JillC878

[size=4][font=Times New Roman][color=#000000]I am not sure exactly where to begin my story because, like so many others, it is a lifetime long. I have been overweight as long as I can remember. In the 5th grade I was bullied by two classmates because of my weight. I can still feel that pain many years later. The story continues with much of the same year after year. I had friends, boyfriends, and participated in many activities, but I was still fat and the pain, anxiety, and self-loathing that I felt over it never left.[/color][/font]

[font=Times New Roman][color=#000000]Fast-forward 18 years after graduation and I have many of the same feelings, but am now at least 75lbs heavier. I've hovered around 200-220 lbs most of my adult life, but in 2010 I started to have some medical issues, and a year and half later, was diagnosed with both Lupus and Fibromyalgia. My world began to slow down. I could not move without pain; it took all I had to work 8 hours and there was nothing left for exercise. As time went on, I ate more and would almost keep up with my fiancé at dinner. The weight piled on.[/color][/font]

[font=Times New Roman][color=#000000]I do think I have a sugar addiction. If it were not for sweets, I think I wouldn't be as heavy as I am now. I just cannot seem to resist and once I start it's all over. Also, I do not drink; not just water, but really at all. 20oz of coffee will last until lunch time and I might drink another 20oz of fluid (water, soda, milk, etc) by days end. While I'm confessing all of my bad habits..... I am an emotional eater also. I eat when I am upset or just bored. I am just saying this because other then exercise, I know these are my biggest obstacles diet wise.[/color][/font]

[font=Times New Roman][color=#000000]So it seems I know what the problems are, but cannot find a way to fix them. I have tried diets and would loose and gain, loose and gain. I have tried drugs; I was on Qsymia for 6 months (that cost over $200 a month with health insurance!) at they highest dose, eating 1200 to 1500 calories a day, and walking or riding a stationary bike for 15 to 30 minutes a day and only lost 15 lbs in total. I feel hopeless and like a failure. Not to mention, all of those emotions from being a picked-on kid are still with me. I am now at a point where my MD has told me that I should have surgery - not only my PCP, but my Rheumatologist has agreed whole heartedly. They have told me that if the weight comes off, I will feel much better and the pain in my joints and muscles will decrease. I have to wear a C-Pap now and they say that I may be able to stop using it if enough weight comes off. I have been in constant pain for a while now; I would welcome any relief and if that means surgery then I am willing to go with it.[/color][/font][/size]