palomarules

[font=lucida sans unicode,lucida grande,sans-serif]I guess that there are only two clichés: I was thin all my life and then I got fat or I have been struggling with my weight all my life..., I am in the first category. I was thin and had a bird-like appetite and then I had children and transformed into someone totally different. I had put on an enormous amount of weight with my first pregnancy, but managed to get it back down, but with my second pregnancy with twins, all hell broke loose. [/font]

[font=lucida sans unicode,lucida grande,sans-serif]I can attribute a lot of the weight gain to sleep deprivation as my kids never slept the whole night through for four years! They actually woke up at different times and I would take care of them and then take care of myself with a cookie or four in the wee hours of the morning. I actually noticed that I could graze pretty much all the time, day or night. I created some kind of chemical imbalance that could not be changed. My body was not made to tolerate a lot o extra weight and I began to have problems with my joints , suffered from urge incontinence and chafing skin when my legs rubbed together. I was in complete agony. I got a gastric band in 2001 and lost almost 70lbs.[/font]

[font=lucida sans unicode,lucida grande,sans-serif]The results from the band were marvelous from the outside. I suffered a great deal and ate worst than I had ever eaten in my life! My esophagus only like high fat and processed foods. Fresh fruit and vegetables came right up, grains and meat were intolerable, but I looked good. Eventually I lost too much, my boobs were like prunes and my stomach looked like an old wash cloth was hanging off me. I began a process of trying to have the band adjusted so that I could gain a little weight because it was also affecting my libido. The band was left with very little liquid in it for four years and although my weight wasn't perfect, I looked fine. I began to eat almost normally without too much excess and then I realised that the band slipped. The adjustment process did more harm than good. I was actually dying. The band had to come out. It was removed in January 2012 and despite my best efforts to keep weight gain at bay, it came back with a fury.[/font]

[font=lucida sans unicode,lucida grande,sans-serif]I am now back to my old weight and my body has not liked it at all. My knees are so bad, that I am using a cane, my spine and feet are suffering and the urge incontinence has begun all over again. Every doctor that I have seen says that my problems are weight related and I have to get it off fast. The doctor who removed the band saw my xrays and believes that the sleeve is the best alternative for me. He said that he is most worried that I would lose too much weight, but I'm willing to take that chance.[/font]

[font=lucida sans unicode,lucida grande,sans-serif]My husband is the only one that I have told about the impending surgery and he is not supportive at all. He is actually looking at it from the standpoint of the impact on our dining out in restaurants. He and most of his family have always been thin, and regulary eat high calorie meals with no impact whatsoever. I used to be like that, but no more. I would actually be happy if I never had to eat another thing in my life. I hate what my life has become and hate that I have no control over my eating. There is too much to do in life than to spend it obsessing about food. I want to be able to eat what is necessary for health and then leave the rest. I can't wait to get it over with.[/font]

[font=lucida sans unicode,lucida grande,sans-serif]I am on this site because I need support and understanding. I need to share this with friends who have been there too.[/font]