Staying Positive about Weight Loss Surgery during the Holidays

This can all get more intense around the holidays. You need even more discipline and planning when there are holiday treats everywhere you turn. People may notice your weight loss even more because you may see them only once a year. And the ones who share their negative opinions of weight loss surgery may be your relatives.

It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture and get down on yourself during this season. But you’ll get through it, and come out on the other side ready to keep losing weight and following a healthy lifestyle. Staying positive helps. Here are some of the barriers you might come across, and how you can try to overcome them and stay positive.

Comments from Other People Regarding Your Weight or Weight Loss Surgery

You probably get some comments all year. People may notice your weight loss, or want to talk about your weight loss surgery once they find out about it. But during the holidays, this can get nearly unbearable. The people noticing your weight loss may be friends or family who are in town only once a year, and haven’t seen you since last year. They can be shocked at, proud of, or jealous of your weight loss, and any of these reactions can be uncomfortable if you’re not the type to enjoy attention.

The other set of comments you might get include comments on your weight loss surgery. Almost every bariatric surgery patient has heard some unfair things about bariatric surgery, such as people saying that it’s “cheating.” What makes them worse now is when they come from family members.

These comments can get you down. You may start to feel self-conscious about your body. You may feel defensive about your decisions. The negative feelings can wear you down.

What to do about it.

You have a few different options here. First, try talking to the people who are making the comments. For example, tell them:

• “Thank you for complimenting me on my weight loss. I appreciate it, but it makes me feel self-conscious. Do you mind not mentioning it, especially in front of other people?”
  
• “Thank you for your concern over my weight, but I think I’m doing okay. I’m working closely with my doctor and surgeon, and they both agree that I still have a few pounds to lose.”
  
• “I wish weight loss surgery were a magic solution, but it’s actually not. Would you like to hear about how it works and what I have to do to lose weight?
  

Until you tell them directly, people may honestly not realize that it bothers you to hear comments about your weight. They may not know that weight loss surgery isn’t magic, and that you really do work hard every single day to lose weight and stay healthy.

Talking won’t solve every problem. The next step is to prepare for the comments. If you know they’re coming, you can put up your guard mentally so they don’t get a reaction out of you or make you feel bad or defensive. You can also recruit a few allies, such as close friends, your spouse, or your parents. Ask them to stick with you at parties and gatherings so they can change the subject if your weight loss or weight loss surgery come up.

Feeling Guilty.

You go to a party. You eat a bit of this and a little of that, and then find yourself in the bathroom with dumping syndrome. Or you sneak in a treat here and a taste there, and at your weekly weigh-in, you find that you’ve gained weight.

Bad eating and weight gain happen all the time during the holidays, and they can make you feel guilty. The problem is that guilt isn’t usually very productive. It’s more likely to drag you into a vicious cycle of overeating, feeling guilty, and overeating.

What to do about it.

First, forgive yourself. You can’t work with yourself if you’re mad at yourself. Admit you did something you’re not proud of, then accept your apology to yourself. It’s time to move on.

Next, focus on the future. You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future. Recognize that you feel guilty, figure out why you have been making poor choices, and think of what you can do to do better next time.

• Log every bite, good or bad. Something as simple as keeping an honest record of what you eat is enough to stop you from taking that extra bite.
  
• Predict problems, and avoid them. If you know you can’t pass up fudge, don’t walk by the candy shop with free samples in the mall.
  
• Plan ahead. Take a salad, some chicken skewers, or a basket of mandarin oranges to your next holiday party so you can be sure there will be healthy food to eat.
  

Feeling Deprived.

The holidays are filled with delicious food. There’s candy at work, Christmas cookies from your neighbors, egg nog and finger foods at parties, and feasts with family.

The problem is, you can’t have any of it. At least, you can’t eat the way you could before weight loss surgery. You’re limited to a few bites of certain treats. It’s easy to feel deprived. Your feelings can be even worse if you feel sorry for yourself for “needing” to work out, especially if you’re getting up early or staying up late to squeeze in a workout.

The solution.

This one’s not easy, but you can make it a lot better by changing your attitude. First, know that you’re not alone. Everyone feels that way. Don’t believe it? Go up to the most fit-looking person you know and ask. They will tell you that they are tempted by the holiday food, and they work very hard not to overeat. They’ll also tell you that they have to work to make exercise a priority during this busy season.

Next, try to think about what you’ve gained by changing your lifestyle, and not about what you’ve lost. Sure, you can’t eat frosted cinnamon rolls anymore because they’ll give you an obstruction or dumping syndrome, but you can keep up with your friends at the mall. Or, you can’t drink spiked eggnog at Christmas parties, but you can fit into a flattering dress or suit to wear to the party.

The holidays are about celebrating, being grateful, and appreciating friends and family, but you’re not alone if you find yourself getting down during the season. Weight loss surgery changes your life, and some of the changes can be magnified during this time. You can fight this by staying positive and planning ahead – just like you do to succeed the rest of the year.