LivingFree!

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

I just joined a 6 week body transformation - it is a food program plus high intensity workouts. It's a different approach, and I am only a week into it, so I am not sure I can recommend it yet. Bottom line, a lot more food - the idea is to prevent the hunger/binge on the wrong food cycle. It is heavy on very lean Protein, green veggies, healthy carbs (small portions) and small amount of healthy fats. No cheese, no wine - ha. For 6 weeks it is an abstinence approach to sugar, alcohol and most fats. Anyway, I had to have them cut my portions because it was too much food, but I have stuck with it beautifully, because it is very satiating. I know that is way different approach that many of us have taken in the past.
Week 1 I lost 4 pounds with zero hunger, but my bodyfat % did not change which was a little disappointing, but lets give it more time.... I will keep you posted.

It's really hard. I have no willpower if I see someone else eating sweets. I just end up binging on something later if I don't have some of what my friend or eating partner is having at the time.
I just need to have a few carb free days then I know it will get way easier but I can't seem to make that.

Maintenance is way harder!! In the beginning, if I gained something, all I had to do was eat the right way and it came off. Now, if I eat wrong, I gain about 3 lbs and no matter what I do such as Protein Shakes all day, with a high Protein small dinner and the scale doesn't move . It sure moves up if I eat wrong though.
I am 8 years post sleeve. I am considering doing a complete fast.
Oh and the other vets are on Lipstick Lady's page on OH

@CowgirlJane
EEEEEK,
do my eyes deceive me? is that really you?
hey sleeve twin - 6 years for me on December 15th.
your sleeve is 4 days older than mine, new is better!!! LOL
age before beauty LOL (kidding bud) There are some VETS
@Julie norton (10 years LB) that are still here, hangin'
around, they/me are like a bad penny, or the energizer
bunny.!!(like me)!!! We keep on going and going and going etc. -
they can't get rid of me - lord knows some have tried being
sleeved was and will continue to always be a bigggg part of my life!!
(i would never have met you if i weren't sleeved).
many times i see OP reach out for help from OP that are older than
have more experience -, not necessarily a VET. as you said, maintaining is
very hard. Do you have any restriction left? i really don't. i know
the sizes i should be eating, or on a rare occasion i will measure. for me
its a head game/mental attitude - My NUT told me llllllong time ago -
Eat til you are full, then stop 2 bites earlier!! LOL
come around more often - it is nice for OP to hear your words of
wisdom. Let's meet for drinks tomorrow - i'm buying - Water of
course - take care bud
kathy

My sleeve was Dec 2011; hit goal Feb 2013 after losing 150#. I was a pretty prolific poster, including sharing my plastics experience. There is alot of truth that people just move on - WLS itself isn't really that central to my life.
Another reason haven't posted here much lately because I concluded that newer people prefer advice from other newer people - advice/input from me simply isn't relevant and I am okay with that - it just isn't a good use of my time. It took me a while to figure that out - but it is the simple truth. Part 2 is that as much as i would like support from other vets (my experience is maintaining has been much harder 5+ years post op) I can't seem to really find that here. I have always disliked OH, maybe that is where many "vets" have moved to, but i didn't.
So, it is unfortunate for me that there isn't an active Vets community anymore because this site was a big source of support for me a few years back. There are a lot of Facebook groups, but I guess I prefer the forum format.

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

We're releasing a line of Mantra Band jewelry and looking for good inspirational phrases for someone that's undergone WLS. Please share if you have one that's carried you through your weight loss journey.

What great support from BariatricPal members...
Please FIRST find your strength to let go of SHAME and guilt. You will be "practicing" your new WLS life over and over again, especially for your first year. And even after that--all that practice WILL NOT make perfect!!! Be kind and gentle to yourself. Learning new life-long eating and behavioral habits is a step-by-step process.
What helped for me was to write out a visual plan of the things/foods I needed to change (For instance, Yes, I was a fast food thriver too. So I decided I could still have fast food, but only twice a month. Now, at 6 years post-op, I have no desire for fast food. I prefer to nourish my body with fresh, real non-processed food). As my poor eating habits and poor choices changed, my thinking also changed. Now I think of food as medicine for my body. I'm pretty picky about what kind of occasional "junk" I will eat!
So:
Self-love and self-respect plays a big part in WLS success. Pre-planning and preparing your food day (or week) keeps you committed to staying on track. Living in the "present" and not worrying about yesterday's or tomorrow's mistakes (cultivating mindfulness). WLS is so much more than just losing weight. Staying in touch with your bariatric team (MD, dietitian, therapist, exercise program) and in-person support groups all contribute to long-term success. Thinking this is easy and we can do this "alone" just does not prove true for many WLSers. There are great articles on BariatricPal in the magazine section written by many WLS professionals. For me, educating myself by reading WLS books and articles and signing up for e-newsletters by bariatric professionals made a huge impact on my confidence for long-term permanent weight maintenance.
You have taken a huge positive step in your life, and you will learn to manage what works for YOU.

Pre-surgery, ALL of my meals, every day, were fast food. McDonalds was up there in my top 3 favs! One of my 6 things that I committed to that I would stop "cold turkey" before my surgery was to eliminate all fast food. At my 2-1/2 year point (I'm now at 3 yrs), I began to allow myself a planned fast food meal up to 4 times a month, but only from Subway or El Pollo Loco. I often don't even eat it those 4 times in a month that I do allow myself.
I've had to be SUPER-STRICT with myself, though, from the very beginning of my WLS adventure, because I knew it would be too easy for me to fall back into my old habits. I am SO GLAD I was (and am) so hard on myself. It's still kinda strange to me that I do not miss all that fast food AT ALL. My blood pressure is totally normal since WLS, so I will never be willing to put that much sodium and fat back into my diet with fast food. I feel the same way about the carby junk food. If I allow it back into my life in the form of a cookie here, or a donut there, etc it is just too easy for me to start and then continue those bad habits again. I just don't trust myself to stay on the "straight and narrow" after not being able to do so for my whole life before WLS. Somehow, my crazy head has learned that eating healthy is what my body REALLY wants, and it doesn't care anymore that I don't feed it the fast food and junk. Go figure! I have found some great bari-friendly recipes that have become my substitutes for occasional snacky stuff so I never feel deprived.
Life is good for me without fast food--NEVER in a million years did I ever think I would say those words!!!

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

Now that you are in maintenance, you are now in the "rest of your life" stage. The beauty of all the hard work you have done to change your eating habits to a healthy new lifestyle is that you can now CHOOSE to have that occasional piece of banana cake or cheesecake with NO GUILT, NO LABELING OF CHEATING, NO BEATING YOURSELF UP. When you plan each day with good, whole, nutritious foods, there is room in your life now for a little "junk" (if you want it). Because you have done it right, these foods don't have power over you any more. YOU control THEM. That is what is so different than your life pre-surgery. I find that my desire for junk just isn't there nearly as much when I consider what my other choices are to give my body nutrition. Sure, I had to learn to play a lot of head games--still do. When I'm particularly tempted, but REALLY don't want the particular piece of temptation, I say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." For me, the more I've said it to myself over the past 4 years, the more I feel it has helped me to take that pause and really evaulate whether I want it.
You said you've been hungrier the past few days--eating those simple, processed carbs turns on the hunger hormones big time for many of us. The more you eat the more you want.
"Not wanting to gain an ounce" is not realistic or healthy thinking. I know you know that. Establishing a 5-pound bounce range is very realistic. Whether or not we have had bari surgery, our bodies naturally vary in weight week-to-week. IT IS VERY OK. You are still learning and practicing to achieve that TOTAL CONFIDENCE in yourself that you can weigh once a week for the rest of your life and maintain your 5-pound range. Living in fear over weight regain is no way to live.
Remember and Celebrate your awesome achievements. You don't have to "hate" maintenance. It doesn't have to be stressful. You are free, and that is such a gift that we sometimes lose sight of.

Hi Misha42000
As a six-year post-op who has remained consistently active with in-person support groups as well as on-line forums, my most important lesson has been to merely listen to (or read) others' words/responses. Period. REACTING zaps my precious energy that I choose to use for ME!
I also choose to believe that most post-ops genuinely try to share their experiences with pre-ops and new-ops to offer HELP, NOT to criticize, as I believe was the case here. I'm so sorry you feel you want to delete your post. I know BariatricPal has been a huge help to me for many years.
For me, it seems like yesterday when I had my surgery and it all seemed so overwhelming at first. Today, though, my life is so different, so free from junk food obsession. So free from using the word "cheating." No feeling of "guilt" associated with food. That is my wish for you, to not have to think of any food that way after surgery. It was hard work to permanently change eating habits in that first year post-op, but the feeling of power and control over my food now, I would not change for anything.
The pre-surgery liquid diet your surgeon has you on is HARD. As with all of the WLS journey for life, we will never achieve perfection. Striving for an A- or even a B+ or will work just fine! Good luck. There is so much good on your horizon...

Hi Misha42000
As a six-year post-op who has remained consistently active with in-person support groups as well as on-line forums, my most important lesson has been to merely listen to (or read) others' words/responses. Period. REACTING zaps my precious energy that I choose to use for ME!
I also choose to believe that most post-ops genuinely try to share their experiences with pre-ops and new-ops to offer HELP, NOT to criticize, as I believe was the case here. I'm so sorry you feel you want to delete your post. I know BariatricPal has been a huge help to me for many years.
For me, it seems like yesterday when I had my surgery and it all seemed so overwhelming at first. Today, though, my life is so different, so free from junk food obsession. So free from using the word "cheating." No feeling of "guilt" associated with food. That is my wish for you, to not have to think of any food that way after surgery. It was hard work to permanently change eating habits in that first year post-op, but the feeling of power and control over my food now, I would not change for anything.
The pre-surgery liquid diet your surgeon has you on is HARD. As with all of the WLS journey for life, we will never achieve perfection. Striving for an A- or even a B+ or will work just fine! Good luck. There is so much good on your horizon...

Hi Misha42000
As a six-year post-op who has remained consistently active with in-person support groups as well as on-line forums, my most important lesson has been to merely listen to (or read) others' words/responses. Period. REACTING zaps my precious energy that I choose to use for ME!
I also choose to believe that most post-ops genuinely try to share their experiences with pre-ops and new-ops to offer HELP, NOT to criticize, as I believe was the case here. I'm so sorry you feel you want to delete your post. I know BariatricPal has been a huge help to me for many years.
For me, it seems like yesterday when I had my surgery and it all seemed so overwhelming at first. Today, though, my life is so different, so free from junk food obsession. So free from using the word "cheating." No feeling of "guilt" associated with food. That is my wish for you, to not have to think of any food that way after surgery. It was hard work to permanently change eating habits in that first year post-op, but the feeling of power and control over my food now, I would not change for anything.
The pre-surgery liquid diet your surgeon has you on is HARD. As with all of the WLS journey for life, we will never achieve perfection. Striving for an A- or even a B+ or will work just fine! Good luck. There is so much good on your horizon...

Hi Misha42000
As a six-year post-op who has remained consistently active with in-person support groups as well as on-line forums, my most important lesson has been to merely listen to (or read) others' words/responses. Period. REACTING zaps my precious energy that I choose to use for ME!
I also choose to believe that most post-ops genuinely try to share their experiences with pre-ops and new-ops to offer HELP, NOT to criticize, as I believe was the case here. I'm so sorry you feel you want to delete your post. I know BariatricPal has been a huge help to me for many years.
For me, it seems like yesterday when I had my surgery and it all seemed so overwhelming at first. Today, though, my life is so different, so free from junk food obsession. So free from using the word "cheating." No feeling of "guilt" associated with food. That is my wish for you, to not have to think of any food that way after surgery. It was hard work to permanently change eating habits in that first year post-op, but the feeling of power and control over my food now, I would not change for anything.
The pre-surgery liquid diet your surgeon has you on is HARD. As with all of the WLS journey for life, we will never achieve perfection. Striving for an A- or even a B+ or will work just fine! Good luck. There is so much good on your horizon...

whitters22,
Of course, at 9 days out, you are still healing physically (and mentally). Your food cravings/mourning you are experiencing are very normal. Try not to use too much of your energy overthinking it. Your best job to do for your mind and body right now is to heal well, doing your best to follow surgeon's instructions through the food stages recommended until you are back to eating regular foods. I'm sure you know this, but eating as close to whatever is recommended by your surgeon and drinking the recommended Protein Drinks and Water will also help keep those cravings and head hunger in check a little better.
Then when you have healed--
That was when I had to "reframe" my thinking a bit (about any food). It wasn't that I CAN'T have it. It became that I CHOOSE not to have it. When we say "can't have it" our brain says "don't deprive me." When we say "I choose not to," it tells our brain we are taking control of whether it goes in our mouth.
It is very real that we "mourn" the loss of our old familiar food and eating habits (for me it was a constant fast food regimen, tons of candy, baked goods, ice cream,cookies, chips, etc). That's why the first year post-op is so critical in forming those new habits that carry us through for life. I am still amazed, six years later, how addicted I was to all that junk food and how that hard work during that first year so paid off for me. The desire for that stuff just no longer exists. Everyone approaches their journey differently, but the important thing is to HAVE A PLAN. A real plan--not just something rumbling around in our heads, a written plan, with identified triggers to address, and plans of action to remedy unhealthy behaviors.
Could you be ready yet to embark on a new kind of healthier food mission? There are MANY bariatric-friendly foodsites that could help you really believe there IS good, tasty, healthy eating after WLS! You may already be aware-- but in case you are not--I will share my favorite because it is trusted and reputable. Michelle Vicari of Temecula, CA who is also a strong advocate for WLS patients and a Board Member of the Obesity Action Coalition, has a fantastic website/blog. She is 10-years post-op and has extensive information on her site, including ten years' worth of bari-friendly recipes. Go to www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com. Pinterest is another good source for bari recipes.
Wishing you WLS good health, fun, and excitement... And I'm wishing for you that you can ditch those words "food torture" TODAY!!!

Hi Misha42000
As a six-year post-op who has remained consistently active with in-person support groups as well as on-line forums, my most important lesson has been to merely listen to (or read) others' words/responses. Period. REACTING zaps my precious energy that I choose to use for ME!
I also choose to believe that most post-ops genuinely try to share their experiences with pre-ops and new-ops to offer HELP, NOT to criticize, as I believe was the case here. I'm so sorry you feel you want to delete your post. I know BariatricPal has been a huge help to me for many years.
For me, it seems like yesterday when I had my surgery and it all seemed so overwhelming at first. Today, though, my life is so different, so free from junk food obsession. So free from using the word "cheating." No feeling of "guilt" associated with food. That is my wish for you, to not have to think of any food that way after surgery. It was hard work to permanently change eating habits in that first year post-op, but the feeling of power and control over my food now, I would not change for anything.
The pre-surgery liquid diet your surgeon has you on is HARD. As with all of the WLS journey for life, we will never achieve perfection. Striving for an A- or even a B+ or will work just fine! Good luck. There is so much good on your horizon...

Hi Misha42000
As a six-year post-op who has remained consistently active with in-person support groups as well as on-line forums, my most important lesson has been to merely listen to (or read) others' words/responses. Period. REACTING zaps my precious energy that I choose to use for ME!
I also choose to believe that most post-ops genuinely try to share their experiences with pre-ops and new-ops to offer HELP, NOT to criticize, as I believe was the case here. I'm so sorry you feel you want to delete your post. I know BariatricPal has been a huge help to me for many years.
For me, it seems like yesterday when I had my surgery and it all seemed so overwhelming at first. Today, though, my life is so different, so free from junk food obsession. So free from using the word "cheating." No feeling of "guilt" associated with food. That is my wish for you, to not have to think of any food that way after surgery. It was hard work to permanently change eating habits in that first year post-op, but the feeling of power and control over my food now, I would not change for anything.
The pre-surgery liquid diet your surgeon has you on is HARD. As with all of the WLS journey for life, we will never achieve perfection. Striving for an A- or even a B+ or will work just fine! Good luck. There is so much good on your horizon...

She wasn't asking a question with a question she was simply stating that there is a lot more to your question that maybe you might want to rethink, I mean why go through all this if we can't maintain and control our diets. Maybe you should get some help from some of the many support groups. She had some good points and you shouldn't take people's advise so critically we are just trying to help each other out on this website we have enough people putting us down because we're overweight, let alone we hit on each other.

Sent from my N9519 using BariatricPal mobile app

What is it you are really asking here? Because you know the answer to the question you asked is yes, of course someone has cheated on their pre op diet.

Are you asking for a show of hands for solidarity? Are you asking what the ramifications were for those who did? Are you asking for people who did and still succeeded to share so you can feel confident in case you do the same? Did you go off the wagon and scare yourself and want reassurance?

There's a lot behind this question and I'm not asking for an answer but you might want to do some self reflection.

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.

I wonder how many of us get triggered when we read someone's post that says they feel SHAME about gaining weight? That's what so many of us do--beat ourselves up. We have to find that strength to CHALLENGE ourselves to stop the shaming and be okay with giving ourselves a little more love. Our self-talk plays an important role in WLS--if you "feel like a failure" it's much easier for your brain to say you ARE a failure. It is SOOO okay to not be perfect at this! First and foremost, try to focus on your AMAZING accomplishment. Then, if you accept this tiny setback with excitement and determination and NOT FEAR, you can have fun with regaining the control that you know you can achieve. (Are you keeping this all in perspective--this IS a tiny setback in your 2 year WLS big picture, right?)
Changing our relationship with food for the rest of our lives is soooo complicated, right? But NOT impossible!
For me, it started before my surgery with the commitment that I MUST choose to totally let go of all my old, familiar, comfortable unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle that went with that, and be willing to open my mind to new ideas and learn how to eati whole, unprocessed quality foods. To start that process, I had to actually take pen and paper and write down, in much detail, the actual foods that I KNEW very much contributed every day to my obesity (we all know what they are, if we are totally honest with ourselves, but often that is HARD to admit). Until I learned my new eating habits and was totally confident with myself in them (for me that took 18 months), I elimated those identified foods from my life. I never felt "deprived" because I worked hard to find substitutes for them that were WLS-friendly (not store-bought processed foods, but home-made).
Another big impact for me was a head game that I began playing with myself, that still works for me today (at 4 years out). When I see (or smell) something that triggers a strong temptation, I simply say to myself, "I don't eat that anymore." (or variations like "I CHOOSE healthy foods now," etc). It sounds silly, but there is science that backs up that this repetition to the subconscious mind can be effective.
Lastly, I educated myself in anatomy and physiology (actually, I went back to college and achieved my degree in nutrition) to better ensure my WLS success. No, I'm not suggesting that nutrition degree=success, BY ANY MEANS! What I am suggesting is that I think generally it helps if we truly educate ourselves to understand and respect the miracle that our bodies are. We owe it to our bodies to CHOOSE to feed them the whole, natural, unprocessed foods that our body systems were meant to process and digest to keep us healthy. food is meant to be fuel and medicine for the body. Oh so sadly, donuts, chili cheese fries, and Cheetos don't make the cut. Sigh...
It has been (and continues to be) hard, hard work. I think almost everyone says that. But I feel at wonderful peace now that I have firmly changed my relationship with food. It's still hard to believe because it's been such a dysfunction my whole life. How do I define this change?
1) I control my food. It does not control me. I CHOOSE my power. Can't is not in my vocabulary.
2) I don't have to be interested in the latest "diet" that comes out ever again. There is no such thing as being on a
diet anymore.
3) Junk food does not live in my house. But, if I am out and want, for instance, an ice cream cone, or dessert at a
restaurant, or a "somewhat healthy" fast-food meal (that would not include french fries!), I never have to think of any
of these things in the term of
CHEATING or GUILT. These are OCCASIONAL indulgences (once or twice a month). It feels so liberating to
never again berate myself by self-labeling as a cheater or being guilt-ridden over FOOD!
4) I never again have to play the "I'll exercise off" the 1/2 gallon of ice cream I ate yesterday game by doing crazy
"dieting and exercising" the next day. Now I simply maintain my weight with 1/2 hour of consistent exercise every day.
Period.
5) The bathroom scale does not define my day or my mood or my life. There's no weighing every day to see what the
constant poor eating choices do to the number on the scale.
Most/many people's weights vary naturally within a 5-pound range week-to-week. So all I have to do is joyfully visit
my scale once a week to see that I am in my 5-pound range.
Also, just wanted to share--
There are several great self-help books/websites on changing relationship with food/mindful eating. Many have been mentioned here on BP. Here's a couple of my favorites:
>Book: 50 way to soothe yourself without food by Susan Albers, PsyD
Dr Albers is a licensed clinical psychologist; easy reading; short chapters; www.sootheyourselfwithoutfood.com
>Website/Newsletter: AmIHungry.com
by Michelle May, MD She addresses mindful eating, binge eating, etc.
>Book: Women, Food, & God by Geneen Roth Website: geneenroth.com
Well-respected author in the weight-loss field. Has written many books. Her works elicit deep soul-searching. Has online newsletter and periodically conducts free online webinars.