coops

Hey,
I was told similar by my surgeon, but he followed that with, higher is possible as long as you continue to eat Protein first and include exercise... I am sorta hoping that I can lose most of it...!

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

Hi! Busy busy.... riding the bike, I dropped it today for the first time... in front of a butt load of bikers.... and managed to break off the tail light of a VERY nice and expensive Ducatti.... ouch! I got off with buying the guy and his friend beer.... I on the other hand was not hurt at all (except my pride) The helmet and all is working good so far! My bike was unharmed. I am not weighing, but I have to say pics of me in the armor look very fat (it is padded and has armor). yikes! Something has to chance soon. Just found out my dear dance teacher has cancer, will be getting chemo, surgery and healing for around a year. I may have to take over the class or better yet share with someone else part of the time.... I am so sad about it.... dear lady friend. She is the healthiest person I know.... fit, eats like a saint.... never speaks poorly of anyone....
Here is a pic of my bike and Craigs new bike on a ride we did friday....

He is 87 and so is she. Shes very nice! Met some of her kids at dinner, and they are cool too. Here they are in pirate costumes for a 1 year olds birthday party!

He got engaged?!??? How old is he? How incredibly lovely!!!!

OOOOps... did it wrong. the last pic should be the second pic... taken end of June last year!!

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

Cathy, happy for your brother.... always nice to see a happy ending.
I went and took my driving tests yesterday and passed, so went out for my first motorcycle ride on real roads. Managed not to crash. Had a blast! Craig and I hopped on the 650 and he took me to some country roads around 15 minutes from here where I was set free to practice. 40 miles per hours seemed like 60.... First day a success. Cheers all.... K

Florinda hope you get sorted soon, sounds like you are in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally.
Sheryl glad the removal went well and that you are healing. Do you have to wait a certain amount of time before they put a new implant in? Don't do too much physical work that might annoy your wound.
Back to work Monday after a 2 week break. The first week I caught up with some chores at home then had a beautiful weekend at the coast ( in Wales - I did shout Hi Coops as I passed by). This week I have devoted to my mum and clearing a couple of more rooms. 1 skip, a lot of paint and some new carpets the 2 bedrooms are now clean and tidy. My mum now lives alone as my brother (49) has found love, got engaged and moved in with her. I'm so pleased for him and she is a nice lady and is good for him. This brother has had a bit of a rough life he is number 6 in the family and was born 2 months after my dad died. He has had a difficult relationship with mum ( bonding might of not happened cos she was in grief). He was a naughty boy in his teens and got in trouble and came to the attention of the authorities. Much to mums shame. Anyway long term unemployed in early 20s but when eldest brother was ill he became his carer so mum was able to have him home and he cared for him until he had to go into a home where more intense care could be given. Anyway brother passed and then miraculously no 6 got his first proper job. He was been in continuous employment ever since. Continued to live at home cos it was easy but relationship with mum didn't improve. Anyway quite mundane existence til he met his soulmate about 6 months ago... Nice ending for him. I did however make him move his 49 years of detritus out of the house this week so I could clean the room!!
Hope everyone is well, Autumn here and the leaves are beautiful. Just off to see James Bond film with hubby - not my cup of tea but he came to see suffragettes with me last week so I have go and see one he wants to see.

Sheryl, glad that surgery went well, hope you get help with the pain.
Kim you write something such marvellous things which really resonate.
Me I'm on holiday for the weekend, at the beach with my dog and husband (not necessarily in that order). You will know it Coops we are at Lily Ponds at Bosherton. We love it here, tonight we were on South Beach in Tenby - dog thought she had died and gone to heaven. Too much wine and good company ...

When I came back from Afghanistan I was 159 lbs, the best I've achieved post-op, and only then did I almost begin to see the glimmer of a body that I could feel proud of and confident in, and even then I was angry at my overhanging bulgy pudenda.
I have that pain in my back still, I have a corresponding pain in the middle of my right side ribcage now, persistent. I have no appetite and feel constipated but don't think I am. I pretty much just drink coffee and eat a couple of bites of food when I get home, before collapsing in bed. Yesterday I drank several coffees, ate a small biscotto, and a few bites of salad.
Without love, life has no meaning or purpose.
I realize I am a slave to my chemistry, whatever enzymes or hormones or chemicals washing over my brain, there is no "true" emotion, it is all a result of the chemical cocktail bathing your brain atm. I am on an outstanding amount of Vitamin D, as well as B, as well as an anti-depressant, and I still feel totally hopeless and fatalistic.
---------------------------
Chemistry can be a Bi*ch. So hard to fight. Perspective can be such a game changer... and our perspective seems immutable, and constant in the long moment... but that is the illusion of Mara. Every moment is charged with the possibility of change... Good? Bad? are both fleeting.... a fly thinks sh*t is the best dinner EVER. The sh*t has not changed, only the perspective. There is opportunity every where. The world is full of women who weigh societies perfect weight and hate their lives. Where does happiness really lay? Its the holy grail. Perhaps you need a spiritual journey?

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

So, Friday I had a very good appointment with my counselor. I hadn't seen her in a long time but I had something very specific to bring up. I wanted a diagnosis. I am not depressed, I am not bipolar... but, something isn't quite right to my way of thinking. I won't bore you with the details, but I cannot get my mind around how I have the best day-to-day life I have EVER had and yet I sometimes feel so empty. That empty feeling is less and less frequent, but it rears up predictably after bad news (like a doc appointment that shakes me up) or some kind of disappointment. It might last only an hour, it might last a few days. It isn't depression, but it is a heartache. It can easily spin into anxiety. When I was obese, I was physically so miserable, I don't recall this - I suspect it was because I stuffed it away with food or maybe because I felt so low it wasn't as noticable.
Anyway, i wanted to know if I have a personality disorder. This kind of crap fits in with borderline personalities etc.
so, we had a long talk about it and she was very clear that I do not have borderline or other personality disorders but i have this underlying "abondonnment issues". It is due to my early childhood and some stuff that happened (I was raised by older sisters who moved out and left me and so I didn't really bond with my mom as a small child due to the size and chaos of my family).
We talked about alot of things I experience - including my friendships, my dating life, how i feel about casual aquaintances vs friends. She found ways to point it all back to that underlying fear of abandonment. Example, I am often bored/disinterested by people I meet. It is like, I don't feel all that interested in people unless I have a real connection or more likely, have known them a long time. Like at least a year. She told me to practice looking into that "bored" or disinterested feeling and probably behind it is my fear.anxiety of letting them get to close ... all related to this abandonment theme but I just don't recognize it.
So, it made a bunch of stuff make a bit of sense to me. Example, since being single, the only man I have felt anything resembling love/attachment toward is my old FWB Steven. Well, we have lots of chemistry, he is brilliant and a great conversationalist, I have known him a few years now... i can go on and on about "reasons" but you know what is really under it? i have lost my temper at him and he never rejects me. I realize that he is one of the few people in my life that I feel like I can be completely myself/honest and he will still love me because he knows my flaws and I know his and at a certain level we are both very accepting of them. Of course, that is a deadend/not a real relationship and I rarely even talk to him anymore, but my point it is it was very insightful to understand the feelings behind it.
I have two girlfriends i have this kind of depth and trust with and it took a long time to get there.
We talked about how I AM healing, I am getting better, I am moving forward and I have some new strategies to try since I don't like feeling this emptiness. I don't need to be happy all the time, but I really hate that bad lonely feeling. I left invigorated and feeling more hopeful about myself.
during the drive home, I realized something. I used to have a personal motto that was very negative and i don't think it anymore. I used to always say "Everybody leaves, even if they didn't mean to". I developed that motto after my sister died as it was such a huge loss to me. But it is deeper then losing her, I think i really did expect everyone to abondon me at some point.
It seems so odd because I am pretty self confident/not a clingy needy kind of person but this insight does explain how I felt so lonely at times.
I know some of us on this board have struggled with some low times/depression/etc. I am curious if any of you have found ways to peel back the onion a bit and find what is under it. I want to live the next decades of my life the very best I can. I wasted some quality of life on obesity and I sure don't want to waste my future contentment on this.

I'm back. It appears I just dropped out for a couple of weeks. I did go camping in Yosemite for 4 days, and again to an adventure motorcycle conference (camping again for 3 days) just over the hill from Yosemite valley in the home of the "Mother Lode", Mariposa. I got back 3 pounds heavier, at 199.8.... what a shock.... at least it wasn't 200! I got onto the 5 day sleeve test right away and have lost 5 pounds in 4 days... hope to keep up some better habits.... Hubby wants to lose 50 pounds... he is a newby weight losser.. and is glomming onto all the crappy weight loss plans like God is talking to him. He wants me to go along with them, but I really have to do it my way after trying so many diets in my life.
Sarah, so happy to hear the promising news about your dad....
I love hearing about the knees and the hips.... my knee is going off..... the cortisone shot is mostly worn off... I think I will try the lube shot next... and my dance teacher is ramping up exercises to get my supporting muscles in better shape, bless her heart!
Florinda, you must be sipping coffee right now, on some ancient street.... having fun?
Sorry I have been gone so long... Cathy, Coops, Denise, Sheryl, Kelly, Sarah, Florinda....
Crazy news? Im going to take classes to get my motorcycle license next week. One step at a time... if I feel ok about it, confidente, I will take more lessons, then prep for some adventure motorcycling... maybe to Alaska. Adventure. I never thought I would do this, and here I am doing it. At 62. Go figure!

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

OMG,...Usedtobe!!!
On paper, you have done such an amazing job... now we have the photos to prove it....BLOODY AMAZING FELLA!!!

My Mom and I leave tomorrow for ITALY! I have SO much work to do and errands to run and things to accomplish between now and then, aack! I've already learned how to ask for a coffee, grilled fish, and "no thank you", among other essentials . I know where the grocery is so I can buy the basic foods I need, and I am taking individual sweetener packets of stevia, so I don't have to use the beet sugar offered at the coffee bar. SOEXCITED!!!!
I'm going to eat like a continental European woman; black coffee and a tiny piece of meat

OMG,...Usedtobe!!!
On paper, you have done such an amazing job... now we have the photos to prove it....BLOODY AMAZING FELLA!!!

Sheryl, please post pics of the before and after! I would have a hard time with remodeling, too. Very stressful. We have a bunch we really need to have done on our house. My husband isn't a handy man at all so it's stressful just having people here and getting estimates. Neither of us know anything about any of what they are saying. Oh well.
Florinda, did you get your thyroid tests back? Did the dr say if any of the weight issues are related to the MS?
I have good news to share about my dad. We met with the doctors and they all agree his cancer was caught very early and from what they can tell so far, it has not spread. The oncologist said his cancer is not presenting itself the same way that most pancreatic cancer does. He believes the best route for him is to have it removed. The surgeon will take out 1/2 of his pancreas along with his spleen.
The oncologist said he doesn't believe it's terminal and he doesn't think he'll need any chemo or radiation after the surgery. He will send everything that is removed to pathology and once we get that report we will know for sure if this is the case.
Really it's the best news we could have received so far.
The surgery is major and he'll be in the hospital for a week. He's having surgery on October 7th.
I'm happy about this news. I am also a little concerned that my dad will not get a second opinion. He liked what he heard and he just wants the cancer out.
From all of the research I have done, it leads me to believe that he should get a second opinion just to be safe. Also, I wish he would go to a hospital that was more known for dealing with pancreatic cancer. We have one just a couple miles from their house, and another in Chicago. But, again, he is refusing and I can't push it. It's up to him and all I can really do is make suggestions and then support him/them with whatever is decided.
So, some of the stress is relieved because we have some answers. Some of it is still there as we all deal with him having this surgery and then getting the pathology report back with the final results.

Day 2 of demolition is complete. I was much calmer today, had a productive workday in between the minor mishaps (demolition guys are not the A Team - I was concerned the second time they managed to shock themselves..haha). I feel like I need to be here to monitor them when the boss isn't around.
I used to have a big house with big cathedral ceilings and huge windows and skylights so it has been weird to live in this darker, older style, rather cavelike dwelling. Well, it will still have short ceilings but it is already brighter with the light blocking useless wall removed - can't wait till all the recessed lights are installed - will be awesome!
I am already inspired to have a post remodel party to share my newly opened floor plan and (will be soon) well lit home

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

Oh my Sarah! That is so hard. I'm glad you came here and shared... we are here for you as much as we can.... I agree with Sheryl.... do get reassessed for your meds... in times of stress, no need to take on the extra if you don't have to. My newish meds have been great... I do notice (now at about 3 months) that the adrenaline shots I used to feel are starting to show up again... I'm on a very small dose, and may have to ramp it up a bit at some point. You take care, there IS joy to be found in this life... don't give up on finding it!

We've been back from our family holiday for over a week now... we had a fantastic time! I honestly can't believe how fast it went... the quickest holiday ever!
I was proud of myself... I wore my bikini and I didn't feel wrong or bad - even though I am far from perfect, what I learnt from my observations is that my body is suitable average - and I am ok with that. I suppose it is part of self acceptance.
I would still like to lose more weight... but if I don't then it is ok.
My hot flushes have returned though,,, and since I've returned home they have been crippling hourly some days and nights- I am sure that stress has a lot to do with the severity of them. I just hate the feeling of the intense surge of heat that leaves me bathed in sweat. It is so embarrasing. I can actually feel a change in my hormones as I feel emotional and irratic for no real reason.
I don't know if any of you have heard about the 'lady magnet'? I have been using it to combat the hot flushes since Nov time and it really did work - then about two months ago they crept back but not too bad... just a few a day none at night... I took it off for my holiday as I didn't want to go through the airport and set off the scanner things with it - way too embarrasing for us Brits to explain the menopause to a stranger...lol - and I since my return I have put it back on but it hasn't had the same effect second time around. I am hoping it will soon kick in, especially as I return to work Tuesday and there is nothing worse than stood in front of 30 teenagers and going bright red with sweat running down the side of your head! Fingers crossed.

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!

Hi Stacy,
I am just over half way there and I use my before and after pics to keep me motivated, especially when I am in a stall ... I am real slow loser but I am losing...
Here goes, hopes this helps...
[
this was the day I went in to hospital 2nd July 2010

this was the end of June 10

last week

side view!!

this is this week at 32 weeks post op, my most recent pic
Like I said, I still have a fair bit to go, but when I look back and am pleased with the progress so far... I look forward to sharing goal pics!!