend to be sensitive to chemicals anyway. I know it's hard and very frustrating, but you can do this. I'll be praying for you!

I agree with the above posters, you can do this! You can always start over. Something you may want to check on is your sodium intake. My nutritionist said that if your diet is too high in sodium it will cause your weight loss to stall, plus it can make you retain water which will make the number on the scale go up. I was eating 1200-1800 cals per day, burning between 250-600 per day with exercise, and eating low-carb, but wasn't losing weight. My family doc was stumped because for me, 1200 cals is a very-low-calorie diet. My nutritionist told me to keep my sodium below 2000 mg per day, and voila, I lost 5 pounds the first week and have been going down a pound or two per week ever since. I know it's one more thing to keep track of, but it might help you get started in the right direction again. Sodium can be sneaky! I was floored to find out that my lowfat 1% cottage cheese has 918 mg per cup ! I know you can do this. Just try to see it as a temporary setback that you can overcome. I'll be praying for you!

@stephy- thanks, I never even thought of that! @sue- I should have clarified, my boyfriend and I live together with our young child. His income will probably put our household over the qualification limit.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, Nikki. I agree, appeal appeal appeal! And I know that your first instinct is to take it personally, but just remember that it's not about that for them. They are in the business of denying every claim that they can, whether it is necessary or not, because denials usually make people just give up. As unfair as that may be, that's how insurance companies work. I have heard stories about how at some companies, the first decisions are sometimes made simply based on the type of procedure, not on the actual medical need. You are doing the right thing by appealing. On a more positive note, congratulations on your success! I will pray for you too. God is good, and He will provide for you.

I'm not banded yet so I can't say I know how you feel, but don't give up. Remember, it can be repaired! I know it feels like a setback, but don't let it discourage you too much. Recently I heard a man say something along the lines of, "You're not defeated when you fall down, you're only defeated if you don't get back up." Sending you love and hugs and prayers!

I'm sorry you're going through this, indy. I guess I have two things to chip in to the conversation. The first is maybe asking your husband what he would be comfortable with doing. See what he is willing to do, and what he thinks you expect him to do. He may assume that you are going to try to "drag him along" and force him to make sacrifices that he's not comfortable making when it comes to food and lifestyle changes. I know it's hard, and that it would be so much easier if he would go in on it with you, but there are a lot of changes going on in your world right now and sometimes that can feel like too much for a partner. Maybe let him know what you would like from him and see what kind of compromise you can come to. Just don't sacrifice the things you really need just to make him comfortable. Secondly, it might be very worth the cost to hire a babysitter so that you can have more time for you. I completely understand wanting to be the ones to look after your kids, but remember that you need certain things so that you can be the best mommy you can be. Don't sacrifice quality of time for quantity of time. Do you have any relatives that can watch them for a few hours a week while you go to your meetings? My boyfriend is pretty supportive in some respects. He has always pretty much had the attitude that whatever I want to do is fine with him as long as it doesn't infringe on his needs too much. We have a young child too, and we have been through those same issues about wanting to be the ones to watch him. But we have close family that has thankfully been willing to watch him when it's absolutely necessary. My boyfriend is also starting up a new business with his dad, and his time is pretty much limited, but he understands that these appointments are non-negotiable for me and we always find a way to work it out. I hope you can find some solutions that work for you, and I wish you luck and will pray for you.

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

I sometimes get skin burning, but that's from my fibromyalgia. Are you having them at the same time, or seperately? Do you have any other symptoms? Do you get redness or itching with the burning sensations?

Honestly, for me the biggest fear is that it won't work. I have failed so many times before, it's like I'm conditioned to expect failure. But I am refusing to let myself dwell on that. I've been slogging my way through my emotional food issues in hopes that it will help me succeed once I am banded. Plus I have been "speaking success" over this - telling myself and anyone who will listen about how positive this process is and how great it will be to lose the weight and keep it off. I am giving my fear over to the Lord, meditating on my success and allowing Him to provide it for me. Kind of like "let go let God" I guess. Getting stuck does sound scary, but I think it'll be easier to deal with once it actually happens. The first time, all you have to do is remember not to panic, and then if it happens again you will know what to expect and how to handle it. Great topic, by the way.

I agree, this time is a great chance to prepare for the changes you'll be encountering. I've got seven months doctor supervised diet left (out of nine ) and sometimes it feels like forever, but I've really started looking at it as a time to practice my eating habits, get my body moving, and get my head straightened out (well, as much as it can be, lol) before I have to do this for real. I'm working on finding high-Protein foods I like, testing out Protein shakes I can stand, and taking small bites that I chew like crazy. I know that sometimes it can be seen as a punishment, but I really don't think it is. I think it's designed to pre-screen people in a way, because if you are willing to go through all this waiting, you probably have the resolve it takes to be successful with the band. They want to make sure you don't just run out and get it done without taking the time to seriously consider what it will mean to live with the band. And even though it seems like forever now, you'll look back in a few years and realize how short a time it actually was. Just hang in there, you can do it!

I've heard that with any surgery it is natural to go into a depression afterwards. Doubly so if you have had bariatric surgery, I would imagine, because it involves such a major lifestyle change. Not to mention that anesthesia can cause you to feel down for several days too! I am pre-op still, but am keeping an eye out for depression after surgery, especially since I went into such a downward spiral after my gallbladder surgery last year. It amazes me that none of my doctors, not even my therapist, told me that this was normal! I had to read it in a WLS book. Hang in there, it will pass. If you're not feeling better in a month or so, talk to your doctor please. Sending you hugs and prayers <3