eg2014

I underwent a lap band procedure almost 10 years ago as a teenager. At that point, thousands had been spent on multiple diet programs (meal replacements...ugh), gym memberships, and personal trainers. I was steadily losing weight, but that lifestyle was absolutely draining me emotionally and physically. I would eat a Werthers Original and beat myself up about it. I lived with headaches and sallow skin. I limited my banana and carrot intake in fear i would gain weight, Im sure if you're reading this, there's a chance you've experienced this crappy lifestyle as well. 
Fast forward to my early 20's. My tube got a puncture from a fill at some point, and needed to be replaced. My band was now noneffective and my sluggish metabolism resulted in weight gain. Seriously....i could eat a muffin, and gain a muffintop! My corrective surgery was booked and ready when it was discovered i was pregnant!
Now I have a 3 year old and still no working lap band! I have gained 120+ lbs in 4 years and feel like such a failure. Im worse than i was before lapband, but have nowhere near as much willpower as i did back then.  i choose to avoid the issue, and the depression, by avoiding mirrors and have become best buddies with ice cream and lasagna. I realize my "eff it!" mentality will not save me, but it does give momentary relief. Crying with Chinese take-out is more comforting than crying with celery sticks.
I have started going to an Aquafit class and aim to eat salad lunches at the very least 3 times a week. My goal is to lose 20 pounds while i look into getting my band in working order again, and I hope to blog here regularly. Hopefully i can meet some inspiring new people from this great site.
Thank you for your time and best of luck with your own journeys!