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Just wanted to fill people in on what my experience has been like thus far since surgery. If you want to know something I forgot to mention, please don't hesitate to ask. HOSPITAL STAY: So I had my surgery May 19th around 10:30 am. I was in recovery and waking up by 11:45 am. All that went smoothly. The first day I was so dang tired that I drifted off and on while sitting in the chair in-between walking around and drinking. I felt bad for my husband who stay with me all day. He was totally content and happy to be there but I knew he too was tired so about 7pm I made him go home (visiting hours ended at 8 anyway). LOL When I first got to my room I was like, OMG I have HORRIBLE burning like heartburn and even complained about it. They gave me some sort of Gas chew and it didn't do jack. It wasn't until I got up and walking around that I figured out it was NOT heartburn but related to that gas inside and the walking helped that feeling subside. They gave me nothing but water or Gatorade Zero while there and I was totally fine and content with that. They mentioned medicine if I was nauseous but I never was. I felt totally fine and normal but for the one incision site that's to the right and up from my belly button. Doc said that's the typical complaint spot and where he pulls the extra stomach through so that's to be expected. But it hurt like hell when first standing from sitting and also wiping after peeing. Uggghhh. I slept in a chair sitting up that night when I could sleep which really only amounted to 3 hours total. I was given Tylenol for pain and an Oxycodone once on that first night. They sent me home with the Oxycodone too for pain and so far I have only taken it once at night to help with that pain while sleeping. The next morning they took more blood work and everything came back good and they allowed me to go home by early noon. Mostly because my pain was managed by meds and because I was easily able to get enough water down and I was not sick. Also, I did not pack much but I did pack my cell phone, charger, kindle, Biotene, Chapstick, brush, toothpaste and toothbrush, extra underwear and that was it. I did not use ANYTHING but for my brush and, right after surgery, put on my own undies and a pad since I got my period the day before surgery. I did not even use my cell phone (maybe once to post here) cause I was just so dang tired (plus trying to get my liquids in and walking) and hubby did all the updating to others for me. I mostly watched TV as it was on for background noise more than anything. MOVING AROUND: Every day is getting better but this dang incision spot is a ******!!! Can't wait for it to stop hurting cause I'm really tired of sleeping sitting up. I tried every way possible to lay down and it's just not possible! The dang area feels like it's burning and tearing apart when I do. Otherwise I'm following orders and walking around. I do not feel I still have a lot of gas issues but I most definitely feel like I am swollen about my stomach area for sure. APPEARANCE: I was actually surprised at how weird my stomach looked after surgery. Normally my stomach is smooth/one size all over and flat/round-ish (except for my little fat pouch right under my left breast that's been there forever). But upon looking at my stomach after surgery, I feel like some spots are like poofed out and others dented in, if that makes sense. Especially the bad incision spot. Strange. Not sure how else to explain it. Today is day 4 and it looks like I'm starting to bruise around most, if not all, incisions. Just slightly. FOOD/WATER: So my after diet consists of 2 weeks FULL LIQUIDS, followed by 1 week PUREE, and 2 weeks SOFT FOODS, then finally normal foods. Strange enough, I have had NO problem getting in 64 oz of liquid at all. I've had no chest pain, full feeling or sickness. A few times I had what feels like if you drink too much how it creates a sorta air bubble that hurts for a split second but then it passes. Otherwise, no issues. In fact, a few times after trying to drink/gulp like I normally would, I had to stop and remind myself that I no longer could do that. So weird cause I feel, aside from the incision pain, I would never know I even had surgery. So right now since all I've been able to ingest is liquids, I'm not sure if this is gonna be a blessing or an issue. On one hand I'm glad I can seem to "eat" and drink normal and also have had no aversions to taste. But on the other hand, I worry that will not help me in the long run to lose weight. This remains to be seen but I am scared I won't lose for this reason. So far I've had protein shakes, water, Gatorade Zero, the broths from creamed soups, sugar free popsicles and that's it. MEDICINE: I was told I wouldn't be able to swallow anything bigger than a tictac. That was a lie. I have been able to swallow all my pills, even the big ol Metformin, with no issue. POTTY: Had my first BM on my second day home. Had several a day since. No problems there either. WEIGHT: Not that I expected anything yet but, I have gotten on the scale and it's the same as it was the day of surgery. I think that's it. Can't think of anything else right now but if you have any questions please ask.

Had my gastric bypass on 9th. I am so very sore hurts to move…anyone know how long this will last?

Earlier this week insurance was a no go. This afternoon about 1:30 we get word it's been approved and surgery is set for the day after Thanksgiving. I'm starting the pre-op diet tomorrow. I wish I could remember what I needed and didn't need to take to the hospital eleven years ago!! Following several threads closely.

Surgery changes your body but does nothing for your brain. Many people see therapists to help address issues regarding addiction and/or using food as a coping mechanism. Personally, surgery has done wonders for my body. My brain is a work in progress and I suspect that will always be the case. Your question is wise and shows you have insight. My suggestion would be to seek a therapist, preferably one with experience with bariatric patients, for guidance. You have nothing to lose by proceeding slowly to ensure you make the right decision for yourself.

I agree with tek. Your surgeons office will be the advice you should follow. However, after I had my revision (for gerd) I drank liquids pretty well right after. I managed broth, crystal light and water for my meals in the hospital the first couple days with no problem. After that I was on full liquids (including pudding and jello) for 2 weeks then purées for 2 weeks. With a revision you won’t have a pyloric valve so liquids will likely be easier but as you move on you’ll feel restriction from food.

Hi there - when I got to that point (under 20 pounds from goal), my surgeon did recommend resistance training. Not in order to burn off calories, but to add muscle which raises your BMR. I adopted a beginner's dumbell routine (it was at the height of the pandemic so I couldn't go to the gym) and started doing it 3 times a week. Within 2 weeks the scale was moving again.

I have finally started stage 3 omg 😱 how delicious 🤤 2 ounces of sous vide chicken thighs with 1 once garlic sautéed mash potatoes it nearly took an hour but how delicious 😋. anyone else is just started there 3 stage of soft food???

Hi Tapioca- I am no expert and I love the idea of a Bariatric Therapist from @Jaelzion! She sounds like a pro. It also sounds like you are doing great and are at a healthy weight! Like you, I've found myself snacking on more unhealthy things lately and a few tricks that have helped me include: 1) Going for a walk for about an hour. During this hour I naturally don't snack, and drink a full water bottle. Even if i don't want to go, I tell my self to do just 20min and I always end up doing an hour. 2) Paying attention to what I am craving when I snack- usually its salty or sweet/chocolate, so I've tried to swap for healthier salt/sweet (Salt- hummus & carrots, soup; Sweet- SF hot chocolate, protein hot chocolate, 100 Cal Chocolate bar, strawberries & whip cream) 3) I stick to an eating schedule, and eat basically the same thing M-F, so I don't get too hungry and don't have to think about what I am going to eat. 4) Sometimes I force myself to have a protein shake before a snack, and 90% of the time I don't want the snack after the shake. 5) I turn off the TV/regular shows and replace them with computer (unhealthy in other ways, but nonetheless), documentaries or books. I am easily influenced by what people on TV are eating. If they are having cookies, I want cookies. 6) Controversial but, I weigh myself everyday. It keeps me motivated. I know others say not to, but it works for me. 7) Balancing out an unhealthy day, with an extra healthy one. It was my Dad's bday recently and ya know what, we had cake, pizza & wine. I had a little of each. I think long term success includes balance. So, following a day like that (which is rare, but is life) I try to have an extra healthy few days focused on protein shakes & veggies. Again, I am no expert but hope these ideas help. I know ideas from other members have helped me a ton. Take care! You are doing great!

He not only doesn't care about your health, but he also has zero respect for your home and your boundaries. If that's how he treats you when you offer help, he's done this to himself. Not bring home junk food and not smoking in exchange for a roof is hardly a big ask. He made his choice.

First and foremost you need to tell him Everything you need and want to, doesn't matter if he wants to hear it or not, you NEED to tell him how you feel, stick with I statements. I feel this way when this. I feel this way when that. Keep them pointed at you, so he doesn't feel attacked and shut down before you can even get started. Do not be afraid to tell him that he's going to end up pushing you away. You said he's overweight too, odds are he's jealous of your progress, how you are (I'm sure) feeling MUCH better, more energy, more attention from others. He's more than likely upset that he feels he's being left behind. But all of that is on him not you. You are not and will never be responsible for anyone other than your own reactions. If he's upset, that's for him to figure out why, is he upset that you are losing weight? If so... that's not your problem or fault or responsibility to fix for him. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years now. I've known my wife was bi for 23+ years. It wasn't until a good 5 years into our marriage that she finally "saw" it as well. I got fat... almost 400 ish (sitting at 190ish now) I knew that I wasn't providing her the things she needed to feel "complete" or "fulfilled" sexually. I handled the Male side of things ok, but I got a lot of "not now, I don't feel good" etc, I constantly felt like I was being pushed away. When we started opening our relationship up, we talked.... a lot. Who wanted what, why, what were the rules, boundaries, etc. We had long, very embarrassing discussions. But in the end, we both knew where we were and what was needed to keep each of us "happy" together. The idea wasn't to replace, it was to fill in. I could never be a woman, even with things being hidden by fat and having breasts... I'm not woman and never will be, so, in my mind, how can I be mad at her for wanting what I can't provide. So rules in hand we started to go out and meet people, together. I pushed her to go dance and be playful and to have fun. At first she was afraid I would be left out, and I knew I would be. And I was. But she had her time, I got some time too with a few but for the most part, it was all for her. Then I lost the weight. The wife was never really THAT big, she did hit 170-190 ish at one point, but that was because the whole house was eating like crap. I lost weight and so did she. We started working out together. We started getting more attention from others as well. My big issue is that, she reacts to me the way I would react when I was big. I was unhappy with myself, super self conscious, hated myself and lashed out a lot. She was reacting to the old me, not the new me. That spun some new deep convos, one we still work on. We met our current girlfriend back in October. At first she was really into the wife, but also interested in me, but as she was more gay than bi, it was the wife she was found of, but that slowly changed, our GF had some issues with past trauma from other GFs, so I because this shelter, and the roles that my wife and I dealth with for years, reversed. Now she's the one that feels left out or pushed aside, not that she is, just that, that's how she feels. So more and more long awkward open convos and things are so much better. I think the take away is, open up and talk. Drop your most uncomfortable information right in his lap and let him deal with it. Most men were brought up not to express ANY emotion or weakness. I've worked hard to push past that, I know that if I"m upset, I'm allowed to be upset. I cry, I get emotional, I get sad and pissed. I get needy and want to feel loved or want to feel desired. I know that a lot of my control issues come from lack of control and other things from my past, but, the 3 of us talk often. We sit down and discuss things. We have gotten to the point where one of us can request "private time" with the other and no one gets upset about it. It's been very VERY hard. All the body issues I face, control issues I face, jealousy, envy, etc. All gets sorted when talk. Not to say that you'll talk and it'll end up great for the 2 of you, but as some have pointed out above, sometimes we change and no longer fit with our spouse. And there really isn't anything wrong with that. Humans grown, change and evolve. You've made a drastic evolution. Why is he upset? Only he knows for sure. Good luck and congrats on the loss! You look like you feel MUCH better!