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About this blog

The things I learned pre and post surgery

Entries in this blog

 

Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster

I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"   It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.   So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.   I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.   The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.   The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!   So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.   Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.   So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.   Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
joatsaint

joatsaint

25
 

Premier Protein Drinks Review - Chocolate

I almost finished my first one without stopping, it was so good. The chocolate shakes deserve 2 thumbs up in a Z formation!   Very good taste, no grittiness. I like them better than the EAS chocolate carb control shakes. Although I do wish both brands were a little thicker.   I've tried Muscle Milk, EAS, Pure Soy and Premier Protein chocolate shakes and Premier Protein has been the best for flavor and smoothness. Very yummy, almost as good as chocolate milk.   Price wise, they are a little more expensive than EAS. EAS are 4 for $5 at Walmart. Premier Protien was 12 for $19 at Sam's Club (my Walmart didn't carry Premier).   But as good as Premier tastes, I will won't mind paying a little more. I only wish Sam's had the Premier Protein bars as well - but they were sold out. Maybe next trip.  
joatsaint

joatsaint

22
 

Girl! You Ain't Gonna Believe This! or How to Explain Your VSG Scars

How To explain away my scars?   OK, this is awful so don't read if you are easily offended and do not appreciate a sick sense of humor.         Warning! Don't read if you are easily offended!                 Last Warning! Sick Humor below!!!!!         Shanked in prison... Shuts them up every time! - VSGKirk   Some idiot: What happened? You: I had abdominal surgery. Idiot: What kind? You: The kind that involves the abdominal area. - newat52   Tijuana knife fight. - Kristina J.   I had some "woman issues " - chell1978   Texas mosquito bites   I was knifed by an exotic dancer in TJ.   Full contact scrapbooking injury... When you get the weird look, you can fill in that scrapbooking is getting really intense now that scrappers are trying to make the hobby "athletic enough" for the Olympics.   Bears. But never mind my scar, you should check out my awesome new rug!   My wife said somtimes I don't know my place.   Tell them you are trying to avenge your father and ask if they have six fingers on their right hand.   Two words, "Satin sheets"   I don't want to go into details, but suffice to say, I won't be allowed in that Benihana for a while.   The first rule of Fight Club is 'don't talk about Fight Club'   They say you can't get blood from a stone - well, the IRS tried!   Remember when your mom told you not to run with scissors?   I was watching the DIY network and they did a show on bodylifts...   A zombie tried to eat my brains and missed.   Tell them as much as you'd love to talk about it you just can't because your defense attorney and parole officer advised you to keep your mouth shut until after the trial.   I got this in a bar fight when I used to ride with Hells Angels.   That's where the aliens probed me   Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a to put on warning labels!   Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.   "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."   I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.   I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.   I slipped while making a salad.   I fell asleep, and the clown got me.   I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.   I'm a blade sharpness tester   "I had an accident with a scalpel." [person asks why] "Well, you know that guy who woke up in an ice bath and his kidney was gone? Er... this had nothing to do with it. Honest."   You know how dogs chase their tails? Well it has nothing to do with that. Nor does it have anything to do with cat scratches. Or the faeries that visit me nightly *ramble on*... What was I talking about?   I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.   "Oh, these?" *embarrassed face* "I know they look horrible, but the sex was INCREDIBLE!"   "...Are you consipring aginast me? What's with all the questions? Who wants to know the answers?" *and upon interrupting "I'm doing the talking here" and then continue to ramble until they back away. "...They'll come and get you too. Run while you still can"   Knifed by an exotic dancer. Terrible. Yes, they're nasty that way.   I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.   I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.   The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.   The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.   I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.   The voices told me to do it.   I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile::   In my past life I was a ninja.   It sucks having parents who are sadists.   My boyfriend and I accidentally went overboard during our last S & M session.   I moon light as a stunt-woman who dives through glass windows.   Look at your scars and frown You mean you don’t have any?   Well, last time it was an alien baby. I’m actually kind of relieved.   I had a narrow escape from a firing squad.   Now that is an interesting question; it all ties in with the eternal enigma: why are we here, for what purpose does life on earth exist? go on about the meaning of life until everyone gets bored and goes away   Carving a turkey is harder than it looks   You want me to show you? smile evily   Don’t EVER give blood abroad!   Well, I tend to get a little violent with the computer when it doesn’t cooperate.   Oh those? Bad juggling accident. I don’t like to talk about it. I’m much better now   Oh these? Hmm, I dunno, they’ve just always been there. Well, I mean, ever since I took over this body, anyway. Strange, don’t you think?   Ozzy Osborne is my uncle and we have some kick butt family reunions!   Those psychology experiments are soooo not worth the extra credit…   Oh my god! Never, EVER try taking candy from a baby!   A reminder of my Pirating days....   My trained attack dragon did before I got him trained...   I had a duel.   Did you know chickens aren't all soft and fluffy?   Playing Slug Bug with a cat is a reaaally bad idea.   Oh this? *point at scar* That's where my twin used to be attached.   Lightsaber battle   I kicked Chuck Norris' ass all I got was this lousy scar!   Tell them you had to help Jack Bauer escape from the Russians and that's the last time you'll cover his pansy ass.   Narrowly escaped a zombie attack   Fell on the runway-it's Fashion Week   Rachel Ray's dog attacked me.   I just tell people it's a "sex wound."   My husband is ... just ... a WILD MAN, what can I say?             That's all folks!                   Really, that's all there is.                   No hablo the english? There isn't anymore. Stop scrolling!                   Ok, okay, one last one.   It's where the alien burst out. What, you think they only come out of chests?         Satisfied!??????????
joatsaint

joatsaint

18
 

5 Weeks Post-OP Still Teaching Myself to Eat Slowly

Even this far out from surgery, I still have problems eating slowly - especially if it is something that goes down easily like peanut butter. By accident I found a way to train myself to eat slower.   It's chicken! My stomach doesn't seem to like ground up chicken and I can feel the gurgles and gas building after a bite or two. So I figure, why not use that to my advantage? So I'll be eating more chicken. Knowing that I have to stop eating after a bite is going to force me to lay the spoon down between bites.   Anyone else have a food or foods that cause them to have stomach gurgles and gas?
joatsaint

joatsaint

16
 

Post-Op 21 Days - Sick and Tired

Well, it's been 21 days since my surgery. I'm having trouble getting in enough walking. My feet and hips get seriously sore after 20 minutes of walking. I'm not sure that I've fully gotten over my cold because I feel very weak and tired every day. I've noticed that I don't sleep as much anymore. Previously, I'd sleep between 8 and 10 hours but now I sleep about 7 and wake up and can't get back to sleep.   I've been stuck at the same weight for the past 5 days. I've been watching my calorie intake pretty closely and know that I'm taking in between 700 - 1000 calories a day. I figure that plus the walking should be making an impact. It could just be a plateau, so I'll just keep on keeping on.   One bit of good news, I had to punch a new hole in my belt. So now I'm one notch smaller.   The 2nd bit of good news is that I haven't felt hungry since the surgery. Hunger has always plagued me - as far back as I can remember. It was like a little nagging kid pulling at my sleeve. And I couldn't get rid of him. I knew that 2 hours after eating a meal of almost any size, that I'd be digging in the fridge for the next thing to eat. I knew that I was not physically hungry, but the constant need to eat drove me to put something in my stomach as soon as there was room. I believe it was the over production of ghrelin (wiki link) in my stomach that caused me to be hungry all the time. I am sure that I was a food addict.   I've been testing different foods. So far I've found that my stomach can handle fat free re-fried beans with salsa and a little hamburger, peanut butter, fat free yogurt, cream of mushroom and cream of chicken soup and hard boiled eggs.   I still can't handle chicken, sugar free popsicles or sugar free jell-o. One tsp and I almost immediately feel gas bubbles rolling through my stomach.   In case you're interested in how I test new foods, I normally eat 1/2 tsp of the new food. Wait 5 minutes. If everything feels okay, I eat a full tsp. My stomach will usually let me know how it feels about a food after the 1st or 2nd bite.   I haven't tried any other drinks besides Crystal Light lemonade and water. I've been drinking Crystal Light for over 10 years and never gotten tired of it. I wish it was out there back when I was a kid. But the only diet drinks back then were horrible! Tab and Fresca - MAN, those were some awful flavors.   Anyone else remember Tab and Fresca? Anyone drink more than 1 can before throwing it away?
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

Ultimate Revenge on a Telemarketer or How I Gave It Back to a Telemarketing Sociopath

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.   I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.   Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.   Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.   A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.   Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.   At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.   Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.   Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.   We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations. Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.   Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.   The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.   The conversation goes as follows:   Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”   Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”   Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”   Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”   Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”   “Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”   “Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”   “We cannot give out the information you want.”   Sociopath: “Hold sir.”   At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.   Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”   Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."   “On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”   Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”   At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)   Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”   Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”   Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”   Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”   Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”   Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”   Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”   CLICK!...   He hung up!...   The nerve!   When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.   I asked, “What’s wrong?”   And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”   I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”   “Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”   She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”   I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”   At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!   But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.   P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?   I imagine it would be something like this:   “Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”   “Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”   “Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”   “Yes, sir. Go on.”   “Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”   “It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”   “Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”   Pause   “Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

NSV #2 - You Best Step Off, B-hatch!

They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step. What they don't tell you is that the journey is a b*tch if you're on step 1!   1/14/2015 Well it's been a few months since I last walked. November to be exact. With the cold weather and injuries and sinus drainage, I was pretty much out of commission. We were at it hard during September and October, hitting new highs on speed, sometimes going as fast as 3.9 mph for 3 miles.   But November, my partner hurt his ankle and was out for 3 weeks, then I got terrible sinus headaches from breathing the smoke from neighbors burning piles of leaves and then the cold rain set in. So here it is, the middle of January and we haven't walked a mile per day. Fortunately, I've actually lost weight in that time and kept it off. My new job keeps me moving quite a bit.   8/26/2014 Wish there was more the report, but it's still HOT in Texas. Most days the temp is around 91 with a heat index of 101 when I walk. I've had to start wearing a water soaked towel around my neck and a hat while I walk to complete 3 miles. I've come close to heat exhaustion a few times and had to head over to the water faucet and soak my head till the dizziness clears. I thought I'd have built up a tolerance to the heat by now, but doesn't seem like that is going to happen. Good news is, the worst of the heat is over, once we hit September temps will slooooooowly creep down to the low 90's every evening. And by October, we'll be back in the 80's. I can't wait to see how fast I can do 4 miles when the temps are down in the 80's. Hopefully, I'll break the 15 minute mile. :-)   7/30/2014 I know I keep saying this, but OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS! The good news is that today was a cloudy day and I managed 4.25 miles @ 3.6 mph. I should be up and above 4 mph by the time cool weather rolls in during October.   The heat is still in the 94 - 95 degree range with a heat index of 101 - 104. And as Madge said on the Palmolive dish-washing detergent, "You're soaking in it." :-P I'm still walking 5 days a week and hugging every inch of shade I can find! But I had to cut back to 3 miles, down from 4. I was just getting too dizzy and sick - even with using a water soaked towel to keep cool and carrying a water bottle. Monday, I had to stop at 2.5 miles and go soak my head under a water faucet. I hit a point and knew I had better get cooled off or something bad was about to happen.     7/24/2014 OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS! For the past week it's been between 91 and 94 degrees with a heat index of 101 - 104... during the evenings... when I'm walking! I've had to begin carrying a wet towel and carry a water bottle to prevent dehydration and heat exhaustion. But aside from that, I've managed to walk between 3 and 4 miles in about an hour, averaging 3.5 - 3.7 mph. And haven't missed a day this week. But you gotta believe it when I say I was looking for ANY excuse to skip walking after work. But alas, the weather has been clear during the evenings and all the rain has managed to miss my exercise hour. I wonder how much it would cost me to have a crop duster fly up and seed some clouds just around the time I supposed to start walking????   7/04/2014 Another 3 miles (including 1 mile in total of jogging in short stretches) in the record book. It still amazes me when I think back to just 18 months ago when I would go to bed wondering how much it would hurt to walk from the car to my desk at work.   The Texas heat is a monster and I was really dreading walking (I mean baking) in 94 degree heat with a heat index of 101. That was yesterday! But I got rained out at the last minute. :-) ****Does happy dance**** I know, I know, I should be like those workout gurus and tell you how much I missed not going out there and sweating my ass off. But I gotta be honest and say I will take any "HONEST" excuse to duck out on walking in this heat. When I say "HONEST EXCUSE" I mean just that.... a real, "believable", reason (rain, when my car had a flat 2 weeks ago, or I feel like I've been pushing myself to the point of injury or sickness). Skipping a walk just because I don't feel like it is not enough.   So this morning the I had planned to walk with a friend at Claiborne Park just north of Vidor, TX. We normally do 3.25 miles and I've been increasing the distance I've been jogging. But the radar shows rain headed right for us in the next hour or so. So we cancelled it.   Instead I ran around my neighborhood. One lap around my block is approx. 1/2 mile. 2 long sides and 2 short sides. In 70 degree weather, I managed to run 12 of the short sides for a total of 1 miles....And the amazing part was I could have done more! So we'll see how much more tomorrow when I'm back out at Claiborne.     6/29/2014 Can't believe how well my attempts to jog are working out. Averaged 3.5 mph for 3.25 miles today. I walk a figure 8 style track and managed to jog the 4 straightaways all three laps. My next goal is to jog 1 mile non-stop. Shooting to reach that goal by the end of July. If the heat gets to be too much for me, my fall back plan is to go back to wearing the 30 lb weight vest and speed walk the trails.   6/19/2014 Another 3.25 miles down. Speed is still slow at 3.1 mph. Temp 91 degrees. Managed to make the whole circuit on 13 swallows of water. It's a pain to have to carry a water bottle on the trail, but it beats getting heat stroke!   It's been tough getting used to the Texas heat. The heat's really been kicked up a notch since the end of May. I thought it was bad when the temps were in the high 80's. Oh how I long for those days. My walking partner calls me the shade hunter. He's much more tolerant of the heat. He can walk in full sun for the whole 3.25 miles, while I zigzag on the trail - going from one patch of shade to the next. I think I may actually be walking farther than him, but he carries the GPS, so I have to go by his distance and time. Doesn't matter to me though, just completing the whole trail every day is a win.   06/18/2014 Man is it hot! The Texas Summer heat is just getting its stride and things are baking in the park. I'm up to 3.25 miles each day/ 3.1 mph while wearing a 30 lb vest. Fastest speed without the vest was 3.6 mph for 3.25 miles. Thinking it might be time to try the couch to 5k plan. Not really sure all this effort is worth the results. It's a vicious cycle - the more I get in shape the farther/faster I have to walk to burn the same amount of calories.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/02/2013 Hit a new personal best time at the park. 3.2 miles an hour, did 3 point something miles in about 53 minutes or something close to that, I've forgotten the exact time. :-) But at least I'm getting better, both in distance and being able to recover enough to walk at the same intensity day after day. It seems like only yesterday (actually it was Jan 2nd) that I started my walking program by taking the long way around the office to the bathroom. :-P Just goes to show that taking small steps can add up to bigger things later on.   7/11/2013 Well, I lost Gilligan, my pedometer. I named him Gilligan cause he was my "little buddy". Not sure where he ran off to. I left the house with him on my hip and at the end of the day, he was gone.   So now I have Gilligan the 2nd or Gilligan the Next Generation, depending on your point of view. Gilligan II is a little smarter, so hopefully he won't get lost. He keeps track not only of my steps and mileage, but takes into account my weight, lists calories burned, total steps, aerobic steps (meaning any walking continuously for 10 minutes or more) and tells me how long I've been aerobically walking . And he remembers everything from the past 6 days.   The good news is that I've graduated to a 2 mile trail in a local park. It has lots of ups and downs - and the occasional rabbit/armadillo/snake/Pimp butterfly on the trail to keep things entertaining. And I'm able to make the walk 6 to 7 days a week.   My 1st goal was to be able to complete the 2 miles every day 6 to 7 days a week. I have reached that goal as of July.   The next goal is to start increasing my speed. See if I can break the 45 minute mark for completing the trail. Current best speed is 46 minutes.     5/17/2013 Finally! Made over 10k steps a day for 6 days in a row. My original goal was to do it for 5 days in a row. Plus as an added NSV, I have graduated from walking on flat, level surfaces to walking in a parking garage. I do the 1st 5k steps in the morning on level ground, but at lunch, I step it up (no pun intended) by going out to a 3 story parking garage. Having to walk up those inclines between floors add a whole new level to the phrase "pain in the butt!" :-P   I was walking next to a coworker yesterday and she said, "I smell smoke." I said, "That's me. I'm not just hot, I'm SMOKIN!"   For those out there that have feet and knee pain like me, it pays to move, no matter how little. That's how I started out 5 months ago.   I could barely walk from the parking lot to the store without limping and being in a lot of pain. But I always parked at the far end of the lot and minced my way into the store. And I set a goal to walk the inside perimeter of my office every time I went to the bathroom or had to leave my desk. That was 4 to 10 laps a day.   When we move to a bigger office in Feb. I set a goal to make 4 laps a day around the office (approximately 1200 steps plus the 500 steps from the parking lot to my desk got me up to about 1700 steps a day).   When I got to the point where I could tolerate the 4 laps with no lasting pain, I added 4 laps at lunch. Then 5 in the morning and 5 at lunch till I could do 10 each time. That took several months to accomplish and I usually only could do that at most 3 days a week and be in pain for the other 2 days.   Now 10 laps twice a day is too easy, so I changed to going into the parking garage at lunch. The inclined ramps are easy on my ankles and ups my aerobic activity. Plus it gets me out in the sun - gotta have my Vitamin D!   That's how I did it. Little changes add up. Now I've got 2 ladies a work who SAY they want to start walking with me - but so far it's only been talk. :-)   This is from today, 5/17/2013. It's gonna break my heart to reset it in the morning!     2/19/2013 Just checked my pedometer when I got home and finally crossed the 10k steps goal or 4.5 miles in 1 day.   I usually on get in around 2.5 to 3 miles a day, but today I had a lot of extra walking at work and for the 2nd day this week I've been able to walk additional laps around the building at lunch.   Hopefully my feet and hips will allow me to maintain or surpass 10k a day from now on.   Update:3/28/2013 Still managing to get closer to my goal of 5 miles/day, 7 days a week. I'm averaging 4.5 miles/day 4 days a week. My hips no longer hurt, just some muscle soreness. And my feet are usually only a little painful after walking but the pain is almost gone the next day.   The people at work are starting to take notice of my walking before work and at lunch time. Commenting on my weight loss, that may sound encouraging, but I'd rather stay unnoticed and unremarked on. Noticing my weight loss and exercising will only lead to questions - ones I'd rather not answer.   I've had one or two people comment on how much they need to start walking with me, almost daily, but they never seem to find the time to do even one lap around the floor with me. I never made those type of comments when I'd see people working out, cause I knew that I wasn't going to make the effort. So why try to fool them and me? If I did, it would feel like I was apologizing for being fat and feeling guilty for not exercising.   I didn't feel like any kind of exercise plan was going to do me any good. I was too far gone. As Ralphie May said, "This is way past a diet coke fix."     3/4/2013 I'm still walking 3 - 4 miles per day, 5 days a week, but getting past 10k steps a day is tough. My feet and hips are pretty sore the day after doing that many steps and it limits me reaching 10k more than 2 or 3 times a week. But I keep working at it. As long as I'm walking every day, I'm getting closer to my goal.
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

Quick FAQs - Frequently Asked Questions

Okay, this post is not to bash the newbies or newts (not a newbie/not a veteran), although I can see how it could look that way. My sense of humor is dry/sarcastic and it's hard to convey that in print.   I thought I'd start compiling some of the most commonly asked questions I see posted on weekly basis, just to show that you are not alone with your thoughts and concerns.                          Will all my hair fall out after VSG?      "Individuals don't begin to notice the increase in hair loss when showering or brushing the hair until about three months post-surgery. Although the resting hair is being pushed out of the scalp by new hair that is already growing, it can take anywhere from about six months to a year for the hair to return to its normal fullness.       Individuals who have undergone gastric bypass or other operations of the digestive tract designed to reduce obesity are more prone to hair loss post-surgery. This is due to the reduced intake of food in the weeks and months immediately following these procedures. The body needs an adequate amount of proteins and vitamins to maintain hair production. Protein-enhanced shakes are often recommended for these patients as a substitute until solid food can be better tolerated.     Hair loss related to surgery typically reverses itself without any medicinal intervention or the need for over-the-counter hair loss tonics or treatments. However, maintaining a diet rich in protein and iron is believed to help promote and speed up healthy hair growth. Suggested foods include salmon, beans, eggs, spinach, broccoli, nuts and whole-grain cereals. Avoid foods that can inhibit hair growth, such as those that contain high levels of caffeine and fat." Losing Hair After Surgery | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/...l#ixzz2Maz1GjQH   Can I take my leftover stomach home in a jar?        Man, what kind of sickie... um I mean, that's a very astute question. I didn't ask my doctor about it, but from what I've read, it's considered medical waste and a biohazard in the U.S. So you can't have it as a trophy or to tan and make a beanie out of it.      If you're having surgery out of the country, then they may let you take it home, just be careful going through customs. If they ask about it, just tell them you found proof that the Chupacabra exists in Mexico.   Can't I do this with out the surgery? You know, eat the crazy small amounts and still lose weight? Why isn't that ok?        You can eat the small meals to lose weight, and it is okay. I just couldn't live that lifestyle for very long. It was a non-stop battle to keep myself from eating more.   How did you choose your doctor, how much did it cost, and how did you pay for it?         I don't want to recommend my doctor, since I wasn't happy with the aftercare, but I paid about $5k between the doctor and hospital. I put it on a credit card and will have it paid off before the end of the year. I found my doctor by calling my insurance company and getting a list of approved WLS doctors. I did a Google search for each doctor and read the reviews before choosing my surgeon.   Do you regret having WLS surgery?      I do not regret it for a minute. Even with all the discomfort of the 1st 10 days, I am very happy with the result. Food is no longer the focus of my life and I love sitting at a buffet restaurant knowing that I will only eat about 1/4 plate of food.   What do I need to pack for the hospital? Here is a long list of suggestions on things you might want to consider taking with you. http://www.verticals...surgery-thread/   How soon after surgery can I start drinking alcohol? I'm sure every doctor has their own recommendations, but my doctor said wait 6 months post-surgery before drinking alcohol again. I'm not a big drinker to begin with, so I didn't miss alcohol. But I did drink about 2 oz. of Tequila at month 6 or 7 and was buzzing immediately, more so than I would have been pre-surgery. So, if you're going to start drinking again, just be aware that it may take less alcohol to impair your system. :-)
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

I Feel Pretty…Oh So Pretty…or HONEST, Those Aren't Mine!

Ok, I might get blackballed and lose my MAN CARD for admitting this, but here goes. I was cleaning out the closet, looking for smaller pants to wear. I started rummaging for something that would fit, found a nice pair to try on. They were a PERFECT fit, better than any pants I've put on. Looked good in the mirror too! All that walking is shaping my butt up! Did I really say that last line?   Up till recently, you could lean me up against a flat wall and there’d be no gaps anywhere from the top of my back to my calves. My butt was so flat… How flat was it? It was often mistaken for an end table when I lay on the floor.   I looked at the tags only to find that they weren’t men’s pants at all - but a ladies size 16 that got left behind from a previous girlfriend! They must’ve mistakenly gotten mixed in with the tons of other pants and shirts that were put in the “I’ll be able to wear that again someday,” wishful thinking pile.   For the MAN Committee, I know you have no knowledge of this, but, a 16 is the 1X Women's Plus Size according to Overstock.com. And I DID have to look that up; it didn’t come from memory or previous experience wearing women’s clothing! (So MAN Committee, please take that into account when voting.)   This means that I now have the body of a woman with voluptuous hips!   P.S. Blackball or not, I'm KEEPING the pants!!   Keep Pimpin that sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

13
 

Confession Time: The Spaghetti Monster Almost Got ME!

I found one of my trigger foods. It's spaghetti or more specifically pasta. My mom made some homemade spaghetti on Sunday (homemade as in, homemade from a jar, you know, the same line of thought as Olive Garden treats you like family). Really, Olive Garden treats you like family, I don't recall my mom ever presenting a bill at the end of a meal. But I digress.   Any way, I took the leftovers home with me. For supper, I ate my normal portion, and a few minutes later wanted another portion - even though my stomach was telling me I was stuffed to the top. I wanted it so bad that I would have cage wrestled a bear for another bowl.   It wasn't easy, but I stopped myself. The hardest part - and I can't believe it was so difficult to do - was to throw out the spaghetti. I kept telling myself that I could space out the spaghetti into several meals during the week. But, I knew if I left it in the house, I'd find some way to convince myself to eat more that eventing. There is a dog that trots through my yard daily, so he may be going into insulin shock today!   Only 1 other time have I wanted to eat something so bad - it was a banana laying in the fruit bowl. So adios spaghetti noodles, I'll eat you at mom's house, but you won't be coming home with me anymore.
joatsaint

joatsaint

11
 

Gastric Sleeve Surgery - What My Doc Told Me to Expect

I was really happily surprised to find out that my gastric sleeve surgery is expected to last less than an hour. Apparently my doc has done A LOT of theses and can pretty much knock them out like an assembly line.   I'm to check in at 7am, surgery is at 9:30am, expected to be back in my room by 10:30am. Spend the day recovering and walking. Next day drink the barium for the leak test and be released late in the afternoon.   He said not to expect any internal pain, the only pain should be at the incision points and very little gas discomfort. So we'll see.   Some of the unexpected things that I didn't find out until the last minute:   Had to go to the hospital for several tests - blood, ultra sound, chest xrays and EDG (camera down the throat to check out the stomach).   Have to go to the hospital with 72 hours of the surgery to get blood typed (in case of the need for a transfusion) and urine test.   So the only things I have left is the per surgery blood/urine test and then the surgery. Very excited.   My copay for the doctor has been about $2000 so far (office visits/surgery cost) My hospital costs so far, $1000 (blood, ultra sound, chest xrays and EDG)   Costs still to be determined: pre-op blood/urine test and hospital costs for the 2 days pre and post surgery.
joatsaint

joatsaint

10
 

Blow Is Just an Expression - CPAP and Sterilized Water

OMG, That stuff is nasty.   When I was in the hospital, my CPAP machine ran out of water. I asked for some tap water, and the nurse offered me some sterile water instead. At the time, I couldn't smell or taste anything, so it wasn't a problem.   It was after I got back home and tried on my mask. The stench had infiltrated every part of the mask, tubing and reservoir. It took a few rinsing, but I finally got the stench out.   Sterilized means that all the bacteria and viruses have been removed or killed, such as by UV irradiation or boiling.   Distilled means the water has been boiled, the steam collected, and condensed back into pure water.
joatsaint

joatsaint

10
 

Can You Fail With The Sleeve?

I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.   Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?   From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.   The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.   And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.   Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.   The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.   But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.   I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.   Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?   What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?   Ok, rant over. :-)
joatsaint

joatsaint

9
 

Sh*t's Gettin Real Up In Here - Knocking On Twoderland's Door

Let the countdown begin. Weighed in at 305 or less 2 days in a row - so it's official, 305 lbs. (I don't officially call it until I've been at a weight for at least 2 days!). Weighed in at 304.8 this morning, 305.8 at 5pm., let's see if it happens two days in a row again!   Just a matter of days until I'm below 300 lbs - 1st time I'll be that low in almost 4 years. Hard to believe I'm losing weight. Been too many years hoping the dream would come true, and this actually happening to me are too difficult to accept as real. I keep thinking I might be in a dream or I'm being punked. I'll wake up and POOF, I'm still in my old body.   The thoughts of it not being real and being disappointed again keep crowding in. Don't know when I'll let myself accept the reality of being at a lower weight. Oh well, I'll just keep drifting down the river Denial. Maybe I can deny myself right into 190 lbs. :-P
joatsaint

joatsaint

8
 

How To Protect Your Food From Co-workers

I don't know about you, but the 2 most important work rules I know of are:   1. Don't take another man's tools without asking first. 2. Don't F with another man's food.   Violating either rule can put you in dire jeopardy of losing blood, skin, hair or at the very least, finding a nasty surprise in your lunch kit the next day.   But my current workplace is a bit looser about those rules - being that it's mainly ladies and has more of a community atmosphere compared to the construction sites I worked in the past. So it's not uncommon to find that your friends have raided the fridge and at least part of your lunch was donated to the cause.   It was one of those serendipitous moments yesterday that I learned exactly how to protect my food in the community fridge. My director had stashed a piece of Italian Cream cake in the fridge - leftover from the previous day's birthday celebrations - in between two balloon print paper plates.   The top plate had a simple message printed in bold black Sharpie on it,   "Please do not eat me." "P.S. I already licked it!" - Kyle   Pure genius!   Have you any tips on how to protect your food/stuff/things from being "borrowed"?
joatsaint

joatsaint

8
 

Beans Beans...The Musical Fruit...or Green Beans, Mother Nature's Broom

Ok, in the interest of full disclosure, the 1st part of the title isn't true about green beans - at least not in my case, they don't give me gas. But the good news is, they do make me "regular."   Garden season has sprung in Texas and my dad's green beans are coming up like weeds. As usual, he planted waaaaaaay too many green bean plants and is complaining about having to get out there and pick them. And when I say waaaay too many, I mean just that. He has 3 rows of green bean plants - each row about 40 feet long. That's a lot for just my mom and dad.   I know that he secretly loves the fact that he has too many. He enjoys giving away the extras. But is always complaining that no one wants to come and pick. I try to tell him, "Grow something that people want and they'll come. No one wants to come dig turnips!"   Now a normal person would just pick what they could use and let the rest rot on the vine. Not my dad. He grew up at the end of the Depression and can't let anything go to waste - even if he never uses it.   So they will pick and can fruit and vegetables until the garden dies. Then, a year later, he's throwing out the old canned and frozen stuff to make room for new.   Mom, dad, and me picked about 5 gallons of green beans off one row, and that was AFTER they had already picked the row two times previously! So, they gotta lotta beans left to pick on the other rows.   Now I have a freezer stocked with fresh green beans.   Cooking them is simple: put in water, bring to a boil, add garlic, salt, and onion to taste. Boil for about 15 minutes. Poke with fork to test tenderness. Grab one with tongs for taste test. Blow on green bean to cool it off. Taste. Hold ice cube on burned tongue. Eat meal with green beans - not being able to taste anything because of burned tongue.   I've eaten a cup or two every evening for the past 4 days and I've gone to the bathroom once a day since I started eating green beans. My normal schedule is once every 4 days, until now. So I'm crediting the fiber in the green beans.     A cup of green beans has about 40 calories - 2 grams of fiber - 2 grams of carbs.   All varieties of green beans are low in calories and contain healthy nutrients: dietary fiber, calcium and iron. One cup has 200 milligrams of potassium, plus beta carotene and vitamin A.   Next month: One potato...two tomatoes   Keep Pimpin that Sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Are You a Half-Fast Loser?

Fast loser, slow loser, I am a half-fast loser! On average, I lose about 3 lbs each week. But on the other hand, I'm eating good and haven't really had to exercise hard. I walk 5 days a week and am working my way up to 5 miles per day. I've managed to get to 5 miles only 2 times since I've started. Knee and hip pain sometimes interfere with my walking.   How I wanted to be one of those posters who could say they lost 100 lbs in 6 months, but it doesn't look like it's in the cards for me. But I try to be satisfied with a steady down tick of the scale.   If I can maintain this downward pace, I'll be down 150 lbs in 10 months. That would be freakin awesome! That would put me at my lowest weight since high school - 27 years ago! And at 190 - my ideal body weight.   Jeeze, until I wrote that last sentence, I hadn't taken time to do the math! 190 seems like a weight someone else is, not me. I don't know if I can handle being normal. It seems like one of those daydreams that only comes true in the movies.   Ok, back on topic - the one thing most fast losers don't mention in their posts is, what they had to do to have such fast results. Did they workout 7 days a week on the treadmill for hours, living on Unjury and water? Or do they have a naturally fast metabolism?   Or are they just attention whores, looking for approval and praise?   ***Disclaimer, I know of no one that has lied about their weight loss! And no animals were harmed in the writing of this post. But my cat thinks I'm starving him!***   Anyway, the whole point of this post was supposed to be, be satisfied that you are losing weight - whatever the speed! If you want to lose faster: move a little more, eat a little better, and stick with the guidelines from your NUT.   Oh, and don't forget to have a support group like the good folks here on verticlesleevetalk. You don't have to post anything, it helps me just seeing that others have the same questions and concerns keeps me from feeling alone.
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Weighing After A Poop? You Are NOT Alone! :-)

Do You Weigh After a Poop?   Started by joatsaint     joatsaint   Posted Today, 4:31 PM Is anyone as crazy as me? I jump on the scale pre and post poop to see the difference. It doesn't count on my "official" weight loss chart or anything. Or am I just being too OCD?       johnlatte     Posted Today, 4:33 PM yes, that's a bit ocd     sarahr     Posted Today, 4:37 PM I did a few times when it was umm substantial LOL Gross   But no difference. DO you see a difference? And why not count it?     katikati     Posted Today, 4:41 PM Guilty. Did it today, lost two pounds. No joke. I consider it less OCD and more of just a marvel because I'm only pooping every three days, so it's quite the event.     laura-ven     Posted Today, 4:42 PM If I did I'm not telling! But OCD runs in my family...     Kristina J.     Posted Today, 4:45 PM My husband is as fit as can be, has never had weight loss surgery and considers weighing pre and post poop one of his favorite past times! This is my prize... This is what God gave me...     VSGKirk     Posted Today, 4:47 PM I only get on a scale once a week, but when I do - definitely after a nice BM, emptying my bladder twice, stripped nekkid including removing my genital piercing... quite the ritual, but it works for me!     joatsaint     Posted Today, 4:48 PM I can always rely on you guys to make me feel soooooooooooooo much better about myself. And I don't count it because it's only temporary. I'll have another torpedo in the tube by the next day.     laura-ven     Posted Today, 5:06 PM LOL.. I see a new thread. "I'm not fat! I'm full of ****"     bunnyg33     Posted Today, 5:09 PM     VSGKirk, on March 1, 2013 - 4:47 PM, said:   I only get on a scale once a week, but when I do - definitely after a nice BM, emptying my bladder twice, stripped nekkid including removing my genital piercing... quite the ritual, but it works for me!   Sounds like my routine but I do not remove my piercings, too much work. I do take my glasses off though lol.     bethxxx     Posted Today, 5:13 PM I always weigh after a poop, I never weigh before hand to see the difference though, I just poop then weigh. I also get naked, take off my jewelry and hop on and off like 3 times, just to be sure hahah     Kristina J.     Posted Today, 5:15 PM Let's not forget that this must ALWAYS be before our shower!! We all know that a shower can add, what? 10 pounds of water weight?!?     johnlatte     Posted Today, 5:34 PM I can't even believe that I came back and read the rest of this thread.     Workingonnewme     Posted Today, 5:39 PM Lol..I do it all the time!     joatsaint     Posted Today, 5:53 PM   bunnyg33, on March 1, 2013 - 5:09 PM, said:   Sounds like my routine but I do not remove my piercings, too much work. I do take my glasses off though lol. And as we all know, glasses add 10 lbs, unless you wear those new ones with the helium filled frames. When I go into the doctor for post op weigh-ins, they ask me if I want to take my shoes off. I say no, but I do leave my cell phone in the car. That thing is heavy! TD41   Posted 48 minutes ago rofl some of the responses are hilarious... I weigh myself after a bm as well... so i am happy to know im not alone
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Post-Op 28 Days - Passin Gas or Can You Smell What the Rock is Cookin?

Gastronomically, things are crazy. I've been passing gas (and I don't mean gas as in gas station!) every night. I wake up at 1:30am or 4:30am belching and farting like crazy. I've passed so much gas I'm afraid to turn on the lights - I might set off a spark and cause an explosion.   I can lay on my left side and feel okay. If I switch to my right, I can feel and hear gurgling in my stomach. Don't understand that. But it all stops right after I wake up for work, I guess that's a small blessing for my co-workers. :-)   I'm thinking that since my bowel movements have slowed to every other day, the food sitting in my intestines has more time to ferment.     Anyone else experience this?
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

I Don’t Have To Finish My Plate or How I’m Fighting With Old Habits

For the past few weeks or so, I have been trying to get my protein from solid pieces of food like chicken or pork loin. Up until now, I’ve been eating ground chicken or ground turkey – meats that were partially broken down by the grinding process. But now that I’ve switched to whole pieces, the switch brings up new issues.   When I was eating the ground meat plus vegetables, it was all mixed up like a casserole and keeping track of portions was as easy as spooning some into my half cup container. No muss no fuss no leftovers. Now it’s more difficult to judge just how much I can eat at one meal and I often wind up with a few bites leftover.   Enter the problem. I’m a kid of the “clean your plate club.” I was always encouraged to clean my plate (I think I got a merit badge, I was so gifted) and now that old habit is coming back to haunt me. Even when Frankensleeve (Yes, I named him!) is telling me I’m full and if I eat any more, he’s going to put the stomach in reverse gear, I still feel compelled to eat the last two or three bites.   Frankie: "Hey were full up down here, turn off the chewing machine." Me: "But I still have 2 bites of meat left." Frankie: "Okay guys, send up a burp as a warning." Me: Burp. "Oooh, that one feels like it squeezed past some food to get out. But I'll go ahead and eat those last 2 bites." Frankie: "Okay guys, put it in reverse!" Me: "Uh oh."   Now, I am training myself to put the fork down and walk away. I really want this compulsion out of my life. It’s like having to go through the first few weeks post-surgery all over again. Learning when to stop and not take just one more bite – especially when it’s something extra yummy! Frankie and I will just have to build a new relationship I guess.   P.S. Frankie really doesn't like freshly dug, boiled new potatoes!   Leave me a comment and let us know what issues you struggle with. It helps everyone to know they aren't alone.   Keep Pimpin that sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Messed Up Bad

At work on Wednesday they fed us lunch and I couldn't resist the free food. I had a single serving of pototo chips (160 calories) and 1/2 of a big cookie that came with the meal. If I hadn't already eaten earlier I wouldn't have felt so bad about it.   So I tried to make up for it by walking an extra mile the same day.   Sometimes the temptation is there, it's hard to make the best food choices, but I don't think I went too far overboard. I woke up 2 lbs lighter this morning.   You have any tips to avoid temptation?
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Monster Poos - The Smelly Secret Behind Stalls or What can Brown Doodoo for you?

Update: 4-26-3013: It's still amazing to see what and how much comes out of me, considering how little I am eating. Most of the time, it feels like I am passing jagged rocks and it comes out looking like a pile of marbles. Then there are times like today, where this monstrous poo python emerges. And I'm thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I just pooped yesterday and I haven't changed my eating habits or eaten extra food."   Is there some storage area in the intestines I don't know about? Are my guts becoming some kind of Dooms Day Prepper? Some kind of "just in case we need it" secret poo stash?   Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?         I was visited by the infamous 3rd week stall. I didn't lose any more weight for about 5 days. Hit a 2nd wall on week 5, same thing. It takes me 4 - 6 days to start losing again. It helps speed up the process when I walk a little more than normal.   But I've learned that part of the stall is tied to bowel movements. Post-Op, I only go every other day or every 3rd day depending on how much fiber/carbs I take in.   You might want to consider how much waste your body is holding onto. My bathroom visits aren't steady at this point, sometimes I'll go twice on the same day. I'll be thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I know I haven't eaten that much!"   Sometimes I'll be over a pound lighter after a monster poop! My record is 2 lbs.
joatsaint

joatsaint

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Punk'd by Mothra or How a Butterfly Made Me His Bhatch

Ok, the good news. I graduated from walking indoors to walking outdoors. Now the bad news. Monarch butterflies are bullies!   I've finally gotten enough endurance and stamina to start walking outdoors. I still don't like exercising, but I do like the effects. And I just can't make myself use either my recumbent bike or treadmill - they're just too boring. And besides, the computer is just 10 feet away the whole time, pouting from lack of attention. Did I mention that my Dell is an attention wh*re?   So I have to get outside to walk. I have a state park just a few miles away and there are some nice nature trails that are about 1 mile in length.   I've only been out there with my best friend. That way, if we run into a bear or wolf, I don't have to outrun the critter, I only have to outrun my friend!   But this week, my friend is out of state, visiting his sister in Ohio. So it was questionable if I was going to motivate myself to get out and walk today at the park. But I mustered up the energy and drove out to the park.   So here we go. I got my bright yellow shirt, the $5 forest green cap that I picked up in Alaska (is says, "If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes!") and shades. Oh goodie, I look like a guy cruising the park looking for other guys - that has been known to happen at this park.   Luckily for me the park was almost deserted and even better, no one was on the trails. So I started my normal route. Around the lake, skirt the canal and head back to the car through the flat areas.   There are some ups and down areas that I think help strengthen my legs and ankles, but not so steep as to cause me pain, or worse, hurtle down hill out of control! Going uphill is no problem. I just don't do down's very well. I'm not good at getting down, boogieing down or going down hill.   Anyway, back to my story. I was minding my own business, walking the trail, hugging the shade, and lost in my own thoughts when suddenly a black shape swoops out of the woods. Mere inches from my left arm.   And I did what any manly man would do. I flinched and started windmilling my arms (oops, I meant to say, "used my master karate skills"), to swat away whatever that deadly critter was - to keep it's venomous fangs away from my throat!   A lifetime later (or about 3 seconds in real time), I realized it was just a huge Monarch butterfly fluttering by. He casually fluttered across the trail and back into the woods. But I swear, this was no ordinary butterfly. I think it was a Pimp butterfly, cause he fluttered with a limp and was very colorful, like a pimp, and had an attitude. I swear I heard him say, "Punk ass bit*h!" as he fluttered back into the woods.   I'm sure he told all his butterfly friends about how he - a 1 ounce butterfly - scared a 280 pound man and made him flinch. I guess I'm lucky he didn't give me two punches for flinching or have a smart phone to capture a video of whole thing. Otherwise, I might be on Youtube ring now, going viral.   P.S. The good news is: I managed to walk just over 2 miles AND, as a bonus, got in a killer arm workout. But I fear the psychological scars may never heal.   Keep Pimpin that Sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

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