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I may not be like others when it comes to this but there is a reason why and it was confirmed for me recently why I don't really talk about it much. I was talking with a family member who knows that I had the VSG surgery last year and they have put on a few pounds recently (well over time). We were speaking of the US standard of BMI and I had stated that with all i've lost i'm still considered "overweight", and they said oh yeah well what do they say about my weight and I said well I don't really know your size but it you are 200 lbs or more and based on your height you are probably considered "obese". I even said a year ago I was considered "morbidly obese" according to the standards but i'm glad i'm not there anymore. Well once I said that they stated well if it had not been for the surgery you would probably still be but you "CHEATED"!! I was like cheated - really?? At that point I confirmed that no matter how many people say congratulations or i'm proud of you or you did it! In the back of some of their minds they feel "I Cheated"! That's why I don't tell people I just say I had my gall badder removed (which is true) and I can no longer eat the way I use too and I exercise and eat right (which is all true). I did not know there was a right or a wrong way; a honest way or a chearters way of losing weight?? Do you?! Just because I didn't join Weight Watchers again for the 4th time or try the lastest fad diet like most of my friends and drop some weight and then blow back up again shortly after does that make me a cheater? It doesn't matter if I slaved away in a gym 5 days a week or that I still need to eat right and be mindful of what I eat they still see me as a cheater! I hate that stigma but, at the end of the day I made a decision that was best for me and my life, i'm not coping out to being a cheater - I still have to put in the work both physically and mentally despite what people may think about bariactric surgery and it's supposed "quick fix". I've seen people gain it all back so I know that it is not a quick fix and you still have to work at it - it's a tool. Used wisely or unwisely you will it the fruits of it. I just needed to vent I guess and it hurt me to hear that from a loved one but like I said that's why it has been a personal choice of mine not to be forth coming with this journey of mine because of that very comment. Hopefully one day I will feel open enough to let more people in on my journey but until then that's why I have my VST family where i'm not judged!

Can not believe I am already 10 weeks out!! I really wish I lost more but at the same time I am pleased with what I see so far

WHAT???? This pissed me off. This surgery was harder than anything I've ever done. There is no way it's cheating. I will say it took my husband about a week or two to finally see how much went into this surgery and how much I had to concentrate on and do. He randomly looked at me one day and said, "I don't know how you manage to do this everyday and the rest of your life. You are the strongest person I know and if anyone ever says you took the easy way out I will tell them to come and live with us for three days to see there is NOTHING easy about what you do." With that being said, please know that many people don't know how to handle having someone loose that much weight. They feel the need to put you down to make themselves feel better. What I say is SCREW THEM!!!!!!! They can think whatever they want....you know the truth!!!! Best of luck to you on you journey. Don't allow negative people to get to you and remember, this was not EASY or a CHEAT and as long as you are happy with who you are then who cares what anyone thinks about you weight loss.

Wow, when they said I might have hair loss they weren't kidding! I just started my Bosley shampoo/conditioner/hair regrowth treatments and I hope that they kick in soon. Every time I shower I literally have hunks of hair falling out into my hands. Yuck! I'm not exactly happy about this, but I'm resigned that its happening and will continue to happen for awhile. On the other hand, I'm so DAMNED excited that I'm 9 itty bitty pounds away from ONEDERLAND! I haven't been this weight since college. I went shopping the other day and was able to find clothing in the regular section of the store. I about started to cry! Actually my friends had to keep pulling me away from the plus size clothes because I kept thinking that's where I needed to be. I actually where between a L and a XL in shirts and am a 14 in pants. Not bad since I started at almost a 3XL and a size 24! I look into the mirror and I think "I look pretty". It's been sooooo long since I thought that. I'm still flabbergasted about how much my life has changed in a little over 3 months. This is the BEST decision I've ever made. I'm hoping to lose a full 100 pounds by my sixth month surgiversary. That will put me at the weight I was my senior year of high school at 180. Then I just need to lose 40 more itty bitty pounds and will be at my doctor's suggested weight for my height and body build. I'm going on a rockin' vacation in February and hope to be, if not at my goal weight, to be within spitting distance of it. Thank GOD I decided to do this. I don't regret a moment of the pain, crazy hormones, or stress that I've gone through over the last few months. Literally this has been the best decision EVER. Now, if only my hair would stop falling out.....*amused*

Lookin good !!!

So, I was sitting at work today and as my shift was winding down, found myself daydreaming about VSG again. I got to thinking (and worrying myself) about post-op living and long term care. Would I require b12 shots for the rest of my life? will I ever be able to eat sugar again? what about reflux? will I have unending reflux that requires lifelong treatment? Am I putting myself at risk for complications that far surpass the initial post-op recovery stage? what am I really thinking about doing to myself?!??!?!?! As I'm thinking myself into a panic, my phone lights up for a new email and this distracts me from my thoughts. A UPS order that I placed wasn't delivered because UPS requires a signature. I have no idea why, but UPS pretty much refuses to leave packages on a first attempt. They require a signature even if the sender doesn't require a signature. It's so beyond frustrating, every time I deal with UPS, I have to call them and get into a huge argument about this. I hate it! The package in question? My fat girl pants - for girls too fat to shop in normal stores. So yeah. That pretty much cinched it for me - I need to get out of these BIG GIRL britches ASAP!! All this stress/phone calls/talking to supervisors/getting SERIOUSLY TICKED OFF is because I need my giant pants. So sad! So what if I need Nexium forever - better than needing MAIL ORDER CLOTHING!! Anyway, thought this ironic tale might give someone a needed chuckle today.

Reading these blogs and forums has been such a great help to me and I have started to realize that there is hope and better days to come. Everyone's inspiring stories has really made me start to think about what I'm looking forward to after I have surgery. Here is a list I will share with all of you: Going out - anywhere without feeling embarrassed Fitting in an airplane seat Going to the movies without feeling stuffed in the seats Sitting on the floor to play with my nieces and nephews Bending down to pick something up Exercising without feeling embarrassed Riding my bike Buying cute clothes from "normal" stores Dating Going to the park Going on walks Camping Traveling-anywhere-and not having my weight hold me back Swimming without feeling embarrassed Feeling like I'm worthy.....of anything Being taken seriously Not feeling shameful I know there is a lot more, but that's all I can think of for now. For all of you who are in the pre-op stages....what are you looking forward to the most? ~Holly

i also had my surgery on 8-8-12, yay us!!!!