I think it will be good for you to speak to a professional and I hope that your surgical team will give you information that you can use besides the typical diet options.
but you pretty much answered your own question, you have been obese majority of your life and you have kids whom need their mother. That would be enough for me.
no one is every fully ready for a lifelong change. The same thing when people say “oh, you’re never ready for kids.” Your nerves are just talking and that’s ok. You have got this! The journey will be well worth it I am sure.
And remember, there’s all of us on this forum with tons of info