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lifelong journey

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Stumbling Forward

Perhaps I should have started this before the surgery instead of one month post but its all good. My process happened so fast the I had my consult and then surgery 5 weeks apart. My insurance paid in full less my deductible. I feel good and see the transition. I am down just over 30 lbs even though I weighed this amount last summer. I have dropped two sizes and promptly donated those clothes knowing I will never be THAT size again. I have an entire closet of clothes from size 18 to a size 12. Looking forward to wearing everything until I reach the point that I am less than a 12 and need to shop :-) I have a few struggles about my sleeve. I am never hungry and have to force myself to eat. The same goes for drinking too. Regular water makes me thirstier so for now I live on vitamin water. I miss diet coke and not drinking while I eat too. Lastly my marriage has changed. I probably should have said this first but I am in denial. My husband was against the surgery and has held firm to the idea that this was the biggest mistake of my life. He is wrong of course and at the moment I am not even going to spend more time on the subject but to say, I hope he comes around.
mickmick

mickmick

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Starting Line

Even though I have always been overweight in my adult years, I have been active. It would down right piss me offwhen people say just exercise. There mouths would fall open when I saw, I have two young kids, work out twice a day (cardio in the a.m. and weights with a trainer or fitness classes at night). In my spare time, I also played co ed softball twice a week. I found out I had thyroid disease just after college as the freshmen fifteen would steadily be added each year thereafter. I would gain and re-lose the weight repeatedly. After I married and had kids I steadily went from 165 to 276 at my highest. I started having sports injuries such as heel spurs and torn muscles along the way which would stop the workouts to say the least. In Dec 2011 my husband's job brought us 800 miles from home. I have been here 7 months and still dont have any friends. I joined several softball leagues hoping to find an outlet. I know I am a decent player so I was shocked when my coach batted me last game after game even though there was girls on the team who never played before. I finally asked him why and was shocked with his answer. He said well, to be honest, I have no place else to bat you given you size. In fact, I see you as a liability on the team. Granted my batting average is about 800. But he didnt see that, he just saw a fatso playing ball. I should have told him offbut instead I waiting until after the game and cried all the way home. It was then I decided to get help. I see it as a blessing that being so new to town, people I meet from now on wont know the morbidly obese me.
mickmick

mickmick

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