Matt Z

On 7/21/2019 at 12:21 PM, ace090 said:

Didn't know where to post this, but I smoke cannabis occasionally daily lol. What's peoples experience with this?

Sent from my SM-N960F using BariatricPal mobile app

SWIM used just the same pre and post op, and actually found some added comfort during post op from use. obvi the munchies were a concern, but, not an issue.

On 12/9/2020 at 11:50 AM, Dadof5 said:

Anybody here wear compression shirts? I’m looking into them for after I’m healed up and loosing weight. I’m on my pre-op diet and am already loosing my pants and my stomach is much softer/flabbier then at the beginning. So I know I am going to need something to keep this in check. What brands do you guys wear or what kind? I’ve seen some with additional support panels and then just the typical underarmor style. What would personally suggest from your experience?

I wear compression shirts daily now. I don't need them but they make me feel better with some of the extra skin I have in my midsection. I get them from Amazon, because something they don't tell you, they stretch out with use and washing so, you'll need to replace them every 6 months or so. Also, if you are still losing, don't spend a lot (like I did) on them, because the super expensive gear I bought, was too big within a few months.

I've got some sag in the front that I'd love to get removed, but sadly my insurance won't cover or assist since I have no medical issues with it, just body image and self esteem issues. It's not horrible but really does scare me to show new women in my life.

SWIM noted a mild stomach issue, be depends on what it was cut with. No difference pre or post surgery.
In fact SWIM noticed no difference in any nasally ingested compounds pre vs post.

Talk to your doc. It's not a muscle thing at all, it's a pressure and valve thing. I had some issues for a bit with the meds I was on, once I got off all of them, no issues.

Was just checking in and updating some of my photos, I'm 12 years out from my first surgery and 4 years out from my revision.

Depends on how you heal, but 10 days after I was on the elliptical machine for like 10 - 30 mins a time, several times a day.

First and foremost you need to tell him Everything you need and want to, doesn't matter if he wants to hear it or not, you NEED to tell him how you feel, stick with I statements. I feel this way when this. I feel this way when that. Keep them pointed at you, so he doesn't feel attacked and shut down before you can even get started.

Do not be afraid to tell him that he's going to end up pushing you away.

You said he's overweight too, odds are he's jealous of your progress, how you are (I'm sure) feeling MUCH better, more energy, more attention from others. He's more than likely upset that he feels he's being left behind. But all of that is on him not you.
You are not and will never be responsible for anyone other than your own reactions. If he's upset, that's for him to figure out why, is he upset that you are losing weight? If so... that's not your problem or fault or responsibility to fix for him.

My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years now.
I've known my wife was bi for 23+ years.
It wasn't until a good 5 years into our marriage that she finally "saw" it as well.
I got fat... almost 400 ish (sitting at 190ish now)
I knew that I wasn't providing her the things she needed to feel "complete" or "fulfilled" sexually.
I handled the Male side of things ok, but I got a lot of "not now, I don't feel good" etc, I constantly felt like I was being pushed away. When we started opening our relationship up, we talked.... a lot. Who wanted what, why, what were the rules, boundaries, etc. We had long, very embarrassing discussions. But in the end, we both knew where we were and what was needed to keep each of us "happy" together.
The idea wasn't to replace, it was to fill in.
I could never be a woman, even with things being hidden by fat and having breasts... I'm not woman and never will be, so, in my mind, how can I be mad at her for wanting what I can't provide. So rules in hand we started to go out and meet people, together.
I pushed her to go dance and be playful and to have fun. At first she was afraid I would be left out, and I knew I would be. And I was. But she had her time, I got some time too with a few but for the most part, it was all for her.

Then I lost the weight.
The wife was never really THAT big, she did hit 170-190 ish at one point, but that was because the whole house was eating like crap.
I lost weight and so did she.
We started working out together.
We started getting more attention from others as well.

My big issue is that, she reacts to me the way I would react when I was big. I was unhappy with myself, super self conscious, hated myself and lashed out a lot. She was reacting to the old me, not the new me. That spun some new deep convos, one we still work on.

We met our current girlfriend back in October. At first she was really into the wife, but also interested in me, but as she was more gay than bi, it was the wife she was found of, but that slowly changed, our GF had some issues with past trauma from other GFs, so I because this shelter, and the roles that my wife and I dealth with for years, reversed. Now she's the one that feels left out or pushed aside, not that she is, just that, that's how she feels. So more and more long awkward open convos and things are so much better.

I think the take away is, open up and talk. Drop your most uncomfortable information right in his lap and let him deal with it.
Most men were brought up not to express ANY emotion or weakness. I've worked hard to push past that, I know that if I"m upset, I'm allowed to be upset. I cry, I get emotional, I get sad and pissed. I get needy and want to feel loved or want to feel desired. I know that a lot of my control issues come from lack of control and other things from my past, but, the 3 of us talk often. We sit down and discuss things. We have gotten to the point where one of us can request "private time" with the other and no one gets upset about it.

It's been very VERY hard. All the body issues I face, control issues I face, jealousy, envy, etc.
All gets sorted when talk.
Not to say that you'll talk and it'll end up great for the 2 of you, but as some have pointed out above, sometimes we change and no longer fit with our spouse. And there really isn't anything wrong with that. Humans grown, change and evolve. You've made a drastic evolution. Why is he upset? Only he knows for sure.

Good luck and congrats on the loss! You look like you feel MUCH better!

7 hours ago, alex76 said:

Can you explain what you mean by this?

It seems that when I workout consistently, I gain some weight. There have been weeks when I don't exercise, and I drop weight. This is very frustrating. I would love your insight. Thanks.

I recently hit my lowest weight of 174 lbs, but I'm slowing creeping up to 180 lbs despite tracking food and working out daily.

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

As stated above, square inch for square inch Muscle weighs more than fat. So as you reduce fat stores and increase muscle mass, you can see weight gains. That's why I've pushed so hard for people to stop tracking weight as a specific number and start looking at the trend. I've tracked weight and body fat my whole process, not really caring about the numbers exactly, but what I was doing and which direction those numbers moved. The more I work out for muscle, my body fat drops and my weight gains. When I focus on cardio, my weight drops, sometimes body fat does as well, but not as fast as when working out for muscle gain. This is because larger muscle mass requires more energy in rest than smaller muscles do, so, bigger muscle mass, larger fuel requirements, faster fat breakdown.

Plus,our bodies get used to what's going on and start to level off. Check into Intermittent Fasting if you haven't yet, really get me through some serious stalls.

On 3/6/2020 at 11:36 PM, Hop_Scotch said:

It will be a good weight though - lean body mass. Don't get caught up in scale weight once you start weight training. If you can have a dexa scan to find out your body composition - lean body mass vs body fat percentage.

This is very important. I'm starting to creep up on 200 again, but I've been working out so my body fat is dropping while the weight might increase.

I'm in a similar boat, started the whole ordeal at around 400 lbs. I've been floating right around 190 for the last year or so now. I never thought I'd see 250 again, let alone be sub 200!!

Congrats!

1 hour ago, Chas74 said:

I'm a little over 3 weeks post op and lately I have been depressed and VERY GROUCHY. I have ZERO energy and all I want to do is sleep. I know it has to be a phase but I sure HOPE it gets over SOON. People that are not going through this don't understand at all. I actually had somebody at work ask me "why are you being such a B*tch lately". She KNOWS that I had surgery. Anyways, I've lost 34 pounds so I'm proud of that. I just needed to vent. Has anybody else experienced this??

Big tip, Stop worrying about weight loss right now. Focus on your intakes. The rest will fall into line. It sucks, but it's worth it... so worth it. Get those habits instilled now. That said, this is normal. It will pass, just work on your Water and whatever, this will pass.

You'll want to hold off for a year or so, to make sure you've got your weight stable and have all the good habits set in. You'll be able to drink again at some point. But it's going to be different. For me, I cannot drink harder liquors now, I get way too drunk, way too quick and end up not being pleasant at all. Beer, I can put down like 1 an hour or so but have to watch because they do creep up on me.

3 hours ago, philflynn2015@gmail.com said:

Hi can u chat

Chat room hasn't existed in years... fyi.

39 minutes ago, Lesa B said:

What prompted most people to do the revision surgery?

The band didn't perform up to advertised / reported specs. Ended up with some minor issues and struggled to keep the weight off. Revised to Bypass, dropped the rest of my weight and have kept it off for over a year now. Coming up on 2 years post revision in March.

Just now, ms.sss said:

I loooooooooove reading the "I feel pretty damn good" posts. Gives me all the feels. ❤️

You look fabulous.

Let me rephrase. I feel down right Fantastic overall.
Stairs... not even a second thought.
Walking, hiking, hell... running. No concerns.
Buying clothes that fit in a "normal" store in the "normal" section without having to pay XX fees... I almost cried the first time.
My wife and I are enjoying my new found energy, we go out dancing all the time now.

I just feel so much better than I did when I was heavy. SO.MUCH.BETTER!!!!

15 hours ago, 3cleos said:

My doctor has suggested removing my band and doing the RNY bypass. Does anyone know if they can be done at the same time? I'm unsure I want to go under twice for the same thing. I'm super freaked about losing my band, but I understand it isn't working the way it used to. It's a part of me and I'm scared I'll miss it.

Sent from my SM-G975U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

I had my removal and update to Bypass done at the same time. I'm so glad I revised!

Check into Intermittent Fasting. It's broken me through so many stalls. When I hit my hard stall at 230, I thought I was done for sure. I'm sitting between 180 and 190 now.

9 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Good Lord! It's Mr. GC himself! You are gorgeous Matt! Do you feel it now?!!!

Better photo to highlight the losses, since you can see my side view better.

I feel pretty damn good. Migraine and anxiety disorders causing a feedback loop that triggers each other, but that's another story. I can do so much now it's amazing. I just love going out and doing stuff. I don't mind when people look at me, I don't instantly think they are all "omg that fat guy is gross". I've gotten lots of looks and smiles now. I feel like I did when I was 18-20... less the back pain LOL

Close to 400 in the first, 180 in the second.

13 hours ago, KarenLR75 said:

@FluffyChix & @Orchids&Dragons

I was going to try to dive into the IF fasting thread and made it as far as detailing out your (Fluffy's) Down Days, up days and I think um..medium days.

While I don't mind doing research, I was wondering if along the journey with IF which spans many many pages, did you change over to something other than what you started your IF journey with?

I see ppl post 16:8 - is that 16 hrs of not eating followed by 8? I did try to follow some of that & am HIGHLY HIGHLY interested in research and cold hard facts about extending telomeres (sp?)..I think they are called (re: aging). So specifically looking for something targeted to getting physical age when measured by a physician to improve over my true bio age...does that make sense.

ABOVE ALL OF THIS THOUGH, I know I have a very metabolically resistant body. Part is going into early menopause in 40's...a crap diet for over 15 years...inflammation issues with messed up knee. IBS issues since a kid (keto helped me out with this a lot). Starting to have ovarian pain so am worried about cysts...you know the deal. Was diagnosed with malignant melanoma last year, early stage, but I know melanoma is a tricky...very very tricky and insidious cancer sneak. I feel like my body is screaming out for help and I want to do what I can, even at this age...to finally...care for it. See if I can reign in or stop progression of some things

Of course, one of the top pty's is continuing to lose as much weight as possible during this our honeymoon period as I call it

Serious @FluffyChix I would even consider paying you for a session just to help me get a quicker grasp on things. Weight Watchers started that recently with 'coaches' you could hire and schedule time with. Think about it perhaps?

I try to IF between 6 pm and 8 am. IF was the key to the success I've had, I got "stuck" at 230... IF got me through that and down to my current of around 180. It's great because it's free, and it works.

So, I've had a recent "interaction" with a friend of my wife and I's. I was pretty up front with my skin... and it wasn't an issue at all. By the time you get to the "gear down" portion of the evening, your play date has already felt your skin, through clothing or not... they know what they are dealing with, at least to some extent. And yes... men regain length as the Panniculus fat shrinks.

So, I still hate the way I look naked. But, I try not to let it bother me too much and stop focusing on what I look like and start focusing on what your play date looks like, etc. Keep your focus on them and ignore yourself. It'll be ok.

2 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Haha. Not quite. "Jabooty" is still with me, but one day, may she rest in peace! I ran my third 5K this morning. I feel strong-ish. Do you?!

I still can't really run much, but that's like a life time thing, born flat footed so running sucks anyway. Strong, I actually feel weaker. Because I used my weight as an advantage with doing things like moving or lifting stuff. Now, I've lost all that weight backing me up so it's a little odd. I actually had people pick me up, including a small female... that was a trip, getting picked up by such a tiny person blew my mind.

2 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

@Matt Z You look great! Sorry about your difficulties. Sending good vibes your way.

Thank you! I've been taking everything in stride. The mindfulness stuff I learned in therapy has really changed my entire life and outlook on things. It's a daily struggle, but, it's one that has clear benefits! Only one thing at a time and only things I can actually control.

3 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Dooooo eeet! It will help you deal with the other BS. And taking time for yourself--well you know it's important hon. You'll figure it out! And ohhhhh the nekkidy body v. clothed body thing...sigh. It's real. Here I am today in my outfit I'm wearing out tonight. I'm 133.2lbs this morning. Look ok clothed...but nekkid? Holy hell, man. Dim the lights.

LOL look at you fading away!