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No Regrets! (well Not Anymore)

Sleevie WonderLand

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October 18th, 2011 was a monumental day in my life. The three months leading up to that date were anxiety filled, and I spent every waking moment on VST and YouTube gathering all the information I could about being sleeved. No matter how much research you do, you're still never fully able to comprehend how much your life will change - in my case for the better.

 

While in the hospital after being sleeved, things weren't so bad, in fact I was expecting to be in a lot more pain than I actually was. I anticipated that it would be excruciatingly bad, but in comparison to my 3 sections and one natural birth, the pain was minimal. I was able to walk by the second day (very slowly of course) and didn't experience any of the gas issues that people talk about during their experience. Even my nurses and surgeon mentioned how I was doing so well. Physically, I was the ideal post op patient. Mentally however, I was a frickin MESS!

 

My first couple of days home were a little rocky as I was having issues with my acid reflux meds. The omeperazole they prescribed for me didn't agree with my system, so I had to go on Nexium. No big deal, I had a rough day and a half till we worked that out. But the real issue I had with getting sleeved was the restriction. I knew that I signed up for this surgery because restriction would be the ONLY way that someone like me could ever lose weight and keep it off. I don't have enough will power to stop myself from eating for no reason. Even as a sleeved woman, if there is a piece of food near me I have the urge to eat it - not because I'm hungry, but because its there. With the sleeve though, I have to make a conscious decision before I eat anything or suffer the consequences. Am I willing to eat that food and suffer from "dumping" or feeling overly full for several hours, or even vomiting because it doesn't agree with my new tummy? These are the things that go through my head now before I stuff my face for no reason. My sleeve has made me a conscious eater.

 

Although the restriction is just what I needed, as you'll see in my previous blogs, I resented this sleeve for not allowing me to be greedy and eat any and everything I wanted. I resented this sleeve because I couldn't just take it back to the store and get my old tummy back. I resented this sleeve because I wasn't in control. I had to do what my sleeve liked. I had to submit to my sleeve and finally after a little over 2 months I can say my sleeve and I are a team. We're in sync. I'm not holding up my end of the bargain as I should with my protein counts, but Im working on it. As long as I keep my sleeve hydrated and give her some stuff to eat every few hours, she's good. No belching, no vomiting, no gurgling, no problems.

 

I said all this to say that loving my sleeve wasn't necessarily an easy road to get to. Sometimes when you read the posts of those people who have been successful with their sleeve after many months, the "bad" stuff tends to get left out and you're left with these expectations of happy sleevedom and when you do get sleeved you wish you'd never done it. It happened to me. No one told me about the resentment stage and no one told me that I might have buyers remorse in my first few weeks of being sleeved. No one told me that I would feel trapped, and angry, and want to stay in my bed for weeks until it all got better.

 

I hope this note helps that person out there who is nearing their surgery date - know that the road to recovery may not be easy at first, but when you do get accustomed to your sleeve and new lifestyle it will all be worth it in the end, and you'll be able to pass the info on to the next new sleevester..



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I guess that we all have unique and different experiences post op. I can say honestly that I did not go through a "resentment" phase. My issues were more of a mental acceptance of who I was looking at in the mirror (a different person) and dealing with that aspect, not so much what I could not consume because of being restricted.

I'm happy that you are doing better!

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I had to common 2nd day after surgery.. OMG " what have I done?" thought.

Your post was Very helpful to me becuase I can see where this would be something that I would go through. At this point...only 5 days post op- I have no idea what I can or can not eat once I start solids. I will say that I know I will miss bread because I heard it is harder to digest. I have to be on a three week clear liquids becuse of my revision and excessive scar tissue. The bad thing is that I feel like I could eat what ever I wanted right now. Holding back is difficult but very important to prevent leaks for me. This makes it hard. I already resent that I have more time on clear liquids than most people. I would love to start mushy foods in another week, not two. But I have to get in the mindset of the whold "Life Change" on eating habbits. I hope to start attending a support group soon, as I think this well help give me the encouragement that I need.

Thanks for your post.

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@Kuntry, as with everything, it all gets better with time. To have to have liquids for 3 weeks to enable you to have a lifetime of better health is definitely a small price to pay. Once you get over it, its not so bad, its the going through that drives you crazy! I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Even when you want to throw that shake or soup or whatever it is that's in front of you, just keep in mind that it's temporary and that the good food will be coming your way soon and that you'll be losing weight in the interim!

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OMG! i haven't been sleeved or banded or anything else but I couldn't have found your post at a better time. Your words below are so what is going on will me. I am filled with anxiety and when i'm not working I am researching, reading, YouTubing...I am insane and it seems like the more I read the more questions I have. I think this was my confirmation tonite and I can now go to bed and get a good nights sleep.

The three months leading up to that date were anxiety filled, and I spent every waking moment on VST and YouTube gathering all the information I could about being sleeved. No matter how much research you do, you're still never fully able to comprehend how much your life will change - in my case for the better.....

Thanks for posting!

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Sleevie,

Your post was one of the only ones that made me feel better. I too went through a period of feeling like I had made the wrong decision. ( my surgery was Feb.13th ) I spent 3 days in the hospital and once I got home, things got worst. I had problems with dehydration since I couldn't get all my fluids down and also had other complications due to BP meds. All that is behind me now and I have finally began to feel like myself again. My problem now is that I haven't lost any more weight. I have transitioned from liquids to soft foods but from what others say the weight just poured off them. I am going to contact my surgeon to ask what I am doin wrong. I eat very little since I can't consume much.

I am glad to hear you are doing well . Hopefully I will become friends with my sleeve and things will fall into place for me.

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I am glad I read this prior to my surgery. (scheduled this monday march 12). In a way it comforts me and lets me know that if I have issues after the sx.. (which I am sure I will because I have had that "what am I doing to myself" thoughts during pre-op diet) that it will get better and there was a REALLY GOOD reason I had the sx.

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So glad you posted about your experience it has really shed more insight on what to expect. I go in on June 13th for the sleeve. And I'm terrified. I keep trying to talk myself out of surgery. How did you cope with watching everyone else eat around you i.e. while cooking meals for the family etc.?

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There are many adjustments that have to be made as a sleever. Depending on who you decide to tell about your decision for surgery, you may have to turn down a lot of offers for food and drink while out on the social scene. Usually when I go out I get comments on the small amount of food I eat, and I casually remind those commenters that if I want to keep my weight off, I have to eat like a bird. What Ive found is that most of the people I hang with have all cut back on the amounts of food they eat because they are actually a little embarrassed to over eat in front of me!

My family knows the situation. THey've adjusted to my bird eating, and my not eating at all sometimes. Cooking hasnt changed either, except my family has been eating a lot more seafood than before because thats what I eat a lot of now. I find that seafood is easier for me to digest, and its so much quicker and easier to cook too! (but it costs). There have been slight changes to my entire family's eating habits i.e, no one eats while drinking anymore. It was a tactic I used with my young children before my surgery to get them to eat their food. I found that when I gave them a beverage with their food they would finish the beverage then not eat, so I would always encourage them to eat before drinking. It's the BEST way to get them to finish those veggies. My husband used to eat and drink, but to support me during my transition he stopped eating and drinking, and now it's the norm for him too.

If you look at these changes you'll have to make as positive ones that are for your betterment, you're less likely to have a hard time making them. If you b***h and moan about them, then the adjustment will be harder. If you don't try to adjust and make changes, you'll suffer. It's as simple as that.

I wish you the best of luck! If I had one suggestion for you before you go in for surgery it would be to enjoy a nice meal because it will be quite sometime before you are able to eat really savory foods again. That pre-op diet is a killer and I harbored so much resentment because it was 6 frickin weeks before I could enjoy something as simple as eggs...lol

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You have captured my sentiments exactly. I had my surgery almost two weeks ago, and have been second guessing myself for the last few days. I realized that I am grieving the food I wont be able to eat again, and resenting those who can eat whatever they want ( without the weight gain.) I'm trying to stay positive and I know someday I will be thankful for the surgery, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

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