twoboysandagirl

I am a year and some change out from surgery, I have lost half of myself and I feel the same way.
I have been on and off depression meds all my life. But, I can honestly say- I feel better in so many ways. I do about me. Not about my relationships with other people including my parents and husband.
Something I noticed about with me is the co-dependent, one sided relationships that I never recieved any type of love or care from. So, I ate my feeling away and put up with the sadness, anger and frustration that it brought. But now- I am forced to face and deal with all those emotions. I chose to see a therepist and find out why I got to almost 400 pounds and how to fix not getting there ever again.
Long story cut way short- getting help was what cleared the air for me. I made really hard choices for myself and the toxic relationships in my life.
I no longer speak to my parents (my choice I made for myself, to get out of the long history of abuse I recived from them daily) and it's not for everyone, and not everyone agrees. But I made this for ME. And I am doing a so much better because of it.
I have spoken with my husband about my feelings of emptiness and boredom in our marriage. I have found that by me expressing myself to him (not that it was well recieved at first) it has made our relationship slowly on the upswing. he has opened up too. Couples counciling has also helped a lot. He also sees someone to help him with his anger and resentment he has towards me for all the years I fell at the wayside.
Change- is hard on everyone. But you have to sit and decide for yourself- what should YOU do for You. And don't rely on anyone for 100% of your happiness. That is to much to put on someone and you will always let yourself down. You must look inside and figure out whats best for you.
Hang in there- we all in this together.
And just like 2BonederfulAgain said: Do all you can to save yourself. (**and if it's truly important to you** my two cents) Save your relationship.

I appreciate your comments twoboysandagirl. I agree with you. That's why I'm trying everything I can to be happy. Thank you for saying its normal to fall out of like with our spouses. I actually makes me feel more normal. And I definitely don't want to throw in the towel. We work really hard to make it a good marriage. Its just not that exciting. But then....is it always supposed to be? probably not.
I think we rushed into getting married too. Got engaged when we were both still infautated with each other and then by the time the wedding came around, I think neither of us wanted to conceed that we rushed into it. But we are compatiable and I do love him.
Oh and regarding my job....(and I know this will sound like a jab) but I do make more than him. Not a ton more, but enough, and am more advanced in my career, with a higher degree.

Ashley,
Your doing great! Those are great NSVs!

This may not be a popular reply but that is ok...In my opinion, in society today people throw away marriages any time they want. There is this thought that if you are unhappy it must be because of your spouse and you should maybe try a few things but if that doesnt work its ok to get a divorce. I am so frustrated with the throw away marriages in our culture. Marriage takes gobbs of work. Constantly. You will fall out of like with your spouse and it will be up to you to change that. If you think you will find that perfect person who will please you and excite you 100% of the time you are crazy...they dont exist. And one reason is because you change too. I pray you do whatever it takes to fight for your marriage and that you and your husband work together to make it a happy life for both of you!
I just wanted to encourage you that you can get through this and come out on the other side with a better marriage!

What kind of clothes get you through? Baggy ones:)
I started at size 20. I bought a few capris at size 16. Then a couple of skirts and shirts at 14. Then I spent about $100 at size 10 because I thought I would be there for a while but I was blessed with shorts and shirts at size 8 and 6 from a friend. Then settled at size 4 and have bought only what I can find on sale and still wear 6's that were given to me. I tried on clothes constantly but just didnt buy. I am a stay at home mom bu t I do have to be dressed up for church every Tuesday and Sunday. I just didnt sweat how I looked knowing that it was only temporary and then when I hit goal I would get to buy nice clothes a lot cheaper!
I tried shopping at good will and thrift stores but I dont live in a big city so the selection wasnt there. I definatly recommend this if you live in a city.

Yippie that is awesome!!!

Most of us are scared before surgery - this is an optional surgery. Remember, human kind is afraid of what we do not know about. Some people are scared before learning to swim others were scared of transplant surgery. People are ignorant and it sounds like your doctor does not have all the facts. This does not make him a bad doctor but to threaten dropping you because you are pursuing something to make you healthier? Is that good medicine and in your best interest? No, he is not up to date on his information to advise you properly.
I only had a 33+ BMI so insurance would not cover me. I was a healthy fat person considered obese, just not morbidly obese. Every physical for years my doc would suggest losing 75+ pounds. Wow, but surgery wasn’t an option to me without a weight gain of 25+ pounds – which is crazy. Knew what my future was...more weight, less activity, lower self esteem, inability to do the things I wanted to do physically, shop freely in normal size stores and so much more.
Can I suggest you make a pro and con list? What happens if you do have surgery? What benefits do you get? Do research; ask others why they are doing this. Ask a person who has VSG for a while...are they still happy? (YES I AM) Now the cons - what happens if you don't have surgery? What is your future health going to be like? (take a look at your family who are overweight)
This is not a decision to make lightly since VSG is non reversible. Move forward with confidence.
Hugs to you!!!

I would sit down with him and read through this site...have him go with you to see your dr. I'm willing to bet (not knowing him-but hearing others posts about this same thing) his concerns have more to do with fear of things going wrong, or changes in you, or even what foods he will have to give up). Ask him to be honest with you about all the things he is thinking. Just keep talking about it!

I am 5'3" and my high weight was 226.5. I lost over 100 pounds and feel GREAT!

I am 5'3" and my high weight was 226.5. I lost over 100 pounds and feel GREAT!

I am 5'3" and my high weight was 226.5. I lost over 100 pounds and feel GREAT!

I was just about to have an RNY surgery from a civilian provider when I found out that he was a bit crooked he was asking for $6500 up front that he claimed insurance would not cover. I called tricare and they told me to absolutly NOT pay it and they suggest another provider. That surgeon wouldnt even see me the receptionist said I would have to gain 50 pounds to qualify for Tricare to pay for surgery. Anyway...I went back to my pcm and she suggested I go to the nearest MTF that did the surgery. She reminded me there would be NO out of pocket expenses. I have to drive the 3 hours for all my appointments and of course the surgery but I think the entire experience of the MTF was OUTSTANDING. If you can travel to a MTF then you will not need to deal with Tricare. I do get tricare to cover my gas and mileage when I go for follow ups and all the pre op appointments. I will also like to add that they may have a LOT of hoops for you to jump through. And it may take some time to get the actually surgery date but I was ok with that.
Good Luck to you not matter what route you take.

I just wanted to tell you I am sure you are not alone...but you are the only one who posted about their 8 week stall. It is hard to admit all those emotions and feeling you had. I also know that your post will help someone behind you going through the same thing. Hang in there and heres to a big loss this week!

I just wanted to pop in and say that Mini Mee and Dee are awesome! Thank you for all your honesty!

God is good!

Welcome to the losers bench!!

Prayin' the stall is over for you! Thanks for sharing! Believe it or not, it helps everyone on here. Great perseverance!

I just hit 16 months post op. I cant say enough about how this surgery was a godsent and I have completly changed the way I live, cook, shop, eat, sleep, sit, walk,run, stand, get up in the morning, go to bed at night, make friends, ok...you get the point. It has changed almost everything about me...BUT ALL FOR GOOD! I am completly happy with all that has happened to me in the last 16 months because of this surgery. Most of all, I am sure that I have avoided a short life battling with heart disease, diabetes, PCOS, bad knees, bad feet, bad hips, and obesity. I would also encourage you to continue to read as many posts as you can here. Read success stories. Read complications. Read rants. Read failures. Then make a list of reasons why you shouldnt and why you should have the surgery. My doctor had us write out all the diets we have been on and the success of them. When I looked over it I knew that diets wouldnt work and I need medical intervention. Good luck in your journey to good health!

Any religious sleevers out there done the Beth Moore Esther study? I am on week 2 and in the lesson today she quoted a women that took a poll for her...she said for women "sometimes there is nothing that make you happier than seeing a close friend gain a couple pounds". Got me thinking...I dont ever want to think that way about other people....I wonder how many people feel that way about me?
What do you think? Do we (especially women) feel that way about others? I want to be happy for others who work hard at taking good care of themelves in an effort to be healthy. But am I disgracefully feel a little good when I lose more than someone else or make a goal first. Gotta work on that right....we are all headed in the same direction.
Just some thoughts...wondering if I am alone.

In 2006, after 3 years of infertility I lost a baby. When I went to an OB he told me that the best treatment for my infertility was weight loss. I had heard this before but tried everything. My PCOS was getting worse and I feared I would never have another child. He listened and believed my attempts (which was a first) he prescribed a diet drug. It worked. I lost 30 pounds in 6 months and landed in the hospital with colitis. When the gastroenterologist told me I would never be able to go on another diet drug, I asked him what do I do about weight loss he said that I should have weight loss surgery. I wasn’t ready to hear it then. I had two children one in 2007 and one in 2009…then I was ready! I was at my all time heaviest at 226.5 (although I think I might have been a little higher just refused to weigh). My neighbor had just had rny. I thought that is the route I would go but after God closed the door to the first and second surgeon I saw my surgeon who recommend the sleeve. I researched and researched and decided that this was the surgery for me. No looking back NOT once…

In 2006, after 3 years of infertility I lost a baby. When I went to an OB he told me that the best treatment for my infertility was weight loss. I had heard this before but tried everything. My PCOS was getting worse and I feared I would never have another child. He listened and believed my attempts (which was a first) he prescribed a diet drug. It worked. I lost 30 pounds in 6 months and landed in the hospital with colitis. When the gastroenterologist told me I would never be able to go on another diet drug, I asked him what do I do about weight loss he said that I should have weight loss surgery. I wasn’t ready to hear it then. I had two children one in 2007 and one in 2009…then I was ready! I was at my all time heaviest at 226.5 (although I think I might have been a little higher just refused to weigh). My neighbor had just had rny. I thought that is the route I would go but after God closed the door to the first and second surgeon I saw my surgeon who recommend the sleeve. I researched and researched and decided that this was the surgery for me. No looking back NOT once…

SMH!!!! Announcement... I will NOT be READING, COMMENTING or ANYTHING on this thread... LOL...
Signed,
Single Sister who needs a COLD shower!! LOL

It's okay to post when ur down..
That's why this support group exists!!! I know I'm not 'on' and positive all the time!! But, that's okay... one day at a time!!
Sorry about your parents' transition and your siblings.... I'm glad you have ur 2 guys supporting you!! I'm praying that each day get better for you!!!

three words....frozen turkey meatballs...
they take minutes in the microwave...jarred sauce and a sprinkle of parm cheese...yummy
They have gotten me through lots of low Protein days!

I don't think I have ever had dumping although I have had some ill effects from deep fried food early out. Sugars usually trigger dumping in VSG and even at that it is very rare. Dumping can occor in anyone WLS or not. I have always used half and half in my coffee, one of the things I always allowed myself even when I was in the "losing" stages. At this point in time, you will be struggling to get in 600 calories a day so I wouldn't worry about it. Every nut and every Dr have their own opinions. I have come to find that most of them just cut and paste an RNY diet and don't even bother to look at the VSG diet as anything different. I was lucky, my team did and taylored my eating and drinking plan to the VSG and everything worked. Good luck and welcome to the losers bench!