4 Days Post op, Ready to cry, and have no support!


13 posts in this topic

I thought my husband would be okay, even though he expressed to me he didn't want me to have the surgery. He has been distance and is upset with me.

I've tried talking to him but that doesn't do anything.

I don't know if he will get over it or if this is the beginning of forever.

We have 4 kids and it's hard , resting doesn't even seem like an option. My husband works all day so I'm home. No one lives near us and I even kept this surgery a secret.

I can't rewind time

I need prayer

I need help

This is definitely a roller coaster of emotions.

Everything happens for a reason...

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Reach out to someone you can talk to - a clergy member, confide in a friend, talk to your bariatric team.

If your husband did not want you to have surgery, that's an issue the two of you are going to have to work through - please consider counseling.

At 4 days out, my emotions were all over the place and I was a hot mess. Just remind yourself that you will feel better the further you get from surgery. Those first couple of weeks are rough -physically and emotionally. Be kind to yourself.

I don't know how old your kids are but get the ones who can more involved in doing things around the house.

Best of luck.

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I had this surgery done in December and i felt the same but 3 months passed loosing weight gives the confidence levels and encouraging. Please do hang in there and you will have good days. Please feel free to reach out


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I am sorry you are feeling so down.
I will pray for you.
Why didn't your husband want you to get the surgery?
Did he like you overweight?
Was he an enabler?
That doesn't sound very loving or understanding of him.



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I am sorry you are feeling so down.
I will pray for you.
Why didn't your husband want you to get the surgery?
Did he like you overweight?
Was he an enabler?
That doesn't sound very loving or understanding of him.





Pre op I was able to lose 25 lbs and doing that proved that I can lose weight.
But I told him it's a yo yo effect. For 5 years I go up and down 50 lbs and can never get where I want.
He doesn't like the idea of surgery possibly scared something would happen.

He definitely didn't like me overweight, before we had kids I was a healthy 215lbs and as years came and more kids came I was always 300lbs

I wasn't happy with myself and now I'm ready to take control of something I have battled all my life my weight.

I'm very happy today...
I'm literally 10 pounds from my pregnancy weight from my very first child which was 10 years ago!

Continue to pray for me, my marriage and health.
Today my husband seemed a little more at ease. Which is comforting, he wanted to watch a movie after dinner and cuddle.


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His reasons seem a bit selfish, but that's just my opinion with the information given.

This is a serious health issue with numerous comorbidities that has consequences on life span so support is a must. I would ensure he understands the importance of it especially if he claims to be concerned about your health.

To be honest if my wife wasn't supportive of my surgery we'd maybe not be together. Thankfully she's an awesome wife, she (on her own initiative) has attended various appointments with me since I started the weight management program, some classes too, and one of my dietitian appointments was mainly conversation between wife and RD about what food she could get and cook for me post-op. I would most certainly do the same for her.

Definitely reach out to others you can trust who aren't judgmental, who are supportive, or if none exist this place seems as good as any. :)



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Ofcourse I don't know you and your husband personally.But, MY husband was and still is insecure about the changes. We can't go out to eat like we used to. He Hates nutrition period. He is overweight and feels like I'm forcing him to change. He has expressed that he thinks I'm going to leave him after I lose weight.etc..etc..I said all this to say that I did this for me,my children and grandchildren! I have high blood pressure, asthma, back problems, and ankle problems. I pray for Him because he has the issues! GOD brought me through this surgery with no complications! It's been one month today and I'm down 20lbs! You deserve to be healthy for yourself and your children! You just Pray for your husband! He and your kids will be so proud of you one day!



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Ofcourse I don't know you and your husband personally.But, MY husband was and still is insecure about the changes. We can't go out to eat like we used to. He Hates nutrition period. He is overweight and feels like I'm forcing him to change. He has expressed that he thinks I'm going to leave him after I lose weight.etc..etc..I said all this to say that I did this for me,my children and grandchildren! I have high blood pressure, asthma, back problems, and ankle problems. I pray for Him because he has the issues! GOD brought me through this surgery with no complications! It's been one month today and I'm down 20lbs! You deserve to be healthy for yourself and your children! You just Pray for your husband! He and your kids will be so proud of you one day!





Thanks for your encouraging words...
Things seem to be heading down hill. My husband is under a lot of stress from family problems and as well as me.
I feel great about getting the surgery and only regret him not being supportive. I've told him numerous times the liquid diet and purée stage is only temporary. He hates seeing me eat that way I guess because he feels bad I'm like I'm suffering.
I put on a smile and I knock out each day doing my best.
Today wasn't a good day and I'm looking forward to waking to see my kids faces smile and laugh.

I've been doing a lot of walking to help clear my mind and get out the house. It's hard when you don't have friends and no one near to talk too.

But anyways I thank you for your support.


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Thanks for your encouraging words...
Things seem to be heading down hill. My husband is under a lot of stress from family problems and as well as me.
I feel great about getting the surgery and only regret him not being supportive. I've told him numerous times the liquid diet and purée stage is only temporary. He hates seeing me eat that way I guess because he feels bad I'm like I'm suffering.
I put on a smile and I knock out each day doing my best.
Today wasn't a good day and I'm looking forward to waking to see my kids faces smile and laugh.

I've been doing a lot of walking to help clear my mind and get out the house. It's hard when you don't have friends and no one near to talk too.

But anyways I thank you for your support.



I will be praying your family



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I thought my husband would be okay, even though he expressed to me he didn't want me to have the surgery. He has been distance and is upset with me.
I've tried talking to him but that doesn't do anything.
I don't know if he will get over it or if this is the beginning of forever.
We have 4 kids and it's hard , resting doesn't even seem like an option. My husband works all day so I'm home. No one lives near us and I even kept this surgery a secret.
I can't rewind time
I need prayer
I need help
This is definitely a roller coaster of emotions.
Everything happens for a reason...




I will say a prayer for you. You should tell your husband that you CANT rewind time. So he needs to support you and your kids with how things are now. Not having a little tantrum because he didn't get his way. Good luck to you and take care of yourself. Do not jeopardize your health and life by overexursion.



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