Dear Sandy,
Was so interested to read at the end of your post that your husband was not supportive and didn't think you would go through with your surgery. My husband was also not supportive, but did accompany me to Mexico when I had it done. (Our insurance would not cover the cost, so I cashed in one of my retirement 401Ks to cover the cost.) Since my surgery, Bill and I have had increasing problems. We are both working hard to try and work them out, but some days it seems to me that I too married the wrong man. However after 42 years of marriage, I am not ready to let go of what we have! And I have to say, I love him so much more today that the day we married! I always tell him "I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow"!
I too get frustrated and sometimes "Blow up" at him. Then a couple of weeks ago, in the midst of one of our fights, Bill told me he was thinking of suicide! REALLY scared me badly! I thought we were making progress, and then wasn't sure we had changed the situation at all.
Currently we are talking with our family physician about it, and Bill is considering going on an antidepressant. I really feel that since I have lost 100 pounds, he feels threatened, that I might want out of our marriage. He is also about 100 pounds overweight, and I think he feels that I want someone who is slim and trim now. (So NOT the case! But how we feel doesn't always make sense or follow logic!)
I wish I had some "wise words" for you. But all I can say is that I will remember you both in my prayers everyday!
I have to say, that in spite of all the fights, problems, words, etc that we have had since my surgery, it is still THE BEST thing I ever did for myself and my health! I wouldn't go back to weighing 258 pounds for anything!!!
Thinking of you and sending you all my best!!!
Kathy D (alias Helen the Cat)
