TracieR

I was one of those people who got restriction quickly and lost a lot of weight quickly at first. 14 months later I am at a stand still. i know it is my fault and my eating habits. It also is that I have not dealt with my head issues. I have an addiction to food. i have had a couple of unfills over the last couple of months due to stuck issues. Yesterday I went in after having 1 cc taken out 3 weeks ago and i gained almost 6 lbs. I wasn't surprised. More surprised that it wasn't more, honestly. I've been an eating machine. I've been drinking sugary drinks, eating ice cream, cake. Anything i wasn't supposed to be. The unfill was like a free pass to eat in my head. UGH!!
 
I have kept up with exercise routine though. It is definitely the reason I hadn't gained more. So yesterday I had .75cc put back in my band. This morning I got up and went to the gym. As I write this I am drinking my protein shake. I have already had 32 oz of water. I am back full force. Tomorrow I made plans with a friend to go to the local hs track to walk and do the stairs.
 
6lbs scared the crap out of me. It can come back so fast. At that rate I would put back the 130lbs I lost in less than a year!!! I will not do it. I did not put myself at risk to have surgery to be a failure. I will suceed at this. I will be a long term success! I will do it for myself and my family. I am so much happier now. I feel so much better on days when I work out and eat healthy. I just have to take it one day at a time like i did in the beginning.
 
I'm going to post on here daily to keep myself accountable. I will set one goal a day for myself! Today my goal is to find a therapist and make an appointment. I need to work on the head!
 
I'm looking forward to a great weekend!

This weeks weigh-in: 172.2lbs - HELLS YES - 90lbs down!
I've been away for a few weeks so this is going to be a long one! SORRY ahead of time.
I had a realization about my band Saturday morning. The besties and I were headed out for a day of bridesmaid dress hunting (yes I know, less than a month away) after a late St. Patrick's Day night. I rolled out of bed and figured that we would hit up a drive-thru on the way since I felt kind of like death. I am a coffee fanatic! I neeeeed a cup of joe in the morning before I even open my eyes. My regular routine is to have a few sips before my shower and getting dressed and then I eat the same oatmeal type concoction every morning. Same time, same portion, same everything. I never have problems in the morning.
Since my last fill, I have had a few issues when I am on the road. Twice now, the Mr. and I have checked out of a hotel without coffee or breakfast and stopped in at McDonalds or Tim Hortons on the way since it is such a long drive home. We are in a hurry!!! Because I do not drink and eat with the bad, I have made the mistake of trying to eat first without the coffee. Things that would never get stuck, do. I couldn't figure it out and thought that it may be my band reacting to alcohol (for shame Jennifer, for shame). Well, this Saturday - BING!!! the light bulb came on after throwing up into a take out bag in the front seat of Sparms' new car while Mama G sat unfazed in the backseat. Totally embarrassing. They are both totally supportive and have really taken this journey with me but it sucked making them pull over to ditch my bag of slime. Then, it came to me - COFFEE LOOSENS MY BAND! I should not be eating anything solid in the morning until I have had a warmish liquid in there first. I have heard and read about this with many bandsters but never thought that it applied to me. Well, now I know. Over a year out of surgery and I am still learning and adapting to my ever-changing band!
Work is nuts!!! Wedding stuff is even more nuts and life seems to be whizzing by! We leave in 12 more sleeps. Both of our suitcases are packed, the passports are locked and loaded and my dry whiter-than-snow skin is just dying for some sunshine and some humidity! I get my hair done today too! I've never had my hair done by a real professional. I stop by at the local strip mall for a chop here and there and because I have curly hair, no one can ever tell that it is a shitty job. Not today friends. I am hitting up a real professional! I am going to wait to put up this post so that I can include a pic. I'm hoping for something natural looking.UPDATE- The trip to the salon was worth the head message alone! Really liking how soft it feels. He even straightened it too! I felt like a special lady all afternoon.

Over the last few weeks, the wedding odds and ends are being tied up. Saturday night, Sparms Bestie and I went to my Mom's house. Mom is a scrap-booker, card maker and crafter extraordinaire. We made gift tags for these gorgeous little ditties that we are sending home with guests: (this is not my photo, nor our guestbook).

Collectively, the tag dream was materialised! They turned out better than I ever expected. This proven by the fact that we used none of the things that I purchased specifically for them! Thanks Mom and Sparms!
Mama G Bestie braved make-up and underwear shopping with me. I have to admit, stores like that were really intimidating for me before. I don't wear make-up often at all. Partially because I have always purchased crap that I don't use more than once or twice. Mama G took me in to Seph*ra and wrangled a shop girl to test a bunch of powders on me.(Who wants sweat lip shiny wedding shots?) I would never insist on this alone. I would do my best to pick the one that I thought matched my colour and be done. After that trial, I know that I am completely clueless. I would assume that my skin was pink, not yellowish. What the hell do I know? Obviously nothing! Left the store with some great stuff and a little bit of an interest in make-up.
I always believed that I would never be able to buy something from "V*ctoria's S#cret".
Pssh, who cares? That place is STOOPID anyway! HMPH. Well, I hate to say it... I couldn't have been more wrong. These bras are like little silk memory foam pillows for the girls! The straps are made out of some kind of anti-slip material that feels like money on my skin! I was floored. I wanted one of everything!
Mama G stood beside me and was my courage. We had so much fun chatting and browsing that all anxiety went out the window. I flipped through the drawers looking for a white strapless for under my wedding dress. They didn't have it in white at the one location but I found the style that I wanted and they held it for me at another location. The next day, the Mister and I went to pick it up. The Mister totally enjoyed the store more than he would ever care to admit and he bought the bra and a bottle of a perfume that I had been raving about. It's called "BOMBSHELL". *cough* *cough* HELLS YEAH I AM! I am also a very lucky girl!
I love my friends and family... and they love me too... most of the time. lol.

September 8th was my 6 months "bandiversary". I wanted to document and share my feelings at this point in my journey. I started this whole process at 372 lbs. WOW! I can't believe I let it get that bad. Almost 400lbs.
 
After 6 months I am 90 lbs down and feel good. My weight loss has been great. I definitely have to work hard at it. Honestly, I get so frustrated when I read other peoples posts on here that say how come I can still eat this and that. This is not a magic pill. I have worked my ass off (literally). I work out 5-7 nights per week. I, mostly, follow the rules my doctor gave me. When I don't follow the rules or don't work out enough I don't lose as much that week. Simple as that! It is frustrating but it is my fault. This week I have barely worked out. I have plenty of excuses, super busy at work, my son has me up at 2am every night, run down. But they are only excuses. Last night I sat on the couch and watched tv. I could have worked out but I chose not to. My weight over the last couple weeks have reflected this laziness. It scares the crap out of me that it comes back so quickly - the laziness.
 
I have been lucky in that I have gotten restriction after 3 fills. I feel like I am in a good place. My last fill on 8/4 made me pretty tight. Too tight if I want to be totally honest. When the dr. said would you like me to take some out - I freaked! No way! That is going backwards. I should have let her. The first few weeks of that time I was barely eating, couldn't get my vitamins down and only crunchy carbs were going down. I still lost weight that month but I began to see negative side effects. I am learning now as my weight loss slows that I have to eat healhty. I have to reach my protein goals for the day. I have to take my vitamins. My hair is breaking off like crazy. I recently started taking the biotin and making sure I get my protein in. I was also really constipated for a while. I look back now and see the 4 weeks I wasn't eating healthy really affected me. In only 4 weeks my body revolted. I learned my lesson and now know that being too tight is not the magic thing that will make the weight fall off. It just makes me unhealthy and I lost slower. Amazing what I have learned in 6 months.
 
So I am back on the wagon today. I worked out yesterday, ate healthy and got my vitamins and protein in. Today I came prepared to work for lunch and dinner (have a late meeting). I am embracing the fall as a new beginning. I am also looking into joining a gym. I have been working out by myself and with a trainer this whole time but I need more. I am looking forward to a gym with some great classes and a fun playroom that my son can be in while I am there. Who would've thought I would have been this excited about gym shopping?
 
I do want to share one thing that bugs me.....I was almost 400lbs before I had surgery. 400 hundred pounds!!! Every joint and body part I had ached from just walking before surgery. My knees ached, my arms ached from just holding my son, I couldn't get down on the floor or up off of the floor. I've been reading on here people that say - I can't start working out yet, I have bad knees, I have to lose some weight first. STOP MAKING EXCUSES! You put your life at risk to have this surgery. Don't waste the opportunity you have given yourself. Get up go for a walk, put on some music and dance around your home, get a exercise dvd. I started with a dvd called Heavyweight Yoga - made for heavy people. Just get moving. That is the only way you will ever change your lifestyle. I really believe exercise is what has made me so successful so far. Yes, I know I am only 6 months out. I have changed so much and feel a million times better that I can't even believe that only 6 months ago I was such a mess. It is not a miracle, it is not because I had more weight to lose than most, it is because I work hard and follow the rules. (Sorry, I had to vent.)
 
Anyway, thats me at 6 months post op. Take it or leave it! I know I feel pretty damn good and I want to keep feeling this way so I will continue to work hard for me, for my son and for our family! Have a great day!